#not hip

I'm not *old* but I can tell I'm not...hip? I'll recall a new bit of lingo that I learned and want to use it in conversation or text. But then I'll be worried that I will misuse it or say something inappropriate so I will look it up just in case and it will mean exactly what I thought and not be inappropriate whatsoever and I just...feel old for not knowing. But then again this is something that's happened with more frequency as I've gotten older. So it's not new. Maybe I just have been and will always be old.

Dang dawgs so I️ ended up at a high school party and it’s like these kids were talking Chinese, straight chillin and snapping fatty bowls in their bongs and rocking to their hella tight bumping’ hip hop. I️ mentioned listening to Third Eye Blind and thought I️ was going to get kicked out. I️ guess it’s not hip to ask if anyone needs a napkin while they make s’mores or to play piano. I’m old :(

I just watched The Iron Giant for the first time and all I can say is how DARE they make me feel that way toying with my feelings like that making me cry into a bowl of cereal what gives them the right

I feel like an old man detective when I have to look up slang terms or text talk my friends use. I mean where did they learn this speak? What is this new fangled word play your using all of a sudden? Where did it derive from what? I don’t know !