#nonmonogomy

There’s a regular refrain when people post stupid shit in polyamory subreddits and the like that “if you’re not managing monogomy youre certainly not ready for polyamory” and I’m not so sure.

I just think the fucked up shit that happens in monogamy is more socially tolerated than the fucked up shit in polyamory.

When a polyamorous person miscommunicates and someone ends up feeling like shit for an evening because their partner bought someone else home to spend the night, it’s a polyamory issue. Maybe you aren’t “ready” for polyamory.

Let’s address the opposition to Polyamory Jealousy: jealousy happens in all relationships. I’ve discussed this in many posts. It’s about how you deal with it that is important. Stability: 40% of all marriages end in divorce. It is a lot of pressure to expect one person to suit all of your physical, emotional, and intellectual needs for an entire lifetime. Cultural Norms: Why must people yuck…

Polyamory is not automatically “better” than monogamy. It is just a different relationship style that suits some people’s needs “better.” It’s not a question of “better.” Polyamory is breaking free of the assumed monogamish assumption. Polamory opens up discussions about values, capacity, and what works for a set of people. Books by Liz Ellyn where polyamory is challenged:Overruling…

A common misconception is that jealousy is a litmus test of whether or not a person cares deeply for someone else. Compersion is the feeling of seeing your partner happy and content. Choosing compersion over control seems like a kinder and healthier option. Liz Ellyn’s Romance Novels with Real Polyamory:Overruling Judgment MFMDefending Engagement MFMWillful Parties MMF

Polyamorous romances with all the drama of a traditional love story, loaded with spicy scenes, and topped with a ton of complexity to make it all the more interesting. Liz Ellyn’s writing blends sizzling romance with an honest portrayal of consent, boundaries, and ongoing negotiation that parallels real-life polyamorous experiences. Award Winning Romance by Liz Ellyn Bold Polyamory:…

One of the most common questions asked about polyamorous relationships is about the issue of jealousy. Don’t polyamorous people get jealous? Yes, they do. But jealousy also exists in monogamous relationships. In fact, it occurs more often in monogamous relationships than polyamorous ones. Jealousy is actually more destructive in monogamous relationships than polyamorous ones. Looking for more…

Styles of Polyamory Polyamory: Multiple loving partners. Everyone knows and consents. Ethical non-monogamy: Any consensual non-exclusive relationship. Open relationship: Couple allows outside s-xual partners, often remains emotionally exclusive. Monogamish: Mostly monogamous, occasional outside s-xual partners. Polyfidelity: Exclusive commitment within a group. Faithful to several, closed to…