#non binary pride

" to change everything start anywhere"

For queer mentally ill and disabled folks there's a lot of steps before the "start" part and a lot of steps continuing through the "anywhere" part.

Our lives are a form

Or formless

We embody stopping starting engine broken check tire pressure fix rest be drained by rest be drained by work be stuck get moving get stuck again like quicksand the system and our bodies together

We are surviving socioeconomic housed/unhoused arrest,

We are enduring familial racist and classist and ableist and fat phobic and queerphobic abuse under the guise of concern/love but misplaced by hegemonic thinking through fear/adherence to white supremacy and capitalism/institutional neoliberal respectability while the world is on fucking fire

While we are targets for the reactionaries' bullets though the chickens are coming well home to roost for them too as Malcolm X says

fuck dead mouthpieces for the rich

the well beyond elusive notion of this so called country giving us what we truly deserve which isn't fucking crumbs anymore.

We want the whole damn bakery and we want more than a Kropotkin themed Panera. Even the elite knows how to sell us the illusion of polite revolution as submission and no one was ever polite to us

When we are well out of the window of tolerance in danger zone 24/7, subjected to worsening conditions for our comrades, the solidarity we have is precious but it is going to persevere provided we can start with just us. Ourselves. Our self care and community care intertwined.

Our friends we love are taking care of aging family and navigating what it means in the muck

Our friends we love who didn't make it who passed on they should still be here surviving with us

Not a single trans person should have died due to ignorant cis shit society gatekeeping the life well lived

Our jobs are misery. The chronically ill online radical queer folks are creating alive internet while the Eye of Sauron of so called Amerikkka uses the shroud of AI and algorithmic surveillance of our behavior to see what tailored ad we wont hate more.

We know this is societal torture. From the way we fight to get surgery and hormones. To the way we get the pittance of mental health care we so desperately need. Even down to our hunger for a just world when the prices and our disordered eating combined make food further out of reach.

Enough is enough. We deserve to live and love despite the horror of it all. Though my insides rage each day. Though my body fails me. Though I have given on front line and have labored in secret I do not boast of anything.

I have no tools or advice that makes fucking sense when I'm going through that shit with you. Other than for a moment that you might not feel alone. That you might be able to reach out if you need someone's ear. That you might be able to learn to trust the people who care most to help should they come around. And should you be able to self regulate in whatever way is accessible to you to feel safe before you get to the

"Start anywhere"

We should not have to work our own queering disabling bodies into the ground for this crumbling capitalistic system or for the affection of the parents who passed on their trauma to us and failed to give us the tools to guard against the despair around us

As that complicated Christian convert political prisoner ( gay) St. Paul might say

---Amen the boomers have their reward

But as for you siblings in radical love,

Live in glorification of you

Explore your gender

Make bad art

Take from the corporate

Act thine wage and give less to what has taken from us

Render unto your comrades their need as you render your own survival needs

Don't forget water and meds and a snack if you can get them reasonably you or from a friend.

Deliver the food so you can eat in overwhelm if you can afford. Forced frugality is economic torture

Share skills and resources and ears

Make music and merriment. Revolutions include dance parties with your stuffies

Masks keep us and others safe. So do vaccines. -----

I grew up every day having to earn the love of my parents while being berated. Primed for abuse many queer disabled folks are, we don't know a life where we are at the forefront to matter and be seen and loved by others authentically and fully.

This is our chance. This is our starting anywhere. This is your banner drop. This is your mic check. This is our being queer and turning the fucking shit up

I love you non-binary people who don’t “pass”

I love you non-binary people who are scared to come out

I love you non-binary people who are pre/non transitioning