day 580 : i quit my job 1 month ago today. . this is currently what many of my days look like, and i'm not mad about it. . quitting my job was the scariest decision i think i've ever made, and i went back and forth agonizing for months on end. in reality, i needed the experience/to prove myself that i COULD go back to work, but the effect on my personal wellness and recovery was never positive from the start. . i am confident i've made the right decision, both for my soul and for continued focus and dedication to all of this return in function and feeling i'm feeling and continue to get back. i am amazed and eternally grateful. . i've gone back to driving #uber and #lyft, but to counteract all of that sitting (wellness, come on people) i've become a grocery shopper for #instacart and #shipt. turns out, it's kind of the perfect training tool i need right now?? . sometimes i end up at 6-8 stores a day. legs are definitely feeling it, but i'm refining my walk and getting some fast paces in! plus, carrying groceries is like, peak function training - am i right #fitfam . doc says i really don't need any more physical therapy, but i'm NOWHERE NEAR where i want to be! anyone have any ideas for something a step beyond personal training with a touch of neuro?? #help . that's enough of an update for now. just doing my best every day, which sometimes isn't that great, but hey - does it really even matter? 😬🙃 . cheers friends. keep on keepin on 🖤 . . . #spinalcordinjury #rebuild #scirecovery #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #moveyourbody #keeponkeepinon #neverstopplaying #justgottagetthroughit #healingisnotlinear #ambulatorywheelchairusersexist #dothehardstuff https://www.instagram.com/p/Bte0eOmhSvX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=m0tmx3cvc70k

day 335 : [11 months] . approaching one year in one month is kicking up feely-emotions that haven’t been felt in a few months. . mental health is an on-going challenge. from accepting the way my body now looks, to constantly expecting to fall at any moment, to balancing pushing myself too hard with workouts v. taking the rest i need, to just figuring out how new me is going to choose to handle every-day life things. . to say it’s been a rollercoaster is an understatement. it’s been a tortuous, scarring, burning, bruising ride through various levels of hell, and every moment of it has ultimately been full of beauty. even the ugly ones. . thanks instagram for giving me a peek through the journeys of so many others, showing me i’m not alone, and appreciating the raw magic that comes from fighting a fight. thank you insta-fam for coming along with me in this ride. . today’s workout dedicated to the power of knowing who you are enough to be proud of the choices you make, and living what makes you feel wild. . #liveyourbestlife #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou

day 414 : missing my body a little bit (ok, a lotta bit) today. . return to work has been more difficult than i've given it space for. been go go go the past few weeks without really processing how i feel about it. . working at a college recreation center means you're surrounded by fit and capable bodies that like to move and play and exert massive amounts of effort. and i'm reminded every moment that i don't recognize or trust this new body. i try to be present and positive, but spinal cord injury is like a snapchat filter that never turns off and has dampened my flame a bit. sorry if i've been a downer lately (and i know i shouldn't be apologizing for it, but still) . anyway. it's not all darkness inside of me these days. my burpee is getting stronger every time i try it, and our brand new fitness facility inspired me to get on my head again. i guess bionic spine still works the same upside down. . . . #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife #craighospital #chickswithsticks #keeponkeepinon #neverstopplaying #justgottagetthroughit #vulnerabilityisstrength #disabledandcute (at Clemson University)

day 413 : oh hey everybody, i went to florida last weekend 😬 . learning to walk on a moving boat for the second time in my life. . thanks mom & dad for boat life that i am so grateful for 🖤 it was one of the things that ran through my head most while using a wheelchair because i didn't know how i was going to make it happen. it's a struggle to get around now, but getting easier each time. . . . #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife #craighospital #keeponkeepinon #neverstopplaying #justgottagetthroughit #vulnerabilityisstrength #disabledandcute

day 404 : it’s not if you fall, it’s when you fall right? . i fell at work. lol. good thing i work at a gym and my co-workers are beasts. @jenlynnrod you the real bionic mvp today. 🖤 . . . #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife #craighospital #chickswithsticks #keeponkeepinon #neverstopplaying #justgottagetthroughit #vulnerabilityisstrength #disabledandcute

day 394 : here's a compilation of some things i've been working on lately 🙃 . any decent health professional would probably be concerned with me doing most of these things right now. Yolo, right? . vid 1️⃣ recap : psyching myself up to do what i'm about to do, my attempt at a jog because i have this overwhelming urge to run, little foot shuffle, mini squats, backwards monster walks, the best squats i've done in a year+, scaring the heck out of a pup while trying to jump without having something to grab if i fall, and my second day trying to do a modified burpee. [spoiler: i messed it up right away and don't know how to hide my embarrassment] . vid 2️⃣ recap : massive struggles trying to fix myself, just giving up and showing you how i stand up now, and a real attempt at another burpee [i fell again lol], struggling, compensating, and YAY I FINALLY DID IT! #burpeesforever . #thegrindneverstops #bettereveryday . . . #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife #craighospital #chickswithsticks #keeponkeepinon #neverstopplaying #justgottagetthroughit #vulnerabilityisstrength #disabledandcute

day 354 : i interrupt your insta-feed to bring you two minutes of ridiculous antics that come with doing something for the first time. . find more ways to move. find more ways to play. #movementiseverything . awkward finger dance (just for you @addymariewillis) and makeshift curtsy at the end! . thanks @silaswade for 📸 and making sure 💡 was on point. . . . #hulahoop #newthings #firsttimeforeverything #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife #craighospital

day 249 : bum foot ain’t gonna stop my from trying new things. . i find jumping fascinating. i can’t quite figure out how to get the power behind it, but this was the first attempt at a jump. second was WAY more successful. . don’t mind my gimp bum foot walk, and also almost falling. i’ll catch myself at important times like this, but not when i’m doing silly things like locking a door or walking to a bathroom. 😩 . . . #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife