4 burgers.

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4 burgers.

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OMG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 he looks so stupid lookat him <3
'too much but not enough'
Im tired of never feeling like I'm enough. I know who I am. I know what I bring to the table. And yet somehow I'm always either "too much" or "not enough" for the people around me.
I know what I look like. I know what I do for work. I know I don't fit the mould of what's considered "normal". I have tattoos. Im alternative. Im different. And I've learned from some people, different automatically means wrong.
But my job doesn't define my worth. The way I look doesn't determine my value. None of it makes me less deserving of love, respect, or basic human decency. I give deeply. I love hard. I would do anything for the people I care about, yet so often, that same energy is never returned.
Ive spent for so long learning to love who I am. To stand confidently in my own skin. But when you're constantly made to feel like you're too loud, too much, or somehow not enough, it starts to wear you down. Slowly, quietly, you begin to question the very things you once loved about yourself.
And the hardest part.. not hating who I am, but feeling like the world is trying to teach me to.
maybe I really am "disgusting' and 'unworthy'.
Going to get SKINNY!!
So today is day one of my weight loss journey to hopefully be thin enough for my husband. I weighed 183.1 pounds yesterday and today I weighed 181.1 pounds! January nd 2025 I weighed 197.2 my goal is to be be 167.2 on January 2nd 2026 so that will be 30 pounds less. Also I haven't been under 170lbs in probably 3 years. And I know its only 8:35am but I haven't eaten anything yet today. So far what I have consumed:
1 Celsius energy drink- 0 calories
1 Neotein protein drink mix- 15 calories
I am hopeful I can make it till at least 11am without eating anything.
I will say that my husband stayed up last night and cleaned the kitchen so I wouldn't have to when I got up this morning. It was so nice because I was able to shower and wash my hair!!
there is a need for significant reform
it is not enough

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Have you ever been told you need to just get a life? Do you ever wonder if you're enough? If the choices you've made, the race you've tried
Friends
I wish I had a friend, like the friend everyone has, the friend you go to when you're screaming and need a way out, one that always includes you, calls you, checks in and almost idolizes you to other people. I want to feel special I want to feel like someone actually cares, when I look at my phone I know no one does and maybe that's what I chose, and I hate that I did that to myself because I will never feel enough for anyone or anything, I will never feel smart enough to do anything I want to put my mind to because I know it will fail and I know I will cry when it all comes down, I wish I was the kind of person that has people but I'm not and it makes me wonder why I even try