#notrika

a lot of times in my life feel like the title... like I'm not supposed to be living like this and this is not supposed to be a part of my life but it’s just is and there’s not a damn thing i could do abt it...

so then I just start giving myself the false hope that “yes honey... it’s not like this... it’s gonna get better and it’s just a phase...”

and a lot of “it’s not your fault”s. but it is, isn’t it? should we blame all the world for the shit happen to us? nope... it’s just all on us... even when we blame people we’re blaming ourselves cause you know what? “you’re the one trusting those shitty people to do shitty things to ya so there you go...”

I still feel like I don’t belong in this... and I can’t help but wait it out... cause no matter what I do, it’s gonna be the same.