#notebook writings

You don’t see the silent tears falling from my heart,

Worn on my sleeve, I’m not even looking for love.

Like various shades of gray,

Counting the back and forth words that were said,

One, two, I’m back to you.

Three, four, you’re at the door,

Five, six, you’re back again,

Seven, eight, let me get this straight,

Nine, ten, here we go again.

All I see are your eyes, those eyes,

The ones I get lost in every time,

I’m hooked like a fish on your line,

I rip my heart out for you.

You knew I was weak, and you still said you loved me.

And now, I’m hitting the ground and it looks so different from the last time,

I finally know who you are.

This is me, on the outside, looking in on what we used to be.

My fairytale has faded into a shade of darkness,

How did I let this fall to pieces?

I’m now screaming from hell, can you hear me in heaven?

Fallen from the tree of life,

I am lost in a world of stereotypes.

Walking in silence, with you by my side.

My time has been spent on other people’s thoughts.

Tearing myself apart, limb by limb, and part by part.

But you left me with questions unanswered.

Your words are deep,

Like a dreamland colliding with hell,

You have me under a spell.

Break down my wall and see beyond it,

I’ll let you in, I promise.

Hold me tight, and everything will be alright.

The feeling sweeps over me again,

It’s 4am, and I am going out of my way to impress you.

Reflect like a broken mirror, back on what I said,

Is it love or lust?

I never know with you,

Still I am, wanting, reading, knowing baby,

Why is this so complicating?

Someone break this god damn lock,

I can’t do this much longer,

Mixed feelings, mixed emotions.

I am falling for the first time,

I am head over heels for your eyes.

Have you ever felt the way I do?

Only time will tell,

That is what they all say,

Run to catch up.