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In honour of the announcement of Jenny From Thebes, here's a digital drawing of an old sketch of jenny i had in my sketchbook
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(´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡
It had never really been anything anyway. It was totally artificial, a maniac's fantasy.
Iris Murdoch, from The Philosopher’s Pupil
Could you stay a little longer? I could really use the extra time I don’t know why I even care Cause I’m never really there
Dance Gavin Dance - Strawberry Swisher Part 2Â
I was there, but I was never really there
The sudden passion - never really there
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Second Place
He said something that I expected but was still caught off guard by. He said he didn't want to hold me back, and I wanted to ask from what but I already knew. He wants me to be happy and this that and the other, and I'm fine. I've never needed anyone in my life, do I like having people there, sure. Do I need them...probably not.
I know that no matter how many times he tells me he loves me and no matter how many time I say it back, it will never replace the fact that we will never actually physically be together. Yeah yeah never say never, but I know that his love for me second. That is not something that can or will be changed. And he doesn’t want me to make him a priority in my life, but to be honest I never did..it just happened that way and now everyone just does it for me...after 3 years it becomes second nature just like our I miss you turned into I love you.
The silent footsteps of our being...
The tune my mom used to hum to me when i was just a miracle - a hope inside of her - echoes in waves that surround me like veils of heat from a far off dream. I am young, naive, and bristling with awe as i step silently across a sandy California beach, the infinitesimal grains of sweet sugar sweeping through my toes. I am carefree and without a worry cause i know that life is long and there is time to kill today.
Raising one hand to wave to a happy toddler who smiles as he passes, my fingers become blurry and their shadow is drawn back behind them in a misty black breeze until it looks like they are being sucked from my body into the dimensions beyond. It catches my eye briefly but i move on. There are no cars, just people - a girl stands on the ocean's edge, waiting for the waves to wash up the beach and tickle her toes - and laughter fills the thick, saltry air.
The surface of the sea is a profound shade of green, a sparkling diamond of priceless worth. A spray of surf suddenly soars towards the sun and shimmers as it sprinkles me softly and surely, singing a song of serenity. There is nothing, for which i am glad. There is just being and shadow, of which i alternate between as i stroll down the beach, longing for this to never end, but realizing i was never really there.
