#not supporting

Silco awoke to the sound of a door shutting gently. He glanced around sleepily for any sign of another person within the vicinity. The room was empty, save for the small figure laying on his chest. The girl was snoring softly, mouth open slightly as a bit of drool formed under her cheek. Silco grimaced at the sight of it, he was really in need of a new outfit after last night, the drool being the cherry on top. 

Slowly he shifted them into a sitting position. 

Jinx stirred a bit from the motion but remained asleep after a moment. Silco let out a tired sigh. He wasn’t stuck per-say, he could easily remove the child, but that would mean waking her and dislodging her form him. Both options seemed to sour him. 

Looking about the room helplessly he considered the time, he wasn’t on any real schedule, not until this evening, and it certainly wasn’t that late. His internal clock estimating it was sometime mid morning. Sighing again, he relaxed back into the chair, deciding they could both do with a little more rest. His body still ached but for the most part he was comfortable, his back surprisingly not hurting from the position in which they slept. 

He brought his arms up around the child again as he rested his head back, eye closing as he mused over what needed to get done that day. He began making a list. 

Without thinking he gently rubbed the child’s back and after a moment she gave a little stretch. Silco paused to look down at her, the act reminding him very much of a cat. Blearily the girl’s eyes cracked open. They looked at each other. Then she grumpily buried her face. 

Silco smiled amusedly, the child’s actions reflecting his exact thoughts. 

All the same, they couldn’t very well sleep the day away, and now that she was awake he felt less inclined to stay sitting. 

“Good morning.” He gave her shoulder a small pat. She let out a small grumble. 

“What was that?”

She huffed and raised her head. “I said ‘good morning’”

Silco watched as she sat herself up, back propping up against the chair’s armrest. She rubbed groggily at her eyes. He looked her over critically, now more awake and aware than he’d been last night. 

Frowning, he took in the sight of her dirtied clothes, soot and ash from the fire caked on her shirt, arms and hair. Her eyes were still puffy from all the crying, the dried blood under her nose had flaked off a bit and the bruise on her face was turning a nasty purple color. All in all the child looked a mess, and that was putting it politely.  

She was staring back at him now, and judging by her face he guessed he didn’t look too much better either. 

Her stomach growled. 

It was a violent sound and it appeared to startle them both as they looked down at her belly. 

Quickly she wrapped her arms around herself suddenly embarrassed. Silco raised a brow at her. Then he slowly motioned for her to get off of him. Hesitantly she slid off his lap, taking the wool blanket with her as she wrapped her herself in it.

Silco stood, stretching his body out for a moment, then nodded to her. 

“Come. Let’s get something to eat.” 

Jinx seemed to perk up at his words, taking the wool blanket off slowly and placing it on the chair. 

While she did this something had caught his eye. Glancing around the room he saw a small note laying on the far desk that hadn’t been there before. Already scowling he made his way over and picked it up. It read as follows.

“Hey Boss,

Went to round up the lads and let them know the plan for the day, then off to the doc’s. Should regroup after, maybe grab a drink or two and be on our way back. No later than six though, word is Piltover is sending over some enforcers tonight to survey the damage from the explosion last night. I guess there were some similarities from the attack above ground…best to lay low. Also.

Just a quick word of advice, maybe don’t have the kid around when the gang shows up. You’re both cute and all, but I don’t think the sight of you two cuddling is going to raise morale. 

Sevika.”

Silco felt his face heat up. She’d seen them. Lord, he was never going to hear the end of it now. 

She did have a point though. What had he been thinking? Anyone of his lackeys could have walked in on them. He had a reputation to upkeep mind you. He couldn’t be seen being soft with his friend turned enemy’s child. What would they think? God! He could hear the gossip now. They’d think he’d lost his mind for sure, he’d lose their support, their respect. Their fear. 

Angrily he crumpled up the note. 

“Is everything okay?” Jinx asked timidly from behind him. 

Instantly Silco felt some of his rage leave him. Taking a deep breath he tried to rein in his emotions. 

He turned to face her and gave a curt nod then motioned for her to follow him. 

========================================================

He led them through a different door than the ones they’d come through yesterday she noted, quickly following him. She stuck by his side like glue as he took them down several more hall ways, all littered with doors or adjoining rooms. It appeared almost like some kind of old office space. Weird? 

Eventually they stopped outside of a room without a door but rather just an open, arched, entry. Inside it appeared to be a very out of date kitchen but still with all the necessities. Instantly her eyes landed on an encased bowl, the image of pastries peaking through. She ran over. 

“You have sweets!?” 

Silco’s eye followed her but he kept quiet as she quickly tore off the glass top and reaching in she pulled out what looked like a kind of muffin. Shoving almost the entire treat into her mouth Jinx let out a satisfied groan. Silco watched in horror as she proceeded to grab two more of the same and shove those into her mouth as well. For a moment he feared she might choke. 

Humming happily, she looked over at him. “These are amazing.” She mumbled around the food in her mouth. Silco made a disgusted face at her lack of manners. 

Not phased in the least Jinx went to grab a fourth but Silco snatched her hand before it could reach in. 

Frowning, he tried not to let his irritation get to him. He let her go. “Perhaps, maybe start off with something that isn’t going to ruin your diet.” 

She looked back at him in question. “Like what?” 

Silco rolled his eyes and stood up straighter. “How about we start off with something simple. A sandwich.” And as he made his way towards a somewhat stale loaf of bread he didn’t miss the look of pure joy emitting from the small girl. Excitedly she bounded over next to him as he began pulling out a knife to slice the bread with.  

As he made the somewhat basic sandwich; Jinx began chatting quickly. All at once Silco was overwhelmed. He’d thought she was kind of quiet, like him, a bit reclusive maybe, but he was swiftly coming to realize how wrong he’d been. 

“I think I could count on my hands alone how many sandwiches I’ve had in my life, so like, not a lot you know. And it really sucks because they’re always so good, but it’s not like you can really find them down here. Not that it’s anyone’s fault it’s just how things are right? Like the other day I had this amazing sandwich in Piltover-“ She stopped mid sentence as if her own words had burned her. Silco glanced down at her as he put on the finishing touches; another piece of bread. Her story hadn’t surprised him though, he’d heard all about who had caused the most recent ‘attack’ above-ground. 

Her mood instantly switched as she stood there now looking down at the floor as her hands twisted into the bottom of her shirt. 

“I messed that up too.” She said quietly to herself. Silco cocked his head as he listened, his gaze turning questioningly. 

“The sandwich?” He asked playing somewhat dumb. 

Powder’s head raised up, but her gaze kept flickering between him and the floor. Then she let out a deep sigh. 

“No. We were on a mission, we’d gotten a tip about some wealthy inventor, so we figured we’d take a few of his inventions and sell them… Everything was going according to plan until -“ She rubbed tiredly at her face. 

“Until?” He prodded, handing her the finished sandwich. 

“Until the inventor came back. I got scared and I must have dropped one of these - these blue looking balls -it-it’s what caused the explosion, they’re like tiny little bombs. I didn’t know that when I took them. Vi came and found me and then I was running and Mylo and Claggor, we were all running and jumping out the window when the explosion went off!” She was speaking quickly now, her breath coming in ragged pants. “I was so scared, I didn’t know what was happening but we kept running, the enforcers chasing us. We ran all the way back to the Underground. But it didn’t matter they’d seen us, they knew where we were. They sent all those enforcers, they were looking for us, and Vander he-“ She fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face. 

“That was my fault too.” Hiccup. “I thought I could help then, and Vi thought I was ready. But I screwed it up, I lost the stuff we stole because I was too afraid. How could I have thought that I - but Vi was right! I’m not ready, I’m not ever going to be ready, because I’m scared, I’m too afraid…too afraid I’ll mess it all up again.” 

She knelt there, face wet and body shaking, her hands clasping her sandwich sadly. 

Slowly Silco knelt down in front of her. He grabbed the sandwich from her and placed it back on the counter, then he gently held her hands. 

“Jinx.” 

She sniffled. 

“Jinx, if a person were building a house of cards, and another walked in, unknowing of the first person and breezed past accidentally causing the cards to tumble down, who’s to blame.”

Confused she looked at him. “The person who knocked down the cards?”

“Why?”

“Because they knocked it down?”

“But they didn’t know, it was an accident.”

“Yea, but…but they still did it.”

“So an accident is cause for accountability?”

She frowned. “No I - I don’t know.”

“Because if that’s the case, then you must also hold the person who built the house of cards responsible.”

“But they didn’t do anything-“

“Didn’t they?” He narrowed his eyes. “Did they not build in a space that they possibly knew was unstable, perhaps they were in a walkway, perhaps they knew that other person took that same route everyday but they didn’t care. Nor were they considerate to that fact.” 

Powder considered his words. 

“There are two sides to every story Jinx, two sides to every situation and while some may hold more cause then others, everyone is accountable, everyone is responsible for the mess they make.” 

She watched him closely as he continued. 

“So let me ask you, Jinx, who made those blue little bombs, who placed them out, where a child no less, could touch them? Who made a weapon of such destruction without any caution necessary to activate it?”

“…The inventor.”

“Who knocked over the house of cards.” 

She blinked back at him, it all suddenly clicking. 

“It shouldn’t have been built there in the first place.” She said.

He nodded approvingly, “And?”

“And the inventor shouldn’t have made something so dangerous and left it in his home where I found it?” 

“Once more, who knocked over the cards?” He tapped his nose. 

“The one who built it.”

“Yes and who caused the explosion.”

“The inventor!” 

She flung herself onto him, burying her face against his neck. 

He wrapped his arms around her once more. A satisfied smile playing on his face. 

“Yes, the inventor should be held accountable, should be held responsible for his actions, not you Jinx. It was an accident.” 

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He let her calm down in his arms before gently pulling away. He placed a finger under her chin and brought her gaze to meet his. 

“This needs to stop Jinx. You can’t blame yourself for every wrong doing that happens, especially if you didn’t intend for it.” 

She rubbed a hand against her nose, sniffling. 

“There’s far too many things that we do intentionally that we must hold ourselves responsible for. When it rains and it delays you do you blame yourself?”

She shook her head. 

“But if you decide to take a little more time getting ready and that delays you?” 

“I’m to blame.” She said softly 

“Why?” 

“Because I chose to take more time.” She held his stare. 

“Because you intended too.” He nodded in agreement. “Did you intend for any of this to happen?” He motioned around them but he was really hinting at last night. 

“No.”

“Then why blame yourself, why continue to beat yourself uselessly over something neither of us can change Jinx.” 

He watched her look down, eyes considering, thinking, really listening. 

“Would you…if you could change what happened, would you?”

Silco felt himself grow cold, the question catching him off guard. Neither of them had really addressed what had happened last night and now Sevika’s words were coming back to haunt him. 

“…what do you thinks going to happen when she wakes up tomorrow and finally realizes you’re the one who kidnapped her dad? It’s not going to be good.” 

He took in a sharp breath. 

Honesty was always the best course with children wasn’t it? Isn’t that what people said? Hell. He didn’t know.  

“It can’t.” He said, his voice coming out harsher than he intended. “The past can’t be changed, why waste time with ‘what ifs’ when it does more harm than good. The sooner you understand that, the better.” 

Abruptly he stood up, her body sliding to the ground around him. 

She kept her eyes on the floor. Silco looming far above her. Then he snatched her sandwich off the counter and held it out.

“Eat, I have other priorities to attend to today, I can’t waste all my time in the kitchen.”

Stiffly she reached up and took the offered food, head still down.

Silco could tell something had shifted, not just in his mood but in her too. He didn’t like it, they were getting along…alright, he guessed, but this? He felt his frustration rising. 

Folding his arms he waited for her to finish eating. When she was done she slowly got back to her feet, her head finally coming up but her eyes were downcast and her face was wet with fresh tears. 

Oh. 

She’d been silent - a realization that only made the matter worse. Silco wasn’t good with conflicting emotions. Normally he knew what he wanted and that was it. But this. Damn him. Damn her. He shouldn’t be feeling this way, he shouldn’t be getting attach-

No. 

No he wasn’t. He was simply feeling a small bit of empathy, that was it. After all, he wasn’t heartless.  

But he’d made her cry, and that alone was suddenly un-acceptable. 

“Jinx…”

He didn’t know what to say. 

She glanced up at him, eyes brimming with tears, she didn’t appear mad though, if anything she looked scared. 

He unfolded his arms and not sure what else to do in this situation held them out in invitation. 

Instantly she rushed to him, wrapping around him tightly. 

“I’m sorry!” She mumbled against him. 

Silco held her gently, suddenly becoming frustrated with himself. 

“Shh, no more of that.” He said, laying a hand on her head. 

The stayed in the kitchen for a few more minutes, collecting themselves. 

Until Jinx pulled back to look up at him.

“I liked the sandwich you made by the way.” She said softly. 

Silco stared down at her before a surprised chuckle escaped him.

Jinx stared back too before joining in and laughing lightly. 

Getting a hold of himself again, Silco gave her head a small pat. “Come on, I think it’s time we both freshen up a little.” He motioned at the dirt covering her and Jinx nodded in agreement. 

Stepping away he made to head towards the exit, when a small hand gripped his. 

Looking down he saw that she had laced their fingers together and was looking up at him expectantly. 

Not one to deny the child anything thus far he continued on, until a little tug gave him pause. 

“Wait!” She said suddenly, slipping out of his grip and rushing back into the kitchen. A moment later she reappeared. Her hand grasping his and a pastry in the other. Silco didn’t have the heart to tell her no. 

========================================================

They made it back to the room with the cot, Powder glancing around as Silco walked over to the tub/basin. He gave the tap a little kick before kneeling down and twisting the faucet on, water began rushing out. 

He stood back up, holding what appeared to be a bar of soap and towel; he held it out to her. 

Hesitantly she took them. 

They both stood awkwardly for a moment before Silco quickly made his way to the door. “I’ll be back within the hour, don’t leave this room until then, understood?” 

She gave a small nod as he swiftly fled the room. Glancing back down at the tub, Powder made a face as she wasn’t sure just how clean the water really was. 

Oh well, cleaner than her probably. 

Stripping, she tried to brush off as much dirt and grime as she could before stepping into the tub. It wasn’t too cold, but it definitely wasn’t warm either. Shivering sightly she began rubbing the soap all over her, hoping to get out the water as quickly as possible. 

Ten minutes later and Powder was sufficiently feeling much more cleaner and more like herself. She carefully stepped out and wrapped the towel around her. She paused, looking down at her soiled clothing. She really didn’t want to put them back on, but what choice did she have. Shrugging she got redressed. 

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It had taken Silco some twenty minutes to make it to his private quarters as they weren’t really a part of the armory. Sighing as he closed the door to the washroom, an ensuite to his quarters, he rested against the sink. Looking up he met his reflection. 

Dark purple and black bruises stared back at him through the mirror, his neck was littered with them, the clear outline of hands surrounding him. Silco closed his eye, gripping the sink tight as a wave of anger crashed through him.

How Dare He 

How dare he attempt the same crime twice, how dare he think he’d get away with it! How dare-how…how could he? 

They had been friends. Brothers. Soldiers together. 

Silco would have never forgotten what he’d done, but he could have forgiven, if Vander had only said yes, if he’d simply sided with him. He could have prevented this whole mess! 

He spun away from the sink, reaching for anything nearby to toss. His hands landed on the shower’s curtain and in his rage ripped it down, the fabric tearing as it went. 

Breathing heavily Silco stood over his own tub, the sudden feeling of nausea causing him to dry heave. 

His head was pounding. 

Slowly. He slid down to the floor, shifting so that his back was bracing against the tub, he brought his knees up to him. For once feeling small as hot angry tears made their way down his face. 

~

“For the last time, this madness has to stop Silco.”

“We’re so close! Can’t you see, Vander-“

“Can’t you see! Can’t you see what we’ve caused!”

“You’re a fool if you think-“ 

“I’m sorry.”

“…What?”

“I’m sorry, brother.”

He felt strong hands grab him by the shoulder and shove, his entire body crumbling down from the weight. He felt the water crash into his back. 

“I’m sorry but this has to stop.” Vander said over the rushing in his ears. 

“I’m sorry.”