Reflective Thoughts
I know every profession has it’s struggles. I’m fully aware of that. I watched my dad build a business from the bottom up, and my mom work for Boeing. I’ve worked full-time retail, been a full-time camp counselor, I’ve been a full-time nanny, and I’ve been a full-time teacher. I have friends who have been in the military full time, I have friends who have worked as receptionists full time. And I’m very cognizant that every profession has it’s struggles. But as a teacher I think I’m done.
Actually, I know I’m done. It’s October, and I know I’m not coming back to teaching next year. I know that when I went into teaching I wasn’t going into it for the money. But reality hit and I’m still not paying all of my bills. My parents cover my cell phone bill. And I have to regularly ask them for financial help to make ends meet. My rent goes up in December and my student loan payments start. Meaning, I’m going to start working a second job to make ends meet.
I really struggle with the fact that I have a master’s degree and I make less than my friend who works for the post-office with a GED who I also work more hours than. I really struggle with the expectation that I need to work outside of contract hours. I really struggle when I get in trouble for not being able to work outside of contract hours. I really struggle with the fact that parents are so rude to me. There are parents who are supportive but the ones who feel the need and run to your principal because you couldn’t get something done the night before because your home internet was out and they tell your principal how irresponsible you are and how bad of a teacher you are. Those are the ones that make the proportions seem so off.
It’s just frustrating. I wanted to be a teacher, but there are so many variables that tie into the job that I wasn’t prepared for and really couldn’t be prepared for that I absolutely hate. All these variables have made me the unhealthiest I’ve ever been both mentally and physically. I don’t have time to work out and I’m never home until 5-5:30 then in bed by 8:30, that leaves enough time to look over my lessons for the next day, grade a few papers, but not much else after I make dinner and get some chores done. And I just don’t feel like I’ll ever be good enough. I had a parent tell me that I’m not a good teacher because I don’t have the time to tutor her daughter after school three days a week. I just can’t. I feel like the worlds worst teacher because I take things personally and I have a hard time detaching the bullshit from my life.
So I’m trying going to try for something in the university setting, maybe student affairs. I realize my pay will be the same or less, but I will be able to leave my job at the door.
