Apr 8
just want to do this. nothing else. kinda on autopilot right now and just trying to get through the week. friday is another drs appt. been off the feeding tube since late last week and have been trying to eat once a day to keep myself out of inpatient. my brain fuckin feels like mush right now. a chaotic mix of overtired energy, some fucked up desire to show whoever i can do the job better than anyone around me and anxiety. pure anxiety. im not diagnosed bipolar or with bpd, but i hit a manic state a few days ago and ive yet to fully shake it. the crash out from this one’s gonna suck. thankfully next week is an easier week - fingers crossed. and hopefully it doesn’t end with me in treatment for something i really don’t want help with.
