#nneutralchaotic

     he feels the headache sinking in, feels his temples draw heavy and feels the way his lids almost want to close in on themselves and knock him out. a reminder that he needs to sleep more, needs to take better care of himself— especially, his sleeping schedule. needs to remind himself that four hours worth of naps throughout the day wasn’t going to be enough, wasn’t going to suffice. work makes him all the more tired, his list of troubled teens growing by the day, many finding him specifically because they relate to him, without really knowing the underlying colours of his facade. he finds it more annoying than endearing, despite what his coworkers say. 

     he checks the time on his watch as it nears midnight, a tired sigh leaving him as a hand moves to push the door to his home open. he hears faint music playing in the background, taking off his shoes and slides them onto the rack. he feels his headache only intensifying as he takes a moment to gather himself, to try to force the incessant pang at his temples to a soothing tap. but it takes more energy than he has, and so— suffices with the pain. 

     digits coming up to pressure at his temples, sliding his bag off from his shoulder and slinging it across the living room, watching it skid into one of the dining room table legs. tries to make a mental note so that he wouldn’t scramble about the place looking for his bag for work. one that he’s sure will probably die with the rest of his already dying soul, as soon as he manages to close his eyes for a couple of hours. at this point, he’s certain he wouldn’t even be able to sleep for more than an hour or two— even if he tried. 

life comes in waves of unpredictability and crashes against the shores of uncertainty. it doesn't take long for the afternoon zephyr to carry the stones of despair across the mountainous ranges of isolation. and all that's left is her... the midnight gale that brush against her temples, soothing the ache that once pounded between her dull hues. she has been glazed over by the unwilling nature of her luck, stingy in all of its aspects. her neck ails her, her shoulders tense and her knees quiver from the weight of her body balancing unevenly on her feet. sweaty palms from the stress of maintaining her stance, press against her trousers and she sighs. it seems actively avoiding him isn't good either.

the way she would avoid meeting his gaze, a quick shoulder that would skid pass his own across the hallway, accompanied by a small nod that could have easily been mistaken for muscle spasm. haeni was ashamed of how he would see her, a dependent intern who pitifully spent all of her time and raised all of her efforts to a boy who overlooked her. to a boy who only saw her as a means to an end. to a boy who would curse at her because she wasn't who he thought she was. to a boy who held her past against her and repetitively slammed it against her already breaking soul. her fragile ego shattering at the sight of hyunwoo in the hallway, instinctively her gaze shifts to the person behind him - seemingly preoccupied with the schedule she has made up in her mind.

the inevitable occurs when her phone dings with a notification from a change of schedules, for a change of schedule that could possibly relate to him. she was forced to engage in a conversation that was well above her means of confidence, she takes a shaky breath - its been weeks since an actual interaction was held between them.

it's late.  he's pacing the plush carpeting of a hotel room, because it's not like he can bring this guy he's been talking to over to the dorms for a little bit of nightly fun.  sure, he gets plenty of ... physical attention from kangjoon but right now, his roommate is a little busy filming for some new drama that he hasn't really talked to him about yet and hongjoong doesn't even care much about the rest of his groupmates.  of course it leaves hongjoong frustrated and lonely, so the only cure for it is scrolling through a down low hookup app he found that caters mainly to the rich and famous.  it's easy enough to find a guy that's willing  -  the same one he's been talking to off and on for a few weeks now but has't met up with yet.  but now he's waiting in the hotel that they agreed on, pacing the room alone and it's getting later by the minute.

hongjoong frowns as his phone rings.  it's not his so -called .. date, is it? his eyes narrow at the unknown number, sucking down a gulp of water before he answers the call.  he can wait, just like he's making hongjoong wait.

" hello?" he says boredly into the receiver of his cell, falling back onto the bed.  his robe opens and exposes his bare chest, almost exposing more of him before he pulls it closed.  it's not like anyone is watching him in here, though.  " you're not coming, are you?"