#neo loves

This will take time

I can’t rush what’s unfolding and growing

Even if it hurts

It’s needed to happen

I had to know

*goosebumps*

I had to know it all

Even if I didn’t wanna

I still don’t

But I have a therapist

Andre helped me get her

I’m very scared

I don’t know where or who I am

Andrea and Maji says it’ll be okay

For hearing me when I went silent,

After everything

For hearing the words that didn’t want to leave my mouth, for pushing me to speak

For seeing the expressionless expression

It made me happy,

Please keep going.

Like a tummy growling in the morning after eating a big meal and then falling asleep, the expansion of it,

causing pain in the morning, false perceptions,

I wish I was just told the truth

I wish I could isolate myself out of feeling but instead I’m stuck in my growling heart

I’ve been doing so much traveling

and now I’m finally landing at where I need to be

I’m sorry I can’t see clearly anymore

That I picked and I lost and now

Now,,

There’s something biting at me all the time

leading me too far

You’ve become too far that I can’t even pull the memory of your face

Of anyones face

My head is filled with a mosh pit of lost souls

Or maybe just my own

,,

How did I become so engulfed I was blinded to the truth of how it goes

Every time I heal I choose the demons

That I always feared

That I fear

Consciously conscious

Fighting not to pull out my hair

I’m struggling to breath

Pain pain pain

I didn’t know that this was my place

Didn’t know this was who I reflect

To give and be

to be and give

A cycle

Though you made me grow up in the rawest form

In the most painful way

I will never forget you

Though I thought you would stay

And you didn’t,

You help me find my path,

You helped me break my bones and grow them correctly

I will never forget yu

Though you hid

And never truly opened up

You taught me how to do so,

You WILL be a great father!

(Don’t lose yourself, the magic is just beginning)

Keep going;

(You used to tell me this)

“Keep moving Neo”

“Keep moving Andrea”

And I did,

I love you

More than I can say openly now.

Keep moving big bear

Keep your magic alive;

Because truly,

You are magic.

You have the ability of awareness

And that’s all you need

I know it’s hard;

Everything beating us down constantly trying to change us, to be different

To change for reasons we don’t resonate with,,

I believe in you, and your magic

Who you are;

Is beautiful,

You taught me the importance of punctuation through life experience.

You taught me to draw and expand my brain;

The gift of music,

You hold so much more than what is put in front of you

And even if its not me,

I hope you can escape

To build your family and feel happy as well;

To build your family and gain love as well;

Keep going big bear,

I will never give up on you,

No matter what has and will happen,

I will always be cheering you on,

Always;

SO NEVER DOUBT THAT!!!!!!

Your metaphors resonate deeply,

And though I have distanced myself from feelings I will always hold your essence dearly,

So keep going,

Keep growing,