#nobodycared

When I was younger and I was upset I would begin to write out fake conversations with me and an imaginary person. The person who gave me the most comfort was a rebel I’d created. He told me how it was even though it was harsh. Today I needed to talk to him.

Him: "Why do you stay?”

Me: “I have no place to go.”

Him: “Yeah but that’s the adventure of it all. Not knowing where you’re going not having a location in mind. All that you have is a tank half full and google maps.”

  Me: “Yeah but what if--"

Him: "what if what?"

Me: "What if someone cares that I'm gone?"

Him: "they don't care, they just said what they fucking think about you. They could care less if you died."

Me: "You're right."

Him: "You don't mean a fucking thing to any of them."

Me: "I know."

Him : "No you don't, everybody uses you Charlie Everyone steps on you!"

Me: "What about you?"

Him: "what about me?"

Me: "are you stepping on me."

Him: "No."

Me: "How do I know, you're not going to use me, how do I know you're not going to step on me. How can I trust you."

Him: "You can't, you don't know if i'm going to hurt you or i'm going to help you. you're just going to have to take my word for it."  

Me: "Good enough for me."

Him: "are you going to leave them a note?"