#not rant

So some of you might already know that my birthday is coming. And I am not too keen about it, like as usual. To me it's one of the most depressing days of the year and I don't like to cut cakes or have a good meal and stuff like that. This year is different because the boys are coming back and I have almost forgotten about the day. To me having something to look forward to is enough to be not depressed on the day. And also, I'll be recieving Arirang album during that time period soooooo yeah! But...

Today I recieved not one but two packages from someone. It's from my friend who moved away last year. She sent me a book (by Han Kang, no less!) and a tote and said another package will be delivered tomorrow. It's my early birthday gift! It felt... Unreal to me.

We have been close for more than two years and her moving away left me completely alone. We even kind of fought recently too... So all of these felt like an effort of actually keeping me in her life. This is something very very new. I let people drift away from me because I don't like to become a burden to them. And people drift away too... with no promise or such. When she moved away and got busy, I thought the same thing would happen to our relationship. I thought we'll fade, get busy, and someday become a distant memory to each other.... But this... This feels so good. I'm sorry I'm blubbering. I share my worries here and many of you read and comfort me. So I wanted to share good stuff too.

Thank you if you are reading and feeling good for me. Thank you. 💜

Lort!

I forget sometimes how gender obsessive Tumblr is. I apologize. I correct one person on my gender playfully and I get three instant messages about how horrible the person is for assuming my gender and so one and so forth.....the person I was replying to is perfectly fine. I am not mad at them at all. Seriously, it is fine. Calm down.

Please, remember I am an ancient human being (in my forties) compared to the majority of the people on here. I really don’t get my feelings hurt by people calling me “dude”, “guy”, “man”, “sir” or assuming I am male in any way because I run a comic book based website. I just sometimes like to remind people that, yes, girls can be into a fandom as much as boys can. It’s not because I am sensitive about my pronouns, or I identify in some way that it offends me, it is more I feel like sometimes people need to be reminded that women can do what men can do. More of a representation matter. It is a generation thing. Because of my age, when I was younger, regular girls were NOT into comics. Boys into comics were still “nerds” and “geeks” and that wasn’t a good thing like it is today. Knowing that a lot of the kids on here are being raised by my generation, and are probably getting the “comics are for kids”, “comics are for boys”, and/or “comics are for nerds” rhetoric that my generation was taught, sometimes I like to throw out that I AM female, especially when talking about being an old school fan. Just so younger girls can see that there really are women into comics and you can make it to an old age and still like comics and be perfectly fine. In other words, don’t listen to your parents, they are idiots and a product of their generation. 

Saying all that, I was not offended in any way. It’s not their fault anyway, how the hell are they supposed to know who I am. I have honestly never “introduced” myself on Tumblr, most fans of my site already know I am female, and I honestly don’t see why everyone needs to know all of my business most of the time, but that is part of my generation’s way of thinking also. We didn’t grow up talking genders, sexualities, politics, and so on. That was your business and no one else’s unless it applied in the moment. These days everyone wears their personal information on their sleeve and I have no problem sharing any information about myself, I just never think anyone gives a damn. If it calms you guys and gals down, here it is:

Yes, I am a female, identify as a female, her/she are my pronouns. I am a “tomboy”, make-up/fashion is lost on me (raised by my Father in the Mid-West, that was not important). Asexual (wait to read where I work for the shocker on that). Undrugged ADHD (it’s doable!) I have been running a Gambit based website for 25+ years (lediableblanc.com, remylebeau.com). I am an old school comic/anime fan (Marvel, Gambit, Manga, etc). Sci-fi TV geek (Stargate is my jam). Professional grade gardener (I have more cacti and trees than a garden center) and I specialize in insect and pollinator gardening. Obsessed with REAL history (the things happening right now are even more horrifying if you are a history buff). I have worked within the entertainment retail world all my working life (since 13 years old). Movie stores, anime store, etc. I currently work full time in a sex shop (yep! 17 years of convincing customers I care about sex as much as they do!) and in a comic shop part time. I am Mother to three kitty babies, Bucky, Barton, and Essex, all adopted foundlings. I prefer Vines over TikTok. I hate carrots. I think that is all I got. Boring life.