#northmade

it’s nothing short of terrifying ,   not quite remembering how her mom looked like anymore .   or how her laugh sounded like or the way her voice changed when telling bed time stories .   or the warmth of the hugs she would get from her father .   the big portraits at burghley don’t quite give them justice   :   only gives her a vague idea of how they looked before they died .   not enough to bring back memories .   and sometimes ,   she wonder what they would think ,   if they saw her today .   she didn’t continue the path of becoming a proper lady like most her age ,   fit for the title she carries .   (   it always belonged to her mother anyways ,   she would always be the duchess of burghley .   )   and it’s not something she would ever get used to .   it was her role after coming of age   :   but she didn’t introduce herself that way ,   not if she could help it .   and maybe she gets reminded of it more ,   now .   she is older   &   seeing people with families ,   children the same age as she was when she lost her own family   :   it stings .   something she tries to not think about ,   the grief she didn’t really deal with     .  .  .     ever .    so it comes up at the strangest times .     

                            ‘   revenge  is  one  step   away   from  madness  . . .  ’