#not james

BUT, In a scenario where Sirius does get upset by Jegulus, I think it would go like this:

All his life, Sirius was put down by his parents, compared to Regulus. They never stopped talking about his potential, upset that he wasn’t living up to their expectations.

He was the golden child and the scapegoat. The weight of everything was on his shoulders, and Regulus just… got it easier. He didn’t have to work as hard for their approval, but he also didn’t have as much of their esteem. Regulus was in every way a spare. And while Reg resented it because he could never live up to his big brother, Sirius resented it because Reg never got the shit that he did. If Regulus made a mistake, it was just a passing moment. If Sirius made a mistake, it was picked apart and lorded over him.

And when Sirius finally decided he’d had enough and that he wasn’t going to try to impress them anymore, he turned to his brother and asked him to join him. To reject their approval and to actually try to make amends in their relationship. But Regulus was finally getting a bit of glory. Their parents eyes were finally turning from Sirius onto him. So he lorded it over Sirius, seeing it as some kind of victory, neglecting the idea that Sirius was doing it on purpose, and buying his own hype that he’d somehow surpassed his supernova of a brother.

And Sirius would hate it. He would resent Regulus for choosing them and their meaningless approval over him. That he would value such empty praise over his own brother who was there for him more than their parents ever were.

And then BAM Jegulus happens and Sirius’ whole world is spinning out. Because how could James like Regulus? Does James like Regulus more than him? Doesn’t James understand how much Regulus hurt him. Doesn’t James remember holding him every time he cried?? Why on earth would James take Regulus’ side??

Is Sirius going to lose James just like he lost his brother? Will Regulus make it a competition for James’ affections just like he did their parents?? Will he undermine Sirius and James’ relationship at every turn just so he can ostensibly beat Sirius again??

Does Regulus even like James or is this just another one of his bullshit one-sided competitions?? And surely James wouldn’t be foolish enough to fall for it right!? But James is kind, and soft, and trusting. And he doesn’t know Regulus like Sirius does. He didn’t see the little smirks Regulus would give him from behind their mother's back when Sirius was getting screamed at. The same smirk Regulus gives him now behind James’ back after they kiss. And oh god can’t Sirius have ONE THING?! Why must Regulus take everything from him, covet everything good that he manages to carve out for himself.

And oh god now he and Remus are getting along too! What if it isn't enough to just have James? What if Regulus wants to destroy his relationship with Remus too?? And anytime he freaks out about it to his boyfriend, warning him to be careful, pleading for him not to get too close to Regulus, he gets a kiss on the forehead and a soothing 'you're being crazy Pads.' And no one around him is taking his concerns seriously, and they're all looking at him like he's crazy and paranoid but they didn't see the look in Regulus' eyes when he was six and broke Sirius' favourite toy just because he could.

And doesn't Regulus know Sirius would just share it with him, if he asked. If he hadn't made it into a competition between them from the day he was born? Doesn't he know how much Sirius wants to show him?

I'm in love with Lily Evans