#nikkimha

Clairey,

This is absolutely beautiful, and brought me to tears. I am incredibly happy that you have noticed this because it is completely the truth. I definitely want to make sure that all my answers are individualized and the asker knows that I put my heart into it. I want to give my undivided attention to each and every asker.

You are one of the sweetest anons MHA has ever received, and we are so glad you are here, lovely.

And lovely, I want the same thing for you. <3 <3

Hey there, Kirrily. :]

Firstly, you are not alone. I was/am exactly this way, and it took me a really long time to ask for help within a classroom setting or with my mental health.

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I feared being viewed as stupid throughout my years: from elementary school until last semester in college. The anxiety that would occur when I didn’t know how to do something, but yet, I couldn’t risk having people know that I didn’t understand it was one of the worst feelings. So, I completely understand how frustrated you are with this.

Also, like you —  I take everything to heart, as well. For example, I’m an English-Creative Writing major and I wrote a nonfiction piece that needed to be workshopped by other students. One student was workshopping my piece, and the things he said about it made me feel like he was criticizing my life when in reality, he was criticizing my word choice or sentence structure. But regardless, I was bothered.

Now, being afraid to ask for help with your mental health is also something that’s incredibly scary and a huge step. Suddenly, you are making yourself “vulnerable” and sharing some of your innermost thoughts. Naturally, it is scary.

Here’s an article by HealthyPlace that discusses fear and asking for mental health. This is another good read by PsychCentral, written by a Psy.D. about asking for mental health help. This is a firsthand account from a professor that I found totally interesting. And here’s one more. As for taking things to heart, which is something I feel a lot of us do, here are a few good resources for you:

HealthCentral: Why Some of Us Take Things Personally

PickTheBrain: Taking Things Personally — Four Ways to Stop

Psychology Today: The Nuts and Bolts of Not Taking Things Personally

I know how you feel, and again — I want to emphasize that you aren’t alone. It takes a lot to build up the strength to ask for help. Perhaps, something that you can do in a classroom setting is to raise your hand once a week for help. Then, slowly increase it. Eventually, you should begin to feel a bit more comfortable. Something teachers and professors always told me were: 

“There is no such thing as a dumb question; the only dumb question is the question that wasn’t asked.” 

“Ask the question you want to, because there is always someone in the room wondering the same thing.”

I hope this helps. <3

Hey, Ollie. :]

I’m so sorry that something you used to love has become something you fear. I can’t imagine how that must feel.

In my honest opinion, this reaction to storms seems (to me) that you might be subconsciously relating it to a traumatic event / unpleasing memory. I’m not a trained professional; therefore, I can’t give you a solid reason. However, based on what you’ve mentioned, I can see that being a possibility.

I definitely suggest that you speak to a trained professional: therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, etc. since this phobia is causing you severe anxiety and loss of sleep (which can cause/effect many things such as: decreased performance and alertness, which is crucial for the day ahead; impair your ability to think and process information; weakened immune system; weight gain; depression; and lastly, a long-term effect of loss of sleep is anxiety).

Here are a few sites that you may benefit from:

HelpGuide.org: Phobias and Fears

American Psychiatric Association: Phobias

Mental Health America: Phobia

MoodJuice: Phobias

AnxietyBC: Self-Help for Managing Your Phobia

Your phobia is one that is common. So, know that you aren’t alone.I’m here for you if you ever need me.

Hey there, EA!

Ah, I’ve been there before. With one of my former therapists, it took me nearly five sessions before I spoke to her and about ten sessions before I opened up to her. It’s certainly nerve-wracking to speak about the issues you’ve kept quiet for so long. However, I’m so, so proud and glad that you know you need to go to therapy. It’s a really great start and you’re heading in the right direction.

Perhaps, you could speak to someone via Web Counseling to prepare you for your therapist. As you wait for your therapy session, you should think about the things you hope to accomplish in therapy & what you would like to be different by the end. You should express your feelings leading up to now. Here’s a really good article that may work for you when it comes to opening up. This should also help you. I came across a site, ran by a licensed counselor, has a bunch of resources that you could look through.

Your fear is natural. It is scary heading to a therapist. But like one of the articles mention, listen to your instinct. You don’t have to like this therapist. You could easily see someone else. If you need anything else, don’t be afraid to come talk to me.

Stay strong,♡ Nikki

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Hi darling,

Lucky you, you’re getting two answers! I didn’t see Nikki answered yours as well :3

I’m really glad you’re going to see your doctor! I’m so proud of you for taking these steps, that’s absolutely amazing <3 I do admit that therapy is not the easiest, it’s actually pretty tough, but it’s definitely worth it. It’s not easy to work on fears, but it’s definitely possible. Something that I want you to realise is that during therapy, everything is okay. It’s okay to cry the whole session. It’s okay to be silent the whole session. It’s okay to laugh the whole session. It’s okay to ramble about anything the whole session. Everything is okay. So when you’re there, try not to think about everything that you’re ‘expected’ to do or say. The first session is solely about getting comfortable with your therapist. Getting to know them a little bit and them getting to know you a little bit. If you’re crying the whole session, they won’t mind at all. They will probably hand you tissues :3

Something that’s also really important to keep in mind is that your therapist won’t judge you. Believe me, they’ve heard of the most extreme things and even then they wouldn’t judge. I’ve had thoughts I felt so bad about that I couldn’t say them out loud, until at some point my therapist said that she could understand if I was thinking like that (keep in mind I hadn’t even said it then, she just knows me too well haha) and that it would be a logical reaction. And even if a thought or action doesn’t make sense (yet) to them, then you will together until you both understand why you acted or thought the way you did. What I’ve learned is that there’s a reason for everything, and those reasons make everything understandable. And that’s why therapists don’t judge. They know there’s a reason and that the reason will make the behaviour or thought valid for you. That doesn’t mean they will encourage you, especially if it’s unhealthy behaviour or a heavy thought to deal with, but they will understand and that’s what matters. Then you can both work on trying to change those behaviours and thoughts.

Since you didn’t write in specifically what your fear of therapy consists of, I don’t know if this has covered everything, but I do think I’ve got the basics. If you want to talk more, I’m always here <3

Love Pauline

Hi, lovely!

I want you to know that your message has hit home for me, and that you aren’t alone. Facing this situation is something that is going to take a lot of strength and courage, and belief in whatever religion, non-religion, or spiritual path that you chose.

You matter. You will always matter. This world will not ever be the same without you in it. You are the only person in this entire world who can be you. There is no one like you: not in the past, not in the present, and not in the future. “Today, you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” is a quote by Dr. Seuss. And although he may be but a children’s author, this quote carries so much weight to it. And is something that you should really embed in your mind. Therefore, you matter.

You are not worthless. Each and every single human, animal, plant that survives on this Earth is worthy. You are worthy of so much: of love, health, kindness, respect, acceptance, happiness. Those are just a few of the things; I promise there is so much more. You are important. You are worthy.

You are not stupid, nor are you misguided. Religion is something that can either unite others or turn them against one another. Whichever religion you have chosen (or have not chosen), whichever religion your family is, it is important as human beings to have moral respect, love, and acceptance of others. In all faiths, respect is huge. But even if one is not religious (i.e. atheist, non-practicing), respect is still something that is given and returned. You are smart for seeking out a religion or seeking a different path other than the one you know. This makes you a well-rounded person. Your family may believe you are misguided, yes. But that does not mean you have to believe them. Whatever faith or lack of that has lead you on this path, continue to follow it to the best of your ability. The only guide here is your heart; not the opinions of your family.

You wholeheartedly deserve a chance at higher education. To some, college / university may be considered a privilege. To most, it is a necessity to better your life, your mind, and to live comfortably (in today’s day and age). A person never, ever stops learning: university or not. But to be denied the chance of furthering your education is something that goes against your right.

Now, I am going to get quite personal with you because — like I mentioned earlier — your message hit close to home.

I was raised in a Catholic household. My parents were never really religious except during Lent, Easter and Christmas. Eventually, even Christmas simply became a Hallmark holiday. I went to religious education and received all my sacraments, but I did so because I was young and to please my parents. Once I was old enough to realize that there are other religions out there that may suit me better, I went searching. I am a believer in God. I always have been, and that won’t change; but, I wasn’t a believer in Catholicism because it was forced upon me. Where I live in New York, it is very, very diverse. I had a lot of Muslim friends, and after 9/11, I wanted to understand how one entire religion — the second largest in the world — could possibly be evil. Nearly two (2) billion people follow this religion, and they are all inherently bad? I asked questions on all religions, but considering I was closest to those who were Muslim, I asked them more about Islam. I dove into the Qur’an, I went to Islamic lectures, I read free Islamic eBooks, and I spoke to a few friends’ parents/mothers who have studied their religion. At 16, I converted to Islam. My parents found out almost two years later, and with that, came incredible abuse. Like you, I was told I was misguided and that I was brainwashed. I tried to explain religion (in general) to my parents, but they didn’t want to hear it. Media has corrupted them, and there was nothing I could do. I had to practice silently and behind their backs.

In short: I understand how you feel. It’s so difficult to move past this, but you can do it. It takes a lot. 

You are your own person: you make decisions for yourself, and no one else. You do what you feel is best for you. Granted, you and I may certainly have different belief systems — but you and I are people who deserve and are worthy of respect: to give and to receive. 

I understand you infinite amounts on this topic/feeling; therefore, don’t ever hesitate to come talk to me. I’m here for you, darling.

Hey!

I can surely give you the link(s).

Here is our Admins and Blog page with multiple links on it. If you can’t click through, here’s the pages individually.

Blog Admins

LiveChat Admins

Admins Areas of Advice

Admins’ Preferred Pronouns

Admin Languages

If you need anything else, let me know! And hopefully, this works for you. <3

Hi, lovely!

I checked, and we do have your ask! The way we work at MHA is from the oldest (the bottom) to the top (the newest). It’s fairly close to the bottom; therefore, soon, you’ll have a perfectly constructed and thought-out response from one of our lovely admins.

Hey, love. :]

We do have your ask. I understand the anticipation to see your ask answered; I was in your shoes not too long ago. But, please know we are working hard every single day. Your ask will undoubtedly be answered as soon as we can. The way we work our inbox at MHA is going from the oldest to newest (bottom to top). We have a lot of people working on answering all our followers. We want to guarantee that we answer you personally, privately, and with our undivided attention. In the meantime, be patient and stay safe! If you need immediate help, refer to our Hotlines and Web Counselling page.