mbd is so peak

i'm dyin

my headphones died and i can still hear one of the songs revrebating inside my skull

bouncing around in the empty space where brain should be

its so peak

AHAHHAH

<33

Notes: are ghosts a trigger? I’m not sure. This kinda vaguely implies them.

“Janus...”

The voice echoed softly from behind Janus, a feather-light rap on his shoulder. There was some part of him that knew this wasn’t real, but he still couldn’t find himself moving or doing much else differently.

But that voice...

”Janus...” it echoed quietly again. But it fell on deaf ears as Janus looked forward at the car crash. He wanted to stop himself, but he but he found himself unable, bolting back through the forest yet again.

He hadn’t heard that voice in ten years. Not since he was 17. He was almost 27 now.

It echoed again, softer, quieter...

And Janus woke up. Staring at his ceiling blankly for a while before flipping his pillow to the cooler side and trying to sleep again.

Progressively, the voice got louder and louder each dream, calling out to him. As the days went on, different short phrases became a bit more and more complex. The first one had been “Janus” and the most recent had ended with “you can’t hide it forever.”

And Janus was starting to think he was going crazy.

While Janus would love to deny he had any clue what that phrase meant, something about it wouldn’t leave his mind. He searched every other possible meaning for the phrase. But no, he knew what the voice meant. He knew what their voice meant. And he’d do anything to make sure the voice was wrong.

A knock at his bedroom door made him snap out of the thoughts. He set his tea down on his desk and called for Ree to come in, who hadn’t even waited for a response before swinging the door open. Ree was just like that, and Janus didn’t really mind. Ree strolled over to Janus’s bed, plopping herself there and crossing her legs. Before Janus could get a word out, ready to ask what Ree would like to talk about, Ree already started speaking, leaving Janus with his mouth open with no sound coming out for a moment before he closed it. “I want to go back.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Janus nodded a bit, his jaw locking up until he forced himself to calm down. He’d miss Ree, but if that’s what she wanted, he wouldn’t stop her. “If that’s what you want.”

“I want you to come with me.”

“You—what?”

Ree threw her hands around in some nervous gestures as she continued to speak. “I mean, obviously not right this very second, you have work at like... ten if I remember correctly? But whenever you have time, and it’ll just be temporary of course. I want to go back. And I want to go back with you.”

Janus blinked a few times, dumbfounded. He swiveled in his chair and lifted back up his tea, taking a tiny sip and gulping it down, but not setting back down the cup, having mainly wanted it for the comforting warmth the cup provided. “So... you want me to go back with you. Back to your soulmate? Do you want me to meet him?”

Ree shook her head and stood up, slipping the cup from the other’s hand and sipping at it before cringing softly, her nose crinkling. No sugar. How disappointing. She handed the other back his cup while she began to speak again. “Not unless you want to. I just wanna visit again. See if there’s anything worth staying for. Making sure I’m making the right choice.”

Janus nodded along softly, not minding when the other swiped his drink. At least she didn’t spit it back into the cup this time. “You have doubts?” he asked softly, tapping his first finger on his right hand lightly against the glass as he waited for an answer.

“No. But I never do. So I just want to be sure.”

Letting out a breath from his nose, almost a laugh, Janus smiled down into his cup. “Yeah. We can visit. Can we give it a couple weeks though? My boss’s patience is running thin with all the missing days. Says the company can’t function without me.” Half of that was played up, but Ree didn’t need to know that.

“Yeah. We can wait a while. Maybe while I’m waiting I can work on making an actual resume.”

“I’ll help you with it. Don’t worry too much about it, you’ll be fine,” Janus waves off lightly.

Ree smiled at that. “Thanks Janny. You’re the best.”

“I am, aren’t I?” Janus joked, though there wasn’t hint of mockery in his voice. Ree slipped back out of the room and shut the door behind her, and Janus swiveled back to face is desk, elbows resting on it as he stared ahead for a moment.

“I’m totally, utterly fucked.” And if Janus didn’t know better, he would’ve sworn he heard that voice whisper “yeah you are” in the faintest echo behind him.

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90% of my dash is mandalore pain & you're out here doing the lord's work👏😭✨

All I have on the Phantom Apprentice right now is a lot of dying whale noises that loosely translate to “WHY CAN’T WE HAVE NICE THINGS?! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY?!”