LIBERATION.

There was so much freedom this past week in Nicaragua. The sick were liberated from their illness. People were liberated from addictions, from strongholds. People who were possessed were liberated from their demons. Nicaragua has been liberated from its reputation. Thousands of people across the nation found freedom someway. Not only were Nicaraguans changed but so was every missionary, including myself.

To recap, before coming on this trip I felt incredibly inadequate. I was experiencing mind battles daily. There was so much on my mind that it felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. This week, God wiped everything away. This week, I felt liberated from the past, from my insecurities, from weight I didn’t need to carry. I have never felt so much joy in my life. I have never felt more free. I danced like never before. I sang like never before. God used me like never before. What happened on this trip for me was completely unexpected.

I never realized I was living like the Amy before she got freed from depression, before God took control of her life. The depression was gone but not the anxiety. The mind battles were present. I still lived with certain labels on myself. God revealed Himself like never before. He revealed Himself as King. I was praying God would make Himself King over all of Nicaragua but I wasn’t letting Him be King over every area of my life! I wasn’t letting Him be the King of my thoughts. So He broke me.

He broke me to remove every weight, every label, every doubt, every insecurity. He removed the old me. Now I freely walk as the Amy God designed me to be. I am a whole new person. This person was waiting to come out, waiting to shine completely. It started with realizing who my God is. My God is freedom. My God is healing. My God is love. My God is peace. My God is joy. My God is compassionate. My God is good. My God is mighty. My God is King.

I leave on a missions trip this Friday. I get to spend an entire week in Nicaragua. I have the opportunity to share the love of God in schools, share my testimony at a women’s conference, and simply witness God move mightily over an entire nation.. and I know He’s going to do more than I can fathom.

I’m sure everyone who has helped put this trip together feels the momentum building and everything shifting supernaturally. I am convinced that even the devil knows that he is about to get the biggest punch to his face by God. I think he has been so aware of it that he sent his little minions to mess with me in this last month because it has been extremely difficult to focus on this trip.

I have been so scared and feeling extremely inadequate to go on this trip. People have been talking about how God chose each person going from the beginning to be there. That has not fully sunken in. It is hard to believe that I was meant to be there. Believers in Nicaragua have been praying for their nation for such a long time. It’s hard to even entertain the thought that God called me out of so many people to go on this trip; that I was chosen with a purpose.

I devalue myself so much and when I tell God how little I feel, He says the most amazing things to make me feel opposite. The way He sees me is a hundred times greater than how I see myself, especially when I lose my focus. Recently the devil has tried to take away God’s words of affirmation by filling my head with lies. I cried out to God telling Him that I didn’t feel good enough, that I felt like I was nothing. He came and wiped away every tear and just reaffirmed my worth. He told me I was good enough. He told me that He loves me. He told me I was going to be the tallest person when I walk into a room. He said the atmosphere would shift everywhere I went. He said my testimony was going to be used so that others may find healing. He called me a world changer.

It’s revolutionary when we begin to see ourselves the way God sees us, which happens when we fix our focus on Him. There is such a confidence gained. A whole new level of peace. Fear is removed because you are so aware of God’s love for you and there is no room for fear in love. The devil will do anything to take that away from us. The devil is afraid of us knowing who we are in Christ, and will get us so distracted from God. It took a reminder from my little sister to regain my focus.

The devil has nothing on me. I may not feel ready, but God is calling me. God only needed my yes, and I have already given that to Him. I am clothed with strength and dignity, and I can laugh without fear of the future. I can laugh off any insecurities the devil tries to throw at me because those are lies. I am worthy. I am not facing Nicaragua or anything else alone. God is with me. He goes before me. He meets me where I lack. He would not be God if I could do it on my own strength. Instead I have been given the incredible option to run to Him and seek His strength and His help. I can do all things, everything and anything, through Christ who gives me strength. I am so ecstatic to report back all the wonderful things God did in Nicaragua!!