#newsub

Understanding... As a Dom, your most important job - perhaps your ultimate and only job - is to understand your sub. It is your responsibility to the one who has placed their trust in you to devote attention, focus and time to understanding her signals, both explicit and infinitely subtle. Authority confers the potential for abuse.  In guiding your submissive, you hold the ability to either cultivate or crush; nurture or neglect.

And so, to my Princess… Understanding my submissive has so far required some restraint on my part. As the considerably more experienced partner in our dynamic, I have tried to allow her the space to ‘grow’ into her role and to find her place within this exciting new world in which she finds herself. While this might seem incongruous with role of a Dom, in fact it has forced me to reflect and develop.

As a Dom with an eager sub, it would be all too easy to impose a list of rules based on my established assumptions but ultimately, how would this help me to understand my sub?  When Princess asks me to make a decision, we work through it together; when Princess writes down a limit, we explore the idea itself, identifying from where her apprehension stems; when she apologises for being needy, I praise her for her eagerness to learn.  

Right now it is my job to weigh her apprehension against her insatiable curiosity.  Princess knows that this ‘soft touch’ approach will not last forever. Once I am satisfied that she has developed her identity as a submissive, she knows she will have to take the step of relinquishing more control. But for now, we both continue to learn, on that understanding…