#normal objects

In season one he asks if she wants to go see a movie with him. Not because he's seen the rest of the show with us and knows all about Will and the Demogorgan and the plans she's been making with Jonathan. Not because he wants everything to go back to normal exactly the way it was for his own benefit. Not because he wants her to just give up on looking for Barb. He asks her because as far as he knows, there's really nothing else they can do. The police investigated and think she ditched town since her car was gone- they also don't know they're in monster mystery.

Doing the occasional normal thing during times of stress or grief IS important. It is. Trust me on this one, I'm in my 30s. And as far as support goes, a movie isn't even a bad idea. Two hours in the dark with someone who cares about you, no need to talk or look at each other or worry about interrupting parents? It's perfect. And even IF Steve was just being 17 about it and hoping it could turn into the other type of movie date, he's already shown he's capable of being told no. He'd get over it.

Nancy isn't being honest with him at this point. She's not staying home to support Mike. She's going monster hunting with Jonathan. But the important part is that Steve- despite being visibly hurt by the rejection -doesn't keep pushing at her. He's trying to be supportive in a way that aligns with the information he knows, even while they're still in a very fresh relationship. That's a hard situation for ANYONE to navigate, let alone a 17ish year old.

But even more importantly, he goes back to check on her later, despite being relentlessly mocked for it. She didn't call like she said she would, she was acting odd, and he was worried. And who knows- maybe given the chance Nancy would have told him the truth, opened up to him a little more and asked for the kind of support she does need right now. We don't get to see him give her actual support because Jonathan is already there, in an absolute gut punch of betrayal.

And of course the most import part of all is that even after the scene in the alley- both of them understandably defensive and destructive and hurt -Steve STILL goes back to try and apologize. First to Jonathan, and then (presumably) to Nancy were it not for the monster mystery finally including Steve in the plot. He's confused and completely overwhelmed, but doing his best. And when it really matters the most, he realizes he was wrong, sets all the events of the last week aside, and picks up the nail bat.

Season two is even uglier. Everything about the Upside down is under strict secrecy, hinted at as early as season 1 with Hopper getting picked up by the government guys and the coverup for Will coming back to life. There will be consequences if they start bringing it up carelessly, so they don't. It's also been nearly a year. Things have settled and started to go back to normal. Nancy DID want to go to the Halloween party. She insists that Jonathan skip out on trick or treating with Will to join them. Her and Steve had costumes planned out. It wasn't something she got pressured into doing for Steve's benefit. She wanted to go. Wanted to worry about things like college and parties and typical teenage drama, even if she's still in part just pretending that everything is fine.

And that's exactly where the conflict starts. Steve stressing about his application essay that is due the next day and forgetting that they have dinner with Barb's parents that night. (And him forgetting is potentially another source of stress if you account for the head trauma he got last year during the fight with Jonathan. It's not canon canon, but definitely could be a factor.)

As important as Barb is to Nancy, Steve never really got to know her. The one time she did hang out with him she was, quite frankly, a bit of a buzzkill. (Which is NOT a mark against her, necessarily. She was trying to be a good friend by keeping Nancy out of a bad situation with a guy she has plenty of reasons not to trust, but Nancy wasn't in a bad situation and didn't need Barb hanging around being so unwilling to participate. Things were tense even before the monster plot showed up, and never got a chance to be rectified).

Steve definitely doesn't know her parents. It's totally understandable for him to not want to go to a dinner with them while he has his own problems to stress about. Nancy even tells him that he doesn't need to go. Granted, it's not entirely sincere, but it does show she's aware this is more her thing than his, and doesn't expect him to prioritize it the same way she does. But she does still want him to be there with her. And Steve shows up for her not only by saying he's considering staying in town another year, but by still going to the dinner.

Unless I missed a line, it's unclear whether this dinner with Barb's parents is a semi regular thing or their first one. (Her mother mentions making the baked ziti that 'they' liked so much, which is likely Nancy and Barb, but could be her and Steve, I guess.) The way they hesitated outside suggests it's the first, but it's also close to the anniversary. Whichever it is, it's definitely a mess. Made worse by Nancy hiding in the bathroom to breakdown- something Steve doesn't get to see, and that she probably had hidden away by the time she came back. That's what Nancy does- why her and Steve are ultimately so incompatible during times of grief. Steve can't help with something he doesn't know about, and he's not the type to go digging when someone says they're fine.

It's not until the scene in the library the next day that he finds out how upset she is. She doesn't even have to tell him- she's visibly not okay, and Steve isn't blind. Mostly he's just confused where all this sudden guilt over Barb is coming from, since it wasn't there before. (In fact it's more Nancy wondering where it's all coming from, feeling extra guilty because she was starting to move on while Barb's parents were still looking for her and hoping she was alive.)

Out of everyone, Steve seems to be the most aware that they're wrapped up in something dangerous- it's why he later helps Dustin with minimal questions asked. The thought of Nancy going public with this- especially with how it seems to come out of nowhere -genuinely scares him. He does his best to validate how she's feeling and be open to her emotionally, but he's also not wrong here. They can't go around telling people the truth because that WILL have consequences. Not just for them, but everyone who was involved with the Upside Down. The boys have the same conflict over Max- Joyce has to hide it from Bob and argues with Hopper about it. It's not just Steve being a dick and not wanting to deal with Nancy's grief. He really tries to reason with her, explain that they need to think about this and be careful with it. Explain that, for the moment, right now, there is nothing they can do.

He even notices that she's truly not ready to listen to him right now. This is where he hits pause on the matter, falls back to his usual strategy of pretending it doesn't exist. It's Halloween. They've had plans for ages now. Why not stick with them just for tonight- just for one more night. He never asks her to give up on the idea entirely. He's not insisting that they go because the party is all he cares about. He acknowledges that it's stupid and not super important, he is SO gentle when he asks her to go. He's aware she's hurting over this- the way he hugs her at the end is definitely a 'I'm not moving until you do even if we're here all day' type hug. Nancy should have said no, but this isn't blaming her any more than it's blaming Steve. Nothing about that scene says he would be upset if she'd said no. He just doesn't want her going public about Barb.

The party, of course, is where they both make horrible choices. Not out of malice or a lack of care for each other, but because they're 'stupid teenagers'. Teenagers dealing with something way out of their depth, WAY beyond the usual high school drama. and handling it poorly becuase they're teenagers. And considering how Nancy was immediately spiteful and dismissive toward him once they got there, there was no way Steve could have made her leave early and changed the way that night ended. There was a brief moment where they both seemed to be having fun, and then all downhill from there.

They never should have gone to the party, period. Even with Nancy agreeing to go- he should have recognized it was a bad idea. He should have kept a better eye on her and not let her get blackout wasted. Shouldn't have left without her under any circumstances, breakup or not. There was plenty of mistakes, but that's kinda the point. And even with the mistakes, he WAS trying. He latched on to the wrong thing in the bathroom- the 'like we're in love' rather than the real issue of Barb, but I can't blame him for that either. Not when he has a whole series long arc about his self worth and lack thereof. Hardly anyone at that age makes rational decisions, but especially not while drunk and hurting from their first real heartbreak. (Granted I'm pretty sure Steve was sober, or close to it, but still)

We never get to find out what Steve would have done after their night of being normal because Nancy dumps him and turns to Jonathan, who she KNOWS will help her get the truth out there. Would Steve have gone with her to see Murray? Maybe, maybe not. We'll never know. But the one thing to keep in mind is that this all happens in ONE DAY. She talks to Barbs parents, goes completely off the rails, decides Steve is bullshit and isn't going to help her because he's too busy pretending everything is okay- all in one day.

Even in a normal, expected death- unless one was already there for a spouse/parent/child/etc -it takes time to get a headstone made and set in place. But in post 'earthquake' Hawkins, with so many funerals that need to be held and so many graves that need to be marked? The same Hawkins where people believe Eddie was the reason behind all of this death and destruction?

You'd better believe they're waiting as long as possible to place a permanent marker over that empty plot with the rest of the Munsons. Hoping the storm would blow over by then and he'd be long forgotten by all but those who care to mourn him.

And here's the thing. If Dustin isn't sharing Eddie's death with the rest of the party, he definitely isn't sharing something as private as a six month delayed funeral. Will and El never met him (plus El is back in hiding). Lucas and Erica are too busy with Max to be bothered with this. Mike wasn't even there, as a form of betrayal. Robin and Nancy barely knew him. Steve hated him. None of them would get it the way Dustin does.

So he doesn't tell anyone. It's just him and Wayne and the guy from the stone company. Maaaybe some sort of religious officiant or the cemetery caretaker. And that's it. Even though you'd better believe the party would have shown up had Dustin simply told them about it. But he didn't. And they weren't there, which only digs the grief in a little deeper.

Here's where it gets into the headcanon proper.

Dustin does tell Steve. Not on purpose. Not directly. But tells him all the same. Because, up to this point, Dustin has been following about the same path as Nancy in s2. Distant, quiet, but pretending everything is fine the best he can. He'd thrown his entire being into crawl planning, figuring out how to build the tracker, working on the walkies to increase their range yet again, and spending endless nights driving aimlessly around town with Steve. Mapping out the grid, identifying potential interference, and pinpointing where the MPs are the most active. They've almost finished their end of the operation. All that's left is helping Robin come up with a code so she can secretly broadcast all the info to everyone at once.

This is where Steve suggests that they head home early, take a break from prepping and have just one night where they hang out and play Nintendo and watch Return of the Jedi now that it's finally out on VHS. What he doesn't realize- or realizes a little too late -is he's repeating the same mistakes he made with Nancy. He doesn't know that this is the day of Eddie's funeral.

No one knows.

And just like Nancy, Dustin doesn't account for the fact that Steve doesn't know this, and isn't trying to distract from in on purpose. What matters is what it feels like, and right now? It feels pretty damn terrible. A horrible reminder that everyone else has moved on and forgotten Eddie, isn't stuck there like he is. (Even if that's not entirely true- that doesn't matter right now). And Dustin just lays into him about it.

Accusing Steve of caring more about things going back to normal than acknowledging what really happens. Being entirely too harsh about it, seemingly out of nowhere. Telling him he can go back to chasing after girls and staring at himself in the mirror and pretending he's better than everyone else, if that's so important to him. But he'll have to do it on his own, becasue there's a funeral he has to get to.

Steve's taken aback because where did this come from?? But he apologizes for not knowing- forgetting? Did he know about this? He really can't remember.

Dustin is quick to correct him. No, he didn't know. No one knows, he never told anyone.

He's even quicker to say that he's not asking Steve to be there. Not in a 'I don't want you there' type way. But in a 'I already decided that YOU wouldn't want to be there (even though I really do want you to go) and I'm going to be nice and let you off the hook before you even see the bait.' It's just enough to tip the balance in his favor, and leave Steve wondering when he started to give the impression that he wouldn't have gone if asked.

Dustin refuses to answer the question of 'do you want me to be there'. Refuses Steve's offer to at least drive him over there and not have to bike from the radio station. Tells him that he should stay and help Robin. And then he leaves.

Robin gets an equally dishonest version of the story as they head over to the highschool to get access to the library. (She's going to use back issues of magazines to make a massive fact database for the code/her radio show , and the school has subscriptions to just about everything and never throws them out). Steve tells her about the funeral, she tells him he needs to go and that's why Dustin told him, specifically. He counters this by saying he knows Dustin and that Dustin doesn't ask for things and doesn't give him the option of saying no. He just tells Steve where to drive.

(Any other day that would have been true. But not today.)

By the time Robin puts her foot down and all but orders him to stop 'helping' her (because he's barely paying attention/only looking at pictures) and to go to the cemetery, 'yes now, yes even if you think he doesn't want you there, go before it it's too late'. Well. He's too late. The stone is set and everyone left already, Dustin included. And no matter how long Steve sits there, thinking maybe he'll come back, Dustin will never know he was there that day.

Things don't drop straight into the animosity of season 5, but they're not the same after this day. There's a resentment building over the fact that Steve, of all people, wasn't there. The quiet distance has become a wall, a shove in the opposite direction. It's anger and arguments that go on for days at a time. Slammed doors and dismissive eye rolls and insults meant to cut deep. And eventually it turns into picking fights with the jocks and flaunting the hellfire shirt and it's starting to look like there's no saving this.

Dustin never sees how often Steve goes to Eddie's grave. Not to visit Eddie, of course. But in the hopes that they'll finally be there at the same time, finally have a chance to make amends and reconnect. Sometimes to pour out some of his own anger about Eddie dying and leaving this whole mess behind. His fears that it can never be fixed.

Dustin doesn't see that he keeps paint thinner in his trunk and cleans off the graffiti whenever he finds some. Doesn't see him leave behind a dice set (a gift from Robin before everything fell apart, in the hopes Steve could quit acting like a divorced dad in an custody battle and maybe give the nerdy dice game (and Eddie) a fair shot) piece by piece every time he visits, as proof that he'd been there. (Robin keeps him stocked once she realizes what he'd been doing, so they never run out.)

It's not until after the final battle that Dustin finally admits how badly he'd wanted Steve to go with him that day. How long he'd waited from him to show up before finally giving up. It's where Steve reveals that he was the one leaving the dice, solving Dustin's own mystery of where they all kept coming from. He kept them, of course. Nearly four sets worth, which Steve just. Does not comprehend. Here he'd thought DnD just took a LOT of dice.