#net stuff

I started my tumblr back in december of 2017. I started my writing journey previously on a website called AsianFanFics (in 2012.. oof) which I still am thankful for til this day. I had written many stories on that website along with making many friends that I sadly no longer keep in touch with :(  And somehow, along the way, I no longer had the passion for writing anymore. 

But, I then got into Stray Kids and fell in love with them from watching their survival show. During this time (fall of 2017), I had gotten quite lonely since my sisters had left for university. I was so used to having sisters to talk to and play with and I no longer talked to many of my friends on a daily basis, so I tried to find other ways in connecting with people.. which is why I turned to tumblr :D

ANYWAYS, this part of the story is quite useless but I just wanted to share that with you guys since it makes sense in what I’m about to say.

I’m not sure if many of you know this, but I’m in my last year of high school (woot woot!) meaning i’m graduating soon :^) This year ... has been quite the rollercoaster. I was stressed out majorly in the fall because of college apps, but once I got them done, I felt so good :^)

And yes, I got into the college of my dreams so !! 

What I’m trying to say is is that my life has been pretty good lately and I’ve been really really happy. I noticed how clouded and negative my life had gotten since I got this tumblr, and I didn’t like it. Of course, I love this place, but I’ll admit I was more upset online than I was in person. I think it was because I got SO obsessed with tumblr that it was all I did- I spent all my time on it and all my thoughts were about how I could improve my blogs. I used to think of what picture of the members I could use as my icon or what my header should look like or what theme I wanted... but now, I don’t think about those things at all. 

I now think about the positives of life. I got into a good college (which was a big accomplishment for me) and I’m now excited about the numerous opportunities I’ll have because of it :) I’m always thinking about the social aspect aka the friends I’ll make when I’m living in the dorms. I think about living in the same town as my sisters (who had left me 2 years ago :/) and my sisters are the two most important people in my life. 

Moral of the story, I am so happy right now. I’m in a good mental state (much much better than what it used to be) and I feel no urge to vent or rant all my feelings into stories anymore. For me, writing was a form of therapy and a way to escape from the world, and no longer do I need to do that (at least in such a public way). 

Unfortunately, I also used writing like a shield. What I wrote in my stories were things I wanted to do, the characters were who I wanted to be, and because I wrote these types of things in my stories, I didn’t know who I should be in my own personal life. I thought that if I wrote these things down, I would be content with my stories but I don’t want to limit myself because of the stories in my head. I need to push myself to go outside and make friends and experience life and not live vicariously through my characters. 

From taking a long break from tumblr (writing in general), I realized I like who I am without it. Even though social media is a good way of connecting with people, I was craving face-to-face conversations. Something raw and real, not where online I have time to calculate what I say and the emojis I use or whatever it may be. I’m not saying that online conversations aren’t real, because I’ve made SUCH AMAZING friends on here that I value so much. But I used having online friends as a way to deflect my irl friends, and that shouldn’t be the case. 

So, if you read all of that above (or just skipped to here which is fine) here is what I’m really writing this whole things for:

I am leaving tumblr indefinitely + straykidznet will be closed down. 

I’ve made such good friends on here and I’ve learned a lot of lessons from being here. The stay community has been so, so good to me no matter how toxic it could get. I will always treasure my mutuals on here because all of the content creators on this website are amazing!! I will always treasure my time as a network admin too, it taught me a lot about responsibility. Although it got a bit rocky and time-consuming, I enjoyed it. 

I chose to end the network because there are now tons of stray kids networks that are amazing!! so there really is no need for me to find new admins and whatnot. I just cannot find the time or passion to upkeep the network and keep reblogging content :( I’m sorry but all good things come to an end </3

To my friends on here: you can find my on social media if you haven’t already LOL. Honestly, if you don’t have my social media by now, I don’t want to give it out because I want to let this chapter in my life go. but thank you, thank you all for being so good to me and making me laugh~ i treasure all the friendships i’ve made on here 

To my anons: thank you, thank you, thank you for always being there for me. I know I’ve gotten terrible at answering asks, but know that I’ve been in a better place recently. Thank you guys for popping by my blog and telling me about your days and asking me about mine. It meant a lot to me :)

p.s. I’m sorry but I will not be answering any more asks or messages. i just have no motivation to upkeep this blog :(

Honestly, I was hesitant on making a post like this, but I felt like the people needed an answer since I haven’t been on here for a while and since I will be giving up straykidznet, I needed to let you guys know. 

part of the journey is the end </3 :,)