The Slow Wave Goodbye (11/29/20 - v1.10)
It was early fall in south Nashville. There was a nice breeze and I could smell a cook-out nearby. Burgers I think. I looked at Beth. She was beautiful. She looked back at me and smiled. My heart melted. Her hair fell loosely around her face and to her shoulders. The late afternoon sunlight reflected in her eyes and I could pick out colors from the foliage. Browns. Golds. Greens. She wore jeans and a loose fitting blouse. I loved that look on her.
I opened the basket in front of us and saw it held our favorites. Potato salad, Scotch eggs, sausage rolls, coleslaw, biscuits, fried chicken and our favorite Riesling. She was laughing at something I said. Whatever I said made me feel silly, but it always made me happy that she laughed anyways. I ate some chicken and held her hand. All of a sudden, she stopped laughing and quickly looked me in the eye. Her face turned serious and she reached towards me...
I felt something rub my cheek. My eyes opened quickly, and I shook my head. I was startled. I thought to myself; I need to get more sleep. My alarm had not gone off, so I slowly closed my eyes. A minute later, again, something rubbed my cheek. I sat up, and a voice inside my head said, ‘Get up…’.
I looked at my clock and saw it was blinking ’12:00’. ’Oh shit!’ I thought. The power must have gone off during the night. I quickly glanced at my chronograph. I was sure that I had overslept. I was relieved to see the time was 5:16 am. ‘Thank god!’ I thought. I was supposed to get up at 515am to catch my flight. I was flying to Chicago to close a deal I had been working on for over 6 months.
I got up, did a few pushups, and quickly made the bed. I walked to the closet and grabbed my packed suitcase. I placed the suitcase on the bed and then made my way to the kitchen to start the coffee maker. When I re-entered the bedroom I stopped and stared at the bed. I paused for several seconds, slouched and felt an emotional wave take over.
Beth was killed in a car accident two months ago. She was driving home from work when a car crossed traffic and hit her head-on. She was likely killed instantly. I found comfort in that. As the days passed, I discovered that I paused more and more often to stare at where she once slept. My chest knotted up. After a few more seconds, I shook off the feeling and made my way to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
I finished showering and got ready. I looked at my reflection and began to think about what I needed to do to close this deal. If I can close this business, it would change my life. I wished Beth were here to share this experience. She was always supportive, even during the toughest of times. I pictured her smile. That calmed me.
I finished in the bathroom, got dressed, grabbed my suitcase, and turned back to look once more at my bed. I then remembered to set the correct time on my bedside clock. I looked at the clock. The clock said 546am. I looked at my watch. That was the correct time. I was confused. Did I dream the clock blinking ’12:00’?
I needed to get going. I shook my head, turned around, and headed to the kitchen. I grabbed my coffee and headed to the front door. I turned off the lights, closed and locked the front door, and walked to the car. I placed the suitcase in the trunk and got behind the wheel. I started the car, turned my head, and began to reverse.
A few seconds passed, and I heard a voice say, ‘You’ve got this….stay focused. Believe in yourself…I want to help…I miss you’.
A calming feeling came over me. I stopped the car. I slowly turned to face forward, and through a window, I saw a light was on in the den. I then saw Beth standing in the window. She was smiling and waving slowly. My heart melted a bit. A few seconds later, the light went out, and she was gone.
I smiled and took a deep breath. I enjoyed the calming sensation. I thought, ‘Thanks, Beth…I needed that…until we meet again…I miss you...’.
Hopefully to be continued…
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