#nonbinarystyle

Every time I travel and meet with hotel or resort employees, team members at workshops, or simply local people with whom I come into contact as a customer, guest or tourist, I can't but think about how they will accept me and what I’ll have to face.

After all, people are so different and many of them have never even heard of the existence of non-binary people. For almost all new people I meet on trips, I am the first androgyne in their life. Or at least the first one to introduce myself this way and speak openly on the topic. Each time, they ask lots of questions with genuine interest, without hostility and aggression, about what it means and how to treat me properly. They’re ordinary people who aren’t really passionate about gender issues. However, I’ve never seen any alarm or disgust in their faces. They can’t fully understand me. It’s easier for them to think that I’m a boy. But this is simply because they aren’t used to such concepts and it's still difficult for them to get a hang of the idea and settle into it.

So far, I've only traveled around Ukraine. And I’ve almost never met anyone who would treat me negatively or wouldn’t be ready to work together with me. Maybe I was lucky to only meet nice, calm, friendly people. Perhaps a lot depends on the way you present yourself: how open and self-confident you are, how ready you are to appear and be as friendly as possible, creating a positive image of a sociable person who feels at ease with other people and is not ashamed of being themselves.

I don’t know what they say behind my back. Many of the people I thought were my friends ended up spreading hurtful rumors and accusations once they’ve had a chance to sling mud at me. And seemingly upstanding LGBTIQ+ allies and even activists can do heinous things no matter how positive and nice you act. So, their studied friendliness is no guarantee of sincerity. Therefore, I don’t care so much about what people think or feel about me. They have the right to do this just like any other person. All that matters for me is that their prejudices don't affect affect our cooperation and its results. Let their smiles be fake. Let them get their head full of different ideas and information regarding non-binary people in a month or two. Yet let them not spoil my mood at the moment, let them fulfill their part of the deal, and let us part in good health and with possibly fond memories.

My attire of choice is draping South Indian Sarees, especially Sarees from Tamil Nadu. My affinity towards Sarees stem from the fact that I’m a Lower caste, Tamil, Gender non-binary person who grew up in a patriarchal, sexist, racist and LGBTQIA hating household; where all the women went to bed and got up in Sarees. As a child I would wrap myself in those gorgeous fleets of fabric, until I was too big of a boy to do that. Post colonialism and westernization of South Asia, reserved Sarees to biological women and restricted it to other genders. To many women a Saree became a symbol of confinement but to me it’s freedom. Freedom to embrace the liberty to drape a piece of fabric which is restricted and controlled by patriarchy. By draping a Saree, I challenge the notions of gender, morality, ethics, culture and tradition constructed by upper caste patriarchy and westernization. Most Sarees that I wear are exclusively handwoven and/or printed by artisans and craftspeople. I drape a Saree with the knowledge and the satisfaction that I’ve contributed to nurture the craft.  To me a Saree doesn’t carry a gender, it’s just a piece of beautiful fabric and as a gender non-binary person, I don’t work towards becoming a version of a man or a woman, rather a version of me and my Sarees are a part of me and my identity.

Bio:

Ajayini Sathyan is a Gender non-binary/non-conforming LGBTQIA activist, certified LGBTQIA peer counselor and artist. Ajayini studies Gender and Diversity in Germany and when possible, Ajayini actively represents queer refugees/queer people of color, engage in politicized topics like race, (Neo) colonialism, Critical whiteness, gender and sexuality through the spoken word/poetry, art and conducting interactive lectures, workshops and discussions.

Find Ajayini on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/true.diversity.queer.poc/

https://www.facebook.com/truediversity.Queer.LGBTQI.POC/  

https://www.instagram.com/gender.non.binary.saree.draper/