#nomad fluff

Maybe you shouldn’t have lied saying you were dating a guy for over a year now to your friends. And maybe you should have found some other person to fill in, but the truth was, you didn’t know anyone you could ask other than Doeui. Sure, you hated the fact that he knew almost all your secrets, and there were no fond feelings you kept towards the guy. But he knew your boundaries and respected them, unlike other past ‘friends’. Whatever dirt he had on you, he had enough decency to make sure it never spilled past his lips.

“100,000 won per day. Every time you piss me off, a deduction of 20,000. Okay?”

The corner of his lip jumped up, a self-satisfied smirk taking over his features, “Make it 150,000.”

“Deal.”

God, what had you gotten yourself into?

Although you spent 3 days regretting and dreading your decision, on the first day of the contract, Doeui showed up right on time. Instead of his usual zip-up hoodies and beanies, he had adorned a simple cardigan and jeans. His earrings, rings, and chains were all gone, and even his hair was styled neatly. When you questioned him about it, he just gave you a shrug and a slight smile.

“Thought I could sell the act better if I didn’t look like a jerk.”

“Oh, so you admit that you did before?”

“You hated when I dressed like that, and that’s why I did it.” His eyes stared at you as the words fell from his mouth, and something twisted in your chest at the look he gave you.

Something about hearing that he thought about you enough to know about what would make you pissed and what you liked. As stupid as it sounded, no one had given you that much thought before. Even your friends who you got into this contractional mess for didn’t think about you that much. You knew they weren’t good people to hang around. You knew that deep down, they would drop you in half a second if they got tired of you. But you were scared of losing the only people you had in your life, even if they weren’t truly there for you. You didn’t want to be alone. You didn’t want to feel like an outcast again.  

The meeting with your friends went well. They seemed impressed that you could actually pull someone like Doeui. If they knew you were lying, they would definitely drop you in an instant. It took an uncomfortable amount of convincing for them to believe that he was actually in love with you. Kissing him in front of your friends was awkward. 

Not really the kissing part, but the watching. Something about Doeui’s lips felt right. You wished you didn’t have 5 pairs of watchful eyes on you the entire time. You couldn’t memorize the feeling of his skin when you were so aware of the gazes on you two.

A week went by and the same routine stayed. 150,000 left your bank per day, just as you had promised. Each day, you found yourself trying to delay meeting up with your friends, if only to spend just another few minutes alone with Doeui. It was becoming clearer that something had switched. The man who used to piss you off was the very same one who provided you with any comfort. 

He seemed to catch onto you although you had tried to hide it for a while. And when he asked you to tell him the truth, you found yourself spilling all your feelings without a second thought. Your fears, your doubts, your secrets. He knew them all by the end of it. But unlike your fake friends who would’ve surely laughed in your face, he soothed you with a kiss and promises that you knew held a weight you could rely on.

PARK SANGHA ﾐ CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS

“Remember our first day of middle school?” You ask while staring at the ceiling. The break between each sentence was so quiet you could hear every breath Sangha took. But it was comfortable. Everything felt like home when you were with him.

“Yeah?”

“I was so anxious that you wouldn’t be in the same class section as me. I almost cried looking at the list of names cause I missed yours the first time I looked at it.” You giggled, reminiscing about your childhood.

“You know I’d always find a way to be with you in class.” Sangha stated as a fact, rolling his eyes playfully. He shifted over to his side, cheek squished against the pillow. Your gaze fell to look at him, eyes meeting halfway. You both giggled.

It had been so long since you had a sleepover like this. They were almost every other night during elementary, and still at least once a week during middle school. You were always inseparable. High school was hard on you both, but you got through it together.

“Remember when you forced me to do a scary movie marathon with you on Halloween?” He smiled.

You grinned, “How could I ever forget that? You screamed like a teenage girl and hugged me the entire time.”

“It was scary!”

“It was literally Coraline.” 

“So?! I kept thinking about buttons getting sewn on my eyes.” He shuddered and you let out another laugh, wrapping the blanket tighter over your body. 

It was a bit chilly, and you were ever aware of the heat radiating off of Sangha’s body. It was just slightly too far away for you to benefit from, though. As Sangha continued rambling about horror films and his squeamishness towards the genre, you could only focus on the chill that ran up your spine and how you wish you were wrapped up in his arms instead of the blanket. 

That was weird. You had never wanted to cuddle with Sangha before. Sure, he was your best friend and you loved him, but you barely ever hugged him.

“Are you shivering? I told you to turn up the thermostat.” Sangha laughed, pulling on your arm. “Here, you can leech off of my warmth.”

Your eyes widened as he wrapped his arms around you, the chill immediately fading as you felt his body warmth. You shifted, head resting on his arm like a pillow. His face was close to you, and the blanket comfortably rested over both of you. 

You’d never been this close to him.

“Thanks.” You said quietly, gulping down a nervous lump in your throat. He was so pretty up close. Was he always this pretty?

He was your best friend— you shouldn’t be feeling nervous around him. You grew up with him. But you hadn’t been this close in years, and it was starting to affect you all too quickly. He brushed a strand of hair out of your face, and it had your heart racing a mile a minute.

“Still cold?” 

You shook your head slowly, feeling quite the opposite temperature you had a minute ago. You could feel heat creeping up your neck and spreading to your cheeks. 

“This feels… different.” You mustered your voice, although it still came out in a hesitant whisper.

“Do you not like it?” Sangha questioned, loosening his arms around you.

“No, I like it.” You caught his wrist before he could pull back from you completely, guiding it back to your waist. He breathed out, a smile growing on his lips. 

“I think I like you, you know.” His words were soft and sweet. You could feel the honesty in them. Of course, Sangha would never lie to you. You smiled, and despite your racing heart, you leaned in to press your lips to his. 

It definitely wasn’t what you had originally planned to happen on your first sleepover with your best friend in almost 2 years, but you couldn’t say you were disappointed with the results. He wasn’t just confined to that label anymore either, and now you could proudly call him your boyfriend. 

KIM JIWON ﾐ FALLBACK

Jiwon knew that he was your second choice. Someway or another, there always seemed to be a reason you wouldn’t choose him. He was tired of it. Tired of being thrown around and played with. Tired of being used when you needed it and discarded when you were done. He knew you were bad for him, but he couldn’t find a way to leave you for good.

His heart betrayed him, racing whenever he heard your voice, throwing all logic and sense out the window. He went through the same cycle, convincing himself that he needed to leave you, that you were no good for him. But he always failed. All you had to do was look into his eyes, ask him to stay, and he would. 

It was another one of those nights, where you had crashed at his place after another fight with your ex-boyfriend. You’d probably still choose your ex over him given the choice, wouldn’t you? He wished that he could say he wouldn’t choose staying with you over leaving, but that would be a lie. He was too hung up on the what if’s, dreaming about what could be instead of facing reality. 

He rinsed a washcloth under the sink in the bathroom, making sure the temperature was cold. Wringing it out, he shuffled back to the couch where you were passed out. You had shown up drunk, Jiwon could tell that much, and fell asleep as soon as your head hit the armrest. 

He placed the cool cloth on your forehead, adjusting a blanket over your frame with a sigh. What was he doing? Why was he caring for you so gently when you would just leave him when the morning came? He took a seat on the floor beside you, staring at your sleeping face as a million thoughts ran through his head. The answer to his questions stared right at him. He was still too in love with you to let you go. The pain you made him go through was incomparable to the pain of letting you go. He wasn’t strong enough to live his life without you in it.

God, he knew it sounded beyond pathetic. 

You woke up a few hours later. Your earlier headache from the alcohol had subsided. As you sat up slowly, taking in the sight of Jiwon’s apartment, you felt a pang in your chest. You always ended up here when something went wrong. Because you knew Jiwon would make things feel right again. Deep down, you knew it was wrong for you to keep relying on him. What was he even getting in return? 

“You’re awake.” 

Your eyes flicked up to his frame, standing in the kitchen, filling a glass with water. You forced the lump in your throat down as he walked over to you and gave you the glass.

“I’m sorry.” The words fell from your lips before Jiwon could say anything. You looked up to his face, eyes glossy with regret, “To make you have to work so much— I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to take care of me.”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t.

“He’s not good for you.” Jiwon said, looking at your tired eyes.

“You don’t have to remind me of that.” You whispered quietly, guilt drowning your frame. You sipped the water, trying to ignore the uncomfortable tension that had settled in the room.

“Do you still love him?” 

“I don’t know how to stop loving him.” You said honestly. 

Jiwon's eyes fell. Everything made sense— he understood it all too well. How could he sit there and tell you what to do when he couldn’t even take his own advice? He didn’t know how to stop loving either.

SHIN KANGSU ﾐ RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME

You missed Kangsu. So badly. Every night you spent alone in your bed, surrounded by the empty walls that used to hold memories of him, you missed him more. Your breakup hadn’t ended on bad terms, which, ironically, made everything worse. 

You were just in different stages of life. A relationship wasn’t sustainable in the midst of graduating university and finding your dream career. While you were burdened with the stress of endless choices, Kangsu was struggling with rejection and finding himself. You knew that had you continued your relationship, the turbulence would’ve turned into countless fights and a worse breakup in the end.

But you still believed that Kangsu was the one for you. He felt so right. And you would give anything to have him back now that your life was more stable. You still had his number, although you were afraid to call. You had both promised to cut off contact so you could focus on yourselves. Were you in a good position to ask him to come back? What if he wasn’t ready? What if he didn’t want to? What if he had found someone else?

While you were busy overthinking it, staring at his contact with the old contact photo and heart that you had never deleted from his name, you accidentally pressed the call button. He picked up after the first 2 rings.

“Y/n?”

“Kangsu?” His name felt like deja vu on your tongue. You had repeated it so many times in your head, but saying it out loud brought you back to 3 years ago. 

“Why’d you call?”

You closed your eyes, hearing his soft voice root itself in your head, sure to not leave your mind for the next week. 

“I miss you.” There was no need to lie or pretend like you didn’t. You had always been honest with Kangsu. He never judged you, so there was never a need to conceal yourself or your feelings.

“Really?”

The small lilt in his tone made a flurry of butterflies rush to your stomach. A need to know everything that had happened in his life over the past years invaded your entire body. Before you knew it, you were standing up from your bed and shuffling to put your shoes on.

“Really.”

“Are you free?”

You hummed in affirmation. 

“30 minutes, our spot… Okay?”

“Okay.” You slipped on your coat and opened the front door, hearing similar shuffling from the other side of the phone. You hesitated for a moment, wondering if it would sound too desperate, but in the end you decided you didn’t care. “I need to see you.” 

There was a pause on Kangsu’s end, as he took in the yearning of your voice. “You’ll see me. I’ll be there, I promise.”

The 30 minutes spent getting to the park that you used to spend every evening at with Kangsu was both fast and slow at the same time. Impatient, anxious, worried, bittersweet; you couldn’t place exactly what you were feeling. You wanted to be back in his arms, the place you craved for years after you broke up. 

You found him sitting on the bench you always sat at, staring at the little bridge running over a small pond. When he saw you, he stood up instantly, eyes glued to your figure. 

He looked different. A good different. You could see the confidence in his face and more wisdom in his eyes. He seemed sure of himself just by the way he held his head on his shoulders. You could tell from just a look that the years apart had been well worth it. He had needed it, and now an even better version of him was facing you.

He pulled you into his arms before you could even run to them, and it all felt the same. His arms wrapped around your body, squeezing you gently. Your perfume hitting his nose, intoxicating his brain with everything he missed about you.

“I missed you.” His earnest words flooded your heart and you buried your head into his chest. Right person, right time.

JEONG JUNHO ﾐ ANNOYANCES TO LOVERS

Junho was always like a splinter in your finger, a pebble in your shoe, or a stitch in your side. Annoying, but never harmful enough to do any real damage. You both messed with each other for your own entertainment, only because he was the oldest friend you knew.

He was easy to play bully when you were younger. He was always shorter than you, with a wimpier frame and a squeakier voice. As six year olds, your harmless bickering and teasing never cut too deep. You’d make fun of each other’s toys in elementary school, or your outfits in middle. You groaned in annoyance whenever you were paired together for projects, spending the whole time bickering and ending up getting a low grade for it. 

By high school, you teased each other for getting a low score on a test, competing to see who would place lower in the class ranking (not that either of you were in the running for the top spots). But you both still ended up sitting together in the canteen when you found yourself friendless the first week. Junho was the only familiar person around you, despite the less than friendly dynamic you shared. While you certainly still bickered and annoyed each other, you could barely throw the low blows you used to. 

Puberty had hit Junho like a truck, gracing him with a tall muscular figure, and a much deeper voice. You could truthfully only admire how he had come into his own. But that didn’t mean you would stop getting a reaction out of him, although you couldn’t ignore how a certain fondness was starting to grow in your heart for him.

When you joined the soccer team, he showed up to practice to laugh whenever you tripped over your own two feet, only for him to be the same person to walk you to the nurse’s office. When he joined musical theater, you made fun of him whenever he was off-key, only to bring him flowers after his first show as the lead role. 

Your quick comebacks to his every teasing remark was a sense of familiarity that he didn’t want to lose. When feelings got into the mix with your regular banter was something neither you or Junho could pinpoint. What you did know is at some point, your eye rolls held all the fondness in the world and your playful smacks on the shoulder were a bit softer than usual. At some point, a sense of pride flooded your body when you looked at Junho and his accomplishments, and you started to voice how proud you were of him.

Whether small pats on the shoulder or tousling his hair (if you could reach), the message seemed to get across to him. The boy you had known since you were little had grown into the man you wanted to be beside you for the rest of your life. Him asking you out officially one late night on a walk surprised neither of you. You knew the feelings had been mutual for a while.

The shift to dating was natural as well. Maybe you were both a bit more caring and attentive than before. You were no longer too shy to hold his hand whenever you wanted (nor did you dismiss the thought whenever it came up, under the delusion that you could never like someone as annoying as Junho). He no longer debated whether bending down to kiss you was overstepping the boundaries of friendship (he had long since lost the war of fighting how much he adored you). But poking fun at each other would always be your love language, and that was a reality you were both more than content with. 

park sangha

kim jiwon

shin kangsu

jeong junho

Words sometimes feel so bland when they’re not accompanied by a melody. In many ways, he came to find that that was what you brought to the relationship, a sweet entrancing melody.

It wasn’t imposing, just a subtle sequence of the most beautiful notes. It felt like being lost in a dream, every time he’d set his eyes on you he’d find himself back in that musical paradise. Perhaps it was a spell you had cast on him, one that made everything synthesize with you.

It was always there, from the first time you met on that seemingly unfortunate Sunday morning. The day had yet to begin but it was already going against your favor.

An early morning after an eventful night, making your way home at the peak of the day hoping to stay in your bed for the rest of the day after a good shower. You had it all planned out in your head, but you just had to loose your keys. So you stood there in front of your dorm apartment, head resting against the door, trying to think of a solution but all you could do was doze off.

Once you put yourself to it, it was easy to find the keys. However it wasn’t easy walking all the way back to your friends’ place in the late October rain.

By the time you arrived you were drenched from head to toe, shivering from the autumn chills. You probably couldn’t remember his face when he opened the door to you, a mix of surprise and wonder. “How did you get into such a drastic situation?” was written on his face as he let you into the house, eyes lingering even though he was initially headed out.

Without thinking further about it he followed you in, shutting the door behind him. Your friends must have still been asleep for a stranger to be the one handing you a towel, taking your wet jacket off your body. You tried racking your brain for any memory of his eyes, as yours met his, for less than a second surely but it felt like a moment beyond time. You thought maybe you could remember his hands, that held gently onto you as he sat you down but he was entirely new to you.

Despite the fact that he was unknown to you, every move he made seemed so familiar. There was something so delicate in his allure, you couldn’t help but stare at him as he patted down your wet skin, from your face to your palms.

The feeling was mutual, from the moment he saw you he felt drawn towards you, at first it may have been a friendly gesture but as he got closer the feelings also evolved.

“I feel like you’re going to get sick if you stay in those. I’ll get you some dry clothes from Sangha.” He pulled the corners of the towel on your shoulder, wrapping you in the slight warmth it brought. A smile creeped up on your lips as he turned away walking off to your friend’s room.

It was funny in some way, it felt like he wasn’t supposed to be a stranger to you and yet he was. The more you got to know him the more you hated that he was ever just that.

In that day alone you felt something you had rarely ever felt, even less with a stranger. As you cleaned the house from the damages of the party with the goal of finding your lost keys, you got to know more about him.

“How come we’ve never met?” you looked up at him as you sat on the couch, holding onto the found keys you had been searching for together for the past thirty minutes. He walked over taking a seat beside you, resting his head on the backrest.

“It’s funny right?” He turned over to you with a smile, you felt your heart skip a beat at the sight. Your eyes fluttered as you looked anywhere away from him, you couldn’t even hide your flustered expression as his gaze followed.

Eventually you remembered you needed to get home since you had your keys and so you got up from the couch, blurting out words to excuse yourself without showing that he was the reason you couldn’t stay put.

“I’ll drive you, I have to head out as well.”

So you ended up stuck with him in a car this time, with no emergency exits. He, unlike you enjoyed the feeling you brought him even with the short time you knew each other.

Sitting there in the car with you through the damp roads cleared up the dulled out sound that had been resounding from the moment he opened the door.

It wasn’t a long drive to your place but for some reason it felt longer than walking earlier. You tried to keep your eyes forward towards to road but you never realized when your eyes ended back on him.

In the same way he watched you rest your head on the window, glancing from the road to his side where you were rested. The thought of placing his hand between the glass and your head through the slightly bumpy roads came up often but instead he tightened his grip on the wheel.

Eventually you got to your place, but it was harder to just walk away as you imagined you would do. You sat there for a couple seconds in silence before he spoke up for you.

While you saw the thundering in your heart as a warning sign, he felt it was a song that brought him closer to you, the louder it became the better.

Every step you took together from that morning lead you to this moment where your love for each other exceeds words. Without the melodies those words came with, there was a sort of vacancy waiting to be filled.

It just so happened that every moment spent in your company was the lost symphony that came to fill up all the words spoken. In every glimpse of a wrinkle that came with the bright smile that you wore, a string was plucked resounding an echo of a melodic sequence of notes. Just in that recurring sound he could feel a small buildup, like every fragment of love he had ever felt for you was brought back into his heart.

It always made you laugh, the way your smiles always resulted in a soft kiss. You couldn’t help smiling whenever you were with him, he was one of the only things that felt right in the mess of your life so you’d giggle, grimace, grin, unconsciously waiting for his lips.

The subtle curve that followed the sight of your own, watching him get closer to your face, letting his hands cup your cheeks as he watched your shyness resurface. Shaky eye contact the closer he got till the flutter as your eyes shut close, letting his lips press against yours.

Working with Chris was a mission and a half. Sometimes you wanted to strangle his weirdly thick neck, and the other times you wanted to climb him like a bear on a tree. It want completely a secret, in fact you got constantly teased by your other co-workers, and sometimes Chris as well; he would always find little things amusing like your constant state of blushing, giggles and hair ticks, he found you utterly adorable and cute, and although he never admitted it to anyone he fancied you like hell.

right now, you were busy putting up Christmas decorations, getting ready for your favourite holiday season. The Christmas lights mad the room shine and the fancy decorations and tinsel brought a cosier and home-like feeling to the upbeat bar, and although there wasn't a grand tree in the corner, due to crises near fire hazard mishap last year, there was a small white, shimmering tree on the counter. Your body was leaning against the edge railing of a large step ladder, your arms reaching high above the counter to pin up the string with attacked hooks on to place the Christmas cards the company would receive from regulars and friends.

Meanwhile, Chris was serving at the bar, shamelessly watching your body upright and stretched, your white blouse coming loosed from your black pencil skirt, allowing him to see an inch or so of your waist, which was undoubtedly covered in goosebumps. While Chris' only customer grabbed his drinks and sat with his company, Chris came to the opposite side of the bar, by the side of your ladder, holding onto the frame and looking up at you in awe. The light above coloured your face, and your skin shone, exposing the freckles and light sheen f har around the edge of your hairline and eyebrows, you where too busy to notice Chris staring at you, but as you almost began to lose balance, you felt his large, warm hand grasp your thigh, holding you still. The action nearly made you fall even more, and a loud curse fell from your lips as you braced your body against the nearby pillar.

"Woah Woah Woah, steady there honey," Chris spoke in his godlike silky voice, making your eyes roll. You looked down at him and saw his other hand placed by your foot on the ladder, his other hand still occupied at your thigh, though his grip was a lot less firm and more gentle, giving you a slight tingle.

"Back up cowboy, I'm capable you know, i wasn't the one who set fire to the Christmas tree last year was i?" You retorted, shifting your leg away slight;y, preparing yourself for the wave of coldness that replaced his warm hand. You looked back up to the string, returning to your job as you heard him chuckle below you.

"No, but that doesn't mean you won't fall,"

"Hey, Chris!" Someone shouted both of you looked over to the source, finding your best friend standing in the office doorway watching the escapade between the two of you; leaving a slight heat to form in your cheeks as you once again faced the wall and continued working. Chris saw you blushing, and pent a while smiling at you, captured in his awe before he felt your friend, Venessa, drag him away from you, shouting at you to watch the till.

Chris and Vanessa escaped into the office room, as Vanessa began squealing.

"Tell me you got it!" Venessa said, almost jumping up and down with excitement as she clapped her hands at Chris, her grin as wide as a river.

"Yes yes, now what?" Chris said, reaching his hand into his jean pocket and pulling out the small gift, neatly wrapped and labelled to you. He and Vanessa had been discussing the best way to confess his feelings to you once and for all, and after all Vanessa complicated and quite inappropriate plans and ideas, they had the perfect one.

Chris had searched far and wide for the perfect necklace, knowing that you would only want a small ornament, nothing big and chunky, just neat and simple. A small silver ring with a daisy on top, included with another silver band ring, with an inconspicuous date engraved on the inner side, not too tacky and big, just neat and simple, he had seen your vast collection of different rings and other jewellery types, and with help from Vanessa, she helped pick out the perfect set.

Before you go too suspicious, both of them came out of the office, still whispering and snickering to each other, giving you a nasty jealous pang in the chest. A frown became permanent during your last two hours of the long shift, and although both of them noticed, they didnt act upon it, scared they would blow the secret.

-

3 weeks later and it was your last shift for the Christmas break. For the last weeks, you had frequently seen Vanessa and Chris become close, always chatting in private and winking to each other, they thought you didnt notice, but each time you did, your face fell and our attitude changed; you had managed to keep away from the both, enough to avoid any questions, but your mind felt empty, and you weren't feeling as contempt for the holidays as you used too. As your shift slowly drew to an end, Vanessa had decided to play some slow Christmas music through the jukebox, and whilst you where quietly singing and dancing to 'Baby its cold outside', all the other staff members disappeared, and the room lay empty and dark, the only light coming from the colourful fairy lights planted around the room. You moved from behind the bar into the middle of the room, turning and looking around in sign for anyone, and out the corner of your eyes... Chris.

Dressed up in a horrible Christmas jumper and blue jeans, a red Santa's hat on his head, making his hair flop onto his forehead, reminding you of a hat-wearing jock. You would laugh, but the tone coming from his aura felt uncertain, whilst neither of you spoke a word, Chris began moving in closer, each step making your heart beat a little faster. Your eyes were locked onto his baby blues, and they were so captivating you didnt even notice the small blue wrapped box in his hand, like you, his eyes were glued to yours. Your emotions were running wild, and your heart began thumping in our ears, ow blocking the background music as you were completely and utterly focused on the man in front of you, now only a few inches away as his body towards over yours.

"Y/N," your name fell from his lips, almost making you moan, the effect he had on you was diabolical, and in fact should be considered illegal. H eyes now moved towards his hand, and you followed too, your breath picking up as you aw the blue box. "This -" He said, bringing the box up to your level, "is for you,"

You were left speechless, completely immobile as our brain was raking miles of information a minute. after another name drop from lips, you came back to reality, bringing your shaking hands up to his, opening the blue box and gasping at the contents. The silver rings where so beautiful and the small daisy shone out at you, its silver face reflecting the lights around it, enhancing its beauty. Tears threatened to swell in your eyes as you picked both of the rings up, your mouth agape.

"Chris," You whispered, closely inspecting the gifts, noticing the date engraved, 04.23.17. You looked back at him, about to ask what the significance of the date meant, but he beat you too it, grabbing the rings and holding your hand, placing them gently onto your right ring finger.

"This, is the exact date, that i fell completely in love with everything about you," He said, his voice low and quiet, looking deep into your eyes as once again you were speechless. Chris loved you. What. The. Fuck.

Before any other aspect of your body could react, you threw your arms around his neck and gently placed your lips on his. The tingling from your lips travelled throughout your body, giving you shivers and butterflies; you felt as if you were on fire, your skin hot and flushed and your body pressed against Chris'. His hands slid over your waist, holding your hips as you two gently kissed one another, living in the special, romantic and happy moment; before you where interrupted by a loud sound of cheering and applause from the other side of the room, where all your co-workers stood, with party poppers and whistles, all happy faces looking at you and Chris finally commit yourself to each other.

But even you're not so sure, even when Sangha swears you know everything. From escape routes in the castle to battle strategies, your brain always seems to have the answers. You aren't confined to the same rules Sangha is, and it gives you the freedom of imagination, hope, and creativity. You aren't there just to dress in fancy suits and say a few words to appease the crowd. You have purpose.

Some of it involves standing at a post for hours keeping watch, completely still even when your legs start to ache and your neck cramps uncomfortably under your helmet. Other moments are spent less rigidly. When you allow yourself to breathe, to feel, to love. Those are your favourite. When Sangha's flushed skin is underneath your fingertips and you call him king just to tease him. When he asks if one day you wouldn't have to hide, and you start to imagine the possibilities just as vividly.

If maybe, one day, you might rid yourself of your stiff armour and adorn a garment sewn by royal seamstresses. If a tiara might one day nestle itself in your hair, and if that moment comes, will it fit perfectly in its place the way Sangha's crown always looks? Or will it know the head it touches is not of a royal bloodline—that you are everything forbidden.

For a prince with so many rules boring down on him and so much pressure to be perfect, Sangha has always been free-spirited and untroubled by the restrictions of royal expectations. His laughter is soothing like the wind. His hair smells of fresh roses and warm summer sun. His pearly teeth that show themselves when his lips spread in a wide smile are prettier than the riches and jewels kept hidden in the royal treasury. It doesn't matter if Sangha is in his best suit or an old tunic, for he's always breathtaking. Anyone would be able to tell that he is royalty.

It's in his perfect posture and innumerable questions he loves to ask you. Ones that encourage you to stop and ponder things you never would have given a second of time. You think that if one day he ever stops asking them, a piece of your heart will rip right out of your chest. You are living as much for Sangha as yourself. You move forward for him more than anyone else, and you bear the burden of it for him as well.

If your relationship is ever caught, it will be you who pays the price. You who will be stripped of your place amongst the respected palace guards. Your wealth will be stolen, your honour trampled. But even if that day comes, you would still do it all again. If only for one last chance to see Sangha smile at you while you whisper one more time that he is all yours, that one day, things would be different.

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@kstrucknet

There was no other possible place you could be in the middle of the night besides the bathroom, and he found you searching through the cupboards under the dim glow of a lamp from the living room. Another shiver travelled up his spine, motivating him to step forward and wrap his arms around your waist, craving for the warmth of your body. You gasped from the chill of his body— his bare chest hitting your back as his cheek rested on your shoulder.

“You’re freezing, love.” You said, turning around in his arms, abandoning the peanuts you had been eating out of the bag while you waited for the tater tots to crisp up in the airfryer. “Why didn’t you grab a shirt before coming out here?”

“Didn’t think about it. Just wanted to find you.” He whined, burying his face in your shoulder, rubbing his head against your skin like a sleepy kitten. He was so tired, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep without you.

“Well, I’m glad you did.” You giggled, fluffing his hair and rubbing your hand in loving circles to warm up his bare back. “I’m just making a snack, it’s almost done and then we can go back to sleep.”

He hummed, the tiredness from just waking up making his voice much deeper than it usually was. You walked forward slowly, guiding him to follow your steps until his waist hit the back of the counter. He pushed himself on top of it almost as if second nature— having spent so much time using the counter as his personal seat. He clung to your pyjama shirt with one hand, not wanting you to step away from him again.

“Baby, I’ll be back in half a second. Promise.” You reassured him with a quick kiss to his forehead before stepping back. The airfryer beeped quietly, signalling that your food was done. You transferred the warm crispy pieces of potatoes into a bowl, and were back to hugging Doeui within half a minute.

“You’re so tired. Why don’t you just go back to bed now?” You asked, eyebrows falling as you watched him yawn and rub his eyelids, barely even having the energy to open them. His usual bright wide eyes were half closed and hazy as drowsiness still clung to him. He just shook his head firmly and reached for your hand, snaking your fingers with his gently but securely. He giggled when you squeezed his hand, the sound much like a child discovering something new and exciting.

It was a habit of your boyfriend’s to be a bit clingier when tired. When you came to pick him up from his studio, he clung to you like a koala, refusing to let go of your hand even in the car. He craved affection when his brain was low energy, and you were more than happy to shower him with it.

You munched the first tater tot in your mouth, humming in satisfaction as it perfectly satiated your late night cravings. You held up one of the potatoes for your boyfriend, popping it into his mouth as soon as he let his lips fall open. He smiled at the taste of the perfectly warm, savoury, slightly salty potato, and you couldn’t help but kiss the slight dimple on his cheek.

Since you could hardly be asked to stop with just one kiss to the cheek, you quickly trailed down, pressing sweet warm kisses on his neck until you reached his collarbone.

You would’ve stopped there, but you could feel Doeui squeeze your hand tightly, opening his eyes just slightly to look at you. You could tell immediately that he wanted you to continue, and so you did. Gentle loving kisses were placed all over his collarbone and shoulders, and then back up the other side of his neck until you finally reached his lips. You made this kiss last a bit longer, savouring the sweet taste of his lips, a hint of salt still on them from the food. 

“Let’s go back to sleep, hm?” You suggested after finishing the last piece of potato. Doeui nodded in agreement, but still puckered his lips for one last kiss, which made you giggle. “I already kissed you a thousand times. You still want more?” You teased, making him laugh softly.

“Just one more.”