(Reply to YT question that instantly went *poof. Cool.)
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What I know is both of these people, extremely well (and there are many who do).
There was no “THEIR” “relationship,” as if it was a thing that lived in a bubble. Our years from that era consisted of something akin to communal living - friends always around, day or night, people coming and going, existing within each other’s lives in a way perhaps a close family would. There were no secrets - and personally speaking, Julian and I were two people who told each other everything. Constantly. And I’m certainly not the only one who had that level of trust & friendship with him. He was an open and trusting, incredibly sincere person with everyone! Nesey and I were obviously well aware of each other and present in Julian’s life for most of that decade. Nesey rarely did not have a girlfriend during that time, which was always their actual “relationship.”
When Nesey first arrived in Athens with their “first true love” (an adult in her 20s), I was already very close with Julian. Nesey absolutely presented as someone who knew what they were doing, and was exactly where they not only wanted to be, but purposely intended to be. They were obsessed with E6, and they had been trying to find an “in.” Julian was not even the first person they attempted (intentionally sought) to form a bond with in the Collective. Nor was he the last.
What I, and so many others, began to eventually pick up on about Nesey was the level of obsession, mixed with increasingly narcissistic and opportunistic behavior. It would become more and more apparent over the years that Nesey would noticeably treat people they couldn’t personally gain anything from in an inferior manner. They eventually began referring to not only Julian’s fans, but even their own, as “suckers” - as if these fans were undeserving know-nothings that are only there to serve the singular purpose of elevating Nesey’s status or popularity. They still think of everyone in this manner - with an extremely gross, bloated sense of self-importance - as if you’ll never be as “cool” (or as pure? or as deserving??) as Nesey. But of course, you’ll never know that side of them.
You’ve heard one single statement from Julian while being constantly bombarded with a sea of never-ending accusations against him (and then against the people in Julian's life, which then evolved into accusations against any person not serving the purpose of believing and elevating Nesey). Many of these claims are so fantastically absurd at face value (Julian’s plot to hypnotize people in order to take advantage of them? That Julian was “lazy,” so Nesey somehow became the inspiration and driving force of The Music Tapes? etc., etc.). There are so many ridiculously absurd claims that no one could ever possibly keep up in order to deny them. This is what an active smear campaign consists of.
This campaign has been designed - not by Nesey, but by their Spouse.
The “spouse” was not in either person’s life until long after Julian had - finally(!) - cut off communication with Nesey (Spring 2009). He began trying to do so much earlier, yet it took a while for Julian to fully accept that he was being hurt, manipulated, and abused. Others in Julian's life who had been giving Nesey the benefit of the doubt, began to see their manipulative behavior as well, and Julian eventually realized he needed to get away from this person. Julian’s singular purpose to Nesey at that point (and realistically, in retrospect - always) was to “elevate” Nesey’s “status,” no matter the cost to Julian.
The “spouse” then met the narcissist, who was struggling with a life that no longer included control over Julian, so Nesey's previous opportunities for name recognition, for being “elevated,” were no longer available. This is where the “spouse” enters Nesey’s life and introduces a way to change that.
The “spouse” was an even more obsessive stalker type, who had already at that point sent a few dozen deranged emails to Julian, seeking some sort of connection with him.
The “spouse” NEVER EVEN MET Julian until 2021, and has only spent minimal amounts of time in person with Julian. The "spouse" barely knows him, but imagines they know him better than Julian knows himself. After Julian and Nesey started communicating again, the "spouse" initially offered to “mediate” & “translate” conversations between Julian and Nesey. The "spouse's" messages then began to spiral into intensely personal things and ultimately into confessions of romantic interest (all of which were unwanted by Julian). Hundreds of pages worth of messages to Julian that also consisted of extremely long, rambling “fanfiction-esque” writings. There was, and still is, a heavy obsession with John Lennon/Paul McCartney. A running theme in their writings is that John and Paul were having a "romantic affair" and that John SA’d Paul, which is headcanon'd as "reality" by the "spouse," as most of their stories consist of at least one character doing something completely sinister or is a type of “deviant” in some sick way.
(Side note, to be CLEAR - Fanfiction itself is not why I’m mentioning this aspect. Fanfic, either as a reader or writer is a perfectly normal, respectable, harmless activity or interest - for most. I’m referencing the “spouse” specifically here, as an individual person, not as a representative of Fanfiction. This is Not in ANY way an indictment or critique of “Superfans” or even “Fandom” itself. It’s a wonderful feeling, to connect with, relate to, and love something so much! It’s that inspiring light or wisdom or collective joy that we all seek in our own ways.)
Nesey initially sought out an intimate relationship with Julian, and has never stopped doing so. Every accusation (aside from age gap), allusion, or implication has been entirely made up by the “spouse.” It’s their “fanfic,” or “Transformational Fandom” - in their mind, they actually believe it’s perfectly fine to tell fantastical tales IRL (In Real Life -- as IF, it's ACTUALLY REAL LIFE). All of them (mostly sloppily) “Conducted” by a voice in the “spouse’s” head (known as "The Conductor," and it's just one voice of several). The purpose is presented as “gentle education,” “radical forgiveness,” “healing,” “reconciliation,” etc. etc. The constant mention and repeating of specific phrases such as these does indeed serve a purpose, although with an entirely disingenuous intent.
These are real people that the spouse's "voices” invent stories about. There is not a single day where either of them (N or “spouse”) fail to present themselves as being “victim” of "something" or "someone." I have never in my life thought any person I’ve been familiar with to be an actual sociopath. Until I became aware of the “spouse.” This entire “gentle education” ruse is how they break people down, by exploiting trauma itself, with claims drawn from & inspired by very real things that can and do happen! It’s just not at all what happened here, concerning Julian and Nesey. And there is one rule about the “spouse” that everyone is supposed to understand and accept (even Nesey is expected to accept it) - the "spouse" will never be wrong about ANYTHING, especially their “fanfic.”
They do this to everyone close to them. Even their own families have cut them off (or at least they currently have). You must be “educated” about things you’ve been accused of, (and they accuse everyone of absurd things) and then you must be “forgiven” by supporting and elevating them (see the idea of Mouse Mountain, where basically those who believe their never-ending story are then to provide them with community and funding and ultimately just flat out provide for them fully). You are serving your true role as “suckers.” (Good luck with that, Pacific Northwest.) The constant posts about community & co-opting important values is an entirely performative act. It's part of your "gentle education," presented by the most misanthropic, disingenuous manipulators who have zero sense of personal responsibility. Â
They will never stop mentioning his name because that’s what got you all in the room. That's what piqued your interest in Nesey (which the "spouse" began doing more openly, too), by claiming to be a “victim of Julian” as well. The "spouse" is upset because they could not force Julian to love and obey them, and for that, the "spouse" is seeking revenge. Without his name, they can’t reach anywhere near the amount of audience that Julian has. It’s like they actually believe that the more scandalous a story they invent about Julian, the more likely they will acquire the attention they both so obsessively seem to need (the “spouse” desperately wants to be known as a writer). They are trying to steal his audience, his work, his life, everything about him, by rewriting his history, his character, his life - as if he’s literally a character in one of the “spouse’s” fanfics. The content they post about is always horribly inaccurate, timelines incorrect, every single post almost entirely devoid of context - just obviously made up lies. The “spouse” is essentially an aspiring cult leader who has been using Nesey to manipulate you all. They want to be “Seen.”
In recent years, Julian was once again, sincerely trying to help Nesey get to a better place for themselves. He had the support and aid of his friends and family in attempting to help them however he reasonably could. It's how Julian thinks and lives. If he can help someone...even this person who was horribly abusive to him in the past, he'd rather try for the greater good.
They proceeded to try to take everything from him, and soon began to demand that he marry them both, live with them, and take care of both them and their kids. This is what the “spouse” decided “healing” and “forgiveness” MUST consist of. They both believe they are actually “in love” with Julian. They actively sought to cut him off from any contact with his friends and family. They did so many things to him that I will not mention in detail here - abusive, immoral, cruel & humiliating things, physical threats to not only Julian, but to even their own family. They broke him.
He was ABSOLUTELY NOT seeking any "relationship" with EITHER of them. And they had NO right to try and force him to be in any sort of relationship. People are allowed to decline romantic interests! Especially with those who have a history of abuse! Â
Julian's friends and family literally needed to save him from their control. He was able to get away and get help, and these two can't tolerate even that. Part of their tactic after the show cancellation this year was to accuse Julian of things they themselves were guilty of - before Julian could say it had happened to him. They accuse others of what they themselves have done, because they fear Julian or his friends are going to start talking.
When Julian was able to get away from them earlier this year, he handed his phone and all of his accounts over to friends, who began discovering the full extent of what had happened. The Gallons', of course, did not know this, and were still furiously texting vile threats to Julian - all day, all night, for weeks - falsely believing they still had access to and control over him. That's why friends/family stepped in and cancelled the one show with Nesey, because of a real threat to Julian's safety, and we have spent months pouring over the entirety (years) of communications with both Nesey and the "spouse." Â
There have been NO threats (perceived, real, or otherwise) from anyone at the behest of Julian, or from anyone close to him - none of us would EVER do such a condemnable thing. Our general approach has been no contact with either...that they will eventually reveal themselves, because they can't help it (I'm satisfied they have revealed themselves at this point, especially if you know where to look). They need to constantly mention him via false accusations or their opportunity for "community" (aka - being provided for) vanishes.
They will use various identities in order to shield themselves from any sort of pushback. Everything to them is somehow anti-something (be it Trans, Neurodivergence, Queerness, Autism, etc). These are utterly false arguments, and nothing more than an attempt to deflect attention from their own individual abusive acts. It's a tactic that they think rightfully shields them from their own personal accountability for explicitly cruel acts and manipulative behaviour (they even abuse each other. The only seemingly true bond they share with each other is this obsession with Julian and the attention his name can bring them).
There are so many who know Julian well and many who know them both well, and we all absolutely fully support Julian. There was no “pattern” or any sort of “sinister” or “deviant” behavior from Julian - ever. No other supposed "victims," ever. Do you honestly think so many of us would still so strongly support him if there had been? If we were not so confident in knowing the actual truth of both Julian & Nesey, and even the "spouse?" Or is it somehow more believable that we’ve all magically been “hypnotized?"
Julian's one mistake, from two decades ago, was opening the door for this monster and allowing them in.
Julian and his friends and family all just want to move on from these two, and we are - together.
