#nobai

Let’s get this out of the way: I do not like Bai5.  I’ve had it once.  I do like blueberries and many blueberry-flavored foods and beverages.  I do not like Bai5 Brasilia Blueberry.  I do not like Bai5.  I’m sure the creators have only positive intentions, noble causes and interesting origin stories.  I do not like Bai5.  I don’t like the name, I don’t like the flavor nor the aftertaste.  I do like that the bottle is sturdy, but not that it’s more plastic.  Bottle sturdiness aside, there’s a difference between lightness and weakness, and to me, Bai5 is weak.  It’s subtle alright, with that subtle Band-Aid taste lingering well after you’ve tried to forget that you sipped it in the first place.  The bottle boasts of featuring their super fruit, “coffeefruit”, which, is a real thing?  My heart is beating faster than before I drank it.  The “5″ refers to 5 calories per serving, but each bottle contains 2 servings.  It’s water and sweetener (erythritol, stevia extract), then 2% juice concentrates, the ever-enigmatic “natural flavors”, and then, finally, “coffeefruit”.  Then some other stuff.  But none of that matters.  It doesn’t matter that it’s vegan or kosher or soy-free or gluten-free or non-GMO.  It doesn’t taste like blueberry, nor does it taste like coffee, nor even stevia.  The side of the label reads, “Juicy flavor that tastes like a rainforest just kissed you on the lips.”  Or, tastes like a doctor’s office just poofed gauze-flavored erythritol mist into your mouth.  Bai5?  No Bai.

Flavor:  Mmeehhh...

After Taste:  ... 

Feel:  Wet