TW: Sui?? I don’t know how to describe it
OH MY FUCKING
I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF
I AM SO FUCKING USELESS
THERE IS NOT A USEFUL PART IN MY BODY OR BRAIN
I should probably just kill myself because there is nothing I could do to make myself useful
And just I hate myself
I am SOO UGLY
I CANNOT DO ANYTHING CORRECTLY
I CANT EVEN SUSTAIN A (singular)TRAIN OF THOUGHT WITHOUT IT BEING INTERRUPTED
AND I DONT KNOW HOW LONG I HAVE JUST PRETENDED TO BE USEFUL
I WISH I WASNT HERE
I WISH ONE OF MY DAMN ATTEMPTS HAD ACTUALLY KILLED ME
BUT I KNOW I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST CALM DOWN AND ITS JUST MY DEPRESSION
BUT ABSOLUTELY NOT
I HATE PRETENDING LIKE I AM OK ALL OF THE TIME
I MAY SEEM LIKE THE HAPPY ALL THE TIME GOLDEN BOY BUT I AM NOT-
I need to calm down before I actually do something
BUT HOLY FUCK
YESTERDAY AT CHRISTMAS DINNER MY GRANDPARENTS WERE MAKING COMMENTS ABOUT MY HAIR
AND NOW I HATE IT
AND THEY AND MY DAD WERE MAKING COMMENTS ABOUT MY PLATFORMS
AND I HATE THE FACT I AM A TRANS MAN
WHY COULDN’T I BE CIS STRAIGHT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
Kam just calm down
MY DAD WAS MAKING COMMENTS ABOUT MY JEANS
I WISH I NEVER GOT THEM ANYMORE
AND I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT EVER
AND I SHOULD JUST DROWN MYSELF OR LIKE HAG MYSELF
Kam calm the fuck down
AND I AM JUST A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT
WHO IS SO OVERWHELMED BY THE STATE OF MY ROOM I CANNOT FUNCTION IN THERE
This rant was useless I am not actually going to kill myself I just wish I was dead right now
ALSO I AM THE SURVIVOR OR VANISHING TWIN SYNDROME(as in I was the twin who survived and my supposed to be twin was a miscarriage)
I WISH I WAS THE ONE WHO HADNT SURVIVED
BECAUSE THEY COULDVE DONE SO MUCH BETTER
AND PROBABLY WOULDVE HAD A DREAM THAT WOULD MAKE MY PARENTS PROUD
INSTEAD MY PARENTS GOT ME AND THE SAY MY DREAM CAREER ISNT A REAL JOB AND THERE IS NO CHANCE OF ME MAKING IT
FUCK I AM ABOUT TO CRY THATS NOT GOOD
Anyway
BYEE
HAVE A LIFE(hopefully a good one)
Feeling: Useless
