yunjin knew you were a big fan of red velvet, especially one particular member who everyone refers to as a goddess due to her mind-blowing, out-of-this-world visuals. since pre-debut days, the american has found it amusing to watch you freak out over the one and only bae joohyun whenever you see her on your phone during training. after debuting, your members had grown accustomed to sudden bursts of energy being released following a tiring practice session because you were always bound to listen to red velvet after every tiring session, the soothing voice of red velvet's leader filling your ears.

yunjin has always been a witness to your fangirl-like behavior and found it very amusing to watch.

that is, until yunjin developed the same feelings for the bae joohyun that you did, and the american found herself unable to laugh at your usually amusing antics. well, she tried not to, but she couldn't because you were too cute in her eyes.

yunjin fiddled with her chopsticks as she stared at you from the kitchen with such intensity that sakura, who was busy eating, couldn't help but notice. the japanese frowned at the glare on yunjin's face and followed her line of sight, eventually finding you shaking your poor leader on the couch in the living room. the bad boy music video you were previously watching was now abandoned as you went to bug your leader instead after chaewon made an unintentional statement that she quickly regretted.

"you've met irene sunbaenim?!" you shrieked, betrayal swimming in your shining orbs.

chaewon basically gave up right there, letting you shake her like a doll while silently looking for help from sakura and yunjin.

"correction, y/n-ie. it was chaeyeon, not me." chaewon grumbled.

despite yunjin's best efforts, sakura could hear her annoyed groan, and she cast another glance at the american, whose glare had been replaced with adoration as they watched your shoulders sag in defeat and collapse next to chaewon. yunjin returned her attention to the food, looking away from your defeated form, while sakura decided to assist chaewon.

"and that was during iz*one." sakura added.

"not even kkura unnie met irene sunbaenim." chaewon said, trying to make you feel better, but added more salt to sakura's wound.

the japanese's brow twitched in annoyance, despite her smile, prompting chaewon to apologize before turning to tame your hair. you simply huffed at them and crossed your arms, not looking away from the television.

"unfair."

yunjin snorted, causing sakura to return her gaze, but the american did not meet her unnie's waiting gaze. meanwhile, chaewon handed you your phone, which you used to take a picture of joohyun's overflowing visuals during bad boy era.

"another story? really?" chaewon mumbled from next to you, her eyes twinkling with delight as she watched you press on a bunch of hearts. the sight was not unfamiliar to her, but it still made her laugh because of your unending love for joohyun.

"shush, unnie."

yunjin's phone lit up next to her, drawing both sakura and her attention to it. yunjin didn't bother hiding the notification, which came from you, because she caught sakura's questioning yet teasing look. the american attempted to push down the blush that threatened to spread across her cheeks, but failed, so she hid her face behind her phone instead.

however, the american merely grumbled when joohyun's face greeted her once more, casting you a glance as you let out a high-pitched scream when the same woman who has plagued your mind since pre-debut days appeared on the screen. this time, you were watching peek-a-boo.

"what's the matter?"

yunjin showed her the screen, and sakura laughed at the army of pink hearts before looking at yunjin, who was glaring at her food. the older of the two shook her head at the obvious jealousy, but said nothing as she pieced everything together. while sakura was aware of the glares sent your way by yunjin, she never understood why. now, she did.

"since when?" sakura queried.

yunjin glanced at her, but shrugged. "i don't know what you're talking about, unnie."

sakura smirked. "sure, yunjin. sure."

yunjin ignored her as her gaze returned to you, her heart racing as she wondered if you could get any cuter than you are right now. one thing about yunjin was that she couldn't take her eyes off of you. it was a running joke in the fandom that yunjin was always staring at you with big heart eyes.

similar to what she was doing right now.

after being asked by the fans watching the live, you eagerly danced to zimzalabim, the reveluv within you sparking happily, and eunchae cheered you on. yunjin sat next to the maknae and was silent for once as she watched you with a small smile.

"wah. you were amazing, unnie!" eunchae grinned at you while giving you a big thumbs up.

you exaggerated a bow, which made yunjin laugh. "thank you, thank you, thank you!"

the american motioned for you to come over to where they were sitting. "come on over here, silly."

you smirked at your fellow '01 liner, but complied. you crossed your arms as you faced her, causing the other girl to raise her brows with a smile, while eunchae silently smiled because she already knew what was going to happen, scanning the comments, which were full of fans teasing yunjin's lovestruck gaze.

"are you calling my dance silly, yunjin-ssi?"

yunjin rolled her eyes. "i'm calling you silly, y/n-ssi."

you shook your head. "no, no. calling me silly means calling the dance silly, too. therefore, the reveluv in me is very disappointed and offended, yunjin-ssi."

eunchae cackled while yunjin looked at the phone for help, which the maknae noticed and immediately read the comments in response to yunjin's silent call for help.

"they're saying you're on your own, unnie—"

you grinned happily. "HAH! see? they're on my side!"

yunjin was dumbfounded, sending everyone a look of betrayal. "but her argument didn't even make sense!"

"doesn't matter, yunjin-ssi. now, you shall apologize." 

you jokingly raised your chin at the american, and she mumbled under her breath as she glared at you, but eventually relented. she knew she couldn't win this playful banter because her heart was already pounding in her chest and her mind, which was supposed to think logically, screamed at her to apologize. her very being and existence were vulnerable in the face of your adorable face.

if sakura or kazuha were present, the only other two members who were aware of yunjin's feelings, she would be teased nonstop. it won't be long before the eunchae and chaewon figure it out. 

well, actually, the way eunchae was looking at her right now, yunjin knew the maknae was already aware, but she needed confirmation. eunchae would most likely get one after the live ended.

however, as long as it was you, yunjin didn't mind if her pride suffered.

"fine. i'm sorry, y/n-ie."

you returned your attention to eunchae after you smiled and leaned against the american's body, which yunjin took pride in. the maknae began babbling about something, which yunjin tried to listen to but was distracted by your grip on her. the american grabbed your waist as she leaned in closer to the phone to scan the comments to distract herself, knowing that eunchae was well taken care of by her fellow '01 liner.

her face fell when a comment about a certain idol that you essentially worshipped appeared, which eunchae caught as she squinted her eyes to read the comment before it vanished. yunjin noticed the mischief in the maknae's eyes as she managed to draw your attention to said remark.

"unnie, there's a comment about irene sunbaenim."

"where?!"

at that, you jumped away from yunjin, causing the girl to squint her eyes in disbelief. 

at this point, it was unavoidable for you not to mention joohyun in a solo, unit, or group appearance. you mentioned the woman you adored every time, and it was no different this time, and yunjin had to listen to it all over again, all because of the evil maknae, who planned to torture her.

yunjin glared at eunchae from behind you, and the maknae simply grinned widely in response before they both turned to you because you had begun your detailed explanation of why you adored red velvet's leader.

"alright. first of all, have you seen her?! irene sunbaenim is so gorgeous like—" 

you panicked suddenly when you saw joohyun's face in your mind and waved your arms in the air, almost hitting yunjin. fortunately, she noticed it at the last second and was able to avoid it. as eunchae laughed, the girl glared at the side of your head in distaste, but you didn't notice her.

yunjin resisted the urge to roll her eyes, but she tuned out your irritating rant and tried to distract herself by scanning the comments, which were unfortunately filled with your beloved idol's name, causing her to look away in defeat.

"and her voice! i don't know. it's small, but soothing and really good to listen to?" you hummed thoughtfully.

"that's true, unnie." eunchae butted in, causing you to nod.

"also! she's so caring towards her members and really kind! she's also a good cook, according to what i've heard! not to mention, really generous..." you trailed off, recalling how she gifted her staff some really expensive things, but you shook your head to snap out of your lovestruck trance and resumed your rant.

"i don't know. she's just so… perfect!"

that was your conclusion before you changed the subject due to a fan's mention of food. eunchae joined in, but yunjin remained silent as her mind raced.

when you returned to the dorm, you went straight to your room, while yunjin stayed in the living room with chaewon. while sakura was still out on a schedule, eunchae joined you to get her daily dose of cuddles.

the only other two members awake were enveloped in silence, and chaewon found yunjin's behavior odd, frequently looking up from her phone to check on the emerican, who stared blankly at the wall. the leader, though concerned, waited for yunjin to open up, but after a solid 15 minutes, her concern about the american's unusual behavior only grew.

"yunjin—"

"unnie."

chaewon blinked at her dull voice and almost jumped out of her seat when yunjin turned her head to her leader. chaewon raised her eyebrows, urging yunjin to tell her what was bothering her, which yunjin did.

"am i gorgeous?"

despite being perplexed, chaewon responded to the question. she noticed no signs of insecurity in her eyes, which was a relief. besides, if yunjin was truly insecure, she would be in bed with you right now, not chaewon. however, she still found the american in front of her odd.

"yes, you are, jen."

"is my voice soothing and really good to listen to?" yunjin threw her another question, causing the frown on chaewon's forehead to deepen. yunjin either noticed but ignored or didn't notice chaewon's weirded out expression.

"you're a vocalist for a reason, yunjin." chaewon replied.

yunjin blinked. "am i caring and kind?"

it was chaewon's turn to blink as she wondered just where the hell these questions were coming from, but she decided to join in whatever games yunjin was playing, if indeed this was one.

"yes."

"am i a good cook?"

chaewon sighed, her patience dwindling, as she ran her hand down her face. yunjin, on the other hand, remained unaffected and waited for her leader's response, which chaewon begrudgingly provided after seeing the blank yet awaiting gaze.

"jesus christ, yunjin. yes, you are a good cook. y/n-ie has mentioned numerous times."

a flash of emotion flashed across the american's eyes, causing chaewon to raise a brow, but yunjin didn't give her a chance to respond as she turned around to retire to her room, but not before thanking her leader.

chaewon frowned as yunjin walked upstairs before eunchae appeared with a sleepy grin and sakura made her presence known by placing a hand on chaewon's shoulder.

"what the hell was that?" chaewon asked, perplexed.

sakura chuckled. "chaewon-ah, a certain someone likes a certain someone in this dorm."

chaewon blinked. "eh? yunjin likes someone?" 

sakura gave the younger girl a look, waiting for it to click, which didn't take too long. 

oh. 

chaewon sighed in disbelief as realization dawned on her face. meanwhile, eunchae greeted sakura with a hug while mumbling into the coat sakura forgot to take off after hearing yunjin's strange questions as soon as she entered the dorm.

"yunjin unnie was blushing."

chaewon snickered and rose to assist sakura with her coat, as eunchae refused to let go of the newly arrived japanese girl. "after i told her about y/n?"

eunchae nodded in response, not bothering to mention the words' familiarity. but sakura already knew because she had been watching the live stream, and chaewon was bound to find out soon enough, given that she had been on her phone earlier. she'd later discover your and joohyun's names, along with eunchae and yunjin, were trending.

"how come we never knew?" chaewon queried thoughtfully.

sakura shrugged. "exactly my question."

eunchae rubbed her eyes. "i think kazuha unnie knows."

chaewon and sakura shared an amused look. "of course zuha would."

yes, kazuha knew. even before yunjin told her about her conflicting emotions—conflicting because yunjin didn't even want them in the first place, but she couldn't do anything about it if her heart was fiercely beating for a certain girl in the group.

the poor ballerina, on the other hand, was unfortunately very much aware of what others couldn't see due to her observant nature, but she didn't mind. only that it irritates her to no end to watch some people dance around their obvious feelings, at least to kazuha, rather than acting on them.

but now, kazuha is watching you bounce all over the place due to your excitement. the group would be attending a variety show, and your beloved idol would be there as one of the emcees. your nervousness and exhilaration initially clashed within you, but the latter eventually won. therefore, your members and staff had an excessively happy puppy.

you were not informed that you would be attending this show because they knew you would be overjoyed for days and they wouldn't be able to handle you. yunjin, in particular, who grumbled when told a few days earlier by chaewon and was pouting in the corner at the moment, her eyes following your every move with an irritated scowl.

"I'M MEETING IRENE SUNBAENIM!"

yunjin's glaring eyes were caught by kazuha, but the latter averted her gaze with a click of her tongue before returning to watching you. however, the ballerina could see the affection buried behind the very thin line of displeasure in her eyes, causing her to chuckle, but she stopped when you halted in front of her.

"i'm so excited, zuha-yah." you bounced in front of her.

kazuha smiled and reached for your hand to ground you. "please calm down, unnie."

"i can't!" you whined, pouting.

chaewon came over and attempted to pat your head, but she couldn't reach your height, so she patted your cheek instead.

"you'll get tired if you keep bouncing around, so please sit with yunjin for a while."

yunjin snapped out of her glaring at the mention of her name and panicked internally as she saw you walking up. she yelped, barely catching you as you dramatically fell on her, but she sighed as you nestled up against her embrace.

"you scared me, dumbass."

you chuckled. "sorry. chaewon unnie told me to relax with you."

yunjin scoffed, but tightened her grip around your waist. "relaxing with me doesn't mean falling on me, y/n."

you, on the other hand, did not respond to her. yunjin took a brief glance but ended up staring when she discovered your eyelids had fallen shut.

sakura, who was still sat in front of the mirror, noticed you finally relaxing with the resident american. she smiled at the thought that yunjin was the only one who could ground you. you were always so quick to surrender to yunjin's familiar warmth and soothing embrace, and yunjin was always ready to offer it to you when you needed it.

"they're so cute, unnie!" eunchae squealed, but tried to keep it down as she approached sakura, and the older of the two agreed.

"when is yunjin unnie going to confess though?" kazuha stressed from nearby.

"speaking of." chaewon piped up. "since when, zuha?"

kazuha shrugged. "since forever, unnie! it's actually stressing me out."

the others laughed, and kazuha sighed before joining them. it was peaceful for a while before the group was summoned to the set and you were back on bouncing, but this time in anxiety.

"y/n, please settle down." chaewon sighed.

"i can't stop it!" you whisper-yelled.

kazuha shot yunjin a look, but the american was already approaching you. while you were jumping, a hand grabbed your waist and pulled you into the familiar warmth of yunjin's body. you stumbled, but her other hand darted out to hold your elbow steady.

"calm down please."

you gave her a timid smile, and she rolled her eyes tenderly, squeezing you in assurance. she couldn't feel anything other than admiration right now as she clutched you closely. you enjoyed yunjin's presence while remaining silent, and yunjin did the same before the peace was disrupted once more.

when the chatters were heard, everyone turned, and your eyes widened, meeting the bae joohyun's gentle eyes. you bowed profusely, and she returned it with a wide smile.

although joohyun's bow was meant for everyone, her gaze lingered a little too long on you, which yunjin noticed. her grasp on your waist tightened and she drew you closer, but you were too preoccupied with seeing your beloved idol walk away.

"holy shit, jen."

yunjin resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "yeah, yeah. i know, y/n."

soon enough, the show began, and you spent nearly half of it looking at the woman. you were relieved that you didn't have to speak as much, but whenever you did, chaewon would nudge you out of your daydream and sakura would help you with your words because you seemed to have forgotten how to speak. throughout the ordeal, eunchae was just silently chuckling. 

meanwhile, yunjin was next to you, watching you stare and stumble over your words, sadness in the pit of her stomach physically hidden by a trained grin. kazuha, on the other hand, noticed and patted her on the back.

joohyun didn't take long to notice your dazed stare. she was speaking as scripted, but suddenly laughed, flustered, when she caught your starstruck expression, confusing everyone. you blinked and pointed at yourself, your gaze briefly meeting yunjin's.

"i'm sorry. y/n-ssi, you just look so adorable."

you flushed as crimson as a tomato at the compliment and bowed excessively, words of gratitude stumbling out of your mouth in a hurry. your members teased you as yunjin laughed genuinely this time because she agrees with her senior, heart flipping at the sight of your red face.

"i'm sorry. it's just… i'm a really big fan, sunbaenim." you admitted shyly.

joohyun gave you a wide smile. "seulgi and wendy told me, and i've also seen clips of your… admiration."

you shrieked and used yunjin as your human shield to hide your embarrassment. despite the displeasure she was feeling, yunjin held you while the others laughed before you were pulled out of protection by chaewon.

"and thank you so much for loving me." joohyun said, causing you to bow. 

you were at a loss for words, but the next thing she said prompted you to shut down and flee to hide from everyone.

"but i can say i'm a fan, too, y/n-ssi. your voice is really good to listen to and you're perfect."

you hid among the members of the group's management staff, and yunjin was ready to retrieve you when joohyun beat her to it. with a small frown that she quickly hid, yunjin watched silently as joohyun coaxed you out of hiding.

"i'm sorry, come on. don't hide."

yunjin looked at your joined hands as you practically melted with the senior next to you and in your presence. when the displeasure growing in her chest became too great for her to bear, the american had to look away, but she peered at your flustered state when joohyun successfully drew you back next to her.

the show went on without a hitch except for you being teased for having such admiration for the woman while yunjin remained unusually silent, joining in here and there when she felt like it or when you clutched to her arm.

and yunjin couldn't enjoy your touch as much as she wanted to because your eyes were on someone else. if she wanted your attention, she needed it all. she didn't like sharing. but then again, you weren't hers to share with anyone in the first place.

the show came to a conclusion, and you were swept away by the one and only joohyun. it was obvious that the woman had developed feelings for you, but everyone knew, including yourself, it was joohyun's motherly instincts kicking in.

everyone knew, but yunjin.

yunjin felt she couldn't endure the anguish at the sigh of you being held by another and turned on her heels to flee after seeing how caring and loving joohyun was to you. she attempted to be covert and quick, but as soon as she tried to blend into the crowd, a pair of eyes were trained on the back of her head like a target.

yunjin was soon back at the dorm. she laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. her thoughts was blank, but she was aching all over and wasn't sure if it was because of you or just tiredness. however, she didn't bother figuring it out because your interactions with your favorite idol played out in her head like a romance movie.

yunjin couldn't get it out of her head, no matter how hard she tried.

fortunately, although being out of it at the time, yunjin was able to process the knock on her door. she got to her feet and opened the door, her eyes widening when she saw your hesitant form. her eyes swept over your body, finding you adorable in the pajamas she had bought you at random, and she smiled weakly.

"y/n? it's late."

you shuffled around, refusing to meet her eyes. "i know. i'm sorry, were you already sleeping?"

yunjin shook her head and stepped aside to let you in. "no, no. i couldn't sleep."

you gave her a short smile, and yunjin almost fell over simply to see it again, but she kept her composure as she followed you to her bed. after noticing your hesitation, the american took a seat and motioned for you to do the same.

"is everything okay? did you get a nightmare?" yunjin fussed over you, brows furrowed in worry.

you shook your head. "no, no. i'm fine. i just… wanted to check on you."

yunjin's heart wrenched as you looked up at her, your hesitation spinning in your orbs. the american sighed and reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear before caressing your chin to make you hold her stare, which you had avoided since entering her room.

"i appreciate, but why?" yunjin asked.

you fiddled with your thumbs. "i saw you leaving earlier and you were ignoring me."

yunjin quickly shook her head. she wasn't ignoring you, and she didn't mean to. she just avoided interactions with you in order to process the concept of you and joohyun, but she kept an eye on you throughout the craziness of eventually finishing the day.

"i was not ignoring you, but i'm sorry if it felt like that." yunjin murmured softly, leaning down to meet your gaze. "i was just tired."

but you shook your head. "i know you, jen, we've been friends for so long. what's wrong?"

yunjin frowned, ignoring the painful tug on her heart at the term you used, which was true. the american considered the pros and cons of giving you the truth against fabricating a lie, but the way you were looking at her right now with such vulnerability and worry broke yunjin's resolve.

"i…" yunjin trailed off before sighing. "i've always been content to admire you silently."

yunjin smiled as she opened her mouth to spill her inevitable confession after a quick prayer for her soul and you to take it kindly, ignoring the large part of her wishing that you'd accept her confession.

"i've memorized every single habit you've established over the years, no matter how long ago you developed them or how recently it came up. i have liked every single one of your antics, and no matter how ridiculous they were, i always thought you were so adorable." 

yunjin smiled softly, and you returned it shyly, a scarlet hue flashing over your nose, but then her grin faded slightly. you pricked up, worried, and wanted to reach out to perhaps console her, but you hesitated. you weren't sure if she wanted your comfort, so you opted to listen. yunjin, on the other hand, saw the nearly imperceptible movement of your hand and couldn't help the quick smile.

yunjin sighed. "y/n, i swear i tried. i was perfectly satisfied with just admiring you silently. i tried to ignore the negative side of my feelings—the annoyance, the sadness, the displeasure. everything."

"but i can't pretend you don't effect me anymore, and believe me when i say i don't mind, but it just hurts."

yunjin observed calmly as the gears in your brain turned to quickly absorb her words, but you frowned in uncertainty. yunjin knew you understood; you weren't that stupid. she also knew you needed more assurance and simple words since you were concerned you were reading too much into her little statement.

so yunjin gave you a teary grin because she knew her next words would define your relationship.

"i like you, y/n. more than a friend should."

you hung your head, teeth biting into your bottom lip, as the words smacked you in the face. yunjin stared at the top of your head, willing herself to be prepared for your rejection, but every fiber of her being knew she wouldn't take it well. 

when you raised your head again, her breath caught in her throat as she saw your sweet smile and loving eyes, hope flooding her chest.

"i knew."

it was yunjin's turn to be astounded. her eyes widened as she leaned forward, encouraging you to repeat it and making you laugh.

"you weren't subtle, but i didn't allow it get to my head just in case i was reading too much into your intentions." you grinned happily.

"but you weren't." yunjin mumbled.

you nodded. "turns out i wasn't."

"so?"

you laughed again, and yunjin took satisfaction in it as she saw you toss your head back. but when you leaned into her face with a smirk, the softness in your gaze was swiftly replaced by mischief. yunjin's heart skipped a beat as she tried, but eventually failed, not to gaze down at your lips.

"yunjin?"

she glanced up at you. "yeah?"

"were you jealous of irene unnie?"

yunjin's brow twitched at the title you were now permitted to use for your adored idol, and she tried to control herself, although she had no reason to do so this time. so she rolled her eyes so hard that you were scared they'd get trapped in the back, but you laughed in delight.

"i was not." yunjin denied, looking away.

you poked her nose. "looking away is a sign of lying, did you know that?"

yunjin huffed, but complied. she returned your gaze and her breath hitched once more as your palm reached up to caress her jaw. when you leaned in closer, she swallowed nervously, your warm breath hitting her cold lips. yunjin wanted to close the unpleasant gap between you, but decided to give you complete control.

and yunjin couldn't have been more grateful when you captured her lips.

sparks flew, butterflies swarmed, and every cliche she could think of occurred at the same time. yunjin's eyes fell shut as she tilted her head and reached for your neck to lock you in place.

at the same time, seconds felt both too long and too short. yunjin couldn't determine which of the two, but her attention was quickly drawn to the way you rested your brow against hers and inhaled lightly to catch your breath, which yunjin had taken from you.

"took you long enough." you chuckled. "i like you, too."

yunjin smiled. relief washed over her as her heart flipped a few times and she sought for your hand, the other still resting on your neck, refusing to let you go this time.

"you never dropped hints." yunjin panted.

you shook your head with a small huff. "neither did you, jen, but i just thought you were too perfect to even notice me."

"more perfect than irene sunbaenim?" yunjin joked, not wasting the opportuniy given to her. you gave her a look, almost as if judging the american, causing her to grin. "but i notice you, i do see you."

yunjin brought your hand to her lips and a faint smile appeared on her face, prompting you to return it, albeit sheepishly, as she pressed a kiss to your knuckles.

"and i like you so much, y/n."

you laughed at her goofy antics and squeezed her hand, a blush covering your cheeks that yunjin thought was adorable on you.

"i like you, too, so much, yunjin."

she hummed. "what about irene sunbaenim?"

you chuckled and pulled away to flick her forehead, causing her to yelp in pain.

"what the hell?!"

"joohyun unnie knew about you." you said, causing your girlfriend to frown in confusion. "i told her because unnie noticed the way you were glaring at her."

yunjin flushed. her jealousy was evident to the naked sight. to make matters worse, it was joohyun who noticed. the one she allegedly despised saw the look. you laughed at her, and she flashed you a short frown before sighing.

"i need to apologize and clarify some things."

you nodded in agreement. "you do, baby. you do."

yunjin's heart skipped a beat when she looked at you. you returned it until you felt embarrassed, bending in to avoid her sight. before leaping from the bed, you laid a delicate kiss on her lips. yunjin pouted and reached out to you as you approached the door.

"where are you going, my love? you can just sleep with me."

you smiled, red in the face. "i know, but i'm going to the kitchen; kkura unnie is cooking, and i believe everyone has arrived."

you opened the door and gave her one more look before disappearing down the dimly lighted corridor.

"i luvie you, jennifer huh."

yunjin, who was normally annoyed by your reveluv side because you idolized a particular leader, rolled her eyes fondly as she rose to her feet. before leaving her room to follow you, she picked up her phone and smiled at the lockscreen of your face that you had set a few weeks previously.

"i luvie you, too, l/n y/n."

it had been so long since that horrible meal with your girlfriend's idol friends, which you were certain you didn't want to go through again, and jimin was doing her best to make it up to you despite the scheduling issue between her and yours that seemed to refuse to match.

"i'm so sorry, my love. i can't make it today." jimin apologized quietly over the phone, attempting to fight back tears because she truly wanted to join you for the dinner she had arranged but couldn't because of the company.

"it's fine, baby. i understand. just calm down for me, okay?" you said softly, aware of your girlfriend's anxiety skyrocketing right now.

jimin sniffled silently, covering her face to conceal herself from those around her. "i love you, baby."

"and i love you." you replied sweetly, producing a silly kissing sound from your end to cheer her up.

jimin giggled as she hurried to wipe her tears, but she couldn't since more tears flowed due to her understanding girlfriend. "god. i really love you. i miss you, my y/n."

"i miss you, too, my rina."

there were also times when your schedule clashed with that of your normally busy partner.

"jimin, my boss is making everyone work overtime." you stressed, trying to focus on your task in front of you while talking on the phone with jimin. "i'll be late, i'm so sorry."

"breathe in and out, y/n-ah." jimin said softly, and you quickly obeyed her gentle command. "it's fine, baby. you'll be home, right?"

you huffed, looking up at your boss, who glared at you. "yes, love, i'll be there in an hour or so."

"then, my love, i'll be waiting for you with open arms."

when you and jimin finally met, she would always treat you as if it were her last day with you, while you tried to return the gesture, but jimin refused to make you do anything.

"stop that." jimin whined as she wrapped one arm around your waist from behind, the other reaching around to snatch the ladle from your grasp. "i told you to sit still and be pretty, baby!"

"but i want to help!" you argued, resting your back against her shoulder, causing jimin's arm to tighten around you to hold you closer while cooking.

jimin sighed. "no, y/n. didn't i say i'd make it up to you?"

"but—"

jimin leaned down for a quick second to press a firm kiss on your lips, and your eyes fluttered shut as your lips moved automatically against hers. jimin softly moaned as her fingers slid beneath your shirt and touched your skin. 

however, because jimin didn't want to end up burning down the apartment, the kiss had to be quick, but she tried to make the most of it, knowing that she wouldn't be able to see you properly for the next couple of days due to her idol life.

"i love you." jimin mumbled softly as she giggled and kissed your red ear.

you turned around in her embrace, your red face buried in her neck.  "i love you, too."

that was how the next few weeks were spent, both with and without jimin—broken apologies, quick explanations, soft reassurances, and very rare date nights, whether inside or outside the comfort of your apartment. jimin continued to spoil you and make it up to you whenever she could, but gave in after you convinced her to calm down, which you did because your heart felt like it was about to burst.

naturally, jimin was not the only person in your life. you also had yizhuo and minjeong. last but not least, your best friend, aeri.

you decided to visit the girls during their practice at the company, and minjeong gladly assisted you in getting through to surprise their stressed leader, while it was yizhuo who called you to inform you of jimin's state. jimin didn't notice you at first because she was busy talking to the choreographer, but when she did, she lit up like a christmas tree and sprinted towards you.

"baby?" jimin said softly as she wrapped her arms around your waist and buried her face in your neck.

"surprise?" you mumbled in her ear, tangling your fingers in her hair to brush through the strands as you returned the hug.

jimin chuckled tearfully. "surprise indeed."

"you'd better thank me, unnie!" yizhuo spoke up, crossing her arms.

"and me." minjeong added.

jimin rolled her eyes before pulling away from you to glare at her members, but she kept her grip on your hand. you looked around the dance studio for your best friend and paused when you saw her walk in.

"aeri!" you said, pulling away from jimin to run towards your best friend, wrapping her in an embrace.

aeri tensed up beneath your touch, but you ignored it as you clung to your best friend. jimin returned her gaze to you and her japanese companion, watching as aeri, albeit hesitantly, wrapped her arms around you.

"y/n, hey." aeri murmured as her heart thrashed wildly in her chest, which she tried hard to hide from her leader's probing gaze. regardless, aeri couldn't help but sway you to the nonexistent music while caressing your sides.

as jimin kept a wary eye on aeri, you drew away from the japanese to smile up at her, causing aeri to smile back, but it was small and weak. worried, you opened your mouth to ask her, but the choreographer cut you off by clapping her hands and indicating that it was time to resume practice.

with that, aeri separated from you, avoiding your soft look and your partner's heated gaze. your heart dropped ever so slightly, worried about your best friend. jimin caught your gaze and smiled, which you returned, but you returned your gaze to aeri when your girlfriend looked away, worriedly frowning as you took a seat on the floor.

you sat quietly in the back the entire time, watching the girls and cheering them on whenever one of them struggled a little. you tried to keep your gaze fixed on jimin, who smiled at you through the mirror. you were captivated, as always, by the way jimin danced so effortlessly, looking as stunning as ever despite the sweat. 

your eyes, however, was always drawn to aeri. 

but only because you were worried. you couldn't get the quick and brief interaction you had with her earlier out of your head, growing concerned as she seemed to ignore your presence. aeri didn't bother looking in the mirror to meet your gaze, nor did she turn around to look at you. despite being so close, your best friend seemed to distance herself from you even during short breaks.

"are you okay, baby?" a voice from next to you jolted you out of your trance, and turned to see jimin glancing back and forth at you and aeri, whom you had been staring at. "is there something wrong?"

you shook your head quickly as your heart rate increased due to being caught by none other than jimin herself, but you tried to convince yourself that it was her voice that caused your heart to thrash. 

"no, no, nothing is wrong, love." you reassured, weakly smiling.

but you weren't sure whether you were reassuring jimin or yourself.

jimin locked her gaze on you for a brief moment. she could read you like a book, even if it didn't have anything written on it, because she had known you for a long time. she could see your hesitation and uncertainty right now, which you weren't even aware of. 

but, for your sake and, unknowingly, for hers, jimin nodded, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your lips. you paused for a beat before cupping her cheeks and kissing her back.

aeri glanced at you just in time, but she wished she hadn't. her heart fell to her stomach for the nth time, and she forced herself to look away, willing her heart to stop yearning for your heart, which was already held by someone else.

as the dance practice came to an end, you excused yourself to the restroom for a brief moment, and jimin agreed to wait for you outside. you came to a halt when you saw your best friend bending over the sink, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"aeri?" you called out to her, your heart breaking as you saw your clearly broken best friend.

stunned, aeri tried to wipe her tear-stained cheeks, but she couldn't because the tears kept falling. aeri wasn't sure whether to reassure you or push you away, her exhausted mind scrambling for an excuse. she paused when you forced her to face you, soft hands cupping her reddened cheeks—the same hands that cupped jimin's face earlier, but aeri could only think that they were now holding her cheeks.

"what's wrong?" you asked softly, unknowingly soothing aeri with your mere voice—the same voice that calls jimin loving nicknames, but aeri could only remember that it was she who fell in love with it first.

aeri shook her head, resting her brow against your shoulder to keep her face hidden from you. "nothing, y/n. i'm just stressed."

"about the dance?" you inquired, not wanting to push her but still concerned. "you were amazing, though."

"you think so?" aeri asked, feeling vulnerable and weak against you as she wrapped one arm around her waist and held onto the sink for support, knowing that even if she held onto you, her knees would buckle the longer you held her so lovingly.

"i know so." you replied, giggling softly and pressing your lips against her hair—the same lips that jimin had touched with her own, but aeri could only wish that she was the one you were kissing instead.

"thank you, y/n-ah." aeri said as she drew away.

you smiled. "of course, gi."

there was silence between the two of you, and you found yourself staring at your best friend with soft eyes because you didn't know what to say next. 

but why was your heart racing so loudly right now? 

you hid it on the outside, but you were panicking on the inside as you felt aeri's touch on your waist tingle your skin. it had to be because aeri had been ignoring my presence the entire time, and now that i think about it, aeri had been ignoring me since that dinner with their idol friends, you thought to yourself, brows furrowing in confusion.

meanwhile, aeri admired your worried but pretty face, her heart jumping excitedly to her throat.

she gulped nervously and opened her mouth to speak, unable to keep quiet any longer. "you look—"

but aeri couldn't finish her thought because another voice interrupted her. "y/n, my love?"

aeri looked up as you turned around, both of you watching as jimin entered with a worried expression on her face. jimin smiled at you, but paused as she cast a wary glance at aeri, who returned her timid smile.

"ah, baby. sorry!" you apologized, reaching out to take jimin's hand in yours.

"is everything all right?" jimin inquired before looking up at aeri and noticing her red eyes. jimin's leader instincts kicked in as her eyes softened. "gigi? your eyes are red."

aeri waved her hand dismissively and turned away, her heart heavy not only with jealousy for jimin, but also with guilt as a result of jimin's genuine concern. "i'm fine, unnie."

"you should get going before you're late for your date." aeri added, smiling weakly.

jimin frowned, but nodded, despite her desire for more definitive answers. you smiled reassuringly at aeri, who returned it in kind, her heart pounding loudly in her ear. aeri watched as jimin led you out of the restroom and she nearly collapsed if it weren't for her grip on the sink, her hand flying to cover her mouth as a sob wrack through her throat.

"—so gorgeous."

soon after, you and jimin became overly busy, with neither of you having much time to spend with the other. 

as your phone rang for the fourth time tonight, you answered it blindly while moving around with your coworkers. despite how tired you were, you both tried to apologize and explain, and you were both understanding, but jimin couldn't deny the underlying exhaustion of another kind, which you tried to ignore, but, whether you liked it or not, this kind of setup was seriously draining you too much.

it didn't help that you were also dealing with another set of emotions.

most of the time, you'd come home to an empty apartment, but you'd grown accustomed to it, so the rare occasions when jimin was able to come home to you would surprise you as if it were a stranger in your home rather than your girlfriend.

"hello?" you mumbled, pausing when you heard the familiar but weak giggle on the other end of the line. "rina? shit."

"hello to you, too, baby." jimin said softly as she looked around the empty living room of their dorm. "are you alright there?"

you sighed, exhausted. "sorry, baby. i'm working overtime. are you home?"

"no, i'm at the dorms." jimin replied softly as she leaned back against the plush pillows of the couch, nibbling on her bottom lip as the desire to see you overcame her.

you nodded despite the fact that you knew she couldn't see you. "shouldn't you be resting, then?"

"i needed to hear your voice first." jimin mumbled softly, pouting.

you chuckled quietly. "how was your day?"

"very tiring!" jimin complained as she hugged the plush pillow, pretending to be you. "i hate my job sometimes."

"i do, too." you grumbled, sandwiching the phone between your ear and shoulder and setting the papers down on your desk. "you and the girls don't get any rest at all."

jimin let out a weak laugh. "well, tomorrow is a rest day; are you available?"

you frowned and bit your lower lip in shame. "i'm afraid i'm not baby..."

jimin sighed and nodded slowly, her sad eyes fixed on the pillow. "i hate your stupid boss."

you burst out laughing. "speaking of, i see him."

"call me when you get home?" jimin asked, her heart pounding. she didn't want to let you go, but she also didn't want you fired.

"i promise, i love you." you mumbled weakly, your heart hurting at the sound of your soft girlfriend's weak voice.

"i love you, too."

jimin sighed as the phone call ended. her mind raced with so many ideas, but it all came down to the fact that she despised both of your hectic schedules, particularly hers. jimin stared blankly at the ceiling, but her vision was distorted by the tears that refused to leave her eyes.

"you look stupid, unnie." 

jimin jumped in surprise and turned around, tears streaming down her cheeks, when she heard the voice.

"ah, giselle." jimin mumbled, rushing to catch her tears and compose herself, but failing miserably. "why are you awake?"

aeri frowned worriedly before sitting next to Jimin, ready to console her because, even though she was her crush's girlfriend, jimin was and always will be her sister, leader, and friend.

"what happened?" aeri asked quietly.

"nothing is happening. i hate it." jimin replied, huffing angrily, and she went on to explain when aeri just stared at her in confusion. "y/n and i haven't been able to see each other in a few weeks because of my idol career, which is frustrating."

"y/n has her own job as well, and her boss is making everyone work overtime." jimin added.

aeri sighed sympathetically, finding it difficult to discuss jimin's romantic involvement with you, but she continued to comfort and support her leader. jimin continued to rant about the situation, oblivious to aeri's internal conflict, before finally breaking down in the arms of the japanese girl.

aeri sighed and patted jimin on the back. "i'm sure there will be time for you two to meet up soon, unnie."

jimin sobbed quietly, "i want my girlfriend."

i want your girlfriend, too, aeri thought to herself, but soon felt guilty for her audacity. not wanting to betray both sides, aeri silently wallowed in her own longing, but continued to console her sad leader.

as promised, you called jimin as soon as you got home and engaged in a sweet and soft conversation with her while getting ready for bed, exchanging declarations of love and words of reassurance, but the call ended due to jimin falling asleep. you were ranting about something you couldn't remember then your girlfriend was snoring softly, which you found so adorable that you couldn't bring yourself to wake her up or get angry with her.

so you stayed with her on the phone for a few more minutes before hanging up and going to bed.

you were unsure of what to expect the following day. sure, you were aware of the upcoming busy day due to some projects that your boss had assigned to everyone, to the point where you were unable to check your phone, which kept vibrating due to notifications from family and friends. 

when you finally got a chance to check your phone in the restroom, you were astounded by the number of messages and missed calls.

"what the hell is going on?" you wondered as you scrolled through it.

here are a few notifications on your lockscreen, ranging from worried to enraged:

have you seen it?

girl, answer the phone.

y/n, where are you?

are you still working? 

the fuck do they mean?

please answer!

check your phone!

16 missed calls from mom.

you didn't get to continue scrolling because you frowned at the last two notifications before scrambling to open your social media account, heart racing wildly in your chest, but the photo that greeted you made you pause, wondering whether you should be thankful or regretful.

nonetheless, what you saw caused your heart to shatter. dispatch they had taken a photo of your girlfriend with jeno, stating nonsense in their article headlines.

aespa karina and nct dream jeno rumored to be dating!

"i'd date karina," you remembered jeno saying when chenle made a joke about who yizhuo would date and was overheard by everyone.

you leaned against the sink and covered your mouth as a sob got stuck in your throat, hoping not to alert any of your coworkers. while you examined the photograph, your heart pounded painfully against your ribcage. despite the masks, you could see jeno smile down at jimin while she was laughing happily with her head thrown back—the same way she laughed whenever she was with you.

your vision blurred as tears filled your eyes, making it difficult to see your phone screen clearly, but you did notice your girlfriend's name at the top of the messaging app, 46 unread messages from jimin, before it was quickly replaced by another name, which had just come in.

i'm on my way, y/n. stay put.

you collapsed as your knees weakened and unbuckled, clutching your phone to your chest in a futile attempt to stop your heart from beating so fast while you tried to catch your breath.

not only was your heart hurting, but it was also skipping a beat.

you curled up against yourself, tears streaming down your cheeks nonstop, trying to tune out the loud ringing in your ears that your mind mistook for jeno's taunting laugh while you waited for someone, brokenly whispering her name into the air.

"aeri..."

nikko note: i'm late, but since you asked, i'll deliver. also, sorry to disappoint, but this is not a comeback. i just stopped by because why not? if you've read this, goddamn, you still remember me? huhu. i feel like my skills are rusty now due to not being able to write since i said good bye to y'all, so i'm really sorry if this is a shit quality fic. but thank you for making it till the end, you guys! part 3 will be released in 2026 (🤭). just kidding. who knows? anyway, see y'all around!

this was not how you expected your evening to go.

you'd think that if jimin brought you to a night out with her idol friends, she'd make you feel at ease. you didn't know them and weren't close to them because you weren't an idol. you knew their names, but not who they truly are as people. 

so you expected jimin, your girlfriend, to look after you or at least talk to you in this restaurant she had taken you to. however, the moment the two of you entered the restaurant, she was whisked away by her idol friends, leaving you alone and perplexed because she didn't even look back at you or drag you along with her.

as you watched her interact with jeno and minjeong, you ignored the pain in your chest. her smile was definitely not that big when it was directed at you earlier today, but you assumed your girlfriend was just excited to see them and let it slip, and looked away when you noticed someone approaching you out of the corner of your eyes.

"aeri!"

the japanese smiled broadly at you and embraced you, which you eagerly returned. yizhuo appeared behind aeri and replaced the japanese girl, pushing the older girl away because she was taking her time embracing you. as you wrapped your arms around yizhuo, you sent an apologetic look to aeri, and the japanese shyly smiled back.

"come, unnie, meet the others!"

the guys were introduced to you by aeri and yizhuo, but you weren't paying attention because your gaze was fixed on the guy jimin was talking to. jeno had this expression on his face, and you recognized it because jimin has it whenever she looks at you, and you know you have it too when jimin does something ridiculously adorable. he had this wide soft smile on his face and crescent moon-shaped eyes as he watched jimin enthusiastically talk about something you couldn't really hear because they were too far away from you. they were standing close, perhaps a little too close for comfort because one wrong move and their skin would come into contact.

you shifted your gaze away when you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder. aeri frowned at you, her brows furrowed in worry, and you raised your brows in silent question.

"are you okay?" aeri asked, looking over at yizhuo, who was fighting with chenle.

you couldn't help but curse the japanese. when it comes to you, nothing would escape the notice of your best friend. aeri knew you too well, so even if you tried to lie your way out of this situation, she could still question you later.

"yes, ri. i'm fine." you smiled reassuringly, but aeri could see how it didn't reach your eyes as easily as it usually did. she couldn't ask you any more questions about it because you turned to shake mark's hand, who grinned cutely.

jimin, whose attention was drawn by the arguing duo, turned to scold them but stopped when she noticed you talking with mark. she watched you lean in as mark whispered something into your ear and you laughed, a red tint appearing across your cheeks, causing the canadian to smile lightly. a frown appeared on jimin's face, her ears turned red, and you would be able to tell she was jealous if only you looked at her. 

however, you were too busy laughing with aeri and mark.

"come on, let's go! i'm hungry!"

due to haechan's insistent whining, everyone gathered around the table. jimin would normally pull a chair out for you, but she didn't. instead, she took jeno's hand as he drew her chair out, causing you to look at her in disbelief, which she did not return as she left you standing and continued talking to jeno and minjeong.

"here, y/n." as aeri pulled out the chair next to your girlfriend, she gave you an apologetic look, causing you to smile sadly at her.

"thank you, gigi."

jimin gave you a quick glance and watched you sit down with aeri's assistance, but she quickly turned away when the japanese gave her a hard glare. jimin felt bad for leaving you standing and strange because she was always pulling out your chair. however, her jealousy returned in full force when she heard you talking to mark, so she turned her attention to jeno.

both you and jimin were preoccupied with something or someone else while waiting for the food. it perplexed the boys, at least the ones introduced to you, as they stared at you and jimin literally back to back, not facing each other even once or uttering a single word between you two.

as much as it irritated you to hear your girlfriend laugh at someone else's stupid jokes, aka jeno's and occasionally minjeong's clumsy antics, rather than yours, your pride and annoyance won out. you scooted closer to aeri, the chair making a noise that drew jimin's attention to you as you rested your head against aeri's shoulder.

aeri tensed up, but relaxed once she realized it was you. "hey there."

"hey, gigi." you whispered. "can you help me out?"

"with… what?" as she trailed off, you could hear the hesitation in her voice. honestly, you were unsure about this as well, and aeri was aware of it. she pushed through her words, however, because she was curious of what you had in mind.

"making jimin jealous."

aeri knew it was a bad idea. she knew jimin would raise hell if you push her buttons, but how could she say no to your innocent face resting against her shoulder right now? more importantly, aeri was irritated by the way her leader was behaving.

so aeri nodded and rested her head against yours. you could see jimin glaring daggers at the two of you out of the corner of your eye, but she remained silent and returned to her conversation with the others, mainly jeno.

"y/n, do you wanna hear a joke?"

as you watched haechan wiggle his brows at you, you laughed. some of his members groaned, and jisung from across the table shook his head at you, but you wanted to give the boy a chance, so you nodded.

"alright. give it a shot, haechan."

mark sighed. "y/n, you're gonna regret that."

"yah! don't say that!"

you were having a good time because the boys were entertaining, especially haechan, who made the entire table laugh with his antics. although your girlfriend's behavior irritated you, you clung to aeri, trying to ignore the jealousy that bubbled up in your chest whenever you saw jimin smack jeno's arm.

you didn't know, but jimin, on the other hand, kept an eye on the japanese. she trusted aeri, but that was her girlfriend clinging on her arm. nonetheless, jimin interacted a bit too much with jeno.

soon enough, the food arrived. jimin turned to you out of habit to assist you with your food, but aeri had already beaten her to it. the leader watched with glaring eyes as aeri smiled gently at you, listening to you blabber about how much you love the food, and then filled your plate with it.

aeri shook her head in disbelief. "you always eat this, y/n/n."

you pouted at her. "what? you can't blame me! it's just so good, gigi."

"i know, i know." 

at the sight of your adorable pout, aeri couldn't help but pinch your cheeks, her nose scrunched. jimin tensed up next to you, her brow furrowed, but she averted her gaze when minjeong spoke, catching your and aeri's attention.

"unnie, can you get me that?" asking politely, the girl pointed at the dish in front of jimin.

jimin smiled at her, causing the girl to flush lightly in embarrassment. "of course, jeong-ie."

your nose scrunched in disapproval at jimin's response, and your eyes squinted as your girlfriend did as she was told, even filling minjeong's plate. aeri noticed the sadness and jealousy in your eyes and placed a hand on your knee, diverting your attention to mark, who was answering renjun's random question.

it helped divert your attention away from your admittedly stupid actions and jealousy and toward nark, whom you found genuinely admirable that you couldn't help but compliment.

"wow. you're so cool."

mark stammered, unsure how to respond to your sudden compliment because you had just stared at him, dumbfounded, earlier. the table erupted into cheers and teasing, haechan reaching over to smack him, but mark had hidden his face behind his palms.

"i was just complimenting him." you tried to defuse the situation, but your words only made mark's face flush further.

jimin scoffing and tasting not the food but the disbelief on her tongue as you struggled to get everyone to stop. she side-eyed the still-blushing canadian as she stuffed her mouth with food, but her eyes widened in surprise when a hand from her right brushed her hair away from her face. she looked at jeno, who smiled back.

"let me just…" jeno trailed off, tucking her hair behind her ears. "there."

jimin cleared her throat. "thank you."

jeno's smile widened, and jimin turned to face you, who were watching the interaction as you sat back down in your seat. when your girlfriend's gaze met yours, you quickly averted your gaze. jimin sighed, disappointed and frustrated by your refusal to even look her way or interact with her.

the night progressed without a single interaction between you two, and as the seconds passed, you began to crave your girlfriend's attention and warmth. you tried to divert your attention by conversing with the other, but your gaze was drawn to your right, where your girlfriend sat, quietly giggling with jeno, who smiled as if he had won the lottery.

jimin, on the other hand, was just putting up an act, not wanting to come off as rude despite the fact her head's about to explode from the headache caused by your actions and jeno himself, and wanted nothing more than to snatch you from aeri's arm and be the one making you laugh right now instead of mark and haechan. however, your girlfriend being known as a prideful person, jimin didn't do anything.

that being said, at some point during the evening, you gave in and reached out for jimin's hand on the table. you tried to take her hand in yours, but the moment your skin touched hers, she jumped as if burned and dropped your hand, causing your heart to drop down to your stomach.

the pain spreading across your chest was unbearable that you didn't notice you had averted your to the palms of your hands, which you had dropped in your lap, tears obscuring your previously clear vision. however, before your thoughts could go haywire, you felt a gentle grip on your left hand and it was moved to another's lap.

you raised your head, sniffling quietly, and saw aeri smile at you. the japanese subtly wiped away a tear that had slipped and pinched your cheek.

"hey, i got you." she whispered softly.

you nodded, still sniffling. "okay."

"is she okay?" you heard mark asking quietly as you tried your best to compose yourself, and you gave him a weak smile when he tried to look at you, which he returned.

"something just got in her eyes."

you saw mark nod and he gave you another smile, in which you oddly enough found comfort. you returned it, but it was wider this time, prompting the canadian to nod and join renjun and jaemin's conversation. you squeezed aeri's hand, drawing her attention away from yizhuo and chenle. the japanese raised her brows in silent question, leaning forward.

"thank you, gi."

aeri smiled with a twinkle in her eyes that you couldn't recognize. "of course, y/n/n."

with aeri and mark making sure you were okay, all was going well, as well as this dinner could go at least. but not until chenle asked his best friend, yizhuo, a question that was meant to be a joke but was so loud that everyone heard it.

"oh? oh? who would you date at this table?"

haechan perked up. "well, that's an interesting question."

you and jimin both remained silent. you had nothing to say to that since you were dating jimin, and the leader had no plans to respond because she already had you. jimin glanced at your hand in aeri's hand, frowning sadly before turning to face jeno, who had leaned forward to answer the question.

"i'd date karina."

the entire table fell silent at jeno's response, the stupidly innocent boy staring right into jimin's eyes, and you watched as your girlfriend stared back, her eyes wide in surprise. you, on the other hand, could feel anger coursing through your veins as you glared at the boy, which the boy, unfortunately, did not notice.

"hyung?" chenle hissed quietly from next to yizhuo, who shuffled uncomfortably in her seat and looked at you with concern.

the other boys looked at jeno in disbelief, all thinking the same thing that renjun couldn't help but mutter. "idiot."

"thank you." jimin couldn't say anything because her worried eyes were fixed on you, hoping you'd look at her, but you shifted your gaze from jeno to the table.

"y/n."

when another voice joined the conversation, everyone was taken aback. jimin almost got whiplash from turning her head so quickly to look at the person who spoke, her eyes blazing with fire. you jumped out of your skin when your name was mentioned, your eyes wide.

"mark. what did you say?" jimin hissed, voice laced with venom, no longer caring about honorifics. you cast a worried glance at your girlfriend, who returned it but quickly averted her gaze to continue glaring at the canadian.

mark, on the other hand, was not scared of the younger woman and was not moved by her abrupt change of attitude. instead, he simply smiled, a small glint of mischief in his eyes.

"i said. i'd date y/n."

"are you stupid?" renjun grumbled underneath his breath. his members, with the exception of jeno, who had no idea what was going on, were all on edge, giving their leader both panicked and disbelieving looks.

the heavy atmosphere could be cut with a knife as the table fell silent. everyone was looking at jimin as her brow twitched, which was your cue to stop your girlfriend from exploding. 

everyone flinched when two chairs pushed back so hard that they made an ear-damaging screech and a loud banging noise. as you stood in front of your girlfriend, staring at her and holding her wrist in a vice-like grip, the rest of the table looked at you, wide-eyed. you were so quick, in fact, that you predicted your girlfriend would jump out of her seat.

"jimin."

mentioned woman shifted her gaze away from mark and into your eyes, not liking the intensity swirling in your orbs. she frowned and drew you out of the restaurant, giving the smiling canadian one last look.

"what was that?" jimin asked, voice stern, as she abruptly turned around to face you once you were both out in the cold winter air that greeted you a little too eagerly, snow falling around you, and you almost bumped into your girlfriend's chest.

with her wrist still in your hand, you returned jimin's glare. "i should be asking you that, jimin."

jimin scoffed at the name, ignoring the sound of her heart shattering. "i was just stopping him from flirting with you, is that so wrong?"

"i could've handled that!" you responded and out of frustration, threw her wrist away, causing jimin to frown. "and he was clearly joking!"

"oh, so you're gonna let him flirt jokingly with you, is that it, huh?" jimin glared in disbelief.

you laughed, but it was emotionless and jimin could tell. "jeno was flirting the whole time and even a blind person could see he's serious, but you still let him."

"flirting? he's my friend and i was catching up with him!" jimin argued back even though she knew her argument was useless because you were right.

"jeno's your friend, i'm your girlfriend!" you poked her chest for emphasis, causing her to step back with every jab of your finger. "you ignored me the entire night to catch up with him, karina!"

jimin's face fell as her stage name slipped easily off your tongue. if her real name was painful enough, how much more so if you mentioned her stage name? jimin glared at you, tears welling up in her eyes, and watched you cry right in front of her.

"and you made me jealous in retaliation, y/n!"

"because you wouldn't look at me! you didn't even introduce me as your girlfriend, karina! your members had to do it themselves! is ningning my girlfriend? or giselle?" you emphasized, causing jimin to return her gaze to you at the mention of your japanese best friend's name.

jimin's brow twitched. "they knew! i mentioned that i'm bringing my girlfriend tonight!"

"and yet jeno still flirted with you!" you huffed indignantly. "you didn't even stop him, not even once!"

"this is ridiculous." jimin groaned in frustration, dragging her hand down her face to avoid looking at your angry face.

you gasped, offended. 

"ridiculous?! you dropped my fucking hand, karina!" you pushed on her chest, and she let you, biting her lower lip to keep from crying and staring at you silently. "to catch up with friends apparently named jeno!"

you knew it was wrong to argue like this in public, but your emotions took precedence over logic. your chest felt heavy and your mind was racing from all that had happened tonight, so you needed to get rid of the frustrations as soon as possible, which unfortunately had to be the case.

"of course i would catch up! i haven't seen them in months!" jimin, still not backing down, yelled back.

jimin didn't have an excuse for dropping your hand, which she knew was a stupid move on her part despite the fact that all she wanted to do all night was hold your hand for her own comfort and to show everyone you were hers. she realized it was stupid as soon as she lifted her hand to drop yours, but she couldn't do anything because your hand fell and was soon found in someone else's lap.

"oh, i'm sure they're enthralled by you, karina!" you said, your voice sarcastic. you wiped your tears away, only to have more fall down your cheeks. "trust me. trust me. jeno did say he'd date you. brushing your hair, smiling so wide like a lovesick puppy, of course!"

jimin clenched her jaw, not wanting to be reminded by that question and the two responses that came after it. "and mark said he'd date you."

"we're still not done with this?" you laughed in disbelief. "you couldn't tell it was a joke?"

she nodded stubbornly. "yeah, okay. he's joking, fine. and what about giselle, huh? you were clinging to her the entire night!"

"i wouldn't have done it if you had paid attention to me! if only you would pay attention to me, not just jeno." you screamed, your throat becoming scratchy from how loud you were.

jimin tried to speak, but her words died in her throat as your shoulders sagged. as you sobbed quietly into your palms, the idol's lips trembled, and her pride finally yielded. jimin moved closer to take you into her arms, not moving even when you gave her weak punches to her shoulders in an attempt to push her away.

jimin winced in pain, but pressed small kisses to your temple. "i'm sorry."

it didn't take long before you stopped struggling in her embrace and jimin wrapped her arms around your waist, hiding her face in your shoulder. you sniffled against her hair, still slapping her, but not as hard because you were tired of all the stupid fighting.

"i don't know these people, karina! yet they are the ones who made me feel comfortable tonight!"

"i know and i'm so sorry. i'm sorry i dropped your hand. i'm sorry i let jeno flirt with me. i'm sorry i didn't pay attention to you. i'm so, so sorry, y/n, baby, please forgive me."

jimin sniffled against your shoulder, unable to hold back her tears due to how your tired shouting sounded right next to her ears, and quickly soaked the fabric of your shirt with her tears.

"i just want your attention, rina." you whimpered.

jimin nodded weakly. "i'm sorry, baby. i'm so, so sorry."

you wrapped your arms around her shoulders, and jimin drew you in even closer, needing your comfort and providing it for you.

"i don't want to lose you. i'm sorry, please don't date jeno. i'm sorry for making you jealous. please." 

jimin rubbed your back as you sobbed against her, pulling back to look into your tear-stained face.

"you won't lose me. i promise i won't leave you. i swore and i'm telling you this again. i will never, ever leave you." jimin whispered, wiping your tears away.

you sniffled quietly as you gripped her top in your hand, finally finding her familiar comfort. "promise?"

jimin pressed her lips against yours, closing the gap. you responded quickly and felt her tears against your cheeks, prompting you to place one hand on her face and gently caress her cheek with your thumb. you chased the comfort and attention that you both failed to give to each other tonight due to petty actions and stupid behaviors, melting against each other in the snowy night.

you pulled away and jimin pursued you, but she stopped when she saw you breathing heavily and settled on resting her forehead on yours, breaths intermingling between you.

"i promise. let me make it up to you?"

mark turned to face the person who couldn't keep herself quiet after hearing a sigh next to him. the canadian blinked as he watched aeri turn her head away from the windows. curious, he peered out and saw jimin kissing your hand as she led you away.

"it's her, isn't it?"

aeri flinched, glancing at mark, who didn't miss the tears in her eyes, which she desperately tried to hide by blinking back.

"who?" aeri queried, her brow furrowed in confusion as she avoided mark's scrutinizing gaze.

"y/n." the canadian simply responded.

aeri chuckled, the bitterness not escaping mark's ears. "the one you want to date?"

mark scoffed, shaking his head. "the one you like."

at mark's statement, the japanese member tensed up, her heart racing wildly in her chest. mark was stating rather than asking. aeri chuckled nervously and opened her mouth to deny it, looking around to make sure no one was listening and was relieved to see them looking at you and jimin instead, but her excuses quickly died in her throat when mark gave her a stern look.

"yeah."

aeri wasn't supposed to be happy that you turned to her right away to make your girlfriend, jimin, jealous. her heart wasn't supposed to do stupid backflips all over when your skin brushed against hers mindlessly. she wasn't supposed to feel shivers down her spine whenever you spoke gently to her. she wasn't supposed to be so concerned with whether you noticed her clammy hand in your grip. she wasn't supposed to smile so brightly and happily whenever you complimented or thanked her.

uchinaga aeri wasn't supposed to feel this way.

yet, guiltily, she was.

"i like her."

uchinaga aeri likes y/n l/n, her best friend and yu jimin's girlfriend.

"i'm sorry, but i like her so much."

nikko note: hi, everyone! another request that took so long HWHAHSA i am so sorry. if you can't tell, i am a swiftie! i listened to the short film of all too well while writing this. thank you for reading! i hope you liked this! <333

"bam, bam, bam."

"like this?"

"no, no. like this."

the members watched you teach the specific part of the dance that eunchae couldn't seem to grasp. the maknae had been struggling for a while, and when you noticed her stumbling and pausing in the mirror, you decided to give her a bit of time, but eventually stepped in because the poor girl was on the verge of crying.

you could tell because a pout was forming on her lips.

so there you were, demonstrating the dance to eunchae, and she was staring at you intently, her gaze shifting from your figure standing right next to her to the mirror. she tried to imitate it, but she stumbled, causing her to cling to your arm, whining in embarrassment.

"unnie~"

however, as the ever-patient unnie that you are, you smiled reassuringly and affectionately patted her head. eunchae leaned against your shoulders and stomped her foot childishly. the members cooed, yunjin grabbing her phone from the floor to record the cute moment before it ended.

"i know, it's okay. here." you picked up your water bottle and handed it to the maknae, who was quick to down it.

you tapped her chin when she pouted at you, and she immediately paid attention. when you signaled, the choreographer played the song and you danced slowly to it, eyes locked with eunchae.

"you have to watch your footing here." you spoke louder so the girls could hear you over the music, and they were in the back so you could properly teach eunchae, offering support every now and then.

"let me try again." eunchae said, her face and voice determined, causing everyone to scream excitedly.

"hong eunchae!"

"you've got this!"

"eunchae! eunchae!"

"slay, baby gorl!"

"if you nail it, i'll treat you to dinner."

eunchae had never whipped her head so fast. hearing your sacred vow, she gave you a wide-eyed stare. she would never turn down free food. 

furthermore, it was you. 

you were extremely generous.

you smiled at her eyes blazing at the mention of free food and you took the empty bottle from the maknae. the choreographer played the song at normal speed again and you danced calmly while watching eunchae finally nail the dance through the mirror.

the maknae exchanged a shocked look with you, her steps faltering, and you simply smiled proudly. "you did it, eunchae-ah."

more applause erupted in the room and quick footsteps approached you two, grabbing the maknae in a bear hug.

"we're so proud of you." chaewon held eunchae's face in her hands, proudly looking at her, while yunjin excitedly shook the maknae. sakura was beaming, her hands running up and down eunchae's back, and kazuha was complimenting her.

"you did so well." kazuha said, causing yunjin to nod in agreement. "you did it better than me."

eunchae giggled, loving the attention. "ask y/n unnie to teach you!"

that's how eunchae directed the attention to you. you were simply standing by the side, admiring their interactions, when yunjin dashed over, followed by the others.

"teach me as well, y/n/n!"

you watched yunjin cling to you, childishly pouting. you were cringing at your fellow '01 liner, which was visible on your face, but deep down you thought the american was cute.

you couldn't say anything because kazuha was in front of you. "me, too."

you let out a sigh. "come on, guys. you weren't even having any trouble earlier."

sakura then spoke up, approaching with the leader on her tail. "i think i'm having a problem with the ending."

chaewon nodded in acknowledgement. "i find the opening quite hard."

eunchae cackled as she saw the chaos she had caused. you gave the young girl a not-so-scary glare from across the room. well, you couldn't really give her that look if she was acting so cute.

eunchae simply stuck her tongue out, teasing you even more. "my free food, unnie!"

"whatever, manchae."

before you knew it, the day had come to an end and the girls had to return to their dorm. you were staying back for a while, and they wanted to join you, but you shook your head because you knew if they stayed, you wouldn't be able to get anything done.

"but unnie~" eunchae whined. "you promised free food!"

"i did, but i didn't say that it was tonight." you teased, causing the maknae to tug repeatedly on your arm.

"come on now, y/n/n. you can come in early tomorrow, it's late." yunjin pouted at you. 

the american knew you were weak when it comes to their cute faces and actions, making you avert your eyes. however, you regretted it because kazuha was giving you puppy eyes from next to sakura.

you groaned. "i'll be home in an hour or two, guys."

"too long." eunchae grumbled, attention now on the sleeve of your jacket.

chaewon finally stepped in, fortunately for you and unfortunately for the girls. "come on, children. she'll be home before you know it."

even though the short-haired girl wanted to disagree, she couldn't. besides, she trusted you enough to come home right away and she really just couldn't say no to you; she wouldn't admit it, but she knew that.

even the girls knew. but they couldn't tease her because angry chaewon is a force to be reckoned with.

the maknaes and yunjin sighed at the leader's approval. they took their time giving you big hugs and they actually wouldn't have pulled away if sakura hadn't intervened. the eldest drew you in for a hug, gently squeezing you.

"keep in touch, okay? be quick."

you nodded. chaewon gave you one last look, which made you shiver but also smile and wave. the two oldest pushed the other three out of the room, their whines audible even after the door was closed.

"they're so clingy." the choreographer remarked, amused.

you laughed. "very, unnie. now what was my part again?"

with that, you and the choreographer worked on the dance, with her teaching you and you picking it up quickly, which she praised. although, admittedly, it was hard. it was a little complicated and it was different from what the other girls had learned for their solo parts.

the night went on until it was time to go home, but you stayed a little longer. you bowed as the choreographer said goodbye, your fingers busy typing on the phone to send a quick message to chaewon. 

you'd definitely get an earful when you got home, but it'd be toned down a little because you remembered to send her a message.

you didn't the last time... 

well.

it's probably best not to bring it up.

with the little extra time you had—

actually, chaewon did not give you permission. you looked down at your phone, which was currently blowing up with text messages.

perhaps this would be worse than the last time, you cringed at the thought.

you focused on the task at hand while shaking your head. chaewon could wait. hopefully. you watched yourself as you danced to the song with such fluidity and power, cringing whenever there was a slight mistake.

If the girls were there, they'd notice the way you scrunched your nose and cheer you on, knowing how much of a perfectionist you were. however, you were only met with the song playing in the background.

minutes passed, many scrunches of the nose were shown at the same time errors were spotted before the mind could even realize, as if the action was now out of reflex. they were minor errors, but you didn't like them.

so you danced.

polished.

danced.

and polished.

but before you knew it, you were plummeting to the ground. a loud hiss of pain echoed through the room and you quickly covered it with one hand, as if someone else would hear it over the loud music, and tears quickly blurred your vision as you hugged your leg to your chest.

you pushed yourself up, noticing the sweater you'd discarded, the one you'd dropped carelessly on the floor and the one that caused you to slip.

"who the hell drops their stuff like that?" you grumbled, tears sliding down your cheeks.

you reached for your foot, groaning from the pain wracking your entire body, particularly your foot. as you untied your shoelace, you were crying and trying to keep your hiccups to yourself, afraid someone would hear you.

"shit."

as you stared at your foot, the only thing you could mutter was the curse word. 

a sprain, you thought. 

you attempted to move it, which you were quick to regret. you inhaled a large amount of air into your lungs in response to the pain shooting through your leg. 

you cried out, no longer bothered if someone else heard you. "fuck, fuck, fuck."

you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to push the pain away. your mind was racing with panicked thoughts. how am i going to get home? how am i going to dance now? 

you glanced at your phone, which had lit up because chaewon had sent you another message, but your gaze was drawn to the date and time.

the clock had struck twelve o'clock. this means you have a schedule later today, a dance practice tomorrow, and a performance the day after tomorrow. 

this means you would have to suffer for three days at least.

of course you weren't going to tell the girls. you didn't want to add to what they already had on their plate.

however, you were still in a state of panic. you had no idea how to pull that off, pretending not to be in pain while dancing your ass off and acting fine.

when your phone rang, you snapped out of it. chaewon unnie. you reached for it and quickly shut your eyes, not because of chaewon's reprimanding voice, but because of another shot of pain from your foot.

"where are you?! it's midnight!"

you breathed shakily. "i'm on my way home, unnie."

"make it quick, y/n/n. i'm worried here."

"yeah, i know. i'll be quick."

"be careful, okay?"

"mhm."

the call ended there. chaewon pulled the phone away from her ear, her gaze fixed on the screen. she heard faint music playing in the background on the other end of the line, indicating that you were still at the building. 

what worried her was your weak voice and the shaky intake of air, both of which were audible to her ears.

is she okay? god, i hope so. 

chaewon cast a glance at eunchae, who had fallen asleep on the couch while waiting for you. the maknae refused to sleep without you, claiming she would get cuddles because you didn't give her free food tonight. they sat in the living room for thirty minutes before the girl fell asleep.

chaewon paced around the living room, keeping her footsteps light so as to not wake the sleeping maknae on the couch. her gaze would dart back and forth between the clock and the door, hoping you'd already come in, and her frown became deeper as the minutes passed.

patience running thin, chaewon snatched the nearest coat, which happened to be yours, and walked to the door, groaning. she was going to meet you halfway, wherever you were, because her heart couldn't stop pounding. she reached for the doorknob, but it turned on its own, the door swinging open in front of her.

when she saw your half-covered face, she breathed a sigh of relief. you tilted your head, perplexed as to why she seemed ready to leave, but you bit your lower lip as she pulled you inside the dorm and into her arms.

"you got me worried!" chaewon scolded, a harsh slap being delivered to your shoulder.

you forced a chuckle as you adjusted your injured foot, attempting to return her tight hug, while resisting the urge to melt into her and cry. "i'm sorry, unnie. i had to walk home."

chaewon drew back to look you in the eyes, you were thankful it was dark so she wouldn't notice your pale skin, laying a hand on your cheek. "you should've told me."

you leaned down, planting a kiss on her head to reassure her you were safe and sound now. "i'm sorry. i will next time."

chaewon quickly shook her head. "there will be no next time. you're such a hardhead."

"i guess i got it from you." you chuckled, looking around and pausing when you saw eunchae.

chaewon followed your gaze, her own eyes softening. "she waited for you. well, tried to."

guilt gnawed at you. you would have gotten home to eunchae's cheeriness and whinings if you hadn't been such a perfectionist earlier. 

you sighed and walked over to the couch, crouching down with a wince. you brushed her bangs away before tapping her cheek with your finger, to which she awoke and grabbed your wrist.

"i'm home." you whispered softly, tracing her nose.

eunchae giggled sleepily, finding the action ticklish. "welcome home."

you hummed. "come on, let's go to bed."

you went back to your room, eunchae clinging to the back of your shirt, rubbing her eyes. you kissed chaewon's head good night, causing her to smile.

you watched as eunchae climbed into your bed and promptly passed out. you chuckled and followed her lead, laying on your back and wrapping your arm around her. you elevated your injured foot and positioned it farthest away from her.

due to exhaustion combined with the pain from your injury, you passed out as well. the darkness greeted you with open arms, and as you passed out, the last thing your mind registered was eunchae cuddling closer to you.

the next day, you awoke with a throbbing pain in your foot that almost made you cry. you wiped your tears away and gently shook eunchae awake, telling her she needed to get ready for the photoshoot. 

the baby quickly complied and returned to her room after requesting one last hug from you, which you immediately provided.

you had no idea how you managed to get ready that morning. all you knew was that you needed to reduce the swelling in your foot, which was looking awful right now. 

you were on the verge of crying again, but you held it in, not wanting to alarm any of the girls, who would surely notice your puffy red eyes if you cried right now.

you managed last night. you're going to manage until you get better.

throughout the photoshoot, you relied on your members for support, particularly yunjin because she was the tallest and thus easier to lean on. yunjin enjoyed your attention, so she didn't question why you were suddenly clingy.

however, the members would complain if you stayed too long by yunjin's side, causing you to switch and yunjin to pout. 

but you were right next to her right now.

"unnie loves me today." yunjin told the camera that was filming them for behind-the-scenes footage. 

you gave her a puzzled look and clutched her arm tighter, which yunjin thought was reassurance, but you were really just in terrible pain.

"ah, what are you saying?" you asked, gaping. "i always do, jennifer."

yunjin grinned widely at the camera. "did you hear that, fearnots? she's my wife."

you kissed her on the cheek in silent agreement and trudged away, slightly struggling, while yunjin stared after you, her jaw dropping to the floor.

fuck. it hurts, the words that rang in your head so much that they became a mantra. it was difficult to walk normally, pretend you weren't in pain, and act like you were normal. you'd slip up now and then, a curse slipping off your tongue, but you'd cover it up, and your members would just nod, but still assist you cluelessly.

you made it through the day and went straight to your room when you returned to the dorm, claiming you had a few lyrics ideas. you knew the girls wouldn't dare to bother you whenever you announced that because you prefer silence and peace, much to their dismay.

"i wonder what she's writing about." sakura whispered as she plopped down next to chaewon on the couch.

chaewon sighed. "i'm not sure, but she probably won't be out until tomorrow."

"should we check on her?" kazuha queried, glancing at the stairs. eunchae bounced on her seat, ready to run upstairs if the unnie line said.

chaewon quickly shook her head. "you know she hates it when we disturb her lyric writing."

eunchae appeared to be deflated and yunjin emerged from the kitchen, the american patting her child on the head. "you'll see your mom tomorrow, manchae."

"but is it just me or y/n is clingy today?" the american commented with a smug smirk on her face.

chaewon rolled her eyes. "shut up. we get it, you got your moment." the leader grumbled, crossing her arms.

"no fair." eunchae whined.

kazuha shrugged. "at least she slept on my shoulder on our way home."

"well, i fed her earlier." sakura joined in, smiling.

"oh, right! unnie will treat me to dinner!"

"okay! okay, i get it. shut it please."

meanwhile, you elevated your injured foot on a stack of pillows and pressed the ice pack you managed to sneak into your room to your swelling foot, wincing but also relieved at the coldness seeping through your skin.

"well, that looks terrible." you grimaced.

it only got worse. it appears to be worse than last night. terrible, as you just mentioned. you considered telling the girls earlier when sakura's boot hit it, probably the reason why it looks worse, and you almost cried out in pain. however, your pride got in the way and you ended up biting your lower lip in silent agony.

sakura saw you and thought you were overreacting, which you couldn't blame her for because she had no idea you had a terrible injury down there, but the japanese still apologized and hugged you and wouldn't let you go until it was time for you to go for your solo.

"funny how i told eunchae to watch her footing. look where i am now." you sighed in disbelief and closed your eyes, relishing in the cold as it gradually reduced the throbbing pain.

you eventually fell asleep after attempting to come up with a plan for your sore foot for tomorrow's practice. would you be capable of pulling it off? no, absolutely not. you fell back onto the mattress, eyes closed, with that as your last thought.

the next day, you were deliberately avoiding the girls. you awoke with a fever and a pounding headache. your still throbbing foot wasn't doing you any favors with the constant pain it was sending up your leg.

you were deafeningly silent and pissed off during the final rehearsal for tomorrow's performance. you only speak when you are spoken to or when it is absolutely necessary. aside from that, you were quiet.

it didn't take long for the girls to notice your strange and frightening behavior today. chaewon was the first to notice and cast a wary glance at you, wondering why and how you had awoken on the wrong side of the bed today. one by one, the others became aware.

"is unnie okay?" kazuha queried, brows furrowed.

"i'm not sure, zuha. why?" chaewon returned the question, turning to the japanese ballerina, who was watching you down the water bottle. sakura and yunjin were nearby, both aware of your unpleasant mood today.

"unnie didn't look at me." kazuha said, pouting.

when you and kazuha were facing each other during the dance, you'd always meet her eye and wink at her jokingly right before her part. even after singing her part, the ballerina would always end up giggling.

"she just stared at the floor." kazuha turned to chaewon, causing the leader to pat her cheek in reassurance.

"maybe she's not feeling well, zuha." chaewon didn't know what to say and sighed.

"y/n unnie!"

you turned around to see eunchae leap from her starfish position on the floor. from across the room, she smiled at you and pointed to your bag.

"may i have your phone?"

you nodded and smiled softly, attempting not to show your exhaustion. eunchae cheered and ran to your bag, pulling out the item she was looking for, but she paused when she noticed a couple of painkillers in a small pocket. 

the maknae blinked and looked at you, seeing that you were talking to sakura and yunjin.

why is she taking painkillers? eunchae paused to think, but quickly shook the thought away and returned to her original plan of filling your phone with her selfies. if something is bothering unnie, she'll tell us, right? eunchae nodded and pushed her suspicions to the side.

you pushed through the practice, eager to finish it without any mishaps. 

when you put too much pressure on your foot, you would wince. you would occasionally adjust your position so that your weight would shift to your uninjured foot. you used your members as support while taking a break or watching the dance, which was mostly kazuha this time.

"did i do that right?" kazuha whispered to you.

you nodded firmly with a quick smile. "of course, zuha. it's your signature move, you're always the best at it."

kazuha returned the smile, pulling you closer by the hip. you were thankful at the time because you could finally lift your foot to relieve the weight on it. kazuha felt your weight on her but didn't mind and gently squeezed you.

nobody seemed to notice. when you winced, they assumed you saw a mistake, not on them but on your dance, so yunjin and chaewon would approach you after each dance to console you.

"you did well, baby~" yunjin sang, wrapping you up in a back hug. 

the american nuzzled your shoulder and kissed it lightly. you were glad you wore a hoodie because otherwise she'd feel the heat off your skin.

you laughed, though both girls noticed it was a little lighter than usual. "did i?"

"of course, y/n/n. you're perfect." chaewon said, bringing her fingers up to tickle your side.

you buried yourself in yunjin's embrace to avoid the oldest of the three of you, still watching your step.

"unnie, come on! stop it!"

it was painful to dance; you had no idea how you did it, but you did. you completed the practice and the girls were extremely helpful, despite the fact that they had no idea about your injury. 

speaking of injury, you retired to your room immediately, telling them you were tired.

"are you sure you're okay?" sakura as you passed her on your way to the stairs.

you smiled and planted a small kiss on her cheek. "of course, kkura unnie."

sakura sighed as she looked into your tired eyes, noticing your pale face. "good night, y/n/n."

"good night, unnie."

you sat on the bed, wincing as you removed your shoe with care. a quiet curse escaped your lips, and the silent tears you'd been holding back since practice began slipped down your cheeks. 

you bit your skin to stop the sob from escaping and sighed audibly in relief when your injured foot was free of the confines of the shoe.

you avoided looking at it, but you knew it looked worse, if that's possible. you did dance with it all day, and you were relieved to be dismissed early so you could rest for the long day and night ahead. you lifted your leg to place it on the pile of pillows you didn't bother removing.

only when you thought you'd find peace and relief did the pain begin to spread through you. you winced, not bothering to muffle the sob this time. you wanted to call for chaewon or sakura, but it was too late because the darkness had come to get you.

eunchae found herself padding towards your room somewhere deep into the night. the maknae needed cuddles, which you unknowingly failed to give her due to your injury. because her room was close to yours, she arrived in time and turned the knob, which was surprisingly and thankfully unlocked.

"unnie…?"

her eyes widened when she saw your unkempt bed and disheveled hair. you'd forgotten to turn off the lamp, allowing her to see how you shivered as you lay on top of the blanket, seemingly passing out on it earlier.

your face was pinched into an expression she had never seen before on your normally calm and collected face. pure agony. your face was also splattered with tears, but some were still leaking from your eyes.

but the icing on the cake was your horribly injured foot. eunchae let out a terrified gasp and dashed towards chaewon's room, screaming for her unnies.

"chaewon unnie! chaewon unnie!"

chaewon and yunjin were still awake when they heard maknae screaming, a hint of fear in her tone. they emerged from their respective rooms just in time to see eunchae sprinting, tears streaming down her precious cheeks.

"eunchae?!"

"what's the matter?"

eunchae hiccuped. "unnie… y/n/n unnie… she—"

too worried about you, yunjin dashed to your room, passing by sakura and kazuha, who had been awakened by the screaming. kazuha followed yunjin, albeit sleepily, while sakura went to check on chaewon and eunchae.

"what happened, eunchae? chaewon?"

yunjin and kazuha's footsteps were loud as they ran down the hall and into your room. when they arrived, they were taken aback by your condition.

"unnie…?"

the rest of the girls arrived and were shocked to see you like that. their hearts pounded in their ears, their heartbeats racing in fear, fear for you, not for them. it was the first time you looked horrible. for the first time, you appeared to be in excruciating pain.

they were all terrified and frozen. chaewon and yunjin, on the other hand, pushed themselves out of the shock. chaewon looked for your phone to call the manager while yunjin rushed to your bed and gently took you into her arms. kazuha was right behind her, taking your leg to support your injured foot.

"unnie, hey, wait a little bit more, okay?" yunjin whispered shakily, watching kazuha brush your hair off your face. "chaewon unnie is calling oppa."

sakura cradled the maknae in her arms, allowing the girl to cry into her shoulder while she fought back her own tears. they all waited for the manager for what seemed like an eternity, but then they heard the sound of a vehicle outside. 

yunjin carried your unconscious body downstairs, chaewon and kazuha close behind to support the two of you, while sakura led the sobbing maknae.

"what happened?!" the manager asked.

"we don't know—"

kazuha cut off the panicking yunjin, who had you situated in her lap. "it's her foot. it's injured, sprained." the ballerina said.

the two girls mentioned looked at you, and the others perked up at your weak voice. the manager began driving while still listening to you.

"hey, babe, y/n/n. you okay?" yunjin asked softly, her eyes blurred by tears. 

she didn't like how pale your face was and how weak your voice sounded, barely above a whisper. you were always calm while also cheerful. you were always able to match their energies, especially eunchae's.

but you looked exhausted now.

weak.

"mhm."

kazuha sniffled. "we're almost there, unnie, you'll be fine."

those were the words you used to say to kazuha whenever she was in doubt. she had hoped to say the same words to you, but not in this manner.

you muttered a small 'okay' before closing your eyes and weakly clutching yunjin's hoodie. eunchae was still in sakura's arms, but she was no longer crying, despite the occasional sniffle. chaewon was sitting in the row next to you, yunjin, and kazuha. she kept her gaze fixed on you, frowning alongside you as a small groan escaped your throat.

you kept slipping in and out of sleep, your body screaming at you to sleep every time you tried to open your eyes to catch a glimpse of yunjin and kazuha's faces because they were right above you.

when you finally arrived at the hospital, you couldn't hear the commotion, but you felt yunjin running with you in her arms. you managed to open your eyes again, and the first and last thing you saw was yunjin's worried face before your mind forced you back to sleep.

you took your time resting, but when you opened your eyes, you were greeted by a bright light and a white ceiling. you groaned, your voice scratchy, and tried to get up when you felt something on your leg, it was elevated, and you looked around to see a hospital room setting.

you looked up as the door opened and a nurse entered, gently smiling at you. "you're awake, ms. l/n."

"what happened?" you inquired, and she handed you a water bottle, which you promptly drank.

"you were asleep for the entire day, ms. l/n. it's actually about to end." the nurse said, glancing at the wall clock and seeing the hand approaching twelve.

then you realized what she meant.

"the performance..." you mumbled. "i missed the performance."

"i'm sorry." she apologized with a sad smile. she knew you loved performing and was a perfectionist, too.

you couldn't say anything else to her because the door swung open, and a small smile appeared on your lips when you saw who was in charge.

"manchae."

"unnie!"

as she wrapped her arms around your shoulder, the maknae almost jumped on the bed with you. you grumbled at the force, but you squeezed her anyway.

you raised your head to see the nurse leave before catching chaewon's gaze. you reassured her with a small smile, causing her tense shoulders to sag and run to you.

"you're okay."

you made a humming sound. "well, unnie, i did sleep for the entire day." you joked.

"y/n/n?"

when yunjin entered the room, chaewon and eunchae quickly moved away, not wanting to be involved in her bone crushing hug, but eunchae stayed right next to you, playing with the hospital gown draped on you.

you coughed lightly as you tried to return yunjin's very tight hug.

"you scared us."

you sighed, your conscience gnawing at you. "i know, jen. i'm so sorry."

everyone, including sakura and kazuha, who had just entered, heard your apology. they joined you, kazuha replacing yunjin lightly and sakura caressing the back of your head.

"what happened?" sakura asked quietly.

when you shot chaewon a brief glance, everything fell into place. her eyes hardened as she glared at you and you avoided it, the leader scaring you once again.

"i got hurt when i stayed back to practice. i slipped on my sweater and then i hid it from you."

"why?" eunchae murmured.

you turned to look at her and your eyes softened as you met her wide glossy eyes. "come here, sweetheart."

you gently guided eunchae into your lap, wanting to comfort your unofficial child. "i didn't want to burden you." you admitted softly.

"you're an idiot." 

yunjin immediately locked eyes with chaewon at that and they were stuck in a staredown. 

"unnie." the american warned, her protective nature over you surfacing.

"yunjin-ah." you butted in before they could start arguing, causing the american to back down. "let unnie speak."

"i called you, y/n/n. you should've told me. us." chaewon began, her eyes welling up with tears. 

"do you realize how scary it was to see you there like that? your condition scared all of us."

"did you know it was eunchae who saw you like that?" your gaze flitted to eunchae, who simply sniffled in response. you squeezed her before turning your attention back to chaewon.

"you should've told us. fuck the performances! we just want you to be okay."

the only thing filling the air of silence between the group after chaewon's rant was the calm beeping of the monitor that kept track of your heartbeat. you watched chaewon pant heavily and gulp, and kazuha came up behind her to pat her lower back.

you could tell her rant had a deeper meaning. i feel like i let you down as your leader. you understood chaewon's mind just as she understood yours. she knew how you've always despised the appearance of a mistake on you, so you've worked hard to be flawless.

you motioned for sakura to take eunchae, and you grabbed chaewon's wrist to pull her into you. as she buried her face in your hospital gown, you hugged her tightly.

"i'm sorry, unnie. i'm sorry for being such an idiot."

chaewon couldn't help but laugh tearfully at your joking tone and emphasis. "mhm."

"how was the performance?" you asked, causing chaewon to pull away and give you a reprimanding look, but you shook your head. "i just want to know how it went, unnie. who covered my parts?"

"me!" eunchae's hand shot up in the air with a teary grin before pointing kazuha. "and zuha unnie."

you were filled with pride as you reached up to pat eunchae's head and smiled at kazuha. "oh, i'm excited to see the performance."

sakura laughed. "i'm sure you'll be proud."

in response, kazuha shook her head. "i'm not sure if i did everything correctly."

chaewon made room as you clicked your tongue and pulled the ballerina closer. you gave her a stern look and kazuha returned it, but with much softer features.

"i'm sure you two did it better than me." you said, your gaze shifting between kazuha and eunchae.

eunchae smiled and nodded, enjoying the pride in your eyes, while kazuha sighed and rested her head on your shoulder.

however, the moment was cut short when you heard another sniffle and looked up with wide eyes, meeting sakura's teary ones. you gave the maknae line a look and they moved away to let sakura hug you tightly.

"that was really scary. don't do it again." sakura said, her voice muffled against your hair, fingers brushing through it as she always did when hugging you. "just... tell us. okay?"

you nodded to her shoulder. "i promise, unnie, i swear it."

you let sakura have you all to herself as your gaze moved to yunjin and eunchae, who were both looking at your sprained foot. you successfully drew their attention with your amused chuckle.

"wanna touch it?"

chaewon quickly shook her head. "no, yunjin, eunchae, please don't."

her pleadings were ignored as the two nodded, albeit hesitantly, and you gestured to your foot. chaewon sighed and watched as eunchae poked your foot, noting your small wince. 

sakura felt the sudden jump of your shoulders as well and she played with the baby hairs on the back of your nape to comfort you because she knew the two crackheads couldn't be stopped.

yunjin poked at it as well and grimaced in disgust, causing you to laugh. you threw your head back, bumping heads with sakura.

"ew. what the hell."

you reassured and joked with the girls all night, well, it was actually past midnight. you were well aware that you had frightened them. you knew it was their first time seeing you in such pain. you were aware of their concerns and fears. 

so you promised not to let it happen again and to let them know if anything was wrong with you.

it didn't take long for the girls to nod off. kazuha had dozed off on the chair, and her head was on the bed next to yours. 

eunchae had already fallen asleep after poking your foot. the maknae climbed up beside you and snuggled into your side. but before she fell asleep, she told you one last thing.

"treat me to dinner once you recover, unnie."

laughter filled the room and you patted down the maknae's hair. "i promised, eunchae-ah. have i broken a promise?"

with that, eunchae fell asleep.

later on, yunjin had taken the other side of the bed, burying her face in your arm and wrapping her arm around your waist, her hand barely touching eunchae's skin.

"you scared me." the american mumbled, taking the opportunity to talk to you as chaewon and sakura left for a bit to talk to the manager.

you hummed. "sorry, jen."

"i love you." she mumbled and she smiled as she heard you whisper the sweet words back to her before falling asleep.

chaewon and sakura returned, cooing over the cuddle pile on the small hospital bed. they approached you and sakura placed a hand on your brow, scrunching her nose at your fever.

"go to sleep." sakura whispered to you, noticing your eyes fluttering slowly. 

you complied and felt a small kiss on your forehead and another pair of lips planting another kiss on your cheek.

chaewon and sakura watched the mess in front of them, the former crossing her arms and sakura smiling gently.

"what a mess." chaewon exclaimed, shaking her head in disbelief.

sakura laughed. "let's share the couch. come on."

while watching the pile on the bed sleep, they both listened to the monitor. chaewon looked at you with such tenderness in her eyes that sakura noticed and nudged the leader.

"huh? what is it?"

shocked, chaewon turned to the older japanese, her cheeks flushing slightly at the teasing look sakura was giving her. chaewon whined softly in complaint and looked away, attempting to hide her blush.

"i see that, chaewon-ah~"

"stop, kkura unnie."

sakura chuckled, but did as told. "she's so stubborn."

chaewon nodded, taking another look at you and noticing your head leaning towards yunjin's direction. you had your arms around the american and maknae, and she was certain your arms would be sore when you awoke.

"very much so. i love her for it."

sakura threw her a sideward glance. "even if she gives you a headache?"

chaewon laughed.

"even if she gives me a migraine."

"we all do."

your visuals in the kpop industry were no joke. everyone was aware of how stunning you were up close, and the pictures online and videos on television could not do you justice.

this sparked a massive uproar among netizens, particularly idols. many idols openly admitted they thought you were attractive and even expressed their admiration for you. while others remained silent, netizens still noticed how they stared at you at music shows.

of course, the girls heard about it. when they first met you, they all agreed you were stunning. the elegance you exuded and the bright, albeit slightly shy, smile you wore had them swooning.

they thought it was amusing to see the boys almost trip over their own feet while exchanging bows as they passed by you. at the time, sakura was seen smirking into her fist and the girls side eyeing the guy was caught on camera, and the video went viral.

you, on the other hand, were unaware. the girls didn't really tell you and you weren't very active on social media either, preferring to avoid it due to the possibility of encountering negative comments. you preferred to have your peace of mind, especially given the nature of your work.

it was amusing at first because you had no idea what was going on and all these men are trying to be lowkey despite their desire for your attention. however, it was beginning to grate on the girls' nerves because they were becoming too obvious.

this all happened at an award ceremony.

you were backstage trying to fix your earrings while ignoring the chaos around you. the staff were running around helping the girls with whatever problems they were having and some of them were holding cameras to film the behind-the-scenes.

"and here we have y/n unnie." you smiled at chaewon through the mirror, winking at the camera because your hands were too busy trying to lock the earrings. "i gave her that."

chaewon seemed pleased with herself; you weren't finished yet, but she thought it looked good on you as it accentuated your features because your hair was tied back, and you only smiled in agreement.

"chaewon-ie did a good job choosing this pair." you commented before huffing in frustration. you turned to face the short-haired girl, handing her the other earring you couldn't seem to lock. "help me?"

chaewon complied and handed the camera to a staff member, who accepted it and pointed it at you two to continue filming. chaewon stood in between your legs, taking your chin to tilt your head to the side, as you leaned against the vanity mirror to match her height. the leader remained silent as she struggled, but the click made you both sigh in relief.

you grinned at her and wrapped your arms around her waist. "thank you~"

chaewon wrapped her arms around your shoulders as you both stood there watching the other members get ready. eunchae, after finishing her hair and makeup, found herself in the middle of you two.

"i'm nervous." eunchae admitted quietly.

you exchanged a glance with chaewon and were quick to dispel the maknae's doubts, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. chaewon merely watched, knowing you had it under control.

"it'll be okay. you'll do well, okay?" you whispered.

"what if i make a mistake?" eunchae murmured and you could hear the fear in her tone.

you chuckled. "you won't. if you really did, that's fine. you know i'll fight off everyone for you, don't you? don't think about it too much and just have fun."

you poked her sides, making her squirm and laugh. "if things go wrong, i've got your back, okay?" you whispered and squeezed her gently.

you looked at chaewon and pointed to the other girls, catching sakura's soft gaze as she watched you three. "we have your back."

eunchae sighed, not because she was frustrated or worried, but because she was confident. as eunchae melted against your embrace, chaewon pinched the precious maknae's cheeks.

you started messing around with eunchae so that she would relax and chaewon joined in. the staff watching cooed and took a video because seeing the leader and eldest dote on the maknae was too cute to pass up.

because the other half of the room was occupied by you three, the other half near the door was the only one who heard the knock. sakura opened the door, their manager standing nearby, and was surprised to see juyeon from the boyz standing at their door.

despite her confusion, sakura returned the boy's 90 degree bow. "yes? what can i help you with?"

juyeon blushed, embarrassment creeping up on him. "is… is y/n-ssi here?"

sakura's face turned sour as she realized where this was going, and she turned around, jumping, when she saw kazuha standing right behind her. yunjin, the only one still at hair and makeup but close enough to hear the question despite the loud laughter on the other side of the room, was staring intently at the door.

sakura returned her gaze to juyeon, smiling apologetically at the boy. "she's kinda busy right now."

that wasn't technically a lie because you were really busy making the maknae smile, but it wasn't entirely accurate either. juyeon shook his head, relieved that he wouldn't have to embarrass himself in front of you and disappointed that he didn't get to see you right away.

"can you please hand this to her?" 

juyeon handed her the bouquet of flowers, which she accepted and handed to their manager. before running away, the boy bowed and thanked her. sakura shut the door and exchanged glances with yunjin and kazuha, their manager walking away to put the bouquet somewhere else.

"who was that?" yunjin asked.

sakura shrugged. "juyeon from the boyz."

"he likes unnie, too?" kazuha queried, glancing at your crouching form. they watched chaewon help eunchae onto your back and unconsciously smiled when you grinned at the maknae's excited giggle as you stood.

"everyone does." yunjin answered, thanking the makeup artist as she was finally let out of her seat.

sakura let out a sigh. "expect a lot of her admirers to approach her tonight."

yunjin groaned, complaining that they should leave you alone, while kazuha made a mental note to be more observant later. to the relief of the staff, you finally summoned them and they rushed to join you.

you were dressed differently than them because you were going to perform with an idol as the show's opening number later on. because you wanted to surprise them, you didn't tell them who it was. when yunjin was close enough, her hand fell to rest on your bare waist as she stood behind you.

"y/n unnie looks so pretty." she mouthed the english compliment to the camera, smiling when you leaned against her as you conversed with your japanese members.

time flew by and the girls were soon called to take their seats at their assigned table. you were going to be alone because the performance would begin after everyone had taken their seats and the girls didn't want to leave you on your own.

"i'll join you in a bit, girls." you laughed as you were engulfed in a hug by kazuha and eunchae.

you looked at chaewon as they whined in response. despite the fact that she did not want to leave you, chaewon stepped in to help you.

"come on now. you want to see y/n unnie perform, right?"

that prompted the maknaes to pull away, but it took them a long time. when they did, you pinched eunchae's cheek and rested your other palm on kazuha's palm.

"i'll join you in a bit, yeah?"

the girls nodded and you smiled as they wished you good luck.

the girls soon found themselves sitting on a table near the stairs leading up to the stage. it hadn't even begun yet, but loud screams could already be heard throughout the area. the girls tried to interact with the fans by waving at them and they were met with squeals and the blur sound of their names being yelled.

then screams erupted again as it was announced that the show would begin in a few minutes and the lights on stage were turned off. the girls scanned the stage quickly and eunchae pointed to your silhouette as you approached the center, followed by another idol. 

they could tell he was a guy by his build.

the area was quickly filled with music and the spotlight was on you. the girls couldn't hear the noise of the crowd, only the music you were sexily dancing to. your dancing skill were impressive, but your expressions, smirk, wink, lip bite, and everything else left the girls speechless.

they couldn't take their eyes off you because every move you made hypnotized them. you cast a quick glance down at your girls and were concerned to see their mouths open, fearing they'd catch a fly. but you didn't let that stop you, instead sending them a wink that made them smile. 

while the others were amazed by you, eunchae was clapping excitedly.

however, they weren't the only ones who were sent into spirality and succumbed to your hypnotic gaze, but they'd have to deal with that later.

"holy shit." yunjin murmured.

"holy shit indeed." chaewon replied.

"wow." kazuha was too speechless to say anything else.

"so that's why she kept it a secret." sakura commented, smiling proudly.

"wah~ unnie is so amazing!" eunchae grinned, eyes following you as you approached the waiting silhouette behind you.

when they realized who it was, their smiles faded.

choi yeonjun.

he was the first to admit that he thinks you're really pretty while also admitting that you're his crush.

as part of the dance, yeonjun placed his hands on your hip. they didn't even try to hide their sour faces and they knew they'd go viral, but they didn't care.

chaewon leaned back in her seat, arms crossed. sakura tried to keep her gaze on you, but whenever yeonjun touched you, her gaze would shift to his hand. yunjin was staring at you and kazuha's brow twitched every now and then as his face got too close to yours. finally, eunchae was simply enjoying your performance, happy to see her mother figure in the group dancing on stage.

after the performance, you blew a kiss to the camera, causing more squeals, before looking down at the girls. when you looked them in the eyes, they lit up, and you winked just as the lights went out.

as you changed, the girls waited for you. they tried to pay attention to the speaker and whoever was performing, but they wanted to see you. they stood up to give you an excited wave when you finally appeared at the side of the stage. you chuckled and waved back, but your focus was diverted when yeonjun turned to face you as you approached the stairs.

surprisingly, kazuha had predicted his next move and almost ran up to where you were, followed by yunjin, who was surprised that kazuha had realized as well. you were surprised to see the american and japanese ballerina extending their hands to you, but you accepted and let them help you down.

"so? how was that?" you asked your members, who gave you big hugs.

the girls immediately showered you with compliments, saying how sexy you were and how great you did on stage. they obviously left out the part where yeonjun did well because he had touched you too many times, which they thought was unfortunate. yunjin wrapped her arm around your shoulders while kazuha wrapped hers around your waist.

the night went on and you sat between chaewon and eunchae. the maknae leaned against you for comfort as the leader placed her hand on your knee.

"i'm hungry." you whined softly to chaewon, who giggled at you.

"didn't we eat earlier?" she whispered back.

you pouted. "not enough."

sakura, yunjin, and kazuha all looked over at you, smiling at your adorable pout. yunjin reached over to pinch your cheeks while lightly laughing.

"no, really. me, too." eunchae said, backing you up, causing you to give her a high five.

sakura chuckled. eunchae was exactly like you, albeit a cuter version of yourself because you were the eldest and thus more mature. you can, however, be as cute as eunchae when you want to be.

sakura looked around at some point during the conversation about food, but then noticed san from ateez staring at you with a small smile on his lips. 

must be because of your pout, sakura thought. 

so she subtly adjusted her seat to block his view of you, a satisfied smile on her lips. yunjin looked at her, covering her lips as she laughed at sakura's actions.

but yunjin knew she'd do the same thing.

your group was then announced as the winner of an award. you were taken aback because you had been preoccupied with food the entire time. sakura noticed and laughed, drawing your attention to her. you pouted at her before turning your gaze to the steps and holding eunchae's hand. the other members were standing behind you two, hands outstretched, ready to assist you.

chaewon was the first to speak into the microphone and you stood next to her, holding the award. chaewon's gaze would occasionally return to you and you'd both share a soft smile.

yunjin spoke next, the speech now in english, and you stared in awe. being the touchy person she is, she placed her hand on your arm, pulling you closer so that you could showcase the award. 

kazuha was the last to go. as she stood in front of the microphone, she cast a glance at you. you knew she was nervous, so you wrapped an arm around her waist. kazuha was able to get through it thanks to your comfort and support.

however, just as kazuha finished speaking, the camera panned towards you before a certain male idol was shown on the large screen, caught as he stared in a daze while murmuring the word 'pretty.'

loud screams ensued and he hid his face behind his hands, receiving teasing smacks from his members. you looked at the screen, perplexed, and saw haechan from nct dream. you shrugged, not knowing what had happened and not wanting to know, and led the girls backstage.

the girls, on the other hand, were aware of what was going on. they threw a glance at nct dream's table, not caring if they were their seniors, but they did try to hide it. you called them over and they quickly followed you as you went to prepare for your performance.

during the performance, you would shoot the maknae a funny look whenever you had the chance and eunchae would just smile, breaking character. well, technically, she wasn't because she was always smiling. 

after that, you nearly collapsed on the chair as the adrenaline left your body and was replaced by mild exhaustion. kazuha sat next to you, her head on your shoulders, watching the others settle into their seats around the room.

"i did well, right?" kazuha murmured, referring to her solo part at the end of the performance.

you hummed and reached up to pat her cheek. "you did so well, my zuha."

with that, kazuha closed her eyes for a brief moment. you brought up the subject of food again with the staff and eunchae was quick to back you up. yunjin joined in this time, but the rest of the girls mostly just watched you talk about how hungry you were (listened, in kazuha's case).

you cheered loudly when they said okay, which was a quick response from them, not even a beat later, which surprised kazuha. "oop. sorry, zuha."

you caressed her face, mumbling apologies and searching for any hurt area on her skin. there were none, but because kazuha liked the way you doted on her, she let you do your thing.

"wait. we'd have to leave eunchae now, right?" chaewon's question had you pulling away from kazuha, eyes wide in disbelief.

you were disappointed when the managers nodded and pointed to the clock. "fuck curfew." you muttered in english.

yunjin, who was walking by, burst out laughing. they looked at her, puzzled, but she only pointed at you, laughing again when you smiled at her. kazuha heard you as well because she was sitting next to you, but she said nothing and just chuckled.

then you rose to embrace the pouting maknae. "i promise we'll be back."

eunchae gave a nod. "be quick?"

you smiled. "if i could, baby gorl, i would. please wait here, okay?"

eunchae gave you another nod, and the girls waved her goodbye. you were the last to leave, but not before waving to the grinning maknae.

the night progressed and the group was called on stage for another award shortly after you returned from backstage. this time, it was just you to give a speech, and while you were doing so, the girls scanned the crowd of idols. 

they noticed that there were far too many of them smiling. it was small because they were trying to conceal it, but it was still a smile. yunjin moved in closer, wrapping an arm around your waist. you only gave her a passing glance before continuing your speech.

then you called out to eunchae, prompting the girls to do the same. "hong eunchae! we love you, baby. please wait a moment."

eunchae was smiling backstage, already missing her unnies. "i love you, too." she murmured the sentiment in english, causing the staff around her to coo.

and the awards ceremony was soon finally over. 

the sigh that left your mouth caused chaewon to laugh at you. "what? i'm just glad it's finally over." you whispered in her ear.

"idiot. come on."

you were on stage with your members and the other groups who came. as you walked with them, you wrapped your arms around sakura, keeping her close to you because you didn't want her to be swallowed up by the crowd.

"i want to eat japanese food." you told her.

"me, too. do you want me to cook tomorrow?" sakura asked.

you hummed, finding delight at the idea. "sure, kkura, but let me help."

the japanese chuckled. "i'm sure even if i told you otherwise, you'd still help."

you looked down at her and raised your brows in amusement. "not that you'd say no to me either."

sakura didn't respond, but the smile on her face said it all: she can't say no to your adorable face.

you both paused, however, when someone tripped in front of you. you widened your eyes and extended one hand to assist whoever it was. the guy accepted it and you recognized him as jay from enhypen, one of your labelmates.

he blushed when your eyes met because, goddamn, he'd seen you up close before and you never cease to amaze him with your beauty and kindness.

the girls kept an eye on him while bowing back to his members, who were on the verge of laughing and were also deeply embarrassed by his actions. you patted his shoulders and smiled goodbye before walking away, the girls trailing you like lost puppies.

and that concludes the evening's events.

or so the girls thought.

when you saw eunchae waiting for you outside, you pick up your pace. "manchae!" you called out affectionately.

the girls slowed down to allow you to spend time with the girl you claimed as your child and they ran over when you waved them over. you and eunchae were squished in the group hug and you laughed before calling for timeout.

"air, babes. we need air." you stated, causing them to pull away.

"sorry." they said in unison, chaewon fixing your hair and yunjin doing the same for eunchae.

"we missed you." sakura told the maknae, who beamed. "me, too."

"we're eating out, right?" you asked.

yunjin nodded. "yeah."

"where?" chaewon asked, causing yunjin to light up and point at you.

when you raised your brow at her unintentional suggestive action, yunjin quickly retracted her finger, explaining what she meant. "unnie, we discovered this restaurant last week!"

your mouth formed the letter 'o'. "that's right! we should give it a shot." you told the girls.

when you went to explain where it was, a voice from behind you interrupted you. "uhm, excuse me?"

when you turned around, hyunjin from stray kids greeted you with a bow, which you promptly returned because he was your senior. behind you, the girls stood guard, with kazuha reaching out to clutch the back of your outfit.

you gave a warm smile. "yes?"

hyunjin blushed at your attention and threw a sideward glance towards where the rest of his members stood, cheering him on. you were confused as to what was going on, but you waited for the boy to speak. he looked back at you and cleared his throat before handing you an envelope.

you accepted it and smiled. "what's this for?"

"i, uhm, like you and i was hoping to... maybe get your number?" the boy sounded hesitant, but he decided to shoot his shot.

he was attractive, and you were aware of his talent, but dating was not on your mind at the time. you opened your mouth to reject him as gently as you could, but chaewon cut you off.

"we're sorry, but we can't give out our phone numbers."

"ah, it's okay. i'm just happy i could tell you, y/n-ssi." hyunjin's face showed his disappointment, but he still smiled at her and you. 

meanwhile, your face dropped at your leader's interruption and you were side-eyeing chaewon, who quickly avoided your gaze. everyone got chills and did the same thing as chaewon, suddenly finding their shoes, hands, or the wall in front of them more interesting.

they recognized that look and knew that hell would await them once they entered that room.

although chaewon was the leader, you were the eldest. being the eldest and most mature, you took pride in it. when she interrupted, it stung your pride.

you smiled at hyunjin and decided to play along for the time being. "of course. sorry and thank you, i appreciate it."

you exchanged bows and watched the downcast guy walk back to his members, who comforted him with a pat on the back. you entered the room without looking anyone in the eyes. before following you, the girls gulped and exchanged nervous glances.

the staff knew they couldn't get involved, so they sat it out.

"what was that?"

the girls saw you taking off your accessories in front of the mirror. your face was emotionless, which scared eunchae because it reminded her of the time you got mad and she decided she didn't want to see you mad again.

"care to explain?" you threw them a brief glance, mostly at chaewon, and they were shaken up again by the intense look in your eyes.

the leader took a deep breath. "we just... didn't want you to give him your phone number."

"and you thought interrupting me was a good idea?" you asked, and chaewon went to speak, but you turned around to face them. "didn't you trust me enough to not do that?"

while the other girls panicked, chaewon quickly shook her head. sakura decided to intervene after noticing chaewon about to cry, which you had noticed, but you needed answers first.

"when i say i didn't want other people to get your attention, i think i speak for everyone." sakura said.

as you stared at sakura, you remained silent. your brows furrowed and the gears in your head were finally turning to bring you to realization.

the girls waited with baited breaths as yunjin drew chaewon closer to her, providing the comfort their poor leader required. kazuha was also behind her, rubbing her back. 

chaewon was grateful for them, but she needed yours.

your leader looked you in the eyes and watched you sigh and close your eyes.

"so, to cut a long story short, you were jealous?"

thinking you were still mad, they nodded.

"i see." you said, opening your arms now that your questions had been answered. they were hesitant to approach you at first, but you called out to your leader. "chaewon-ah."

your sweet tone caused chaewon to run to you, knocking the air out of your lungs, but you didn't care for the time being. you stroked her back with one hand while resting the other on her head. you knew she was trying hard not to cry when you heard her sniffle quietly against your shoulder.

the thing she despised the most was you getting angry at her.

it goes the same with the others.

"i'm sorry, my love." you said quietly and chaewon nodded. "i'm sorry, unnie."

you hummed and gave an apologetic smile to eunchae. "did i scare you?"

you waved her over after the maknae nodded. chaewon stepped back to let you hug eunchae, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. yunjin approached you and kissed the side of your head as she apologized. because eunchae wouldn't let go of you, kazuha went to cling to your sleeve instead.

"you're really scary when you're angry, unnie." kazuha said, tugging on your outfit as a way to ground herself after the fright you've instilled in them all.

you smiled, humming. "i'm sorry, my zuha, everyone."

everyone took a moment to calm down, and when eunchae pulled away, you apologized by briefly hugging sakura, yunjin, and kazuha before turning to chaewon, who remained silent. she'd calmed down, but she remained silent.

"call them in? let me just talk to chae real quick." you said quietly to sakura, who nodded.

you approached chaewon and hugged her, pushing her to the corner of the room, away from their gaze. chaewon wrapped her arms around your waist and buried her face in your neck.

"are you mad at me?" you asked.

chaewon shook her head. "no, why would i?"

"i'm sorry for acting that way." you murmured in her hair.

"it's not your fault, unnie." she reassured and pulled back to look in your eyes.

you wiped the stray tears from her cheek and planted a small kiss on her brow. "i love you, okay? you and the girls. you have my undivided attention at all times and in all places, hm?"

chaewon nodded and rested her forehead against your jaw. "i love you, too."

"good. trust me, okay?"

she nodded.

"and please do not interrupt me again."

chaewon knew you were no longer mad when your tone was laced with a playful sound and added by the playful raise of your brow. she laughed and nodded, knowing they'd all remember not to interrupt you again in their lives.

when you left the corner, you immediately got changed. and when you came out wearing your favorite sweatpants and hoodie, kazuha was the first to greet you. the japanese ballerina melted in your arms and you swayed her to the song yunjin was singing.

"don't get mad again. ever."

you laughed at that, squeezing her. "i'd try not to, my zuha."

you approached yunjin, who lit up when she saw you. still singing along to the song on her phone, she grabbed you by the hips and pulled you into her lap.

"hey, love~ you're not mad at us anymore, right?" yunjin asked. 

she sounded playful, but when she switched to english, you knew she was serious and just trying to clear the air between you two. you nodded and stroked her cheek with one finger.

"yes, jen. don't worry."

you leaned against the american for a moment, opening your arms for sakura. she plopped down on you without hesitation, ignoring yunjin's groan. the force surprised the american, who you knew was strong enough to support you two.

"you gave us quite the scare." sakura muttered.

"i know, i'm sorry." you murmured, planting a kiss on her shoulder.

you three remained silent after that. the staff were wary, but the way you slept on yunjin with sakura in your arms assured them that everything was fine. you awoke to sakura tapping your cheek and yunjin caressing the skin beneath your hoodie.

"time to go, y/n/n. come on."

you found yourself in between chaewon and eunchae, the two members you scared the most tonight. they were both leaning against your shoulders, playing with your fingers. you gave them a kiss on the head, and the way chaewon closed her eyes, a contented sigh leaving her lips, and eunchae burying herself in your embrace told you that everything would be fine.

the other girls smiled, relieved to see you weren't mad anymore and had made up with them.

"go sleep. i'll wake you up once when we get there." they complied and were knocked out like a light.

you looked out the window, your thoughts racing. you let out a sigh. that explains their behavior earlier tonight. you thought it was nothing, but it turns out it did mean something.

for the time being, it appears that you will not be dating anyone.

how many times has this been? 

5th? 

6th? 

you didn't know. you couldn't even count it anymore. the number of times jennie left you hanging was too much for your heart to bear.

you couldn't believe your heart was still beating after all the times jennie had broken it.

you had no idea how many tears you had shed, but your eyes hurt too much.

you couldn't count how many sleepless nights you'd had, but your body was begging you to sleep.

you waited.

and waited.

and waited.

again.

and again.

nonetheless, you were still here, pathetically sobbing at your shared home's kitchen counter. jennie made you wait again tonight and you're still waiting for her to come home.

the door finally opened after hours of waiting. there was a brief pause as jennie wondered where you were because you were usually on the couch, watching a movie or sleeping while it was playing. you could hear her heels clicking against the floor as she made her way to the kitchen, where you were.

"baby?"

you scoffed bitterly at the pet name. "baby? that's all you have to say?"

you didn't meet her gaze, so you didn't notice her lips forming a frown at the sight of your tear-stained face. jennie stood there, frozen, unsure whether she should approach you because you looked upset—

no.

mad.

"is everything okay, baby?" jennie asked, exhaustion and worry mixing evidently in her tone, but comfort was also present.

you chuckled, the bitterness still on your tongue. "really? is that all?"

exasperated, the cat-eyed woman sighed. "look, i wouldn't know if you don't tell me. just tell me so we can both sleep."

that caused you to snap.

you slammed your hands on the counter and stood up from your seat, causing jennie to flinch as the seat screeched in disapproval. when it fell to the floor with a loud thud, she jumped. she looked at you with wide eyes as you gave her the most intense glare she'd ever seen.

it almost seemed to be filled with hatred.

"i could say the same to you." you said, tears welling up again in your eyes. "you should have told me you weren't coming, jennie."

jennie. her name rang out in her head, mocking her. you don't address her as such. since then, you've preferred calling her jen and sweet pet names, but never the government name.

"tell you?" jennie echoed in confusion.

you threw your head back, your chest tightening as you felt the pain spread across your chest, and you gave her a tired look. you were in utter disbelief. you expected her to remember.

but she kept proving you wrong by forgetting again and again.

"it's supposed to be date night." you reminded her quietly, too tired, and jennie's eyes widened. her head whipped to the nearest calendar, where she noticed a date with a red heart. "you said you'd make it up to me."

jennie gave you an apologetic look and went to explain, but you simply shook your head.

"you forgot, jennie. you forgot. again. and you made me wait in the restaurant like a fucking idiot."

"i'm sorry, baby. it slipped my mind because of work." jennie explained, but you were sick of hearing the same excuse for the nth time in months.

"work, work, work." you sneered. "it's always work, jennie. how about you? me? us?"

jennie's exhaustion was catching up with her at that point and she was becoming irritated. the look she gave you caught you off guard and you laughed bitterly, tongue poking the inside of your cheeks to keep your rage at bay.

"you're upset? now? with me?" you asked, pointing to yourself.

"it's not my fault i'm busy with work, y/n!" jennie fought back, throwing her hand to the side to emphasize her annoyance. "what exactly do you want me to do?"

"i want you to please tell me that you won't be able to make it to our date night, jennie! don't make me wait like a moron at the restaurant!" you yelled as you marched up to her, tears streaming down your cheeks because you couldn't keep it in any longer.

"i want you to rest! i want you to relax! with me!"

jennie stood firm, her heart breaking at your pleading tone and nonstop crying, but she was too caught up with her frustrations at the moment to care.

"i'm busy, y/n! why can't you see that?! i thought you were okay with this?!"

you burst out laughing, tears streaming down your cheeks. "okay? you call this okay?! making me wait means okay? overworking yourself means okay?!"

"but we were okay!" jennie insisted.

"are you insane?!" you screamed. "when was the last time you touched me? when was the last time you kissed me? when was the last time you told me you love me? when, jennie?!"

jennie ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "i love you, of course i do, y/n! you're supposed to know that! and i thought you knew the risks of dating an idol?!"

"i knew, jennie! oh god. i knew! i. fucking. knew! but you promised me!" you prodded her chest, making her stumble with each harsh word you hurled at her. "you promised me that you'd make time for me."

"i understand if you're busy, jennie. grab your phone and give me a call, a text, or whatever you prefer. make someone else let me know, your managers, the girls—i don't care, just let me know! how much time does that take away from your work, huh?" you asked.

"minutes, jennie! not even a minute!" you yelled, gathering your hair in your hands to keep from injuring yourself because you were seconds away from punching the nearest wall.

you didn't, however, because you didn't want to scare away your girlfriend. you didn't want to hurt her or anyone else. you didn't want to instill fear in her because all you wanted was for her to understand your point. you weren't that kind of person; you were sweet and patient. you can't just take pain over and over because you, too, have a limit.

jennie knew that. 

she watched your face contort from anger to pain, just pain, as she was stunned by your outburst. jennie felt your pain twice as much because she was the source of it all.

"i just want you to make time for me, jennie, and i want you to rest because i see you're tired."

you were both crying and sobbing, but your vision was too blurry from your tears to see your girlfriend. you backed up, sobbing pitifully as you tried to wipe away your tears, but they kept falling.

jennie's heart sank and she took a step forward, but you turned around. she reached for your hand, but you smacked it away and cast another glare over your shoulders, as if her touching you would burn you. you wanted her to touch you because you missed your girlfriend's touch, even if it was painful, but you were too upset right now.

"don't touch me."

your girlfriend was taken aback by the venom in your tone and you walked around the couch, picking up the previously discarded coat as you made your way to the door. jennie realized it a little late, but she dashed over to stop you.

"no, no, no!" jennie begged, panicked thoughts racing through her mind as she wrapped her arms around your waist from behind, preventing you from reaching the door.

"don't touch me. let me go." you hissed, easily overpowering her and removing her arms from around you.

"please, don't go, baby!"

when you slipped out the door, jennie stumbled but cried out. she tried to chase you down, but you were already gone. the idol walked back home, sobbing, as she realized she might be alone tonight or even forever.

she was terrified by the thought.

you had work, too. 

you were busy, too. 

but you've never used your job as an excuse to skip a date night or any other event in her life.

she, on the other hand, forgot about your date night, birthday, and anniversary.

nonetheless, you stayed.

and yet, every time she came home, you always greeted her with a sad yet gentle smile, whispering an it's okay into her ear and guiding her through the exhausting night filled with anxious thoughts.

you never once mentioned being busy as jennie's friend and girlfriend.

the cat-eyed idol collapsed by the door, so she curled up there, leaning against the door frame, waiting for your arrival. if she made you wait for days and hours, it wouldn't hurt to wait for you out in the cold this time.

jennie had no idea how long it had been. one hour? or two? she didn't mind because all that mattered was that she was there when you got home. however, due to exhaustion from work and the argument tonight, she couldn't help but close her eyes, despite her best efforts to keep them open.

it was dangerous to sleep out there in the middle of the night, but jennie was knocked out before she knew it. she had nightmares about you packing your bags when you got home and she even had visions of you not returning at all. she shivered at the door, not because she was cold, but because she was afraid you would abandon her.

jennie felt a gentle swipe on her cheek and her eyes shot open in fear that it was someone else, but her racing heart calmed down when she saw your blank face. only then did she realize how tired you were; the bags under your eyes and the way your lips pursed in a thin line made her sob once more.

"y/n/n…" jennie whimpered as she reached for your shoulders, attempting to wrap her arms around you. she was afraid you didn't want her touch, but you let her. she jumped on you, sobbing and burying her face in your neck. 

your warmth was almost strange given how long she had been away from you, but it provided her with the comfort she needed.

"idiot." you whispered as you hooked an arm under her thighs. "you're an idiot for sleeping here."

you carried the small woman inside and proceeded to your shared bedroom. jennie felt the bed welcoming her and drew back with bloodshot eyes to watch you settle into your side of the bed.

"no..." jennie whimpered. she didn't want to be away from you, so she climbed on top of you, straddling your waist and laying on your body.

for a brief moment, you were silent as you gathered your thoughts, your arms not snaking around her waist as usual, causing jennie's heart to break even more.

"you should've told me if you didn't want to go on a date."

jennie shook her head frantically in response to your words and your voice fell silent. you were on the verge of giving up. "no, please. i wanted to, i swear. but i'm an idiot for standing you up and i'm so sorry."

you chuckled, but it was emotionless; it was just a huff, a sign of exhaustion. "i heard that last week and the few other weeks before that, jennie."

shaking her head, the cat-eyed woman drew back to look you in the eyes. "i swear i'll make it up to you!"

"that, too."

jennie's world came crashing down around her, and she bit her lip to keep another sob from erupting from her throat. you finally looked her in the eyes and reached up to pull her lips from between her teeth. she remembered you telling her to stop because it was damaging her soft lips.

"do you even love me?" you whispered.

your pleading tone made jennie cry. to think you were beginning to doubt that hurt her. she clenched her fists around your shirt, resting her brow on your cheek.

"i love you. i do, a lot."

"i don't see it."

you felt tears fall down your cheeks, but they weren't yours. it was jennie's and you would have cried too if you hadn't drained them all over the last few weeks. the thought had been bothering you since last month and it was the cause of your sleepless nights.

but every time jennie agreed to the dates you were trying to set up, you'd forget about it, only for it to return when she forgot.

you let out a sigh. "let's sleep. we'll talk tomorrow about... whatever this is."

with that, you went to sleep. jennie stayed on top of you all night, and you'd wake up to the shiver wracking her body as she tried to silence her sob in your neck at the thought of you possibly breaking up with her the next morning. you'd only sigh, and it took a while for you to wrap your arms around her, one hand on her back, running up and down, shushing her.

when jennie was finally able to calm herself and fall asleep, you followed suit.

you awoke with no weight on top of you, causing you to sigh. did you really expect her to be there when you woke up? pathetic. you clicked your tongue and stood up; your muscles begged you to go back to bed, but your throat was scratchy from all the crying the night before.

you made your way downstairs, a blanket wrapped around you to protect you from the biting cold, barely registering the noise in the kitchen, but you came to a halt when you saw her. she was moving around the kitchen with her back to you. there was food on the table, mostly your favorites, and she was making your favorite drink right now.

you stood there, checking to make sure you weren't hallucinating and screaming at your brain to let go of the illusion. however, she turned around, her eyes widening at the sight of you, and she jumped in surprise, spilling some of the hot drink onto her hand.

you shot forward, leaving the blanket behind, as she hissed in pain. you grabbed the drink and dragged her injured hand to the sink. you put both of them under the faucet and let the water run over the burn. jennie was initially hesitant, but she soon found herself melting against you and relieved when you rested your head against hers.

"i'm sorry." your girlfriend was the first to break the silence and you merely hummed. "i know my mistakes and i won't do it again. i will make time for you. i will make it up to you."

"and i'm sorry for saying we were okay. i'm a complete idiot." jennie added, watching your thumb caress the burn under the cold running water.

you sighed and reached for a towel to dry her hands gently. "look, it doesn't matter. all i want is for you to rest."

jennie turned to face you, a determined expression on her face. "no, i'll rest and make it up to you. i'm sorry it took me being afraid you'd leave me to realize i needed to make time for you."

"and for yourself."

your girlfriend nodded. "and for myself."

you sighed and leaned down, kissing her on the temple. jennie nuzzled up to you like the cat she is.

"please. please keep your words this time. i'm begging."

jennie gave you a firm nod and took your face in her hands, watching you lean into her touch. "i promise i will."

as your lips finally met, you shoulders sagged in relief. jennie returned the kiss with equal, if not greater, passion. 

her arms were wrapped around your shoulders, one hand on the back of your head to keep you in place. you had yours wrapped around her waist, longing for her touch. 

as your lips moved feverishly against each other, there was a promise, a vow, that she'd do everything she said today in this kitchen.

jennie pulled back, panting, and rested her head against your brow. "i called the company."

you hummed, hope lighting up within you.

"i managed to convince them to give me a break." she said happily.

you returned it. "i assume with threats?"

jennie gave a nod. "of course." she said.

when a smirk appeared on your lips, she took pride in it. "that's my girl." you said.

tears welled up in jennie's eyes, and you reached out to wipe them away with one hand. "i love you, sweetheart."

jennie sniffled. "i love you, my love, and i'm so sorry."

jennie sobbed once more in your arms, swaying as you hummed a song. it took her a few moments to calm down, but once she did, she pulled back to look at you again.

"did i mention it's a month off? a two even." she smiled, her eyes still welling up. she was just waiting for lisa to respond to their group chat messages.

you furrowed your brow. "did you get the girls involved as well?" you teased, but you were still happy.

"they got themselves involved, y/n/n." she corrected.

you laughed, knowing that the girls would have jennie's back at any time. besides, they had to lock you both in a closet to force you to confess to each other, jisoo's idea, because watching you dance around each other's feelings was agonizing.

"where do you want to go?" jennie said.

you hummed while pecking her lips. "wherever you want to go, baby."

jennie pouted. "i want you to decide."

you kissed the pout away and led her to the table. "okay, i have a few ideas, but let's talk about it over breakfast because the food is getting cold."

jennie nodded in agreement, but pulled you in for another long kiss. 

she had missed this. 

she had missed you. 

"i love you. thank you for being patient with me, but i'll make it up to you, y/n/n."

"i love you, too, jen."

chaewon shivered as the cold breeze tickled her skin as she stepped out of the van, her arms instinctively wrapping around herself to try to keep warm as her jacket did nothing to keep the cold air at bay. squinting her eyes, she scanned the building in front of her before turning around to watch the rest of the members exit the vehicle.

"why is it so cold?" eunchae whined, scooting closer to sakura, who quickly wrapped the maknae in an embrace to keep the two of them warm.

"oh my god." yunjin breathed out, rubbing her own arms to combat the chill that was clinging to her skin. kazuha quickly followed the american, but when she saw sakura and eunchae, she squeezed herself into sakura's embrace.

chaewon frowned as she watched the still open door, her patience running thin when the last remaining member didn't appear as she expected, her members' constant complaining falling on deaf ears.

"y/n?" chaewon called out, a worried expression on her face, and was about to climb back inside when you finally came out.

when you collided with her, everyone screamed in terror as chaewon's foot slipped off the vehicle. the leader yelped and braced herself for the impact, but instead she felt an arm wrap around her waist and a quick tug. she let out another yelp as she clutched your hoodie, her eyes wide as she looked into your sleepy but worried eyes.

"i'm sorry, unnie. are you okay?" you queried, your voice slightly husky from sleeping on sakura's shoulder the entire trip.

warmth, which she had been missing, quickly filled her body as she tried to calm her racing heart against her ribcage, her grip on you tightening at the same time yours around her waist tightened due to her lack of response. chaewon heard the camera clicks and side-eyed the other members, who were all trying to keep their squeals in check as they took pictures and possibly even videos, then looked up at your barely open eyes, the cold definitely making you drowsier.

chaewon smiled softly, her eyes softening in adoration as she looked at you. "i'm okay, y/n/n. come on, let's go so we can get you to bed, yeah?"

you nodded sleepily and unwrapped your arm from around the form of your leader, causing the shorter girl to frown at the lack of warmth.

she wasn't sure where she got her sudden courage, whether it was because you were sleepy and she was sure you wouldn't notice, or because the cold was making her shiver and desperate for someone's warmth, specifically yours. 

chaewon took your hand in hers, intertwining your fingers to feel your familiar warmth spread quickly through her body, and dragged you inside the hotel, giving the members a look that made them quickly hide their phones and push back the squeal that threatened to spill as they ran after the two of you.

you followed the shorter girl mindlessly, your eyelids dropping every now and then but forcing them up whenever you felt chaewon's hand gently squeeze yours. you waited quietly with the girls while your manager spoke to the receptionist, resting your forehead against the back of chaewon's head, causing the older one to drop her conversation with yunjin, who chuckled audibly due to the leader's whipped actions, but the american quickly turned around to join the others because of the hard glare she received.

"y/n." chaewon murmured as she reached behind her with her other free hand to pat your hip, drawing your attention.

you hummed in response. "unnie?"

chaewon chuckled. "you've been sleeping this whole time, y/n-ah. how are you still sleepy right now?"

"tired, unnie~" you whined quietly, tugging on her hand, causing chaewon's chest to swell with adoration.

the leader went quiet and let you lean against her, but her mind was racing with thoughts as she panicked because of you, while simultaneously yelling at her heart to slow down.

soon after, the manager arrived to hand over the keys. "partner up and go to your rooms. rest up, we have a long day tomorrow."

chaewon watched as the others partnered up, yunjin dragging kazuha to the elevator with her and sakura gently leading their maknae right behind them. the leader squeezed your hand, and you returned the action while humming.

"come on, we're roommates tonight." chaewon giggled, raising her hand in the air to show you the key, which jiggled lightly.

"well, that's unfortunate."

chaewon turned to face you, glaring up at you, and you simply grinned at her fuming face, the angry red color rising from her neck up to her face. as she watched the playful glint swim in your drowsy eyes, the other girl could tell you were only joking. besides, she knew that out of everyone in the group, you preferred rooming with her. that doesn't mean her anger issues won't surface.

"i'm just kidding, unnie." you laughed happily. 

you had to drag the cute angry leader to the elevator because she didn't want to leave her spot just to stare at you. you were amused inside the elevator as chaewon stood facing you, arms crossed and brow furrowed deeply, her eyes seemingly burning holes into your forehead with how hard she was staring at you.

"yah, you teased her again, didn't you?" yunjin cackled from behind you as eunchae laughed at you.

you stifled a quiet laugh. "of course, i did."

you let out another amused chuckle as her brow twitched slightly, but you caught it because your eyes were on her face, trying to memorize her cute angry features in your head, eyes bouncing all over her face to scan every single small detail.

"don't be too hard on her, y/n-ah." sakura said lightly, catching kazuha's teasing look, which chaewon scrunched her nose at.

because your assigned shared room with chaewon was on the other side of the hall, you stepped out of the elevator and parted ways with the other members. you led the way quietly, feeling your leader's glare on your back, which you ignored for the time being as you reached the room. you opened the door for your leader, and you noticed her eyes soften briefly as she walked past you before her glare returned full force.

you followed her inside, laughing, and placed your belongings next to chaewon's bag. you were quick to return to the bed, which was the only one in the room that you had overlooked. chaewon, nervous, stared at the bed you haphazardly sat on. it was large enough to accommodate both of you, but not so large that your skin would come into contact with each other later on.

"y/n?" chaewon's voice shook lightly as she called out your name, swallowing the lump in her throat as she realized she sounded a little too nervous.

"hm?"

"there's only one bed."

you struggled to open your eyes as you sat up and looked around the room. chaewon stood there watching you, one hand on her other arm, rubbing her skin nervously. you looked at her and noticed her nervously shuffling around, but you ignored it and shrugged.

"we'll share the bed." you shrugged nonchalantly, and chaewon's ears turned red with embarrassment, mentally cursing you out for being so casual about the subject.

the short-haired girl pointed to the couch. "i'll sleep on the couch."

you raised a brow, ignoring the ache in your chest. you had no problem sleeping in the same bed as her and assumed chaewon was fine with sleeping next to you on a bed, but it appears you were mistaken. your brow furrowed in disappointment and sadness as you watched your leader walk to the couch, your lips ajar.

"ah, do you not want to sleep next to me?"

chaewon's neck snapped as she turned her head to look at you, panic setting in as she saw your pinched expression. she went to explain, panickily waving her hands in the air, but you were already on your feet.

"i'll take the couch, unnie." you said weakly, suddenly more tired than before.

"no. yah, yah. yah, y/n-ah."

chaewon followed you as you made your way to the couch, panicking. her panicked incomprehensible explanation, however, fell on deaf ears as you quickly sat down on the couch, unwilling to hear whatever your leader had to say.

"yah, stop." as you turned away from her, chaewon whined lightly and her shoulders sagged in defeat.

as the silence stretched for a few more minutes, you assumed chaewon had left to fix her things or settle down on the bed. during those silent minutes, you were slowly drifting away from consciousness when you felt a weight on top of you and jerked slightly away in shock as a body squeezed in your crossed arms.

"chaewon unnie? what are you doing?" you asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

chaewon shifted around, cursing, and quietly apologized when you hissed in pain from her accidentally crushing your arm beneath her. you leaned back to look at her irritated expression, a familiar pink tint spreading across your cheeks as she reached around your neck and rested her arms on your shoulders.

"i'm going to sleep with you." chaewon grumbled, her gaze flitting down to your lips before returning it to your confused sleepy eyes, clearing her throat in embarrassment.

"the bed is bigger—"

when her eyes became harder, your eyes widened, and the frown that formed on her brow seemed to be permanent due to how hard she was glaring. chaewon never liked making eye contact with you because it made her feel giddy, but she was guilty of making you sad, so she was going to prove something to you.

"i'm. sleeping. with. you." chaewon stated, emphasizing each word to get you to shut up, which you did.

it was your turn to avoid her gaze this time, and you chose to pull her closer to you so you could hide your red face in her short hair. your heart was racing so fast that you were afraid chaewon would hear it, but chaewon was preoccupied with her own heart racing nonstop for you because of the way you held her so securely and tightly in your arms.

chaewon's fingers played with your hair to distract herself, which you soon found comfort in as she combed your hair with her fingers, sometimes gently scratching your scalp to coax you to sleep. chaewon noticed how your grip on her loosened as you drifted off to sleep, and when it finally did, she drew back to stare at you.

your features were peaceful and content as you slept silently in her embrace, and she reached for your face, fingers gently tracing your soft skin and smiling as she felt the familiar warmth within her again. she sighed and rested her brow against yours, staring at your ajar lips as her fingertips caressed your jaw, tempted to fill the space in between like a puzzle.

chaewon always felt it, the warmth across her chest and the butterflies in her stomach, whenever you were close, when she was with you, when you touched her or did something for her, and just because of you in general.

however, chaewon couldn't do anything about it. she did not act on her emotions. she has been dropping hints ever since she discovered her feelings for you, which she initially thought she would find difficult to accept. but because it was you, who she harbored feelings for, she was quick to accept it.

she remained silent and never expressed her feelings for you aloud. although the other members were aware of it because she was so obvious, everyone, including the staff, was surprised you hadn't picked up on her painfully obvious admiration yet.

chaewon sighed softly and looked at you, her eyes filled with pain. "i like you, you know? my god. i like you so much and you don't even know."

as she finally let go of the words she had been hoping to tell you, the heavy weight on her chest was lifted. unfortunately, it has to be like this while you sleep, but it was somewhat relieving because she didn't have to face rejection.

"you are such an idiot. how come you never noticed my hints?" chaewon grumbled.

the leader waited for a response, but sighed when she realized you were sleeping. she wanted to cry right then and there, but she couldn't let go, so she tried to relax in your embrace.

her gaze bounced all over your face, eyes frequently finding your lips, but she forced her gaze away every time to avoid being tempted to place hers on yours. chaewon could feel the steady rising and falling of your chest as your calm breathing mingled with hers. 

your warmth and the promise of safety you unconsciously extended to everyone around you, particularly her, wrapped around her like a protective blanket against the harsh world.

chaewon was brought back to reality as your voice filled the silent room, just as she was about to fall asleep.

"i did."

chaewon's body tensed, and her initial ministrations on your face and hair came to an abrupt halt. she watched as you slowly opened your eyes and met hers with a comforting gaze. your face warmed up as you processed her sudden confession, and your grip on her tightened once more, refusing to let the small girl escape the confrontation.

"i noticed and i know." you murmured.

"you heard all that?" chaewon inquired, tears welling up in her eyes as she braced herself for rejection.

you hummed. "you should really double-check to see if the person you're confessing to is awake, you know?"

chaewon averted her gaze and gulped to calm her racing heart. she remained silent and frozen there, knowing she wouldn't be able to escape the room, especially you, because even if she did, your long arms would simply wrap around her again.

you watched as the leader tried to blink away her tears, but it only caused a few tears to fall down her cheeks, which you wiped away. you didn't like seeing your members cry, and your heart would hurt even more if chaewon shed even a single tear.

"well?" chaewon returned your gaze, her voice trembling as she grasped your wrist.

"well?" you echoed, smiling teasingly. "well, what?"

"well, what?" she replied in annoyance, but the undeniable curl of her lips said otherwise. you watched her smile, your gaze fixed on her lips, and remembered the sensation of her soft touch against the skin beneath your lips.

you chuckled at the memory. "well, if you won't do it, i will."

chaewon looked perplexed at this. your leader stared at you, lost for words, and you could tell there was no single thought behind those innocent eyes, causing you to laugh in delight. you couldn't stand it any longer, so you gently grasped her chin between your thumb and pointer finger and leaned in to take her lower lip between yours.

chaewon flushed red as sparks flew all around her, but her ears blocked out all noise as her senses tried to process the soft caress of your lips. her hands fell to your shoulders and she gripped you, her nails digging into your skin and making you scrunch your nose in pain, but you ignored it.

chaewon finally responded to your small kisses a second later, and her eyes closed, causing previously sad but now happy tears to fall. when you tasted the salt of her happy tears on your lips, you reached for her cheek and wiped them away. your thumb caressed the skin under her eye, and she sighed against your lips.

you chuckled and pulled away, silently watching her as she composed herself. chaewon opened her eyes and saw you staring softly at her, which made her blush. she hid her face as she felt it turning pink, but you pushed her chin up.

"don't hide, unnie." you whispered with a small smile.

chaewon smiled shyly. "you like me, too?"

"i do. i like you." 

instead, she hid herself in your embrace, pressing her face into the crook of your neck, and you laughed. for a brief moment, you both fell silent, and chaewon could finally feel and hear your heart beat against your cage whenever her fingertips brushed against your neck. chaewon wrapped her arms around you tighter and relaxed with you, but she did pay attention when you decided to break the comfortable silence.

"i like rooming with you, by the way." you informed her, causing chaewon to chuckle at the way your chest vibrated as you laughed with her.

chaewon pulled away to look at you, her nose scrunched up cutely as she took your face in her hands. "i like sleeping next to you."

you hummed. "do you know where it's more comfortable to sleep together?"

chaewon laughed as you rose from the couch, took her hands in yours, and led her to the bed while wiggling your brows at her. your leader swatted at you, but allowed you to lead her back to the abandoned bed, falling back with her on top of you.

"i can think of someone more comfortable to sleep on." chaewon smiled down at you, her fingers pinching and stretching your cheeks.

you hummed. "yeah? who?"

"you." chaewon replied and leaned down to plant a small kiss on your lips, causing you to smile and reach up to chase her and kiss her chin as she leaned back up.

"you know who i like?"

chaewon giggled giddily. "who?"

"you."

"are you ready?"

yunjin snapped out of her racing incomprehensible thoughts as stood in front of the mirror, tearing her gaze away from the item in her palm to look at her leader, who gave her a soft smile. she cleared her throat and returned her gaze to the mirror in front of her, fixing her hair as an excuse to avoid chaewon's comforting eyes.

"yeah, i'll be out in a bit, unnie."

the leader met sakura's eyes from across the hall. "alright. we'll wait for you outside."

yunjin caught sight of her own eyes in the mirror, memories swirling into her brown orbs as she gazed. the memories she treasured, the memories that brought her so much joy, the memories that completed her heart, the memories that made her cry because she loved them all so much.

yunjin remembered everything in that brief moment. the memories, everything, slammed into her as if she were standing beneath waterfalls or watching the waves crash against the sandy shore of a beach. it was that intense; she had no idea recalling something could be that intense. 

as her heart pounded hard against her ribcage, yunjin took it all in, watching it all as if it were a short scene from a movie.

i got a heart and i got a soul

believe me, i will use them both

"unnie, just ask her out." 

eunchae bounced excitedly in her seat, shaking yunjin beside her as kazuha turned around to take a peek at you, which was a little obvious, causing yunjin to reach out and smack the japanese ballerina. kazuha turned around with an offended expression on her face, both of them slightly amused as yunjin's cheeks flared red in embarrassment, not helping the desire to take another longing glance at you.

"stop looking at her." yunjin hissed. 

"i was just looking around?" kazuha reasoned.

yunjin gave her one last look before slumping back in her seat, arms crossed across her chest and a small pout on her lips.

she had seen you a few times in this coffee shop. she'd see you in the corner, hidden away from the world, typing on the keyboard of your laptop with a focused frown on your lips whenever she stopped by to order after her training. as creepy as it sounds, she would occasionally stay for a few moments to catch a glimpse of you.

kazuha and eunchae exchanged a glance as they noticed her casting another glance your way, having had enough of yunjin's cowardice. the two youngest teamed up and continued to convince yunjin throughout their time at the coffee shop, breathing in and out of frustration when she simply shrugged her shoulders in response.

unfortunately for them, they were unable to convince yunjin. however, just as it was time to leave, eunchae had this brilliant idea. 

the young girl managed to push yunjin out of her seat and into your arms as you passed by, hoping to get another order because you decided to stay longer to work on your other projects, when instead you got a flying brunette. you caught her, eyes wide as you stared at her shocked expression, her face slowly burning in realization as she realized what had happened.

"i'm so sorry!" yunjin yelped, flying out of your arms to give you a deep bow, giving eunchae a look in the process, to which the maknae sheepishly grinned.

you returned it with a gentle smile. "it's fine. can i help you with anything?"

yunjin had no idea where she got her confidence. maybe it's because kazuha and eunchae have been instilling false hope in her head the entire time and for the past few days. the words had flown out of her mouth before she realized it, her face turning redder than usual as a surprised look rose to your face.

"can i get your number?"

you blinked in surprise. you've seen her around, too. you must admit that she is stunning. however, you were so preoccupied with your schoolwork that you didn't have much time to think about it.

when you took a long time to respond because you were gathering your currently scattered thoughts, yunjin went to speak to take it all back, feeling embarrassed for even asking, but you beat her to it with a smile, making yunjin fall for you even more.

"of course, miss…?

"yunjin. huh yunjin." she rushed to take your hand, and she felt the need to melt right away as she felt your soft skin and warmth enveloping her with a single touch of a hand.

"miss huh yunjin. and i'm y/n l/n." you finished and glanced at her friends. she did the same to see them smiling and waving at you, which you returned with a soft smile.

"however, i had no idea that flying into the arms of a complete stranger was a new way of flirting."

we made a start, be it a false one, i know

baby, i don't want to feel alone

you were quick to make plans with yunjin. normally, you'd be wary, but she seemed so sweet, and she's so beautiful, that you couldn't help but give her a chance. yunjin was overjoyed when she received the message, squealing so loudly that a few of the other company employees ran over to check on her.

you went on a date, with yunjin taking you to places where you could find solace because, after seeing you in that coffee shop for weeks, she knew you'd prefer places like the one where you met.

she had butterflies the entire time, and so did you. holding hands, giggling like little girls, exchanging smiles, staring when the other wasn't looking, blushing when the other did something cute, and other such antics.

you had fun and were quick to like her.

yunjin fell deeper and was over the moon.

unfortunately, that day had to come to an end quickly, and you dropped her off, promising to see her again soon. yunjin waited for you to leave before releasing the squeal she'd been holding in all day, punching the air excitedly, causing kazuha and eunchae, who were waiting for her, to laugh at the older girl's silly reactions.

in her defense, you were really amazing today and treated her well.

so kiss me where i lay down

my hands pressed to your cheeks

yunjin found herself walking next to you in the middle of the night on the third date. you had taken her to an arcade, where she became tired because both of you were too competitive and wouldn't back down from a challenge, even if it was from another couple, which you were quick to accept and team up against, eventually winning.

so she was tired, but really happy.

you wrapped your arms around her waist, allowing her to lean against you for support. the entire walk was silent, both of you basking in each other's comforting warmth as the cold air of the night brushed against your skin.

you arrived quickly because the walk was short and yunjin drew back, but she kept your hand in hers, her thumb caressing the back of your hand.

"thank you for today, y/n/n." yunjin said, pulling you in closer.

you hummed, shyly returning her smile because she was a little too close to you, not that you mind her proximity at all. you squeezed her hand.

"thank you, yunjin-ie." you said quietly.

yunjin looked down at your lips, which you didn't miss, shuffling around in panic, your heart thudding nervously in your chest.

yunjin didn't know how she got to the third date without incident, but she couldn't do it any longer. your enticing eyes, plump lips, red cheeks, soft hands, tight koala hugs, soothing warmth, sweet words, adorable habits, and so on.

she adored everything.

with a quick glance at you, waiting for your consent, which you gave with a small nod, yunjin grabbed your face into her hands and her lips were quick to claim yours. you gripped her waist with one hand and gripped her wrist with the other to keep yourself grounded because you could feel your sanity slowly slipping away as her lips caressed yours softly.

yunjin's face pinched, holding you impossibly close, unable to let you go.

and so the moon and stars witnessed your first passionate kiss.

a long way from the playground

you were the first to pull away, your lungs screaming at you, and yunjin chased you, but stopped when you chuckled and rested your brow against her cheek. her warm breath hit your ear as yours hit her neck, causing prickling goosebumps to appear all over her skin.

"you waited a bit long for that, huh?" you joked.

yunjin grinned, watching you raise your head and returning your giddy smile. she gestured to you playfully, as if showing you off to a crowd of people. "i mean, look at you. you can't blame me, i was scared."

you chuckled and pulled her in. 

"don't be scared. kiss me again."

i have loved you since we were eighteen

"how's practice?"

yunjin collided with you, causing you to pause your typing on your laptop. you were going to sleep over tonight, and she also let you stay for the day to work on your backlogs while she did company training. yunjin wrapped her arms around your shoulders, burying her nose in your hair to inhale the familiar shampoo you used on your hair, which was now also on her pillows as a result of how frequently you'd stayed over for the past few days.

"tiring." yunjin mumbled, exhaustion evident in her voice.

yunjin quietly watched you, humming in content, as you quickly saved your work. you stood up and turned around, your brow raised at her satisfied grin and happy expression. you laughed at her ridiculous antics as you led her to her bed, allowing her to hold you close to her chest.

long before we both thought the same thing

to be loved and to be in love

"i'm sorry i couldn't spend much time with you."

you chuckled and gently hit her exposed stomach, which was exposed because her hoodie had ridden up when she pulled you down onto the bed with her. you reached up to pinch yunjin's cheeks as she drew back to look at you with puppy eyes.

"idiot, who do you think i am?" you asked, brows raised.

yunjin's pout grew bigger. "my girlfriend."

"exactly. i understand, baby. don't worry." you reassured and patted her cheeks continuously, only stopping when her pout finally disappeared.

yunjin drew you close and curled down to rest her brow on yours, lovingly gazing into your eyes. to comfort the tired girl, you returned the same intensity, hand squeezing her upper arm and leaning up to plant small kisses on her lips, which she would pucker up.

all i can do is say that these arms were made for holdin' you, oh

i wanna love like you made me feel

"debut is near, huh?" you whispered, worry swimming in your eyes.

yunjin simply hummed.

"are you excited?" you queried.

yunjin bit her lower lip. she knew that you were aware that something was wrong, and she was unsure whether she should be grateful. she didn't keep her problems from you, but she'd rather deal with them on her own. 

however, with you looking worried like the concerned girlfriend you are, yunjin broached the subject that had been bothering her since she was told she'd be in the lineup.

"i promise i'll make time for you."

you expected it, both her words and the fact that she'd be busy in the near future due to her career, so you held her face, thumbs gently brushing across her cheeks. yunjin enjoyed your warmth and leaned against your touch as you spoke.

you smiled. "i know, jen, i understand. but you need to promise me another thing."

"which is? anything, my love."

"i want you to be open with me. tell me, let me know anything and everything, and update me from time to time. understand?"

yunjin nodded obediently. "i promise, love. i swear."

when we were eighteen

you went quiet, satisfied. you just stared at each other, touches received and given, warm breaths intermingling in the remaining space between you two. until yunjin broke the peaceful silence.

"i love you."

"i love you, too."

we took a chance, god knows we've tried

"yunjin, i thought i told you to let me know?"

in response to your frustrated question, yunjin ran her hand through her hair, turning around to face you, causing you to bump into her, and she quickly reached out to steady you, albeit still stressed due to their debut preparation.

"i was busy, y/n." yunjin argued back.

"you think i didn't know that?" 

your voice was weak, indicating you were getting tired. yunjin looked at you, having avoided your teary eyes because she knew you were correct. she promised months ago to tell you, to let you know anything and everything, and to keep you updated, which she has all but failed to do in the last few days. however, her pride and stress were both impeding her reconciliation with you.

"i just wanted to know if you're okay. can't you tell me that?" 

you sighed, tired, and yunjin panicked when you turned around, fingers wrapping around your wrist. you were pulled back into yunjin's body, her arms quickly wrapping around your waist. you stood motionless as the soon-to-be-debuting american clung to you, her face hidden in your hair. after a brief moment of silence, whispered apologies reached your ears, yunjin swaying you from behind to the nonexistent music.

"i'm sorry. forgive me?"

yet all along, i knew we'd be fine

you melted in her embrace, sighing and pulling her arms around you tighter. yunjin kissed you all over the head, smiling triumphantly as she heard you giggling quietly. she turned around and wiped her thumbs under your eyes before planting another kiss between your brows.

"let me make it up to you?"

"mhm."

"ice cream and movies?"

so pour me a drink, oh, love

and let's split the night wide open

yunjin sat back in her chair, pure adoration swimming in her eyes as she watched you bond happily with her group members. she sipped her drink quietly as she watched you converse with sakura and kazuha in japanese, pride blooming in her chest because she got herself an intelligent girlfriend.

despite being a year younger than chaewon and not even being in the idol industry, when she asked you how to be a proper leader, you gave her the advice she needed. you understood the stress of always being the leader at school, chaewon reasoned, and yunjin rolled her eyes but listened quietly to your advice.

yunjin admired the way you animatedly interacted with eunchae, the younger girl staring at you in awe. as eunchae tugged on your sleeves and pointed to the food next to you that she couldn't reach, yunjin smiled as you helped their adorable maknae fill her plate with whatever food she desired.

and we'll see everything we can

living love in slow motion, motion, motion

if you were embarrassed by the girls' compliments, yunjin would laugh, loving the way your cheeks heated up whenever she agreed or added more comments. she adores how your eyes crinkle with delight whenever the girls do something ridiculously amusing.

and she adores it when you join in on their silly antics. there was one time you were laughing your asses off on the floor in response to kazuha's adorable fall and cute pouty face.

yunjin…

well, yunjin just loves you very much.

so kiss me where i lay down

my hands pressed to your cheeks

when yunjin was able to get you to herself that night, the girls leaving for a moment to get extra drinks (and eunchae's juice), she pulled you close to her and her lips brushed against your temple as she gently whispered to you.

"i love you, y/n/n."

you grinned up at her, melting against her as she wrapped her arm around your shoulder. yunjin sipped her drink as you whispered softly against her neck, smiling against the rim of her glass and watching the girls struggle, who refused to let eunchae do anything.

a long way from the playground

"i love you, too, jen."

i have loved you since we were eighteen

as she watched you walk down the aisle, yunjin felt a tug on the corner of her lips. your eyes were glossy with crystal clear tears threatening to spill, which you quickly pushed away as you smiled wide, flashing your perfect pearly whites.

long before we both thought the same thing

to be loved and to be in love

as you made your way to the altar, clutching onto your father for support and dear life, your gown hugged your body and your veil was slowly dragged behind you. yunjin knew you wanted to cry, but she also knew you didn't like crying about something you should be happy about, even if the tears were happy tears.

and all i can do is say that these arms were made for holdin' you, oh

tears streamed down yunjin's cheek, and you kissed your father on the cheek briefly. you turned around, tearing up, as one hand reached out to help you up the stairs, and you melted against her side.

and i wanna love like you made me feel

when we were eighteen

it was your dream to marry. 

yunjin remembers.

you'd always told her about it: how you wanted a ring on your finger, how you wanted that gorgeous gown (the exact same design), how you'd laugh at her if she cried at the altar.

she remembers it all.

when we were eighteen

oh, lord

when we were eighteen

"in the sight of god and these witnesses, i now pronounce you wife and wife! you may now kiss!"

kiss me where i lay down

my hands pressed to your cheeks

everyone could see you could barely hold back your tears as a pair of hands eagerly reached out to hold your face. more tears streamed down yunjin's cheeks as she watched you lean in, yu jimin tearfully returning the kiss, clutching the ring in her hand so tightly it would leave a mark. 

your tears began to fall as soon as you felt your wife's lips against yours, and the loud cheers in your ears were muffled, and the breaking of yunjin's heart was louder than the cheering crowd, with pieces of it breaking under your own heels.

a long way from the playground

"y/n/n, i love you, my wife."

"i love you, ji, my wife."

she was supposed to be happy for you. she tried, she swears she tried her hardest to pretend. she just couldn't. she was incapable of doing so. yunjin felt bad for feeling this way. she felt bad for wanting to ruin the wedding that had just occurred. 

your wedding. 

yunjin wasn't supposed to wish it was her instead of yu jimin next to you, peppering the back of your head with small kisses that you adored and holding you so close. she wasn't supposed to want to whisk you away from yu jimin, whose arms were wrapped around your waist as she planted kisses on your temples while you happily wept in front of the crowd, jimin whispering comforting words in your ear.

i have loved you since we were eighteen

long before we both thought the same thing

to be loved and to be in love

yunjin will never forgive her company for ruining your relationship. the relationship she had been guarding since before they made their debut. the relationship, which in every waking moment of her life, she treasured. the only relationship she would enter again and again throughout her life and the afterlife, but would never leave if only given the chance. the relationship that her company ruined, causing both parties to suffer at the time. 

yunjin would never forgive the company for threatening both sides, including the members. she would hate them for the rest of her life. she will carry her hatred for them to her grave and the afterlife.

and all i can do is say that these arms were made for holdin' you, oh

and i wanna love like you made me feel

when we were eighteen

and huh yunjin would never forgive herself for letting you slip through her fingers.

i wanna love like you made me feel

when we were eighteen

as you took pictures with your family and friends, the cheers of the crowd fell on her deaf ears. she couldn't hear or feel her friends speak to her or try to shake her out of her reverie. she watched you as you squished your face with your wife, a wide happy smile on both of your faces.

yunjin wished it had been her. 

yunjin wished she could be your wife. 

yunjin wished she could have you.

i wanna love like you made me feel

yunjin wished you were looking for her as you lifted your head to scan the crowd. however, as much as she wished for it, seeing your sparkling eyes was too painful. 

so, even if she wanted you to see her, yunjin turned and quickly left, her tearstained face hidden from view.

it hurt too much.

yunjin despised the idea that another woman would fall in love with you for the same reasons she had. she despised the thought of another woman touching you after she had laid her hands on you. she despised the fact that she wouldn't be the one to hear your sweet words and soft i love you's. she despised the fact that you wouldn't wake up to her silly faces or sweet kisses.

yunjin despised it. yunjin despised yu jimin.

you had moved on with her, married her. all of your dreams came true, but not with yunjin, but with your wife.

it was unfair. 

because yunjin was still in love with you after all these years.

when we were eighteen