sᴏᴜɴᴅsᴄᴀᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀʀᴅᴏᴜʀ

she wouldn’t have put any thought into any possible date if insu hadn’t told her he would be taking time off. was this a date? could she call it a date? the questions keep flooding, one after another in her head. had insu and her gone a proper date before? she can’t remember. going to the local café in the middle of the night didn’t really count. she didn’t count it personally. their many dinners together, were more because they felt the need to have them, or most likely than not, joohyun forced him into doing those things.

she can see the little smile pulling at the corners of insu’s lips and she can help mirror it. she remembers, of course she remembers because she was like that. both towards the good and bas when it came to the people in her life. especially her fiancé in the past nine years, rounding up to ten.. a whole ass decade living under the same roof and this was their first proper date since then. she has to physically shake her head to get those thoughts out of her head, for the better. 

“don’t mention it. i hope you enjoy it.“ joohyun says, smile back on her lips as she watches him come out of the car. there are a bit of jitters on joohyun’s end at least, but she thinks she is handling it well. she can’t help but nod her head, she really hoped he could leave with some happy memories from their little date, to add onto the happy ones he had with his mother. she personally can’t remember ever going to the aquarium, not even with someone else at least.  she makes sure to lock the car, tucking the keys in her bag before waving him over “we should get going, come on.“ and she turns on her heel, heading in the direction of the aquarium, or at least towards the elevator. it was still empty, most of the parking lot still available “do you have the whole day off?“ joohyun turns to him again, once she gets to the elevator, finger pressed onto the button as she waits, patiently for his answer. she never really got a direct answer, if he got half a day off, maybe more than half, the whole. she wanted to know.

     although he doesn’t realise it just yet, but the thought that the both of them hadn’t had a proper date in years would have caused a lugubrious expression to tug across his countenance. with so many years accounted for and none of which were spent with quality made him feel as though he had lost so much time with her, all those moments shared between them with an angry huff and tired sigh accompanying lethargic limbs that would be dragged out by her in the middle of the night to a cafe somewhere. and he remembers being on his phone the entire time, not paying her any mind. 

     yet, here he was today— nothing but her on his mind. the difference frightens him a little, quivers at his shoulders as he lets them roll back to ease up. he offers her another smile as she wishes him to enjoy the aquarium, appreciative of her efforts and time, mentally promises to himself to not be distracted by anything that wasn’t her this time around. 

     he turns to her, following after her as she waves him over. “yeah, the whole day.” he confirms, having told his father that it was imperative for him to take the day off, that if he was met with any objections— he’d make it known that his father was no stranger to blackmailing fellow wealthy families to support his campaign. a snarl ending the phone call as his father grumbles permission for him to take the entire day off. 

in the beginning, it was boring. really boring, jiwon wasn’t the most talkative person, she kept to herself, she spoke only when spoken to, she threw hands when she saw the chance to. being around danhee was a breath of fresh air. she got to be useful to an extend, despite the fact that there were days where they were both human sprinklers. which sometimes was fun, sometimes it wasn’t so really it all depended on how she felt about it.

there is a slight hum that leaves her, glancing up from her phone when he tells her he will be coming early “didn’t expect anything else from you.” she says, no bite in her tone. she was just lazy, only moving when she was forced to and danhee got her out of bed on the weekends before noon just so she could resurrect a plant, or twenty. depended on the day. somedays, he was unlucky enough, jiwon had gotten some other power along for the day, other’s she had copied his, today she had their professors lovely plant manipulation. which really, thanks to danhee she had gotten quite accustomed to it. 

“i’m gonna sleep in, maybe go in the city and grab a nice brunch or something, buy a new book, go for a run. you should sleep in as well.“ she suggests, lifting her gaze from her phone to catch his. jiwon raises her brows at him, as if hoping he would take her suggestion. he most likely wouldn’t, but it was worth the shot. her eyes fall back to her phone, aimlessly scrolling through social media before danhee’s voice catches her attention, perking up ever so slightly. “oh.” is all she says as she glances down once he moves to the side, yet another plant overwatered.

“yeah, one plant cpr coming your way.“ she says, putting her phone away and getting on he knees in the soil, next to the plant. it was impressive in her opinion, how quick she had gotten used to not minding being dirty, mud on her hands, clothes, sometimes she went back home with wet hair even. but she didn’t mind, she dug her hands in the soil around it, and slowly but surely the green and sturdiness of the plant coming back to it, maybe growing slightly, jiwon couldn’t tell if she wanted to, maybe she should be paying a lot more attention to what danhee was doing nowadays. “was it like this?“ she asks, turning to look up at him, brows raised.

     some days, being a human sprinkler for his professor in the greenhouse seemed a lot more fun than others. most days, he killed at least a handful of plants and others killing only a few— it varied on his mood. though, it doesn’t stop the way his professor would commend him on his great improvement, despite him not knowing that jiwon was there to revive each and every plant that was unlucky enough to meet its demise. his professor tells him he’s doing a great job, though he doubts it— doubts that the professor isn’t at least a little suspicious of him. 

     he offers her an exaggerated grin at her comment, finds that if he was skipping this many classes in hopes of discreetly training his blood manipulation— that time in the greenhouse was going to be valuable to him. he doesn’t think that he could train anywhere else more suitable, finds that the environment and the nature itself, was very encouraging— despite what everyone else would suggest. his professor makes it clear that the plants all have souls of their own, and are all able to communicate with each other and how he hears them tell him about danhee, himself. yet, another reason for danhee to doubt that the professor was truly oblivious to his murderous streak.

     “go for a run? that sounds a little excessive.” a grimace pulls across his features, not liking the sound of that at all. a hypocrite at best, as he finds himself running more often these days, something about better controlling his powers the more cardio he did. he wasn’t sure if this was just another bait his professor threw out to make him more fit or what. 

they never really sat down before and had a good talk about whatever had happened between them during the past few years. slow and steady, more and more strange agreements between the two of them would appear, they stopped dating other people, stopped fucking around, stopped doing most, if not all, of the things that put that barrier when it came to their relationship. it was supposed to be just an arrangement, nothing more, nothing less. yet, here they were, with so much more on their hands and so many lines crossed.

it was almost funny, maybe joohyun would have laughed if it had happened a few years ago, she most likely wouldn’t have thought about it twice. wouldn’t have spared insu a look… but this happened today, and she was very different than a few years ago. everything started to mellow down and neither of them cared to step up and stop it, go back to their old ways and potentially avoid any future disappointments. because that was the most prominent feeling she was feeling now, disappointed. in insu for having let her down the way he did, and in herself; for thinking he had changed over the years. maybe he had on the surface to make things easier for the both of them. almost nothing seemed to matter from the past few years, words, actions, memories. It all felt like it was a pointless waste of time and energy on both ends and it was just about enough to make joohyun feel sick.

her hands let go of him as he pulls away, hanging around him for a short second before she brings them back to herself, wrapping them around her frame. she can’t help but purse her lips when insu’s hands cup her face, thumbs brushing away the rest of her tears, but she can’t bring herself to look at him. she felt empty in terms of tears, drained even, a tad tired as well. even so, she manages to hold his gaze, despite the fact that she can feel her chin quivering and she isn’t sure she was going to start crying again or not. she nods a bit once he tells her i love you and she feels another wave of tears threthening to spill, closing her eyes tightly when she feels his lips press to her forehead. a small shake of her head, she isn’t sure what she wants, what she should do, honestly speaking, maybe a whole to swallow her whole, but she was being dramatic. maybe she wasn’t. she still couldn’t tell.

“i don’t know..” she speaks up, voice still rough, after letting his questions linger in the air for a few moments, “maybe some water?” finally opening her eyes and looking up at him when he tucks a strand of hair away from her face.

     deep rooted habits, all of which were painted over by stained rose coloured glasses. what was once shattered, now took the shape of an irregular mould of normality— two opposing concepts that have now meshed into an amalgamation of perplexity. he hardly knew what was going on with himself, let alone anyone else. the feelings that he felt, the blurred lines and change of moral compass, the way he felt himself being obligated to please her to appease himself. all new feelings that he hates, hates that they exist in his chest making him quiver in the presence of her tears. he felt weak, exposed and vulnerable— he hates it, but he supposes that it’s the price to pay for whatever love is. something he had yearned so eagerly for, yet would have never thought it to be this bitter and agonising.

     though, the disappointed in himself lingers heavily above his head and it’s evident in the way he felt dejected by his own actions, something he wouldn’t have spared a second glance or thought at years prior. but now, suddenly everything was different. as gradual as it had happened and as silently as everything had passed by, in this moment— it felt like a switch had been flipped and he was feeling everything for her at once. every single regret that bleeds into his bloodstream, every single memory and words he had silently promised to her, broken. and he wants to throw himself off from the balcony, maybe at least then— the pain would be enough to subside the angst and inner scrimmage from within.

     the avoidance of her gaze, saddens him— aches a part of his soul, reinforces the regret of his actions. but her gaze holds, he feels his heart wrench with pain but he nods, reluctantly letting go of her completely— feeling the emptiness occupy the growing space between them as he retreats to grab her a glass of water. slight moments away from her felt as though the aching in his body had intensified, he felt his knees growing weak as his body trembled slightly with the overwhelming emotions he was going through. he catches his breath, lets his palm press against the edge of the sink to their small kitchen in their room and how badly he just wanted to punch out the frustration. inhaling through gritted teeth, another deep breath as he retrieves a glass of water for her, returning as he hands it over to her. 

“i’m fine, i promise. i sit behind a desk and flex my brain on some pre-written down notes on a daily.” she explains, stupefies her job, but it was the truth. she got to talk about a game, she didn’t have enough time to play, but probably watched too much, knew too much, read too much. she didn’t do much when it came to physical activity, a pilates lessons, maybe hit the gym a few times a week, but once she got in a routine, it was easy to stay up later than usual. sometimes she wishes she was back as a software engineer, a slightly more engaging job, something that made her think a lot more and engage with big groups of people, but the idea of going back to her parents… she refuses to think about it.

“i’m doing fine, i’m enjoying this.” she smiles back at him, a smile that reaches her eyes again. It was nice, this was nice. she really wanted to have more time together, maybe just relax within each other’s proximity, but they were busy. they were adults, and she had to remind herself that a lot nowadays. joohyun also reminds herself that he did say he would do anything she wanted, anything she asked, however, there was always that little voice at the back of her head, reminding her to not be too greedy, to not ask for too much, to not push insu out of his comfortable space. so far, it seemed like things were going well. she didn’t want to jinx them.

“where do i want to go?” the question gets repeated, a hum following. she hadn’t taught about it; she never did anything special on valentine’s day. pursing her lips, she looks up at the ceiling, unsure where she would like to go “we never really do anything on valentine’s day, I’ll think about it.” is her answer after a few extra seconds of thinking. her smile is back on her lips once she hears insu say he would take the day off, gaze falling back on him. that warm little feelings in her chest just seems to grow with every passing minute and she can feel herself relax even more in his arms, leans into him ever so slightly more.

“i’d love that.” she answers, squeezing his hand again. “i’ll plan it then, a surprise. just let me know if you can take the day off, for sure, so I know how much time we will have.” because she already has an idea or two, and there is excitement showing on her features that she’s not able to hide, doesn’t see a reason to do so either. at least not now.

     it began to seem almost scary, a slight shiver casting down his spine as the subtle raise of his brows rise above tired hues. hazel ones that were glazed over by a shimmer of adoration that he had whenever laying eyes on her. a feeling, a sensation so foreign that it almost makes him panic, so strange and yet— so oddly familiar that he yearns for such a feeling. the way he feels weak, vulnerable and stained by the warmth in his chest, one that was concocted as a result of having bathed in her presence, of having letting her make strides in his modest capsule of emotions. she is everything he had ever wanted to experience before letting his mother go, but it feels oddly liberating and distressing at the same time.

     and he fears, fears the possibility that she would one day just wake up to realise that he was everything she despised. they had a fair share of uphill battles and despite everything, had made it this far, had proved that even with the toughest of starts— they were capable of making it work. but he also fears that having chipped away at his walls, that she would soon find a weakness in his coding. that his mainframe was going to expose some sort of flaw, unravelling him to the core of his existence and finding every little shameful thing he has done for the sake of living life as lee insu.

     he fears so much, yet— here he was, a simple gaze into her own eyes and he feels at ease. all the emotions devouring him from within, takes a moment to digest the possibility that this, this was what the emptiness inside of him needed. a smile gracing at his features as she spoke, glad she wasn’t overworking herself and he grips her hand a little tighter, pulls her in a little closer. 

“i–” he squints as she ridicules his looks, folding his arms with a scowl as he glares at the pup comfortably snug in her arms. “i’m handsome. not ugly.” he huffs jealously as the pup licks haeni all over the face, shuffling past haeni with a grumpy little huff as he made his way to the open kitchen, opening the fridge begrudgingly to grab a couple of haeni’s favourite snacks (needless to say, there was no reason why he had those in his fridge–it wasn’t as if he had gotten a habit of snacking on them back when they were still teens and hanging out like genuine fools with each other. 

“snack on that first.”the snacks clatter into the bowl as the pushes the bowl towards her lightly upon the other side of the counter, grabbing a couple of ingredients alongside the packet of kimchi that had sat unopened for months in the sheer cold of his fridge. 

“what do you want to eat? ramen?” he ignores the niggling thoughts that impede his mind–her skepticism and doubt dancing at the forefront of his thoughts as he recalls her disbelief when he spoke about how difficult it had been for him. 

of course she didn’t understand. he was a fool to believe that she would. 

afterall, she didn’t know anything about what happened to him after she ran off and disappeared, didn’t she? the bitter curve of his lips slips away into mild affection as he watches her play with the fluffy puppy, the creature unusually energetic, unlike it’s sanguine moments when he was around. nameless either found a way to hide under every chair and chew up his slippers, than be pet by his hands. in fact, it seemed to gravitate towards females–hyuk squints, watching as the puppy gives him a lazy look from lying upon haeni’s chest. 

“you seem too comfortable there, don’t you?” he mildly threatens his pet with a stare, “she’s my pet though.” his hand raised to scratch his brow a little awkwardly, poorly attempting to mask his awkwardness with a wild guess. “if you’re planning on taking her away though, does that mean you want me to come over to your place? and holding…..bitna hostage is just another way to awkwardly ask me out?” he challenges, chin sticking out slightly as he avoids her eyes, bustling around with ramen packets and brushing over the ingredients he had brought out to fill the counter from his fridge, almost like a headless chicken floundering on the next step of the dish it wanted to cook. 

“fuck.” he cursed under his breath as he attempted to masquerade some form of bravado, only to send a couple of ramen packets crashing down onto the floor. even after so many years of living alone–perhaps there was one thing that hyuk truly didn’t devote himself into learning how to do. and that was cooking. which needless to say, explained why he was embarrassing himself repeatedly on hook in front of his dog and haeni whilst trying to make out heads and tails of what to cook.

awkwardly, he peeks from above the counter, clutching the dropped ramen packets to his chest. 

“stop laughing.” he grumbled, begrudgingly tearing open the packet and watching in slight horror as it sailed across the air from the sheer strength used to open it…to fall right back onto the floor completely. 

     she’s quick to dismiss his comment, knows deep down that he’s anything but ugly— but in this moment, he was indeed the ugliest person she knew. the walking hypocrisy that was jeong jaehyuk, accompanied by the whirlwind of all the inner scrimmage he had caused inside her reverie. his presence besmirched the clarity she once had, rose coloured glasses assuming their position as she stares at him with a loving gaze again. and she hates it, curses every second that she allows herself to think of him so fondly. a delusional that had ruptured her own sense of reality that she had dragged herself here to his home, asking for some of his time. pathetic.

     she gets up from the floor, trails after him, feeling the ball of fluff linger around her feet as she moves to wash her hands by his kitchen sink. she catches a glimpse of her favourite snack now all resting in the bowl by the counter, can’t help the glimmer that lights a spark in her gaze, as she dries her hands against the back of her jumper. “sure, anything.” she nods, moves to reach for the bowl of snacks on the counter, taking one to her lips— having forgotten how nice they tasted after months of having been deprived of time to drop by the convenient store to pick some up. 

     she places the bowl onto the counter, assumes her position on the floor again with bitna in her hands. she doesn’t have pets of her own, finding the time she had available was barely enough to even look after herself. having access to a ball of fluff like bitna was an opportunity she wasn’t going to give up on easily, was going to let every second sink in. free time, scarce on schedule, it made everything all the more difficult to handle especially with her dwindling health. doesn’t help that she pushes herself a little too much when asked to fulfil duties outside of her scope, but she supposes it comes with the territory. 

it was a push and pull, always. one of them was too stubborn to give the other a genuine chance, and this time it was joohyun being skeptical as skeptical gets. maybe he was still on something, as if she wasn’t half a bottle of wine down, hypocrites, they were both two stubborn, prideful hypocrites. despite everything calming down over the years, it was still hard to accept a lot of what has happened. it was still hard for her to accept that anything insu did was without a motive, that would be at her expense at the end of every conversation or encounter.

that was the issue, joohyun knew it was best to just ignore the whole situation. bicker until he is done with her and leaves her alone like it usually happens. one of them gets tired of the same trend, too used to break it and now it was insu doing it. he was still calm, to some extent, he wasn’t yelling at her yet, he wasn’t doing anything to make her back down and retreat. It was confusing to say the least, the alcohol isn’t helping her right now. so, she takes in a big, steady breath, her fingers holding onto the edge of the counter before sighing, loud and heavy, shoulders dropping along. “you’re right. My bad.” she admits, one of the few times she’s backed down, agreed over something he has said, because maybe they should talk about it. Maybe there was something, at least on joohyun’s side, which she refused to think about, maybe insu was right for once as well.

“you’re also right, I don’t really care what you do in your spare time. what you decide to smoke, swallow or snort, none of my actual business, despite the fact that you look like shit the next day.” drugs never were her thing, alcohol wasn’t either, but ever since she was forced to live under the same roof as him, it had become a thing she drank for the sake of her sanity. It eased the tension of her shoulders, sometimes cleared her thoughts, but right now it was only making them cloudier, messier. why was she so uncomfortable about insu fucking around with other people?

her eyes quickly dart down, there is more lipstick and she feels something starting to bubble inside her, so she looks back at him again, holds his gaze. he’s put a spotlight on her without intending to and it almost gives her stage fright. she expected this to go like any other time, her saying something, him scoffing and an argument following. it was supposed to be like every other time, but its not.

“what if i have developed a soft spot for you? maybe i have. what then? does it make a difference?”

     the image that he had curated for himself, a carefully crafted portrayal of someone he wouldn’t call any less than antagonistic was one he had catered to over the years. it doesn’t help that his father would bring out the worst in him and would be most of the fuel that worsens the flame, lit ablaze by pure spite streaming through his bloodstream. the threats that his own father yells at him, their relationship, anything but a happy one— translates into other aspects of his life, and joohyun was the addition to the troubles he had experienced thus far. at first, seeing her as a thorn to his side but eventually, he grew to tolerate her and now, he wasn’t sure if he could live normally in his home without her silhouette loitering around.

     and he hates to confess that he would probably miss having her around if she were to decide to just up and leave. that he would have to take some time to get use to not having her around, as annoying and challenging she makes each day be. you’re right. my bad. the words receive a smirk to tug at his corners, “words, i don’t hear enough.” digits come to rake through his untamed strands, and his own shoulders roll back to ease the tension on his frame.

     he lets his gaze rest on her as she continued to speak, can’t help the way his smirk only grew as she spoke. a brow raises discretely as she her gaze matches with his, what if i have developed a soft spot for you? maybe i have. the words take him aback, hazy hues widening slightly in response but it doesn’t hide the smirk that pulls almost too proudly across his countenance. “do you want it to make a difference?” he does the hypocritical thing, returning her question with a question, something he had pointed out only moments prior and yet, here he was— doing the exact same thing in return. 

it wasn’t entirely planned, it was almost a last minute thing joohyun decided to do. ever since insu told her he would take a day off from work to spend valentines day together, she made sure to at least plan something nice. not the usual, he gets her flowers, she makes dinner. maybe they would still keep the elements to that, it had become somewhat of a tradition for them after a few years, but this year she wanted to go out and about. maybe have a cute date.

they were so gonna have a cute date. she doesn’t remember the last time she planned a date for the two of them. it was usually late at night, she would drag him to go get coffee to some forgotten by god café and they would sit outside and enjoyed their drinks. sometimes they would talk, others they would be on their phones, it didn’t matter. joohyun got her few hours of insu being physically around her and doing something she wanted, which most of the times, she was sure were against his will. however, lately, he was very lenient on what she wanted. she’s not sure if some events hadn’t happened if things would be like this, if he was doing it out of guilt, pitying her even.

she physically shakes the thoughts away. they were currently on their way to the place joohyun had picked for them to have their little date. it wasn’t anything super big, nor fancy. she had taken the initiative to drive them there, you know, to keep the surprise in the air, because she had managed to hold it off quite well. however, they were pretty close to lotte world, it felt like it was almost obvious. “i got us tickets for the aquarium.” joohyun finally says, parking the car and turning off the engine. “i am pretty sure it will be jammed packed with other couples, so i decided to just, go in earlier than most people would, so its you know.. quieter and we don’t have to rush.” she explains herself, unblocking her seat belt and pushing the door of the car open, before hopping out.

it wasn’t their usual time of the day the two of them would go out, far from it even. joohyun was usually dead asleep when insu wakes up, apart from those rare occasions she gets up and makes breakfast and coffee for them, still unable to rub the sleepiness from her eyes. so this was quite new for them, or at least for her.

     he had decided to take the leap, to, for once— not let his logical mind take the wheel and steering it further away from what felt right. she felt right and that’s why he was taking the day off to spend valentines day with her. something that was a little out of the ordinary, finding himself a little dazed by the entire experience thus far— and it hasn’t been a long one. the way he had always, every year, gotten her a bouquet of red roses and they would share a nice dinner together and that would be it. late night work unable to allow him to spend much more of his time with her, the unhealthy habits of drinking and staying out all night didn’t help either. but this year, this year felt different. this year, it felt right— almost.

     and, it had been such a long while since the last time they had managed to leave the house and end up somewhere nice, somewhere that wasn’t either their living room or the local cafe. this was new, this was nice. reverie filled with slight regret as they begin to surface ever so subtly in his periphery, the way it would rattle him just the slightest in moments of clarity such as this. moments where he found himself in her presence, on his phone scrolling through a feed that meant nothing to him, moments spent by her side with his earphones pinned to himself so loud that he could barely hear himself breathe. moments that he spent by her side, not being there at all as if it were some sort of chore he had to fulfil. 

     a sinking feeling assumes in his chest as he takes a deep breath, arms folded before him as he sits in the passenger seat— something he wasn’t used to. hues widening with slight surprise, he had mentioned wanting to go to the aquarium after having visited his mother and hearing of a recount of a trip they had gone on when he was younger. nostalgia washing over him, a sheen of adoration meld to his hazel hues as he glances over at her, a subconscious smile tugging at his lips, “... thanks, this is really nice.” he allows his gaze to trace her features.

joohyun gives him a quick nod of appreciation for the compliment about her aim. it was surprisingly, the way things are going down right now. she expects their parents to walk out, absolutely fuming but there is… nothing. nothing she has to worry about right now, but she is sure eventually they will both have to answer.. it made her want to physically deflate at the thought, she wasn’t even sure how her parents would react.

she is about to pick up her bag, fingers already clutching at the strap, but his words catch her attention, and she stops in her tracks. What the fuck could he have planned. joohyun looks at him, almost squinting when he pulls the chair and… barricades the door “you’re joking, right?” she asks, turning to face him. that was probably one of the stupidest choices ever made, she wasn’t sure anyone would appreciate it but… maybe the longer her parents were trapped in there, the better chances they had at this bullshit arranged marriage to end, right? a girl could dream. she didn’t see which way the doors opened, she couldn’t really tell from here either, but she hoped they needed to be pushed from the inside. otherwise, the chair was pretty useless.

she still thinks of leaving, maybe book a flight and fuck of to the maldives or something. however, insu is full with surprises, it makes her raise brow at him “yeah? i’m an expensive drinker, i hope your father wouldn’t mind.” she replies, fingers letting go of the strap of her bag, instead pulling the chair back and sitting down “what do you drink? usually.” she asks, eyes landing on him for a second, before turning around to look at the staff, who seemed to be inching further and further away from them. 

“can we get the drink menus?” joohyun pouts, and she uses her good voice, the one she knows always gets her what she wants, the kind and bright one, for the first time this night. she didn’t plan on using that tone again, at least not when speaking to anyone she knew here. It took a lot less for one of the waiters to bring a menu, joohyun taking it from him and opening it.

“we should just buy every table a champagne if you really want to add onto his tab.”

     he supposes that this too, his suppressed words of accosting those around him— the way his words don’t carry the same weight of venom as they would have prior to the dinner, was a way for him to make up for the errors he was committing now. as if the gentle tone that accompanied his words, syllables that fell from his lips amidst thrown glasses and barricaded doors was a way of him telling his father that was still somewhat afraid of the older man. that no matter what he would do with his life, no matter how angry he would grow towards his father, that he would still show some decency in complying— even if it was just that little bit, that wasn’t as bad as what he could have been. 

     he lets out a scoff, a smirk tugging at his corners, “this is hardly a joke, unlike this supposed arranged marriage shit we have going on.” he replies, a slight shrug rolling off of his shoulders, more relaxed than how he had begun. he supposes that them being trapped in there would at least buy him some more time to rack up enough on his father’s tab to piss the man off just that little bit more. enough for her family to see that maybe, just maybe— insu isn’t the one for her, for them. that with him in the family, things would get a lot worse, that a whirlwind of misfortune would be inevitable in their wake.

     “even better, drink to your hearts content.” gesturing to the chair beside him, as he settles in himself, gaze eyeing the door almost expecting his father to bang on the door. his gaze shifting back to her as she spoke, “anything that gets me delusional enough to think that life is worth living.” a little morbid, but the sarcasm in his voice guises his humour well. something his father tells him not to do, that this isn’t how you speak to others. that jokes are always a universal thing, but he shrugs turning back to find the staff shuffling into the distance.

it had become tradition it would seem. after lessons, at any free time they get, jiwon and danhee got, they would be in the greenhouse. it was usually peaceful, she would scroll on her phone sometimes, they would talk, he would panic that he is killing the plants and she would go and copy the greenhouse lecturer’s powers and go back to help danhee.

a routine, something jiwon genuinely needed for so many years in this hellhole, he had managed to give it to her. despite her initial protest, initial pull away from the whole situation, she preferred to keep her gloves on, hands clean. not having to sit there with him and learn a new power yet again, lose that little bit of identity she had managed to build over her time at the academy of the gifted. somedays, she would copy danhee’s powers, fuck around with the water manipulation, see how things were, she had gotten decent with it, considering how many times she would accidentally tap him on the arm without having her gloves on, and turn into a fucking sprinkler along with him.

however, most days she stuck with plant manipulation, got a praise or two from the greenhouse staff members and it made her skin crawl. so she had asked danhee to move to the furthest end of the greenhouse and that’s where they were today. with jiwon sat on a chair, not so far away from the other and watching him, in case he started drowning anything else. 

“most of tomorrow’s classes got cancelled.” she says, scrolling through her phone rather than paying attention to what the other mutant was doing. “you planning on sleeping in or coming here earlier than usual?” jiwon asks, raising her gaze from her phone. she would love to get a sleep in, really, she was craving it, but she had gotten so used to being around danhee she really didn’t mind getting up at random hours during the day to keep him company. it wasn’t like she had anyone else to go to or anything else to do. she thinks of it as a fair exchange. he keeps her company and she helps him learn. fair enough in her books.

     the greenhouse had slowly become his second home, flora sprouting from beneath the soil into stems so small that he tries to nurture each day. the leaves that twist and turn, the way the tiniest of fauna leeched off from the emerald pads and made its home within the spiralling stems of the plants. and the pots, the pots that sat, lining the greenhouse around it’s edges, perimeter secured by a fresh dampness that penetrates through his nostrils like an afternoon zephyr after some hard rain. and he has grown to love it inside the greenhouse, grown to take in the elements that prick at his fingertips as droplets form at his digits, forced to learn how to control his powers.

     and he has drowned way too many plants, met with the stern and disappointed gaze of his professor as he submits yet another dying plants from having been over watered by his lack of control. but he finds solace in the way jiwon would always show up and rescue his victims with her plant cpr, finds her amazing in that way— how she could replicate anything like a walking hack. how lucky she is to be able to access any power, that sometimes he thinks it should be illegal. his own gaze falls to his hands, stuck with something so— so hard to control. 

     he stands on the edge, watching the plants vibrate gently under the pressure of the water sprinkling atop. “might come here earlier.” this was the only opportunity he had in learning how to better regulate his strengths and being able to identify his weaknesses. with each time, he felt as though he was getting closer to being able to control them and then, he’s met with a dying plant on the edge of the greenhouse and comes to realise that he still had a long way to go. “you sleeping in?” glancing back at her.

it wasn’t rare in the past for insu to have joohyun’s full attention. most of the times it was when they were arguing, trying to have the last word, prove a point. It was due to no positive emotions, that she had to keep her gaze on him, to listen to him, to show him she wouldn’t back down without a fight.

nowadays, it was different. It’s been different for the past few months at least, there was less of the discourse. the was a lot less yelling and arguing, it was all softer. everything had taken a turn and she can say it was for the best.

nowadays, she could focus on insu all she wanted, actually look at him and take in all the small details she hadn’t the chance to do so for years. she isn’t sure if he had noticed, the fact she was openly staring at him sometimes, maybe he didn’t care as much. she didn’t mind. she got to see those tiny smiles every now and again, the way his eyes would crinkle ever so slightly, the visible tension from his shoulders drop. It wasn’t much really; those were probably things other people in relationships noticed even before they were nine years in… it really makes joohyun want to laugh about it. childish, they were so childish it was amusing, but she doesn’t see them able to behave in any other way.

“i’m fine, i’ll let you know.” she explains, quietly, as if she was scared if she spoke any louder, the moment would end. she wasn’t sure she was ready to let it end. “but, if you’re tired, we can go to bed.” she adds, giving him a reassuring smile. the chances that he was tired from work and wanting to be done for the day were pretty high, at least from what she had learned over the years. it somewhat reminds her of the time she worked for her parents, the headache that wouldn’t leave her for days, if not weeks. she’s only ever gone to see him at work a few times, she’s pretty sure she can count them on her fingers.

but her train of thought gets interrupted at the squeeze of her hand, following his faze to one of the dogs watching them and she can’t stop her smile from widening a bit more, and she looks back at him. there was that small smile again, and joohyun felt her chest squeeze a bit, warming her up from the inside out. “yeah? valentines day is soon, you wanna go somewhere for it?” it wasn’t like the had any set plans for that specific holiday. it was different every year, depended on their schedules, it wasn’t a huge day in their calendar, it was really just another day. where insu got  her flower, joohyun cooked them dinner a big dinner.

     he hadn’t noticed when things had mellowed down, when heightened waves minimised to soothing crashes against the shore, when the hailstorm had settled to a light sprinkling of rain. things had happened so gradually that he hadn’t realised how soft he  had become for her, how he had changed his entire demeanour just to be able to please her, how his true colours began to show and how his walls began to crumble for her. he hadn’t realised how much time he had spent, thinking about what they had become because things had taken such a drastic turn that he was almost afraid of the feelings that were confronting him. concerned with how soft he had become, with how vulnerable he was with her.

     he offers her a smile as she spoke, shaking his head, “no, not at all.” he tries to sound as genuine as he could, muster up all the sanity left in his body to give them a moment he knew they were lacking. time spent together had become more scarce, with clashing schedules and unfavourable word loads— and he tries to handle his stress well, tries to manage it in a way that doesn’t get him spiralling back into old habits. “just let me know when you’re tired, i don’t want you overexerting yourself for me.” he adds, gaze watching the dogs as he makes sure his steps are steady enough as to not trample her own feet.

     “where do you want to go?” he returns her question, having never cared about such events. always thought they were just another day to be spent like every other day, the only difference being the label that hangs from the calendar accompanied by the fourteenth. with recent years, having bought joohyun large bouquets of roses because that was the best he knew how to celebrate it, the best he knew how to at least contribute to their relationship. 

     and subconsciously he holds her a little tighter, debating on whether on what to get her again this valentines day. “i’ll take work off on valentines then and we can do something fun together.” he offers, “if you want?” he adds, giving her a way out in the case that she decides against it in the end. doesn’t want to push himself onto her too much, doesn’t need her to feel overwhelmed by his presence because he knows he isn’t the easiest person to be around.

it felt like a climax had to be reached one way or another, not in a nice way. not in a way that made joohyun’s heart race, cheeks flush, not understand what was happening exactly, but know that she is getting overwhelmed with joy. it had to be the one that set her lungs on fire, tears refusing to stop, shaking in insu’s arms. it had to be this way and she isn’t sure why she didn’t predict it. again, her mind turns to the fact that she is always hopeful, not as positive or lively as she used to be, but she without a doubt looking on the bright side of things. even though they were together against their will, nothing more than a deal for more money on the behalf of their life in general, things had been going well.

they were acting like somewhat of a couple, they were doing things together, there was little to no yelling to get a point across nowadays, she really did think that it was getting somewhere. they were getting somewhere. she was just naïve if anything. she should have known this would happen, something as bad as this.

it’s still overwhelming, being held by insu. like this, in this specific situation. It’s so familiar, so familiar yet so so different. she can’t put her finger on it, she doesn’t think she can think straight yet. her lungs are burning, but there are finally getting the much-needed air after she had calmed down. the arms around her closing tighter, pulling her closer to him, it’s both grounding and suffocating, but she doesn’t pull away. so, she leans into him more, pressing closer and just listens to him, focuses on his hand on her back, the attempt to soothe her, focuses on anything else but her own thoughts. 

she nods a few times, just to indicate she is listening, but the tears refuse to stop, and she is sure they are soaking his shirt, which reminds her that she is still holding onto it for dear life, arms wrapped around him as well. slowly, she loosens her grip on his shirt, feeling the sting in the joints of her fingers, the dull pain in her palms, it hurts. joohyun hadn’t realized how hard she was holding onto him and only makes her want to cry more at the slow realization of how he had acted out at the situation.

“you are.” she agrees with him, voice dry, rough around the edges, followed by a sniffle, blinking all the extra tears away. she doesn’t expect what he does next, his lips pressed against her forehead, but she doesn’t mind them, not at all, not right now. “you are the stupidest, most dense person i have ever met. so fucking stupid..” she sighs “you better…” finally feeling calm, but the hurt in her chest is still there, more noticeable now that she has stopped crying. “i still love you.” she adds, knowing how heavy those words still are, especially now, when there is the lack of intense emotions, when she can think straight and she isn’t shaking like a leaf in the wind.

     he had never thought they would end up here— never thought that their arrangement would go any further than just that. never thought that he was going to be capable of offering her anymore than a home and the room he once claimed as his own. and he remembers talking by the side of his mother’s bed about finding love and the way his mother grabbed at his hands and let her corners tug to her sincerest smile. and she whispers to him that she hopes he finds someone nice and with time, that someone will definitely make a difference in his life. he returns her smile, tries to reassure her that he’s holding out only for the best, but deep down within the crevices of his soul— he knew full well, that in this lifetime it wasn’t going to be something he could experience. 

     and maybe he’s aware of how broken he is, aware of how damaged he had become over the years of losing his mother’s presence in his adolescence. the same way a cub loses its guiding light in a snowstorm, only to have a trap snag at his ankles and dragging him slowly back to a world unknown. he’s aware of how badly he bleeds negativity from his bloodstream, the way he taints everything pure around him. he wasn’t a ray of sunshine nor was he the beacon of light his mother wished for him to be— he was the darkness that encompassed the tunnel, the darkness that hides the light at the end of the tunnel, the darkness that shields the eyes of those in it from the surrounding good that appears every so often. he is the boy that every mother tells their own kids to stay away from.

     and it hurts, it hurts to see him hurting the one person he swore he would protect. after nine years of their engagement, of sharing the same roof, of trying to prove himself to her— he goes and throws it all away. it hurts to see her shake, to see her go through the pain he had caused her, to see her whimpering in his arms— short of breath. and he never thought he could elicit such a feeling from her, didn’t think he was loveable, didn’t think he was deserving of love. but here she was— offering him everything he thought he couldn’t have.

of course, he would question her, she gave him the stupidest answer possible. she shouldn’t be drinking and having these conversations. instead, she should be on her stupid laptop finishing up her fucking plan her mother shoved down her throat, because she had work tomorrow… joohyun spares him a glance, just one before it’s back on the couch. “since when were you interested in the reasons behind anything i say?” she asks back “you always shove my words back down my throat no matter what i say.” she jabs at him this time, voice itching to raise at him. his following words make her skin crawl, brows furrowing, and she takes another sip from her drink.

she ignores most of his questions, unsure what she would actually answer “you always flattered yourself too much.” despite the dry tone of her voice, there was a slight panic. what if she had really developed a soft spot for him? for lee insu out of everyone in the fucking world. she can’t stop the way her body shivers at the thought, unsure what emotion exactly caused the reaction. she knows he’s seen it; she just hopes he ignores it.

his following question makes her frown, finally turning to look at him. shamelessly, she looks him from head to toe, a few times, before back to the couch. did she have a soft spot for him? is that why she stopped seeing other people his question makes her raise a brow “have i ever made you do something you don’t want to? i- i might have asked, but it was all to you to make the final decision.” joohyun answers him, ignores the sarcasm that drips from his voice. she brings the glass to her lips, tips it even, to keep herself busy with something and not let her thoughts run even faster, but its empty and it makes her sigh, loud and annoyed. she places the glass back on the counter, she’s had enough for tonight, at least in alcohol.

“i have a project plan i need to submit before i get into work.” she explains, unsure why she is even explaining herself to insu of all people. however, she can’t seem to keep her eyes off him, gaze drifting to him, every now and again as he moves around the kitchen, darting to his fingers on the buttons of his shirt but his words catch her off guard. our feelings. it rings in her head, once twice, three times and she looks at him, properly, holds his gaze, brows raised. she doesn’t even mean to do what he tells her, and she blinks a few times “i’m sorry… what did you just say?” she asks, doesn’t mean to. there is nothing in her tone to say she was making fun of him, mocking him. it had genuinely caught her off guard. maybe she heard wrong, the alcohol getting to her, mixed the lack of sleep and the sudden anxiousness she feels.

     his voice maintains its mellow nature, he doesn’t raise it nor does he let it puncture the sphere of anger that so tauntingly floats at the surface. he has gotten used to her mannerism, to the way that she would always try to make jabs at him— he had come to a point where having a conversation with her alone was enough to make his head implode. she was making things difficult for him. she was the one making it hard for him to have a normal conversation, to have a normal life— living in his home. he lets out a sigh as she speaks, “fine. i’ll go back to not giving a shit about what you have to say then.” he shrugs, rolling his eyes. but he couldn’t help the amusement that lingers at his corners, couldn’t help the smirk that pulls onto his features only moments later. they were a whirlwind of emotions and storm of complications.

     “you know, answering questions with questions— is getting kinda old.” he lets his shoulders roll back, noticing the way she was dodging all of his questions. the way she fired her own in succession of making him move past his own questions without reiteration. the way she was convoluting the situation, making it all the more confusing— the way he wasn’t sure how he truly felt for her in the moment. in usual times, if it were anyone else, he would have had his voice raised, a coarseness that bleeds from his throat accompanied by the strict raise of his brow. curled in digits that press crescents against his palms but now— now was different. 

     his digits make it half way down his shirt before his gaze lifts to match with hers again, “clearly there’s some shit going on.” brows raising in question, “it’s not like you to suddenly give a fuck about what i do with my spare time.” their arranged engagement far from anything romantic and far, far from anything genuine. a redness that only bleeds in the shade of boiling anger and a petrifying tint of aggression that came in forms of heated arguments— voices raised above healthy levels and crinkles forming at the creases of his brows. 

there has been a lot of twist and turns, most of which joohyun would have never been able to predict even if she wanted to. it seemed like just when she felt she had insu figured out, one of them changed something and it was a whole learning curve again. sometimes it were small changes, sometimes they were so big she wasn’t sure it was worth learning everything all over again. it wasn’t like riding a bike, it never was that fucking easy. yet, they somehow managed to get through it.

nine years was enough to let you adapt to these things, like it or not. It became a routine at this point, at least to her it did. she doesn’t remember speaking to him about it. maybe she did, while she was drunk, alcohol giving her that much needed boost of confidence. it wasn’t like in the beginning where they would scream at each other, in attempts to prove a point, to prove anything. joohyun wasn’t as set on having the last word as insu was, she didn’t have the venom he did. she wasn’t a thick skinned as him, she let him jab at her and scoff in response, just to physically remove herself from the conversation. yet, it all mellowed down, somehow, over the years, it softened and there were normal conversations that were had. quiet and soft, something really out of the ordinary for them.

she can’t help but smile a bit at his answer, nodding her head a bit in acceptance. she wished she had more time to cook and bake for him nowadays, but work was both long for them. maybe not as long for her, she only started midday, but he was out and about for longer than she could imagine working nowadays. “i’ll make them again sometime, make sure to take some tomorrow for work.” she says, smile only growing more shy. it was starting to feel like home, it felt warm whenever she came back and she really, really hoped insu felt it the same way.

it’s all she needs, a little reassurance, and she isn’t sure how he is able to do it repeatedly, but it does the job. so she indulges in it, the small things he does for her when she asks and it feels nice, it makes her think she should ask more often, but she is sure that it was the alcohol speaking. always blame the alcohol, always make excuses.. but who knows, maybe one day joohyun would actually allow herself to freely ask for things.

she doesn’t expect him to speak, but he has her full attention in an instant, head pulling away and looking up at him, brows furrowing in worry as she expects him to tell her she’s being pushy. anting too much. however, her expression quickly softens, eyes fluttering close at the press of his lips to her forehead, and she shakes her head a bit. “it’s okay.” she replies, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “we are adults now, we both have work, so it’s fine.” she smiles, can’t help but smile up at him. maybe if they had figured things earlier, when they were still at university, when they had more time to be together, it would have been different, but right now, she didn’t mind. not at all. “i know you will, at your own pace, yeah?” and she goes up, ever so slightly on her toes and return the kiss to his cheek.

     he nods, mentally noting to take some of it to work with him tomorrow. hoping that he wouldn’t forget the following day because in the current, the pang to his temples was prominent enough that he could almost feel it pulsating against his skull, rattling his very being. but he tries to ignore it, tries to suppress it just enough that he’s able to enjoy the comfort he has with joohyun, in the moment.

     despite her words, he couldn’t help the feeling of guilt that gradually sinks its teeth into his flesh, feeling it slowly tear at the impassivity he had tried to hard to build around his emotions. the way he had tried to live through their relationship showing as little emotion as possible, with the only hint being anger and annoyance. and he wonders how or why she’s able to put up with so much of him for so long, the way he had treated her makes him have a sense of heaviness weighing him down. both shoulders with two dilemmas on each, an enigma of emotions that warps itself into the vision of a green monstrosity, whilst the other lays dormant in the form of a crystallised rock of a sleeping angel. all his sanity having gone to bed, and he was starting to lose grip of who he was, unsure of how he even felt towards joohyun. how he wanted to change for her but he also wasn’t sure if he was prepared to commit. 

     and he’s afraid that he’ll turn up like his mother, withering away in a hospital bed whilst he allowed his persecutor to prance about so carefree.

     and he feels the kiss on his cheek, a small smile etching onto his features, nodding. “if you’re tired let me know, i’ll take you up to bed.” and for all the years they had spent together under the same roof, he had offered up his own room for her— sending himself to the guest room or to sleep on the couch downstairs, finding it better that he gave her the space she needed. always having assumed that she preferred it that way, that she probably found him not of taste— considering how his old habits of smoking and drinking would easily get the best of him. and smelling like the aftermath of a drunken crackhead was surely not something joohyun would prefer. 

she can’t stop herself from raising her brow at him, head tipping to the side “touché.” she admits and raises her glass in a toast, despite it being empty and puts it back down on the table, twirling the glass between her fingers. it comes unexpected, that he says what her little idea was fun. kwon joohyun was anything but fun, she rarely let loose, but what better time than now? get under her parent’s skin, embarrass them, stain their reputation…

a grin pulls onto the corners of her lips as insu tells her to grab another glass, she doesn’t even think about it, her free hand grabbing the full one her mother hadn’t touched. “fair enough.” she replies and pushes herself up, bringing the full glass to her lips and downing it again. this was bad, they shouldn’t be doing it, but the anger and disappointment from the actions of her parents were ever so clouding her thinking. she doesn’t have enough time to reply, because the glass is already shattered. shards flying across, but she doesn’t step back.

she shouldn’t be excited about this, but her grin only grows wider. there was something liberating, thrilling about this. this isn’t her, joohyun knows it but she doesn’t want to stop, they had started getting their point across. “you aim isn’t bad.” she says, throwing her own glass at the door, ignoring the continuation of gasps and probably panic rising behind them. the second one follows not long after and she takes a few steps back. “that one’s for kwon minho’s tab.” she adds, wants to scream, to throw a fit, but she knows better. the idea isn’t bad, eyes darting to insu, before back to the door.

“i think it’s enough. as much as i want to continue… we’re making a mess for them as well.” joohyun says, tipping her head in the direction of the staff. “I’m calling it a day, gonna go drink my sorrows away.” she was very much aware her parents wouldn’t be phased by such an act, if anything, it would make them push her in their own fucking direction. “i’d say you call it a day as well.”

     he’s oddly impressed at the way she joined him so compliantly, he was fully expecting her to back out when he took her words so seriously but she’s full of surprises. and he couldn’t help the smirk that tugs at his corners when she mentions his aim not being bad, digits coming to rake through his strands, “yours ain’t that terrible either.” arches brows raising above hazy hues, returning her half compliment with a grin warping his features. he was almost expecting his father to emerge from the room, frown evident on his features with his sleeved rolled up and ready to pull insu into the room to teach him a lesson. but, his father doesn’t and the room door remains closed. 

     he shrugs as she speaks about making a mess, if anything— he’ll offer a cleaning service to come by and take care of the mess he had created. it wasn’t something new, his father had taught him to clean up his own messes but failed to teach him how to do it himself instead of using his privileges to his advantage. one failure of a father educating a failure of a son, and a mother who wilts slowly in her care home. “nah, not a quitter.” digits move to grab at the nearby chair, he moves with caution, making sure to avoid the broken glass as much as he could— barricades the door with the chair in his hand. 

     his gaze moves to match with the staff, shaking his head— denoting  that no one was to free the barricaded door unless that person was himself. he was determined at this point to make things so much worse for his father, determined to make it known of his objections, wants his father to know that lee insu wasn’t going to give up without a fight. especially, now that he had his own home to return to, he didn’t care about his father kicking him out or threatening him with homelessness. there was nothing his father could do to reprimand him, unless it was a fist fight that he wanted. 

she rolls her eyes, takes another sip at his answer “dense as fuck as well.” Is all she adds to his answer. there were many more adjective she could and would pick for insu, both pleasant and nasty. even if in the beginning, she used to say anything nice to him, with the idea to make him feel even more uncomfortable in his skin, to catch him off guard, show him two could play his game of jabs. nowadays, she means some, if not most of the nice things she says to him about him.

she doesn’t pay attention to him, tries at least, doesn’t want to look at him as he gets up. then his voice comes and it’s a lot closer than she expect and she still doesn’t look at him. she can’t look at him, but she answers, “it does.” and then he is in front of her and she can’t help but look at him now, head raising ever so slightly, enough to hold his gaze and her lips purse. he’s too close and he reeks of cigarettes, someone else’s perfume.. it makes joohyun scoff mentally at herself for even noticing that small detail. she is listening to him, but her eyes catch the lipstick on his collar and she can’t help but squint. “i just don’t.” she answers, avoiding the question, unsure of what her answer really is. 

she hadn’t thought about it, she just knew she didn’t like it. it was enough seeing him dunk, high, on something else, mixed, but seeing him after sex or whatever else he had been doing with some faceless to her person, it made her stomach twist. “do you want me to be? are you doing this to make me to feel jealous?” she finally questions back, eyes finally lifting from the lipstick marks and holding his gaze, head tipping to the side, mimicking his own tilt, brow raised. joohyun leans in closer, challenging him. just like how he invaded her space, she feels the need to invade his. it could be the alcohol, most likely the alcohol in her causing her to act up. 

was she really acting up? compared to the very beginning, she had mellowed down, so so much… university had really been kicking her down and working for her mother and father had been stressing her out more and more by the day. somedays she even feels like she’s just a shell of her former self, but if anything, insu managed to spark something inside her. always managed to bring some emotions she had suppressed or forgotten about back to the surface. she was always down to show him she wasn’t scared to bite, to remind him that even if she was burned out, her teeth and claws were still there.

and when he pulls away she feels like she can breath again, no longer suffocated by the smell of cigarettes, alcohol and perfume of whoever had been all over him. she brings the glass of wine to her lips again, taking a sip and refusing to look at him, eyes glued to the couch where he was sat not so long ago.

     he nods slightly, shrugging— dense, who woulda thought? he thinks to himself, mentally notes it down into the never ending list of his negative traits. the list seemed to be growing more and more by the day. it seems as though the more time he spends with himself, the more he starts to hate himself— he was that unbearable. 

     and he likes joohyun, likes this side of her— the way she challenges him. the way she returns his actions and the way she’s not afraid to let him know what she thinks. it was rare, like a breath of fresh air that brushed through the hazy smokescreen of his reverie. but he holds his tongue, and as he pulls away to draw a sip from his cup of tap water, he leans back against the counter, allowing his gaze to fall back onto her own. “you just don’t?” a brow raises, “what kind of answer is that?” taking another sip from his cup. “make you jealous?” an audible hah leaving him, “and why would you even have the need to be jealous? unless—” he pauses, a smirk tugging at his corners, placing his now empty cup down as digits come to tug at his shirt to better position it on his shoulders. “—unless, you’ve developed a soft spot for me.” 

     he allows his gaze to trace her features as she’s turned away from him, as he watches her face the room he was in just prior to coming here. “should i just stop fucking around then?” his tone was a little too sarcastic to be taken seriously, though it was up for discussion if it were truly something she wanted to talk about with him. he was willing to make some compromises as long as they were reasonable. and he wasn’t sure why he was being so compliant, so calm in the way he was approaching her— he wasn’t sure if this was just the aftermath of the alcohol or the effects of everything he had consumed hours prior.