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Ok sorry, before we start X-tinction Agenda, I have to catch up on this. I have put this off as long as humanly possible, but I can’t put it off any longer. It’s time to read Rob Liefeld’s run on New Mutants. Let’s take a deep breath.
So when exactly do the New Mutants stop being New? I say it’s when a 64 year old time traveling curmudgeoney slap dick joins your team. (New Mutants #87 – Mar 1990)
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#FirstAppearanceFriday #Deadpool Edition! Since I missed last week’s #1stAppearanceFriday, I figured why not show off two books this week. #NewMutants87, #1stAppearance of #Cable, and #NewMutants98, #FirstAppearance of #Deadpool, #Domino, and if anybody cares, #Gideon too. #ComicCollecting #RyanReynolds #JoshBrolin #ZazieBeetz
You know I’m just assuming Rob Liefeld created these Mutant Liberation Front assholes, but for all I know it could have been Louise Simonson. She’s the writer. She might have created… FOREARM… and REAPER. Not to mention THUMBELLINA who actually has a refreshingly non-traditional comic book villain body type.
Lard face??!! Jesus what kind of work environment is this? No wonder she can’t get the bomb to go off. Jesus Strobe! You’re blessed looking like one of Rob Liefeld’s porn stars! Why are you body shaming someone who actually looks like a normal human being that eats lunch every once in a while??? At least Cable distracts us here by teleporting into this situation and falling flat on his face in his very first full appearance.
Rob Liefeld totally created all of these shitty characters. (New Mutants #87 – Mar 1990)
For as infamous and popular as Cable was instantly after this first appearance, he sure gets his ass kicked in this issue. For all his pouches and ammunition clips, he gets one good shot in on Tempo and then gets his ass handed to him by Reaper and Strobe (I think I’m getting dumber each time I say one of these assholes’ names). The collateral damage here is Rusty, who gets shot to shit by some trigger happy guards.
Whatever I hope he’s dead. Then the bad guys get away and I’m sorry but look how funny it is when Cable is just lounging around after getting taken prisoner by the government. He’s not even restrained!
If this was real life he would be getting WATERBOARDED here. Are you kidding me? A mysterious, heavily armed time traveler with ill intentions toward the government? He’s not just going to be taking a nap on his cot in the facility they dumped him in. Hmm. Maybe. I guess he’s white. Maybe they’d just get him some organic food and make him comfortable until his court date. (New Mutants #87 – Mar 1990)
It’s time to finally catch up with our favorite New Mutants. Ages ago, Dani got possessed by Hela and the New Mutants took her to Asgard in an effort to help her (well, Doctor Strange just sort of marooned them on Asgard without any sort of explanation because Dani was too dangerous to be left on Earth). After having an extensive Asgardian adventure that saw them going so far as saving Odin from Hela while he was snoozing in his Odin sleep, they haven’t been doing shit since then except gorging themselves on meat and mead. They’ve had no way to get home after Doctor Strange fucking abandoned them but fortunately all that’s about to change thanks to some classic comic book mumbo jumbo.
Man considering all we’ve been through together, this is a very underplayed moment. The New Mutants returning to Earth while Dani is still bound to the Valkyrie means only one thing. We’re losing another founding member of the team, and we’re doing so with very little fanfare, especially considering all Dani has meant to the series.
I’m going to go so far to say that this is the moment when this series stopped being the New Mutants and started being X-Force. We can’t really have the New Mutants without Dani Moonstar. Not the New Mutants that we’ve known and loved up to this point. It’s Cable’s X-Force now. That’s the direction this series goes in and it does not look back. Well let’s not make this awkward. I hate goodbyes. But let’s just take a moment to reflect on all we and Dani have meant to each other. Goodbye, kiddo. (New Mutants #87 – Mar 1990)
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Here’s Stryfe’s first appearance. Just look at that fucking outfit. Who could possibly be bothered to put all that shit on. Hope you didn’t want to turn your head in that thing. Or look up or down. And then, after you’ve squirmed into all that gaudy ass spiked armor, there’s also a cape. Somehow you’ve still got to get that cape on. And hold it over your arm so you don’t trip on it. Because if you fall down in that thing... forget about it. This first appearance and big villain reveal reminds me a lot of Mr. Sinister’s big reveal. It’s framed in almost exactly the same way, with the grandeur and the choking, but this comes off like a cheap knockoff. A real cheap knockoff. Try again, Liefeld. (New Mutants #87 – Mar 1990)
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New arrivals for the wall and then some! #incrediblehulk #181 first appearance of #wolverine , #newmutants87 first appearance of #cable , #giantsizedxmen #1 first appearance of #storm #colossus #nightcrawler , and #amazingspiderman #300 first appearance of #venom ! (at Ssalefish Comics Greensboro)
