#not kd

This isn’t really important, not in the grand scheme of things. Just more of a venty thing. Feel free to pass it by.

Anyways, for those of you who don’t know, I’m a pre-t trans boy, who is also panromantic and polysexual. Lots of labels, sure, but it’s how I feel most comfortable identifying. It took me years to find all of it, and many labels in between. I’ll probably change a bit as I get older. Hopefully get on T, marry the man of my dreams, and be happy, trans, and gay. But this post isn’t about the future I want.

You see, I’m from a somewhat accepting community for LGBT people. There are a few trans people, lots of bi people, but not really anything outside of LGBT and pan labels. So, I really should be welcomed, right? No. I feel... trapped by all of this. Because there are people who are so comfortable with themselves in their gender or sexuality while I’m just... here. I know I could scream it in the halls if I wanted to, and I have in the past, but I still feel like I’m not part of them. Especially with both my polysexual and polyarmorus identities.

And when I arrive at school, I get pelted by everyone still calling me by my birth name, using birth pronouns, dividing me based on the fact that I have a chest. It hurts, you know? It really hurts. And I’m too scared to come out, and for what reason? None. There shouldn’t be any. Everyone would accept me but it still feels like I’m trapped by this. I’m so entitled with all of this support but I still feel scared. Most of my friends still see me as my birth gender, my birth name. Funny thing is I prefer Oak over any Kayla or KD or anything like that, even if it is some internet nickname. But it won’t matter, I guess. I’ll just live here until I’m 18 anyways, and then go somewhere else and live.