#nonbinary dazai

This is a rendition of this lovely fic by @valleykey ; please go check it out!!

Original below the cut

(T rated, no archive warnings apply) It has 480 words, soukoku, transmasc Chuuya, nonbinary Dazai (or as i like to call it, Theyzai), humor, bantering (i forgot to tag that one on ao3 whoops), an open ending, and a positive pregnancy test

I was talking with a friend the other day and we had this idea of Chuuya using he/they pronouns, so here are my hc’s for it! I’m also including they/them nb Dazai as a little treat

I tried to keep it as wholesome as I could, I’m not the best at angst and there are some struggles that I personally haven’t faced so I don’t feel comfortable writing it! Though, I hope you all enjoy anyway!

TW: Mild swearing, mention of violence (nothing to bad), and mention of suicide (it’s only once, and nothing is in detailed)

Chuuya had always thought he felt comfortable with his gender identity, he never felt that he had anything to feel uncomfortable with

He was aware of his petite figure and more feminine features, and as annoyed as it made him when someone called him “short”, he never got offended when he was mistaken for a girl

Okay, he may have glared or scared off the person that accidentally misgendered him, but that’s only because he had a reputation to uphold as the King of Sheep!

Though despite the way he responded to being mistaken for a girl, he never took it personally.

“I know I look like a girl, and as much as it annoys me there’s no point in wasting the energy on worrying about it.” Chuuya had told Yuan one day when she asked about it after a pedestrian called Chuuya “Ma’am” on accident and he said nothing.

Chuuya always chalked it up to him just being comfortable and confident with his masculinity, so being mistaken as a girl never bothered him

That, or maybe it was the influence of Arahabaki who didn’t care about anything but chaos. What was gender to a literal god?

Though when he joined the Port Mafia, his mindset started to change slowly but surely

It started when Chuuya began his training with Kouyou

“Oh you have such a delicate face!” “If I didn’t know better I would think you were a girl!” “You would look so cute in this!” We’re all things Chuuya heard daily from Kouyou’s girls

The first thing Chuuya was taught was how to play into his femininity; working on being more gentle when needed, allowing himself to be vulnerable during missions, and humbling himself out

He would also spend “bonding time” with Kouyou where she would teach Chuuya how to properly apply makeup, do his hair, etc.

“Why do I have to do this again?” Chuuya had asked while Kouyou was applying a subtle amount of eyeliner to the ginger's eyes.

“To help you get more in touch with your feminine side. You are very lucky to be gifted with such a petite frame and delicate face.” Kouyou stated simply as she finished with the eyeliner, placing the little container and brush onto the vanity table.

Chuuya huffed. It wasn’t the first time he had heard this speech, Kouyou’s girls always fawned over his looks. Of course he didn’t mind the attention, it was something he didn’t get when he was with the sheep, but he could only listen to the same phrases so many times before he lost it.

“With the right training you will probably be able to get farther in undercover jobs than even Dazai.” Kouyou added with a knowing smirk. That’s all Chuuya needed to hear to sit quietly for the rest of his make-up session.

And you know what? Chuuya would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy when Kouyou did his make up.

She always applied just the right amount of blush to make it look natural and not like he was sick (blush was not Chuuya’s strong suit), and he honestly felt more confident with the simple makeup than he honestly would have ever imagined.

And though he still chalked it up to either his own comfort with his masculinity or Arahabaki, Chuuya definitely felt something change in the way he felt about himself, he just didn’t know what yet.

Though makeup and wearing dresses were two completely different things. At first at least.

“No! There is no way in hell that I’m wearing a stupid dress!” Chuuya had yelled as Dazai, Kouyou’s girls, and Kouyou herself tried to convince him to wear the azure dress.

“Oh common hat rack! It’s just for one mission, an hour at most! Maybe two if things go south. Besides you already wear makeup, what's the harm in a dress?” Dazai had said as the brunette inched closer to Chuuya. Chuuya glared at his partner, then the dress, then back at Dazai.

Chuuya was fine with wearing makeup; It made him feel confident. Chuuya was fine with being mistaken as a girl; it had happened so often he didn’t always notice at first. Chuuya was fine with men wearing dresses; it’s their life they can do whatever the hell they want.

What Chuuya wasn’t fine with, or what he thought he wasn’t fine with, was himself wearing a dress. Chuuya had been with the Port Mafia for a year now, and he had discovered a lot about himself. But there was something about the idea of him in a dress that made him...uncomfortable? Or was it scared? Scared that the moment he put on that stupid blue dress, it would confirm something in Chuuya that he wasn’t ready to confirm yet.

“Maybe we should give him some space, Dazai. Let him breathe a little.” Kouyou had suggested noticing the nervousness Chuuya was trying to hide behind his anger.

Chuuya finally let out a defeated sigh and aggressively snatched the dress out of Dazai’s hands.

“Fine I’ll wear the damn dress! But you only get this for an hour. One. Hour.” Chuuya finally huffed as he walked behind the changing screen. He knew he was going to regret this, and it’s not because Dazai would have ample black mail material. He just couldn’t place what it was he was going to regret.

And to Chuuya’s surprise, he didn’t really mind the dress

Dresses weren’t something he would ever wear casually. He found them hard to move in and he hated heels with a burning passion

But wearing one on the occasional undercover mission didn’t result in Chuuya getting goosebumps or having to fight with Dazai about wearing it.

And Chuuya had been right to think it would confirm something in himself, because after the first mission Chuuya began noticing that he didn’t always feel like a guy

Sometimes he felt like he had felt for years. He was fine when someone referred to him with he/him pronouns, or called him ‘sir’

Other days he wouldn’t respond right away when a lower ranking member called him ‘sir’, or he felt weird when someone used masculine pronouns

And most days he just didn’t care all that much. It didn’t matter to him what he was referred to by other members.

Surprisingly Q was the first person Chuuya ever opened up about this too, and eventually they were the first one Chuuya came out to

“Why are you staring at me like that? Do I have something on my face?” Chuuya asked, eyebrow raised as he wiped his face with his napkin.

“You’ve been acting weird lately Chuu.” Q responded matter-of-factly as they played with their food. It was Chuuya’s turn to babysit Q today and he thought taking the 7 year old out to lunch would keep them out of trouble. Though Chuuya felt like now he was the one in trouble.

Ever since that first mission with the dress Chuuya had started to feel different about himself. He had always been so confident in his gender identity, but with the weird feelings he had been getting he wasn’t so sure.

‘Am I really that bad at hiding it?’ Chuuya thought to himself as he swallowed his mouthful of food nervously. He had never opened up about his gender struggles and the fact that a 7 year old could pick up on it made him feel a little nervous.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about kid.” He lied.

“That’s a lie and you know it, Chuu! You’ve been all weird since that undercover mission with the dress!” Q said, pointing an accusing finger at Chuuya. Chuuya had to admit the kid was surprisingly observant, probably from being around Dazai.

“Would you quiet down! The entirety of Yokohama does not need to know about that!” Chuuya hissed. The other occupants of the restaurant glanced their way at the noise but lost interest pretty quickly. They didn’t need to know that the two of them were from the mafia.

“Anyway, what does it matter? It’s not like my work has been impacted-“

“Yet.” Q cut in before Chuuya could finish. They had since forgotten their food and was instead placing all their attention on the ginger.

“Eh?” Was all Chuuya could get out as a response.

“It hasn’t impacted your work yet. But if you keep it bottled up then it’s going to impact more than just your work.” Q said as if it was something any 7 year old would say.

‘When did this kid get so mature?’

“And where did you learn that?” Chuuya asked, an amused and impressed smirk on his face.

“Ane-san! And have you ever heard of something called ‘demiboy’?”

“Eh?”

Yeah, turns out this ‘demiboy’ label Q mentioned actually fit what Chuuya was feeling pretty well.

It wasn’t until he did some research into the term that Chuuya realised the weird feelings he was getting was because he wasn’t as connected to his identity as ‘male’ as he first thought

He had decided to do a little more research into the nonbinary/transgender spectrum and had decided that he related most to demiboy.

He even helped Q realise that they were, in fact, non-binary (Q had never told them their gender, so they always used they/them. Guess it wasn’t a bad thing after all).

Though, while Q liked having the label, they felt it was very fitting, Chuuya did not.

He was fine with trying out he/they pronouns, he felt they fit him much better than just he/him. But what he didn’t like was feeling constricted to just one label

“I don’t need the label, it feels constricting.” Chuuya claimed. He liked the freedom to just exist without a label attached to him.

The second person he came out to was Kouyou while she was getting him ready for an undercover mission.

“Hey, um...Ane-san?” Chuuya had asked sheepishly, breaking the comfortable silence between student and mentor.

“Is something wrong? I’m not brushing too hard am I?” Kouyou asked as she stopped brushing Chuuya’s hair to wait for his response.

“Oh no you’re fine! It’s just...um…” Chuuya paused for a second. This was going to be harder than he thought. As he wracked his brain for the right words he glanced up, seeing Kouyou’s gentle smile in the mirror calming him. She was waiting patiently for him to calm down and find his voice again.

It was a comfort Chuuya didn’t realise he needed. He took a deep breath and tried again.

“Ane-san, can you start using he/they pronouns for me? It’s more comfortable that just he/him.” Chuuya finally got out, nervously glancing at the mirror not sure what to expect.

After a few seconds of silence Kouyou’s smile widened and she ruffled Chuuya’s hair a little.

“Of course, Chuuya. Whatever makes you most comfortable.”

If anyone asks, Chuuya did not tear up. He did not!

Though Dazai did raise a curious eyebrow when Chuuya came walking down the hall, face towards the ceiling

“What’s wrong with you, slug?”

“I got a hair in my eye and I don’t feel like ruining my makeup”

Dazai noticed Chuuya was exceptionally more cooperative than usual that day.

Hell, Chuuya was more cooperative than usual even after the mission.

He didn’t yell at Dazai quite as much, he didn’t nag his partner for their poor living conditions, and it was starting to scare Dazai.

Like legitimately scare Dazai, and the executive didn’t like this new feeling

That day Dazai was determined to get to the bottom of why their chibi was acting so strange!

“Did you finally get yourself a girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Oh I see! A boyfriend then!”

“What!? No you idiot!” Chuuya said with a flushed face.

It had been like this for the past hour. Dazai and Chuuya were spending one of their rare days off in Yokohama’s shopping district. There was no way Chuuya was going to keep allowing Dazai to live like a rat, so he forced his partner to go shopping for apartment supplies.

Better furniture, tables, chairs, cooking supplies, a lamp or two so the apartment wasn’t so dark, etc. Right now they were looking for a desk for Dazai’s room, in the hopes the brunette might actually do their work for once. It was a small hope, but one that was still there.

“Hmm…” Dazai hummed as they sat on one of the chairs, deep in thought. “Oh I know! You finally got your hands on a bottle of that fancy wine you like so much!”

Dazai was very confident in this guess, an expecting gleam in their one visible eye as they waited for Chuuya to answer.

“No-wait actually Ane-san did give me a bottle last week. But why do you care so much? And come help me with this, damn it!” Chuuya said after a moment, dragging Dazai from their perch on the chair. Dazai had been practically interrogating him since they left, and it was getting on Chuuya’s nerves.

“Because you’ve been acting weird and I want to know why! I miss the chibi that would yell and kick at me when I teased him!” Dazai whined as they crossed their arms over their chest. Despite the childish attitude, they were being serious. Chuuya had known Dazai long enough to tell when the brunette was being serious even if they didn’t sound like it.

“Aw I didn’t know you cared so much, mackerel.” Chuuya said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “If you want me to beat your ass so bad then I’ll be happy to.”

“Are you doing okay today sir?” One of the shop clerks asked as she walked up to the mafioso’s with a smile. Though her smile dropped a little when Chuuya didn’t answer right away.

“Sir? Are you alright?” She asked again, this time with a hint of worry. Noticing this, Dazai turned to Chuuya and elbowed him in the side and glanced back at the worker.

When Chuuya finally turned around and noticed the worker, his face flushed a little in embarrassment.

“Oh, yeah, sorry we’re alright.” Chuuya stuttered out with a nervous chuckle. The worker smiled a little at the teens, nodded, and left them to their shopping.

“Chuuya, are you sure you’re okay?” Dazai asked with a hint of concern. Dazai wasn’t sure why they suddenly felt so concerned, but the Chuuya they knew wasn’t so spacey.

It was at that moment that Chuuya remembered; he never told Dazai about his change in pronouns.

Chuuya’s face paled a little at the thought of telling Dazai. How would Dazai react? How would it change the weird friendship they had formed? Would Dazai even respect his pronouns if he told him?

“Chuuya?”

Chuuya had tried his hardest to prolong telling Dazai for as long as he could that he actually forgot that Dazai didn’t know

Though realistically, Chuuya probably figured Dazai had already known. Dazai wasn’t stupid, and they could read Chuuya like an open book

At least that’s what Chuuya told himself to try and persuade himself that he didn’t need to actually tell his partner.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Dazai, their whole partnership was built on their blind trust in each other.

What he was worried about was Dazai not taking him seriously. Dazai had a tendency to joke and laugh things off, and Chuuya didn’t want this to be one of those situations.

‘He has to find out at some point’ Chuuya thought to himself. Keeping secrets from Dazai was a lot harder than it seemed.

So Chuuya took a deep breath and told Dazai, fully prepared for whatever negative reaction he was going to get from Dazai.

What he wasn’t expecting was for the slight guilt in Dazai’s visible eye as they gave their response.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner, Chuuya?”

“W-what?” Was all Chuuya could get out. He was too shocked to form any other response.

‘This was not what I was expecting.’

“You should have told me about this sooner, I would have done better to use your preferred pronouns.” Dazai said, angry at themself for not noticing the signs sooner.

Dazai jokes about a lot of things, but someone’s gender identity and sexual orientation were two things that were off limits. They knew personally how hard it is for some people to just be who they are, they didn’t need to be part of the problem.

It would also be kind of hypocritical since Dazai wasn’t even cis gender; they were nonbinary and used they/them pronouns. Though now that Dazai thought about it, they weren’t even sure if they came out to Chuuya either.

Yeah that was something Chuuya was not expecting to come out of his partner's mouth.

Though he honestly wasn’t sure specifically what to expect anyway. Even after a year of working together, Dazai was still a mystery to Chuuya

“You’re not mad or going to laugh or do anything?”

“Wait is that why you never said anything? Chuuya this is a really hard thing for some people to open up about, I would never laugh at that.”

Chuuya did not start crying in the middle of the store. Mostly because Dazai dragged him to the park instead, for a bit more privacy.

Though he wasn’t crying because he was upset or embarrassed. He was crying because he was relieved that Dazai was so accepting of him

Dazai was probably the one person Chuuya was most worried about coming to. And with Dazai’s acceptance, it felt like a weight had been lifted off Chuuya’s shoulders that he didn’t even know was there.

And Chuuya could finally admit that he felt truly free

They did return to their shopping after Chuuya calmed down, and Dazai even suggested going to one of Chuuya’s favourite restaurants for lunch.

Dazai also used lunch as an opportunity to come out to Chuuya. He felt it was only fair.

“Wait you’re nonbinary?”

“Yeah, that's what I just said, isn't it?” Dazai rolled their eye and took another bite of their sandwich.

“Wait if you’re nonbinary why didn’t you ever correct me when I misgendered you!?” Chuuya almost yelled. They were sitting outside, so he didn’t have to be as careful about the volume of his voice.

Dazai just shrugged in response. They weren’t really sure why they never corrected Chuuya. Maybe Dazai just didn’t care, or maybe they were also secretly worried about how Chuuya would react.

“I suppose it didn’t seem like it mattered. You know me, always trying to find new ways to commit suicide, so I guess I didn’t feel the need to put the energy into correcting you.” Dazai finally said nonchalantly.

Chuuya sat in silence for a moment before chuckling to himself. ‘Classic Dazai. Not sharing important information until the end’

“What’s so funny, slug?”

“Oh nothing! Just thinking that makes three of us who aren’t cis; You, me, and Q.” Chuuya said with a small smile.

“Hmm...Oh! We should start a club!” Dazai exclaimed, hitting their palm with their hand. Chuuya just rolled his eyes and sighed.

Over all, the pair elected this a successful mission. They even planned to start their little club when they got back.

After coming out to Dazai, Chuuya seemed a lot happier. He had been noticeably happier and was working a lot more efficiently.

Mori thought the change was interesting, even thinking about asking Kouyou if she knew what was going on. But in the end he figured if Chuuya was getting work done, he didn’t really care as harsh as it may sound.

Chuuya noticed pretty quickly that Dazai was very adamant about correcting anyone who misgendered Chuuya

Especially on his days were he preferred one pronoun set over the other

“You know it’s fine right? You don’t have to act like you’re gonna kill someone every time they slip up.”

“Yes I do, slug! They’ll never learn if you don’t correct them!”

“Threatening to cut out their tongue is not correcting them Dazai.”

Though in hindsight Chuuya shouldn’t have been so surprised. Dazai had done the same thing for Q so why would it be any different for him?

Chuuya did find it funny though that Dazai never corrected anyone on their own pronouns, so Chuuya did it for them

For Chuuya’s birthday, Kouyou gave Chuuya a set of leather bracelets (you know the ones that are like a couple thin strands connected together)

Kouyou explained that they were ‘pronoun bracelets’. Each colour represents which pronouns Chuuya preferred for that day to help the others from accidentally misgendering him

Blue was for he/him, white was for they/them and Grey was for neutral/either pronouns (based off the demiboy flag colours 😌)

Chuuya absolutely adored the bracelets and uses them everyday

He even wears them when he goes undercover. If anyone cared enough to ask, he just said he liked the bracelet. That was usually enough for most people

Chuuya is still oblivious to the fact that Dazai was the one to actually get the bracelets. They just gave them to Kouyou to give to Chuuya for them

After the truce between the Port Mafia and Agency was formed, Chuuya completely forgot that the no one in the Agency knew what his pronouns were

That was until he overheard Dazai absentmindedly correct Atsushi once when he stopped by the office one day.

“When do you think Chuuya-san will get here? He left some stuff here during his last visit.” Atsushi had asked Dazai that morning. Chuuya was supposed to stop by the office to drop off some reports, so Atsushi wanted to make sure the executive picked up the things he forgot.

“They.” Dazai responded with on instinct as they stared at their laptop.

“Huh?”

“They. You said “he left some stuff” but it’s one of the chibi’s they/them days. So what you mean to say is ‘They left some stuff here during their last visit.’” Dazai corrected as if it was something the brunette did every day.

Old habits die hard I suppose

“The chibi can be very particular with their-“ And before Dazai was finished, they received a good smack on the head.

Atsushi yelped in surprise as he noticed the port mafia executive standing behind Dazai, an annoyed look on the ginger's face.

“Would you stop scaring him! This isn’t the Port Mafia you waste of bandages!” Chuuya scolded, putting a hand on their hip and sighing.

“Aw but Chuu, I was only correcting Atsushi so he knew for the future!” Dazai whined from their chair, now rubbing the sore spot from where Chuuya hit the brunette.

“For the last time idiot; Threatening is not the same as correcting!”

“I wasn't threatening Atsushi!”

“So you can look me in the eyes and genuinely tell me that you were not about to say that I would cut out the kids tongue if he misgendered me?” Chuuya asked and watched as Dazai turned around with an innocent smile that they knew all to well was fake, and confidently said;

“I was not going to say that you would cut out Atsushi’s tongue if he misgendered you!”

Chuuya growled as they glared at their partner and ran a hand through their hair. To think Dazai would still be up to their old tricks. Chuuya shouldn’t be surprised.

“You’re such an ass sometimes you know that?” The ginger finally said with an annoyed huff.

Chuuya then glanced towards where Atsushi was standing. The poor kid looked like he was about to pass out; he was shaking slightly, sweat dripped down his face, and he looked like he might cry.

“Hey kid,” Atsushi jumped but nodded. “Forget whatever weird crap Dazai said. I’m not gonna hurt ya’ or anything. It’s not like I ever told you all what my pronouns are, so don’t beat yourself up over it.”

And it seemed that was just the thing Atsushi needed to hear because as soon as Chuuya finished, the weretiger physically relaxed. Atsushi let out a sigh of relief, gave Chuuya a small smile, and apologized.

“Don’t apologize, you didn’t know. Just don’t let this idiot scare you about it.” Chuuya responded, returning Atsushi’s small smile, and then smacking Dazai again.

Chuuya ended up staying at the Agency for an hour longer than planned.

Atsushi was curious about Chuuya’s pronouns, and wanted to know how he would be able to tell which ones he preferred on a specific day

Chuuya was more than happy to explain his pronouns and the bracelets he wore to the Agency members

Though Chuuya noticed Atsushi, Kenji, and Kunikida seemed to have the most slip ups

Kunikida and Atsushi mostly slip up because they forget to look to see which bracelet Chuuya was wearing

Chuuya didn’t mind, it happens every now and again even at the Port Mafia. And they both usually used the right pronouns after their slip up

Though Chuuya once had to spend ten minutes calming down Atsushi after he slipped up and would not stop apologizing.

Kenji on the other hand had some trouble just understanding pronouns in general. He was from the country so it wasn’t something he was exposed to quite as often.

Though luckily for Kenji, he had friends that were more than willing to help him out!

And Chuuya appreciated that Kenji was clearly trying to understand the concept, so a slip up here or there was no big deal to him.

For Chuuya, seeing the people around him actually make an effort to respect his boundaries and pronouns, that’s all that mattered to him.

It made him feel appreciated and wanted for who he was and not for his power which is all he had ever wanted. To be loved, appreciated, and free to just exist as he is.

He just wanted to feel free

Okay so I think this came out really cute! Like I said, I tried to keep it as wholesome as I could. I have a very supportive social circle, so I didn’t feel comfortable trying to write about experiences that I’ve never faced. Though I hope everyone still enjoys my take on He/They Chuuya! And if any of the wording sounds weird please let me know so I can fix it!

Okay so y’all know in Suicide Squad when the Joker asks Harley Quinn if she would live for him?

Yeah, so here’s what I’m thinking,

Dazai and Chuuya have patched things up and have been dating for a good four months. But Chuuya is scared that Dazai will leave him again so he asks them the same question.

Dazai just stares at him, and Chuuya gets a little nervous and hides it by acting irritated. A minute or two pass and Dazai starts laughing and poor Chuuya is thinking their gonna say “no.”

But Dazai stops laughing and has a little smirk on their face and says, “Maybe,” with a shrug. And now Chuuya is somewhat relieved and irritated at the same time, because he knows Dazai won’t give him a serious answer now.