I'm a pansexual with an angry case of skin hunger, but few friends and people in my life willing to hug/touch in some way. I understand why, everyone has their own individual feelings towards that, but it feels like no one wants hugs or smoochies or cuddles. Not one person. And sometimes, it makes me feel inferior or stupid, because everyone asks why. Whats your end game, is it sex? And it isn't. But it makes me wonder if its some kind of weird, lustful, wrong feeling.
Sorry to hear youāre so down here and now about itā
I imagine the reason your friends say that is because they, themselves, donāt quite understand it. Whether theyāre plain joe average or even touch averse - sometimes itās hard to understand other peopleās motives. Lifeās all about common ground and what it takes to meet people there. Thereās always a bit of give and take. Youāll need patience and understanding to give them patience and understanding about your own problems - try as we might to know one another, nobodyās perfect!
Regardless, I bet your friends love you - distant as they might be. All it takes is a bit of reaching out and communication. āCan I hug you? Iām feeling down.ā āCan we cuddle? I need some good vibes and I feel sad.ā Remember that when they reciprocate what youāre looking for, you need to be able to do the same. Sometimes you canāt always hug; sometimes you canāt always smooch. But all it takes is a little talking and a little work - the grounds of any good relationship.
Believe me, Iām pretty sure theyād be happy to hear you out. And if theyāre not - if they refuse to offer a share of effort and exchange in the relationship - then that doesnāt make them very good friends. If so, Iād recommend broaching the problem with them. If they refuse to acknowledge the problem or improve upon it, thereās a chance your relationship might go south - or even become toxic.
Best of luck! I hope love finds you - even in the ways society neglects to emphasize. And thank you for the ask.