chrysanthemum : how does your muse express romantic love ? how do they feel about love as a concept ?
Armitage’s relationship with romantic love is deeply complicated. Partially due to multiple layers of ptsd and childhood trauma but also due to the varying perspective of his two most significant influences. Deep down, he will always have an inherent fear of becoming attached to someone, born from childhood guilt, that arose when young Armitage witnessed his stepmother taking punishment in his stead when she attempted to shield Armitage from Brendol’s abusive behavior. Another element of that inherent reluctance is fear of vulnerability. This paranoia is applicable to all of Armitage’s relationships whether they be platonic, familial or “romantic”.
Inherent uncertainties aside, Armitage’s outlook on romantic love was forged from the two drastically different perspectives of his prominent mother figures —the only two people ( aside from his stepmother, who’s time with him was fleeting ) who ever showed him genuine love and kindness throughout his childhood.
His first role model was steadfast, diligent, and wholeheartedly devoted to her career. She had no romantic partners. The entirety of Grand Admiral Sloane’s dedication was to the Empire and then The First Order. She viewed The First Order, and Armitage ( her heir and successor ) as her children, and the culmination of all of her passion. Sloane’s outlook was ideal for a tireless engineer who had spent his life rising in the ranks to seek power and claim his freedom from his oppressors. The solitary life instigated Armitage to suppress all of his childhood trauma and bury his emotions deep beneath a tundra of logic and duty.
And yet, the lessons he learned from his second role model resonated enough to strike a fissure into the heart of that resolve. Moff Al Trel was a charismatic, influential woman who nurtured Amitage’s child gentler side along with his vicious potential. It was she that held him after his nightmares when he was small, and she who taught him to strike down his enemies before they had the chance to overpower him. Fate had brought her and Armitage together during the lowest part of her life and he occasionally witnessed her in the midst of her grief over the love she had lost during the war. During a raw, rare moment they shared, she confessed to Armitage that life was short and despite the complicated, nearly maddening ups and downs of her relationship, she did not regret falling in love. She urged Armitage to love deeply, unconditionally and without regret if he ever were to find his equal. Coincidentally, Moff Al Trel’s epic love also mutually toxic at times, which is a trait that Armitage obviously adopted.
Ultimately the influences of these two women birthed a paradox of a lover. Cold, closed and austere, Armitage shuns and rejects the idea of being in a relationship. But the moment the universe brings someone of equal ambition, skill and ferocity into his orbit, he falls into a rhythm of subconscious fascination that eventually erupts into allure and intrigue. He is inherently passionate and protective. A fierce but tender lover. —His diligent and dutiful half existing in tandem with its ardent and loyal counterpart. The intensity of emotion toward his lover varies. He can be very soft, very direct or ever standoffish at times. His expressions of love can be as soft and subtle as praise, gentle touch, acts of service or delivering food. As audacious as suggestive threats, savage kisses, or witty remarks. Or perhaps manifest in something as simple as displaying trust.
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“ why are you here?” there’s no use trying to hide his anger, rage even, at the sight of some hulking mass of force and terror ambling near him. and how much would he hate to be described as ambling? or lurking? though both suit him well in poe’s mind. “or is this another one of those nightmare's you’ve so kindly left me with?”
“ you seem tense, grandson. perhaps its time to hang up the mask, retirement would suit you. ” despite the eerily young visage, there is a wisdom & age that glows brighter than his force spirit. the knowledge of both sith & jedi that gives anakin an insight very few gleam in their lifetime. whether or not @noxiovschooses to listen, well its out of his control.
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Years had passed, but the song had never changed. He watched from the sidelines as one fallen regime was reborn into another, fury boiling over as everything he once fought for became for nought - but perhaps it always had been. The Empire was never truly gone, though how much of it remained in this new darkness has yet to be seen by the fallen Jedi. Not for the first time, his thoughts would turn to what was left behind. A family. Leia, Han, their boy. He wondered how they were handling this - he knew things for Leia had gotten… rough after the truth about their father was leaked. Shock and outrage across the galaxy, Leia reputation all but completely gone.
Not for the first time too, he was glad that this, what he’s become, was not yet known. As much as he’s changed, he wouldn’t want to be the cause of more strife for his sister. The deeds of one fallen Skywalker was enough.
He had known that this day would come eventually, the rising darkness. He had sensed it for years, there had never been true peace since the Empire fell. The Force breathed a little easier, but it did not relax, as it knew the end was not yet near. The tail he’d been trying to shake for years told him enough to know that something was there, active, and aware of him. Part of him suspected the new name floating around the Unknown Regions, Snoke, was behind it. Now there was another, and the Force tugged at him like it wanted him to pay attention to this one. But when he asked why, no clear answer was given. It felt familiar, though.
As a man raised in the Outer Rim, he knew how to stay below the radar. The planet he’d holed himself up in for the moment was quiet, a real backwater place, and far from the conflict. So few visitors were seen that it was laughably easy to pick up the whispers when one passed through. At least, he thought so, until the whispers he heard this time came not from the townsfolk, but the Force. Tugging at him again in that way that said he should know why, who. It only served to put him on edge in that moment as he turned off the lights in his hut, to wait in the dark.
@noxiovs asked: “I hate when people ask me what sign I am. Like, bitch, I am a sign from God. Start running.” / ben @ han
“You know, your mom’s said that to me before, ‘start running’. I heard it a lot while she was pregnant with you…” Checking on the read out from the Falcon’s navigational system, they seemed to be doing well and Han settled back in his seat before looking over at his kid, one corner of his mouth pulled up in a crooked smile. “So who’s getting under your skin now, kid?”
