#nonexistencekin

What am I even supposed to say anymore? How do I explain myself to others? I'm terrible at explaining things. Even if I tried, still no one would fully understand. I'll try to explain something right now, I guess. When it comes to how I see myself…

I feel like I'm everything, and everyone. Yet, nothing and no one at the same time. Yet, not at the same time, yet, all at once, and neither, and both, and... I can't even understand it myself. I feel like I am infinite, yet, finite. I am life, I am death. Light, dark. Good, bad. Pure, evil. Love, hate. Peace, chaos. Calm, anxious. Creation, destruction. Beautiful, ugly. Happy, sad. Left, right. Ocean, land. Water, air. Fire, ice. Stone, snow. Nature, humanity. All animals, no animals. All humans, no humans. Man, woman. Both, neither. All life, no life. All death, no death. Eternity, not eternity. Eternal, non-eternal. All time, no time. Existence, non-existence. Existing, not existing. Real, unreal. Alive, unalive. Dead, undead. God, not god. Goddess, not goddess. Supernatural, natural. Mystical, non-mystical. Mythical, non-mythical.Mythological, non-mythological. Divine, infernal. Celestial, cosmical.

I am all opposites, and similarities, and everything in between, and everything surrounding. Yet, neither opposites, nor similarities, nor anything in between, nor everything surrounding. At the same time, yet not at the same time. It feels like all a blur in my head, a fog, a cloud. Yet, clear. It feels like wires tangled and knotted in my mind. Yet, untangled and unknotted.

It feels like my mind is just a cave, and the only hole of an exit is blocked off by one singular ginormous boulder, and a man is trying to get free by going at the rock with a chainsaw, never making any progress. Yet, the cave is empty, and the way is open, boulder pushed to the side, or never existed in the first place. It is all so confusing and complicated and complex. Yet so simple, and easy, and basic.

This is how I can explain what I feel every single second of my existence. I don't I know how to live like this, with myself. I don't know how I feel like this, or why. Sometimes I feel like I'm God and sometimes I feel like he's me. Why do I feel like this, like it's true? Is it true? Am I delusional? Probably both. Probably neither. I am me, yet I am you, yet I am everyone, yet l am everything, yet l am no one, yet l am nothing. I am, and I'm not. The only other way I can explain this is with these three dots lol.

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