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I want to get serious on this, I want to learn, I want to enjoy it, I want to be professional because I don’t want to be stuck on a thing and try another one and then being stuck again and again and again.
It’s hard, I know. It needs process, I know. I just want to remove, delete, erase my fear. I’m trying to be confident, I know I can, I just haven’t tried yet and now I want to try it AGAIN..
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No matter how hard i try I can't accept myself...
I'm usually a semi positive person but today I just don't think i can do it. I went to the bar the other day and this guy taps me on the shoulder. I thought finally a guy is going to talk to me and what did he say? He says "tell your friend i said hi" really? i got a little sassy with him and just said tell her yourself and ignored him. I just can't but feel that there is something wring with me. I'm 21 never been kissed never been in a relationship and never had sex. What am i doing wrong? like is it because I'm fat? but some guys do like big girls. is it because I'm like not huge but not skinny and guys only like huge or skinny girls? As much as i would like to i just can't seem to accept myself. Somedays i feel like i look good and then I'm like wait no i don't I'm hideous. I just can't seem to accept myself no matter how hard i try…but who really cares.
... #notconfident at all
I used to be so confident and happy with my appearance. Yet now, I'm not. I'm always at the gym working out. I hardly allow myself a regular amount of food in a day. I don't like half my clothes. I never wear makeup now due to work and not doing much of anything on the weekends, or seeing anyone of importance. I dunno.
