#non disordered

You just want to pathologise what you don't like because you think if they are disorders then you can say "therefore they shouldn't have human rights or be allowed in society, we should kill them all or lock them up far away", which in turn is massively ableist, that's not the response you should produce to seeing disability.

My therapist taught me so much, gave me so much help and so many tools. And now that I'm grown, a solid 20 year old. What used to destroy and hold me down doesn't anymore.

The system is a team, we no longer struggle day to day. It's golden.

The NPD crashing has stopped, we don't experience crashes unless we hit the absolutely lowest points.

The narcissistic parts of us haven't been a problem in years now. We still experience highs, and the core aspects of it, but nothing hindering or awful anymore. It's grand.

We're better, and still have what we were diagnosed with, its just changed and blossomed with us.

We no longer say we are disabled. The only thing that disables us now is our autism, but we've been in therapy and such for how to cope with it's many struggles as well, and we are getting there with it also. We may decide to stop calling our autism disabling as well, though that is a maybe.

We identify as endogenic now just because of our experiences. We are no longer disabled, we do not call ourself disabled. Plus, most of our system is not split from trauma, and our np'd' was not stemmed from trauma.

We are a endogenic system, and an endogenic narcissist.

and is it normal to have a system member be constantly dissociated and makes everyone else dissociated when they front?

thank you sm.

Hey there anon. I'd first like to say that I wouldn't want to judge someone as "good" or "bad" for simply using a coping mechanism that is best for them. A lot of times dissociation can be involuntary too. Furthermore, dissociation is a spectrum, where even singlets dissociate. Because of all these things, I wouldn't say it's bad at all to dissociate, even if you don't call yourself disordered.

About your second question, I would say that there are plenty of systems with members who dissociate, but it probably isn't the healthiest for a system member to be always dissociated. This would of course depend on their experience, like how they feel when dissociated, if they're still able to function daily, how much it interferes with life, etc. I would suggest considering why they think they dissociate and what they are dissociating from. There might be ways to alleviate some of the dissociation through a few changes. Depending on the answer, it might help to talk about this with a professional. Dissociation can help us hide from a lot of problems, and it's important to have a support system and other coping mechanisms if we're trying to avoid dissociating.

๛ we use words weirdly and have some terms we didn't see anyone else use so we want to explain ourselves ☺

๛ ⚠️ this isn't an official definition of any of these terms, this is only what our system uses them to mean to make it easier for us to communicate ⚠️

❀ ¡headmate! - every member of the system is a headmate

❀ ¡alter! - we use this to specifically describe an alteration of an already existing headmate (ex.: multiple fictives of the same character are each other's alters)

❀ ¡ocul! - this is a specific entity within the system, he is half headmate and half database, he is the collective memory or at least the only one who can access it, we don't know much about ocul except that he is extremely helpful. we believe he's similar to a humanized computer program; he might even be our consciousness

❀ ¡null! - the completely first headmate, existing before we started slipping, currently completely inactive, presumed dead/comatose

❀ ¡collective! - a group of headmates and alters fitting specific aesthetic (this sounds very superficial, but we are neurodivergent and express things like feelings and personalities through color and aesthetics)

❀ !realm¡ - our inner space is layered, each layer we refer to as realm; they differ in their style and contents and they contain rooms

❀ ¡room! - a dwelling of a headmate/multiple headmates; can but doesnt have to appear as an actual room

❀ ¡phoenix! - a member that constantly dies and is reborn in a different form; this could also be explained as them going dormant and being replaced by a newly split alter (our definition) of them

❀ ¡original! - a headmate that's not a fictive/was split as an original person