#normalife

For future reference: ‘I don’t want to’ means no. ‘I don’t feel up to it’ means no. ‘I don’t feel comfortable doing whatever’ means no, regardless of who is asking.

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aka, here’s a summary of the last two hours—

me: you want me to do you this huge favor at the drop of a hat, after not having said more than five words to me in the past year and like ten in the past decade??? 

them: keeps insisting, knowing I have a track record for saying yes if pressured

me: no. 

Parent: how about you do it as a favor to me?

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...anyway, this is all a long-winded way of me saying that I’ve spent the last two hours writing the single most passive-aggressive thing I have ever put to paper, and still trying to see how many insults and backhanded compliments I can comfortably fit because screw it, if I’m going to be forced into this might as well have some fun with it. 

am I an asshole for doing this? Yes.

Me: *is hella ace with a side of aro*

Like, the idea of human cloning and its role in a telenovela? Come on! We could’ve had a really messed up murder-mystery-thing going on, with actual twins and someone who shares their genetic code. Could’ve had this quickly devolve into a psychological thriller or something, with unintentional identity theft as Character A does his thing and doesn’t realize the migraine he creates as an irresponsible mogul and his artsy twin run around trying to figure out why there’s rumors of them being sighted elsewhere when they’re both going about their business. 

Could’ve had an unintentional case of the Prince and the Pauper, and maybe address matters like class issues and cultural differences.

Instead, we get incredibly flagrant breaches of ethics, convoluted quasi-love triangles, and a lot of people sucking face.

me: no

family member: your mother was in high school when she first—