#nobabytoday

Got up at 6:30 called in at hospital the lady was less than nice to me. Wanted the whole story on why I was getting induced at 37 weeks blah blah blah.

Well turns out I'm NOT and I'm NOT 37 weeks.  The original due date I was given was Dec 17. It changed from dating ultrasounds when we were still going to Hamilton.  It went to Dec 12th.  Which puts me at 37 weeks tomorrow.

My OB called and said that they would rather wait till sat or sunday to do the induction because of the first due date.  She said there is five days difference and it might make a difference in his lungs.

Now every time I go into her office it seems I get a different date/story.  She told me yesterday that she would send me in today and that it would take a few days so it would be better on the baby.  Last week she said oh we won't let you go past the 20th because of my placenta aging and with the gestational diabetes. 

I will do whatever it takes to bring a happy healthy baby into the world even if that means having a nervous breakdown between now and then.  I however will NOT be putting up with people telling me how to feel and what is best for me.  I know what's best, I know how I should feel. But how I should feel and how I feel are TWO different things. 

It is very very very hard to have a plan and then it change.  I fully understand how facebook and keeping this blog work.  I get I open myself up to all the comments.  I will do what the dr's say however keep in mind that they are NOT always right, they don't always know what is best.  I trusted them with Leia and she died. 

At least I will have two ultrasounds this week and two office visits.  That MIGHT just help ease my fears. MAYBE.  I am so close I know I can do this, and i'm trying to stay positive but it is hard.

When you have something taken away from you like I did last time, life seems so unfair.  Saying everything will be alright, this is for the best blah blah is fine but i KNOW what can go wrong.  I know angel or no angel watching for us it can happen again. Do i think it will? NO of course not BUT I know people who have had multiply late losses and it's not fair.

Mick's sister is coming in tomorrow, so let's hope that I go into natural labour between now and Friday.  Natural will be better anyways I'm terrified of the induction.