1. “Everyone is a LITTLE BIT GAY” Though you may mean well, chances are your friend has just plucked up all their courage to tell you what’s in their heart. This is a very important moment for them, and diminishing that by saying they *actually* shouldn’t have worried, may make them feel worse for making a big deal out of their coming out. It IS a big deal. And no, not everyone is a *little bit* gay.  2. “You’re into people – not genders” Again, you may mean well, and you may have indeed heard a bi/pan/non-monosexual person express themselves in this way. That’s fine and that’s their prerogative. However, again, it may come across as diminishing the reality of their sexuality – kind of like saying you’re “colour blind” when it comes to race. Being someone that experiences attraction to such different genders is a big deal, or else it wouldn’t be so hard to come out! 3. “So... you’re into threesomes?” NOOOO.... noooo... JUST NO. Most non-monosexual people probably prefer one sexual partner at a time, same as you. And most non-monosexual people prefer monogamy. But even if they don’t, it really has nothing to do with their sexuality – remember that straight or gay people can also be poly. Being poly is perfectly fine, but immediately linking that with being bi/pan/non-monosexual may reinforce negative stereotypes that your friend themselves has internalised – making it harder to accept who they are.  4. Dismiss their label and call them “gay” Some non-monosexual people may not actually mind this, and may even call themselves ‘gay’ – for others it can come across as erasing their identity. Society as a whole is already in a constant state of denying the existence of “grey-zone” sexualities. Please do not contribute to this.  5. Try to set them up with your other queer friend Unless they express an interest in doing so – jesus, no. We are not attracted to every one. And no, we aren’t attracted to YOU, either (probably).  6. “I KNEW IT” You may have had an inkling. But probably it’s better to approach this subject carefully. Most “I knew they were gay” conclusions are drawn by narrowing in on general and hurtful stereotypes – again, please do not contribute to this.  7. And finally, what CAN you say? Commend them for being so brave. Say you are grateful that they trusted you enough to tell them. Say that, no matter whom they will love or how they might feel, you will always be their friend :)

Note: Bisexual+ (Bi+ for short - pronounced “Bi Plus”) is just *shorthand* for ALL Non-Monosexual people inclusive of but not limited to: Bisexual & Biromantic as well as Ambisexual, Flexisexual, Fluid, Heteroflexible & Homoflexible, Multisexual, No Labels, Omnisexual, Pansexual, Polysexual, Pomosexual, SGL (Same-gender Loving), Sapiosexual, Queer-identified, Questioning et al. Additionally the Bisexual+ Community has always/will always include people of ALL genders/gender identification including but not limited to: Androgynous, Cis, Genderqueer, Gender-Nonconforming, Intersex, Nonbinary, Trans, et al.

Eternal love, familial bonds and transformative wisdom to all the bisexuals out here trying to live our best lives, whether we fit their dusty and falsely monolithic stereotypes at times, or nah. We are more of the queer community than anyone else and our expressions of bisexuality are not always going to look or be the same. That's ok. Just know that when the bi+ bat signal goes up and the bat phones ring, whatever your label, or lack thereof, we had better show up and show out. For all of us.

Note:Bisexual+ (Bi+ for short) is just *shorthand* for ALL Non-Monosexual people inclusive of but not limited to: Bisexual & Biromantic as well as Ambisexual, Flexisexual, Fluid, Heteroflexible & Homoflexible, Multisexual, No Labels, Omnisexual, Pansexual, Polysexual, Pomosexual, SGL (Same-gender Loving), Sapiosexual, Queer-identified, Questioning et al. Additionally the Bisexual+ Community has always/will always include people of ALL genders/gender identification including but not limited to: Androgynous, Cis, Genderqueer, Gender-Nonconforming, Intersex, Non-binary, Trans, et al.

Positively Bi+: One day someone pissed me off. So I turned it into a thesis on biphobia.

Ms Candace Bond-Theriault, Esq. from“I'm Proudly Bisexual—and Being Married to a Man Doesn't Change That” in Self Magazine 2 June 2017

Original by Tom Toro, from The New Yorker 2015, rediscovered by Francesca Moderator of NYC's Bi-Perspective discussion & support group