#noni

heathers + assorted posts

summary- noni's been acting really weird lately but when you go to one of his matches he reveals why

warnings-angst

the left side of the stadium goes quiet as liverpool score their 3rd goal tonight. you sit back in your seat and scream internally, frustrated.

you haven't even realised its the end of the match until you see the nearly empty stadium around you, people leaving in huge crowds. 

you slowly get up from your seat feeling the defeat and make your way down the stands to the pitch.

standing there with a cold expression on his face, noni congratulates the opposing players. you wait for him to finish while standing on the side patiently. he walks towards you extremely slowly not even looking at you but decides to glance for a few seconds.

you smile weakly, giving him a look which says 'i'll be proud of you nevertheless' but to your surprise he walks past you... 

without saying a word.

you turn around to see if he looks back, half-expecting him to laugh or come back and tell you it was prank. but all you see is him walking away into the tunnel.

you feel betrayed. forgotten. unwanted.

but you understand why he feels like that. the loss. this match was so important to him, but he lost. you just know he's probably scolding himself for not doing his best. he's like that. all the time.

you should know. you've both been friends for longer than you can remember and you almost always came to show your support for him. but it's been months since you've had a proper chat with him. he always...busy. and when he did interact with you it was always for a short time and not so genuine. you could feel it.

 at first you thought it was because he'd gotten a girlfriend but you checked that off your list quickly as there were no other signs.

ghosting you for days was really not his thing. you keep asking yourself why. 

maybe it was you. something you'd done.

why?

you snap back into reality-taking a deep breath- and walk into the tunnel. he can't avoid you the whole night. you travelled in his car today...

standing outside the changing rooms, you wait for him to come out. palmer walks out followed by marc, levi, cucurella, reece, fofana. the whole team is out and you're still there, waiting, hoping he doesn't just stay there till morning.

you're about to go in when he comes out, his usual cold expression plastered across his face.

"ready to go home?" he says, acting as if he wasn't in there for nearly an hour.

you decide to stay quiet about it and nod silently.

the whole stadium is now completely silent as you both walk out to the parking lot.

the parking lot is even emptier with only one car in sight. 

walking over to the car, you decide to walk in front of him not bothered to keep up with his nonsense anymore.

you're about to reach the car when you feel an hand wrap around your arm. you freeze. look back. prop your head up.

noni is looking back at you. watching you with a different expression now. almost as if he's studying your face intently.

you stay still watching him. waiting for his next move.

"y/n..." he whispers "i-i need to explain...something"

you swallow hardly not wanting to hear this now.

"yes?" you whisper curiously.

he looks in your eyes for an eternity before finally speaking.

"i-i've been holding something back...for the past few months...and it's been killing me"

 you wait.

"i love you y/n....so much" his voice cracks. 

you can hear the raw pain in his voice. your mouth slightly props down. tears are threatening to fall.

"i didn't want to ruin our friendship...i wasn't sure if you wanted it either...but today... i realised how much i hurt you...and how much it hurt me too" he blurts it all out, his hand still clasped around your arm like its meant to be there.

you open your mouth a few times. try to speak. but nothing comes out ... you can't bring yourself to say anything. 

"noni, i..." you take a deep breath "it hurt me so much...these past few months"

tears are now running down your cheeks. he tries to clean them, like he's always done but you flinch back.

he looks at you in shock.

"noni...i might need some time...away from you..." 

he looks hurt. so hurt. but its the best for you. 

and like that you walk away leaving him there. for the silence and the cold and the regret to eat him alive.

a/n-

ended up writing angst 😭