#nevergettingmarried

Old people often say, "achieve your goals and dreams and men will chase you afterwards", hmm I'm still wondering if that's true, because the only thing that's chasing me now is food.

I really am getting old. For my friend’s bachelorette I suggested a camping trip where we get really drunk and wake up somewhere pretty and not trashy. I also told them that I am not getting married bc I am being a rebellious teenager at the ripe age of 27. Also just thought about camping with pretty lights and playing games and getting drunk.  p.s. the hashtag i’m old is also i mold LOL

Thank God I do not have kids, because if I did, they would hate me. Just like my dogs do. What a coinkydink. #nevergettingmarried #single #forlyfe #onthetoilet (at Mesa, Arizona)