#non system

[Why I dont like the term singlet]

This post is not to say you cant use it, just to explain why we dont use it personally and are actually uncomfortable with it.

Instead of using singlet, we simply refer to non systems as just that.

As a system we would use singlet for ourselves as another use for the term, a non twin.

We were supposed to be born with a twins but werent, and learning this around the same time as learning our mom had a mascairage before our older brother really hurt. we'd grown up with the idea and claiming to have a twin or older sister before we learned this, we always wanted one, we got our younger sister instead and we dont have a good relationship with her. We learned about the fact that we were supposed to have a twin and the our mom had a failed pregnancy with her first child years after our younger sister was adopted. So it hurt a lot.

We still carry a lot of that hurt and it influenced some of our alter relationships. (Those who know the source I used for this blog theme might see that present, as qingmei is a name lady bai, who I see as my older sister both in source and in my system, calls me).

That said we learned we were a system almost 5 years ago now. Much more recent than the other events, and we'd seen singlet be tossed around in the community just as long of not longer.

We did use singlet before, but because of the other use being for a non twin it didnt feel right to keep using the way we did. So we switched to just non system.

Some use the terms singleton or singlit (alternate spelling and slight pronunciation difference) to refer to a non twin instead, we've known singlet as the term for it longer. More often it comes down to what word you've heard growing up.

Another reason we dont use singlet to refer to a non system is because the person who isnt a system might still be a twin and wouldnt appreciate being called a singlet. Just as a system doesnt appreciate being called a singlet because it doesnt describe them.

I've seen it happen before, where a twin has been harrassed and called a singlet in reference to not being a system and people got angry when said person didnt want the term used. (I wont delve further as I'm sure people know who this references and I dont want to bring up someone elses expirience and name if said person wishes not to be brought up. Just trying to be polite while providing an example.)

Its not okay to get upset when people ask you not to use certain terms on them and you cant police what terms people chose to use instead, as in dont get upset if you're asked by that person not to call them a singlet and dont get upset when someone chooses to use a different term like non system instead of singlet.

Theres reasoning behind it.

A lot of words we use in the system community have different meanings outside a system context.

Singlet also refers to clothing for example. It's fine for people to want to use alternatives.

In fact alternatives are encouraged in a lot of cases. Its not something to get upset over.

Endos and supporters dont interact, my content isnt for you.

Feeling (How do I feel when this part of my identity is triggered/present?): Feminine, motherly. Stressed, overworked, yet proud. Nostalgic. Simple, sometimes outwardly calm, internally panicked. Nurturing. Giving. Hard working. Confrontational.

Correlations (What things tend to correlate when this part of myself is present?): 🦆// Birds, flowers, nature, puzzles, indoor labor work, cleaning, cooking, caregiving, stress. Religious undertones.

Quote (What quote(s) resonates with this part of me?): "She gets what she wants because she works for it." "Nobody is coming to save you, get up." "I gave up my life to learn how to save yours."

Music (What music resonates with this part of me?): "Big Girls Don't Cry - Personal [Fergie]" "What Was I Made For? [Billie E]" "When I Grow Up [Matilda]"

Purpose (Does this part of me tend to show up to confront stress, or as a need to de-stress?): Shows up to handle stressors to make self-soothing easier later down the line.