#norcumi

the Kaminoans, upon receiving an order for a massive army, quickly realized that their ability to produce bodies far exceeded their limited ability to train soldiers, even with the hired bounty hunters brought in for the job

so they decided to take a different tactic for fulfilling this order

they would create a more limited number of high-quality, highly-trained symbiotic brain worms, and then mass-produce interchangeable empty human bodies, grown at more than 10x normal speed to adulthood, for those worms to inhabit and control

this way, if a host body got hurt, it would be simple to switch the symbiote into a new one so their investment in that highly trained soldier wouldn't be lost

the host body could even be killed, and the symbiote conveniently retrieved if it exited in time and concealed within the fallen body's helmet for ease of return to their flagship or Kamino for a new empty host, and it only takes a week of training to adjust to the new body, rather than the months for treatment and physical therapy, or Force forbid the years to grow and train a whole new soldier from scratch!

this is of course not what the Jedi ordered, so they cannot be aware of this change in plans; the main contact, however, is informed, as it impacts their contingency plans with the control chips

but since the Jedi cannot find out about this, troopers who don't interact too closely with Jedi are not permitted to personalize their host body's appearance or armor to allow for easy replacement

the commanders and other troopers who do get to personalize themselves because of their close relationship with a Jedi treat that as a badge of honor and work harder than normal to keep their host body alive and intact, because if they have to switch bodies they also have to be transferred to a new battalion as a new shiny, as far from the Jedi who might notice the change as possible

Order 66, however, comes with an especially nasty twist: the clone commander is ordered to fake some sort of health issue requiring resuscitation from their Jedi, and uses that proximity to jump through the mouth to assume control of their traitorous commanding officer's body

By dogmatix, norcumi @norcumii

On Archive of Our Own (account required)

Status: Complete; 99,053 words; sequel last updated Dec 2022; supplemental series

Summary: Jack O'Neill runs into the weirdest snake he's ever met, and that's saying something. Obi-Wan just wants to get his people home.

Soooo I am a full month late for Star Fever, BUT here is the beginning of what I had planned way back when I signed up (before university and concussions made a mess of things :/). I really didn’t want to let May 4th pass without posting something. Now that I have oodles of free time there will hopefully be more drawings.

This one is really more of a study I did to understand Goa’uld physiology a little better. I started off just trying to pin down their approximate size compared to humans (vaguely forearm length?) and then I was thinking about how the Goa’uld/jedi might actually connect to their host’s brainstem. I’m not sure where they would anchor their heads but I kind of assumed at the back of the cerebellum (idk, it regulates your motor movements so it sort of makes sense?). Your spinal cord is so delicate that I’m not sure how they get situated with such limited wiggle room, but it was fun to consider. 

After that I got a little sidetracked for a while- I mean they’re wrapped around the spine?? HOW? Their biochemistry and physiology must be whack to make that possible without hurting their hosts. What is it they secrete that prevents pain in their host before they are attached enough to suppress it “normally”? Do Goa’uld have fused skulls? Maybe they’re 99% cartilage so they can squish themselves into tight spaces inside their hosts, its not like you really have a lot of room in your skull. Do they even enter the skull??? Do they have their own digestive tracts?? They can live outside hosts so probably, but then how do they get nutrients in-host? Is their ability to filter poisons from their hosts purely via the Force or do they have the Goa’uld equivalent of livers and kidneys??? Someone to CT scan a Goa’uld PLEASE. Basically, you can take the scientist out of school but you can’t take the science out of the scientist.

 I was also thinking about Goa’uld skin texture and I know they probably aren’t supposed to be scaly, but I reallyyyy want them to be, so I also made some scale texture with Obi-Wan’s colouring. I do have plans to paint Rex and other human-shaped people, but to be honest I now mostly want to make a spread from a Goa’uld physiology textbook or something (please share your opinions on Goa’uld-host biology with me, nothing would bring me more joy). 

“And what are you supposed to be?” Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi circled his opponent, feeling the heat of the desert burning through the soles of his boots. He’d been spoiling for a fight since his Master had sold him into slavery left him behind on Tatooine in order to take The Boy back to the Temple.

The zabrak in the black robes was unlike any he had seen before. He wondered if the red and black coloring was natural or if it had been tattooed on for dramatic effect. Certainly the sharpened and blackened teeth were a bit over the top. And those robes had to be murder under the twin suns of this godforsaken sandball of a world.

“Nothing to say?” He kept moving, looking for his opening. The zabrak kept pace, turning with him. “Perhaps it’s those teeth of yours. Did you bite your own tongue?”

That earned him a sneer, at least, though he still couldn’t spot any weaknesses in the zabrak’s defense. He couldn’t sense him in the Force, either, just waves of Darkness.

“Or perhaps it’s the heatstroke? Shall I get you a glass of water? They are rather expensive around here, but I suppose needs-”

“Enough with your circumlocution, Jedi!” The zabrak snapped. “Fight me!”

The voice (and the vocabulary) was far more refined than he expected and he almost didn’t get his saber up in time to block the strike aimed at his neck.

“Ah, so you can speak!” Obi-Wan grinned. “And such a lovely voice-” He ducked another blow. “-too!”

The fight began in earnest, leaving him no time to consider how, for just a moment, the hurt and resentment burning inside him had been banked by the sound of that voice. Or how, for the briefest flicker of time, he would have considered setting aside his lightsaber and joining his mysterious opponent, if only he’d been asked.

No, that would come later.

Since I forgot it was supposed to be only three sentences:

“Enough with the circumlocution, Jedi! Fight me!”

I’m going to do this for Kaysh’tayli because I’m still really happy with that fic!

It started with the first line popping into my head, and then I needed to figure out how to make it work (fun fact, this is how a lot of my fics happen).  I loved the idea of Haastal connecting to something larger than himself, especially when it comes to his memory-keeping.  

It felt like such a tragic thing - Haastal is the only one who carries a lot of these memories, his brothers and their stories, and with clones only having a half life, they’re going to die that final death when he passes.

It wasn’t till I was mostly finished with it that I wanted to add more of the supernatural element to it, so I went back to add some details - the description of them looking like a ghost themselves, and them knowing the names of Haastal’s batchmates.  

I left them ambiguous, because in my head, they’re a personification of the Manda itself.  The accent just sort of happened - apparently the Manda has a deep bayou accent?  It just fit.  

@dogmatix @norcumi

Title: Revenge is Sweet

Era: Uh, it’s a heavy AU but it probably takes place in the PT before AotC.

Genre: It’s supposed to be a bit of a comedy but it’s kinda revenge.

World: set in a Stargate/Star Wars Fusion World, based off the world ‘A Star to Steer by’ written by dogmatix and norcumi

Characters: Mace Windu, Juno Seine (OC), OCs, Padme, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Siri

Synopsis: Juno gets revenge on her attacker.

Warnings: A female character recounts a sexual assault in a flippant manner and some women shout out how a male character touched them without permission.

Series: Only if the kind dogmatix and norcumi allow/ask for more.

A/N: Enjoy!

 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 Mace never cared for Senate parties but he understood that the Republic played a vital role in helping keep order and helped protect the freedoms of those that lived within its borders.

 #That’s him.# Juno said with angry disgust. #The man that tried to take liberties with me.#

 Mace focused his gaze on the male human, Senator Dorvin Hordon, that held Juno’s well-earned wrath.

  #Do you want to speak with him?# Mace asked her.

 Almost immediately he was aware of Juno’s emotions and how she wanted to put the piece of trash in his place.

 #Would it be proper for a Jedi Master to do such a thing?# Juno asked, curious.

 Mace allowed his Host to Feel his anger at what that man had tried to do to her. #He violated dozens of laws by disrespecting you and deserves to be made uncomfortable.# Mace said as they started to make their way through the crowded room.

 Juno giggled with some malicious glee.

 “Senator Dorvin Hordon, how is your sector faring?” Mace asked the human male as he came up to the group of politicians. Dorvin Hordon jerked and turned to look at them.

 His eyes widened when he saw them, recognizing Juno as the woman he had tried to sexually assault two days earlier. He still had the scar from where the glass had cut his face.

 “,I uh, Yordan Sector is doing well, we had some unrest but the Prime Minster, Kai Portan, seems to be handling matters just fine.” He said in a rambling manner.

 Mace was content to allow the piece of scum ramble as he and Juno waited for a good opening.

 “Don’t forget to tell the Master Jedi about our upcoming marriage Muja Muffin!” A beautiful human woman in the group said as she excitedly clutched Hordon’s hand.

 #Muja Muffin,# Juno repeated with interest and a small measure of glee.

 Mace wordlessly handed control over to Juno; he knew what she had in mind.

 “You’re so lucky to have snagged such a wonderful speciesism of a human male. Your Muja Muffin is absolutely voracious and couldn’t get enough of me two nights ago; he was a complete animal. He couldn’t keep his hands off my Meilooruns.” Juno said, projecting her voice.

 Smiling, she then lowered her voice conspiratorially. “He even tried to initiate mating while we were dancing and I had to break a bottle of Coreillian Brandy across his face and punch him in the mouth to get his attention. Officers Borg and Goffs were aghast and Captain Pike almost smashed a chair over his head.” Juno said with a giggle.

 Mace forgot that it was possible for emotions to change so fast.

 “You tried to have sex with a Jedi Host?!” The woman screamed. ‘Are you insane!?”

 Juno slid back, letting Mace regained control.

 “I didn’t know she was a Jedi Host.” Hordon said, trying to smooth things over.

 “It doesn’t matter! You were touching another woman in a sexual manner! You told me you got your face injuries because someone didn’t like something you did in the Senate, not because you sexually assaulted a female and she defended herself!” She roared.

 “How many more? How many more women have you done that to?” She demanded.

 “Mila, it was just a one ti-” Hordon bega.

 “He enjoys spending time in the Outlander Club with exotic dancers and loves having his way with them.” A female voice called out from somewhere in the room.

 “He has put his hand on my butt during press conferences, you can see it in a few holo pics.” Another female voices called out.

 Soon more female voices called out their stories.

 “We’re through Dorvin Hordon! I don’t want to hear from you ever again.” Mila shouted.

 #I don’t even feel bad about helping break up their relationship.# Juno said as they walked away.

 #Neither do I.# Mace said as he rejoined his fellow Jedi.

 #She deserves better.# Juno said with a content smile

 “Let me guess: Mila just learned that Dorvin is a perverted being.” Padme asked them once they arrived, a mischievous smile lighting their face.

 Juno smiled pleasantly.

 “What gave it away?” she asked playfully.

 Siri shook her head.

 “He deserves everything coming at him.” She said.

 “Indeed,” Obi-Wan said.

 “Females aren’t toys for males to mess around with.” Juno stated as they watched Security break up the group surrounding Dorvin Hordon.

 “Neither are Sentient Beings for that matter.” Siri stated grumpily.

 “Don’t forget droids.” Anakin chimed in.

 Juno laughed. She thought it was funny that the young Jedi was so interested in droids but if she loved being a female and owning it than she guessed it was only fair for the Jedi to be curious, okay, obsessed with droids. Anakin’s knowledge of droids and mechanical things had been useful on several occasions; just like her ‘Night Flower’ clothes.

 Mace’s commlink chirped and he smoothly retrieved it.

 “Windu,” he said calmly.

 “Heard you and young Juno created a scene you did.” Master Yoda’s voice with some disproval.

 Mace Felt Juno’s mental apology.

 “Yes, Master Yoda, we created a scene.” He admitted. It was worth it though, he had been furious when he learned about the events that had transpired two nights ago but he and the Security Forces hadn’t been able to do much about it because Dorvin had managed to get away from Security via his connections and pretending to be his aide.

 “To the Temple return, disappointed I am.” Yoda said.

 “I will explain things upon my return.” Mace said.

 Yoda hummed before ending the call.

 #It was worth it.# Juno said with conviction.

 #It was worth it.# He repeated.

 “We will see the two of you later.” Mace said with a slight bow to Obi-Wan and Siri and gave a deeper one to Anakin.

 Xxxxxxxxx

 Three months later it was still worth; even if it was all spent scrubbing old mosaics in an old Temple.

 And Juno loved to hear about the legends of the Stargates and the Others that went with the mosaics.

 #Worth it.# Juno whispered as she ran her fingers across an image of a Stargate.

 #Worth it.# Mace repeated as he allowed the memories of his Ancestors to wash over him and the half forgotten memories play for both of them. Memories of the attempted conquest and the shattered Balance after they had driven the Others away.

 #Do you think the Others are still out there; waiting to return via the Stargate?# Juno asked, some fear in her voice.

 #They must be, I just don’t know where they are, but they can’t return because my Ancestors with the help of the ancestors of the other inhabitances of this galaxy buried it on a far-flung world where no one could find it.# He told her comfortingly.

 #May it stay buried and undiscovered.# Juno stated as she turned away and went back to scrubbing.

 #Agreed.# Mace said.

 Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 A/N2: So I know Mace is OCish but hey, if you had someone happy and cheerful and I imagine Juno to be you kinda loosen up and maybe deep down Mace is a prankster but has to hide it behind a stern expression.

The Star Tower of Theed Palace is well named.  With the lights extinguished and the observation switch thrown, the cupola - rendered open to the night sky by the switch - provides a fantastic view of the Naboo constellations.

Obi-Wan needs time to be alone, and to think, so he has come here at an hour when he expects it is unlikely for even the Star Tower to be in use - especially as the city still recovers from the Trade Federation invasion.

He is not alone for long, however.  Distracted as he is, he senses her only moments before she opens the door, letting the soft illumination of the hall without spill inside.

“Master Jedi,” Padmé Amidala says.  She does not wear the clothing or face of the Queen, but instead an elegant crimson robe, damasked with golden leaves.  “I didn’t realize you were here.  I can leave.”

He shakes his head.  “It’s your Palace,” he says.  “Allow me.”

Padmé smiles.  “We’re both too polite to be the one who stays, so clearly our choices are to both leave or both stay.  Which will it be?”

In answer, he retreats from the center of the Star Tower to one of the benches lining its walls, settles himself cross-legged, and nods gratefully to her.

She closes the door behind her, plunging them back into dim starlight.  “I think this is the first time we’ve had any solitude since our hyperspace journey from Coruscant.”

Obi-Wan nods.  “It is.”

Hesitantly, Padmé crosses the room to settle herself next to him on the bench.  “I was - I am - sorry about Master Jinn,” she murmurs.  “He was a good man.”

Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan stills the pain and grief within him.  It takes more effort than he would admit to anyone, even Master Yoda.

“As am I,” he finally says.  “But there is no death.  There is the Force.”

“Small comfort to those of us still here.”  Padmé lays a hand, tentatively, on his shoulder.  He stiffens, then forces himself to relax.  “You’re leaving tomorrow, yes?”

This is safer territory, or so he thinks.  “Yes.  Our ship is scheduled to depart at eleven hundred.”

“I’m going to miss you.”

Startled, he looks at her, her face pale and shadowed in the starlight.  “I’m sorry?”

Padmé looks away, teeth worrying at her lower lip.  “I know your ship leaves tomorrow.  I had told myself that was that.  But now - I mean, you being here -”  She shakes her head.  “Does the Force give people signs, Obi-Wan?”

“Not in the manner I believe you’re suggesting.”  Obi-Wan is no fool; though he respects her privacy and is not making any attempt to read her, he can feel Padmé’s emotional state leaking through the Force, thrumming through him, augmented by the touch of her hand on his shoulder.  She looks up at him, her eyes dark and wide in the dimness and starlight.

He knows what he should do.  He should get up, wish her a good night, and retire to his quarters.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” he asks instead.

“Very much,” she says.

He trails his fingers lightly along the soft line of her jaw, from her ear to her chin, and carefully lifts her face as he lowers his own.  The kiss is gentle at first, perhaps even a little timid, butPadmé leans into him, arms encircling his body, and Obi-Wan lets himself surrender to her urgency.

He knows both of them are being foolish.  Master Yoda would chide him, and he can only imagine what Governor Bibble would say if he saw his Queen here, like this.

AAAHHHHH so sometimes I do complete prompts in my promptedrabbles file, yay. THE LEVERAGE/SW CROSS NOBODY ASKED FOR lol

Based on the Mile High Job

so we’ll call it

Pie in the Sky Job (oh, no, that’s probably bad? ugh idk)