I have cried for months, brother. I had to learn how to breath again. Faced with the phenomenon of ones surrender to disbelief - inability and refusal to accept that what was happening inside of me was true or real - I ran.
I ran with my feet not touching the ground. I have ran with my eyes closed, spreading evenly amongst those fears that chased me. I have cried for months, brother.. and I have been through this before.
So there I was... Rebelled, lost and tired. I ran until I stopped. Not being present felt meaningless, destructive and causing great and irreparable damage. I held my breath almost torn and misguided. The truth is, I do not think like others, now this is comfortable, and this is present. I am learning myself.
Sincerely hoping that all you are going through - people you get to meet, places you get to see, experience that you carry, laughter that fills your soul, music that brings the tears of joy, sadness that inspires you in a moment - has the effect on you. That you flourish in the time of night and get good rest in the time of day.
I miss you more than I thought I could.
Listening to : radiohead - codex