#nochang

More surprises! Just Music posted something about it yesterday but nobody took it seriously because 04.01. Now it suddenly dropped some hours ago-

Nochang - 없는계절 (Feat. 아이네, C JAMM, YUNHWAY) 

2 years. 

Two long years had passed since Chang Joong’s disappearance, and you were finally starting to move on with your life. The first year was the hardest. No one, not even Siyoung or Jihoon could tell you where Chang Joong went, and it was unclear if even they knew of his whereabouts. Siyoung, worried about your crumbling state, visited you often during this first year. He would drop by your place after work to share a beer or two, as he updated you on the rest of the guys. You were close to the entire IMJM crew, but after Chang Joong’s disappearance, you couldn’t bring yourself to visiting their studio - a studio where Chang Joong’s absence felt all the more real. The second year was…easier, if speaking in relative terms. You immersed yourself in your work and slowly built your life back to the point where Siyoung could go on extended tours without constantly worrying about your state.

And now this.

You appreciated Siyoung’s gesture, but you had declined his previous offers of introducing you to other people. It felt wrong. To you, your relationship never ended, but rather put on hold, as if waiting for someone to press the “resume” button in the near future. But you waited enough, Siyoung insisted. You shouldn’t feel guilty about trying to meet other people. So after Siyoung’s incessant offers, you finally gave in. You were pleasantly surprised by Siyoung’s taste in prospective men for you. Your date, Harry, was a rapper who recently moved from the States, and the two of you got along quite swimmingly after initially bonding over your respective dogs. As the two of you continued to chat excitingly, oohing and aahing over pictures of dogs, a figure towards the back of the restaurant caught your eye. The dark figure had a baseball cap pulled over his face, but you could recognize him in a heartbeat. A shaky breath escaped your throat. The dark figure quickly noticed you noticing him. Your eyes met midair for a brief second. His sharp, black eyes sent shivers down your body. And then the spell broke. The second passed, and the dark figure rushed out of the restaurant. You immediately stood up from your chair to follow him. 

“Y/N?”

Harry grabbed your hand, looking at you with his big, concerned eyes. “Are you okay?”

Were you okay? It was such a simple question, but you didn’t know how to answer. There were so many thoughts crossing your mind, but one thing was for sure - you couldn’t let him disappear from your sight a second time.

“Harry, I’m really sorry.” You grabbed your purse and jacket, running out of the restaurant, leaving behind a confused, wide-eyed Harry. You felt bad for him, as you two truly were getting along so well. Maybe one day you could reach out again and at least remain as friends. But that was the least of your worries at the moment. Your head was spinning, but you kept running. Running after the dark-coated figure with the baseball cap. Tears filled your eyes. This is so harsh, you thought to yourself. You had tried to find Chang Joong for the past two years, and when you finally did, here you were, still running after him, trying not to lose him from your sight. This chase seemed to be a cruel but symbolic rendering of your life for the past two years. A play or a performance, only you were the tragic main character pining after the elusive lover. You always were. As if checking if you were still behind him, Chang Joong turned back and caught a glimpse of you, running after him breathlessly. His heart ached at seeing you like this, and his run slowed to a halt. 

“Y/N,” As your name trickled from his lips, your eyes stung with tears. It was so unfair. You were still completely under his grasp. You crumbled just from hearing his voice. “Who are you to appear like this? Out of the blue and completely overturn my life?!”

You broke down, as you pounded at his chest. As you neared him, a familiar scent immediately enveloped you, and you were overwhelmed by his presence. His voice, his scent...

“Y/N.. I’m not trying…”

“You are so fucking selfish, Chang Joong. You didn’t show your face not once for the past two years, and now that I am finally coping with what happened, finally trying to move on, you fucking show up out of nowhere? Am I a fucking joke to you?”

“Y/N…please listen to me”

Chang Joong hesitantly reached for your face, but you immediately cowered from his touch.

“No, Chang Joong. I can’t. I can’t even look at you. It’s too painful”

You’ve dreamt this moment over a thousand times for the past two years. You drew out different scenarios in your head of what to say, what to ask, when you finally got to see him again. But you were surprised at the amount of anger and resentment you had harbored towards him, that was bubbling within you for the past two years. Hearing his voice, being in his presence… it was all too much. You felt nauseous. 

“Y/N…”

“…you’re a piece of shit” you whispered, as you wiped your tears. Maybe chasing him was a mistake. You thought you had been doing well without him, but standing in front of him completely broke you down. You didn’t know how the past two years were for him, but they definitely weren’t easy for you. 

nochang, giriboy & kid milli @ the cry 2019