#notourtime

Stalling somewhere because it feels familiar, heart-full, real and secure. Blurred feelings take over and smash the thoughts while I am washing out inside the tiny credit chamber as the walls around me shrink.

I dragged and caused extraction. Weak to the bone and emotionally exhausted i realize the visage in the mirror looks like my broken promise. I am now shrinking too. 

Today my friend we meet. We face each other, we sit down together, we laugh and we cry. We hug and we yell at each other, we hurt and we take care of each other. We swear, we wander around and we speak the truth, we close eyes, we trust and we stay in silence. We hold hands and look at the sky, we crawl up there and we stay till pain suspends.

I hear the sound of your heart beating, but I don’t dare to look up, I stoop down and weep. I give space to chaos instead and float in space, I am a lonely yellow astronaut. I can’t run, I can’t reach you. Yelling at myself to move but I am motionless.

I want to talk, I try, I stop cause my conscious won't let me. Baby, when your wheels stop turning and you feel let down and it seems difficult times are around, hold me, don't be strange, don't pretend you didn’t see me while passing through.

I read the words and I drown in them. Rolling around and bowed on a chair I can’t stop thinking. The sound of the cello is absent, so are your eyes and smile. It is a fragile moment. 

I see you at the beach, you are small and me smaller, we don’t matter, we are beautiful gypsies, signing, dancing and playing. You look up at the sky and you say look how small the sun is, I could put it in my pocket and bring it to you, then I look up at the sun and I can feel the way gravity pulls on you and me and I look up at the sky and I can see, the way sun burns you and me.

Passionate souls with same dreams but yet different, souls who got lost in the time layers of universe and stuck in artificial structures of microlife. Souls that lost sight of the way, souls who forgot and gave in the bright darkness, the regulator of life, the default. Souls who got lost on the way to planets while cruising around the universe was the goal. They ended up in different time spaces and didn’t find their common time gate.

Maybe causing extraction is the way. Maybe yellow was not mellow. Not our time.