#notrupi

but sometimes it feels so much like a weakness

it feels like a tap that will never turn off

it feels like a flood

perhaps i could move on with more grace if it wasn't for their beautiful name ;

our names together inseparably woven in my head like the lovers in well-loved literature -

romeo and juliet, bonnie and clyde, daisy and gatsby, hamlet and ophelia, catherine and heathcliff, [redacted] and [redacted]

one without the other seems wrong

one without the other feels a half-truth

oh [redacted]. i begged to any and all powers that could possibly be whether i believed in them or not to have reason to speak your name with love, with soft, with tender again -

i promised my soul to anything willing to take it just to remember once more from our good times the way your name felt in my chest before i spoke it -

when i meant it like a promise -

when i meant it as a vow -